TITLE: Unrequited
AUTHOR: Sara
Email:
scarab@blueyonder.co.uk
Unrequited
by Sara
Does he realize how beautiful he is, how a single smile from him can brighten my day, how his easy going charm can take the stress from my day. I don't think he does, but I do and I would give anything for him to love me as much as I love him.
As I watch him from across the messhall laughing at something his companion has said, I'm drawn to his eyes and how they sparkle with mischief. I smile to myself as I recall the kinds of trouble he can get himself into. It's never entirely his fault though; he's like a trouble magnet. I watch him as he walks over to one of the tables, his tray piled high and again the sight makes me smile. He never stops eating and yet never seems to put on an ounce; women would kill to know his secret. As he sits he brushes his arm across his companions back, an intimate gesture and as they share a smile, I feel a wave of jealousy. The feeling doesn't last long and is replaced with one of guilt. I have no right to feel jealous, I never once told him that my feelings ran deeper than friendship and now when I see them together, I just feel regret. I always thought that if I told him I'd repulse him, or more importantly kill our friendship. I could never live with that, never see the love he d! oes have for me turned into disgust and hate and so I stayed silent. Yes he does love me, but as a friend, maybe even a brother but until recently I never thought that Trip Tucker would want me or any other man in a sexual way.
Now as I watch them I realise how wrong I was. They are discreet and I only found out about the relationship because Trip told me. He wanted his best friend to know how happy he was, that he was in love with someone wonderful and hoped I wasn't disgusted with the fact it was another man. I had smiled and told him how happy I was for them both, even raising a glass to toast their future together, but underneath the smile my heart was breaking and I knew that due to my own cowardice, I'd lost him.
As I leave the messhall, I give the couple one last look and see the love they have for each other in their faces. Most people on board wouldn't have given a friendship between these two a chance, they are chalk and cheese, oil and water, but what is it they say about opposites attracting. Slowly I head to the bridge to return to my duties as Captain and smile to myself. I will always love Trip and I want to see him happy. If that can't be with me then I can think of no one better for the job than Malcolm Reed.
THE END