Title: Day Of Memories

Author: Britta

Series: VOY

Codes: C/P

Rating: NC-17

Archive: Fine with me, just tell me where.

Disclaimer: Someone else owns these folks. I just let them do whatever they want. Money being made? You have got to be kidding. It's a labor of love--theirs. May contain m/m sex, if you don't like, take a hike.

Day of Memories
by Britta

Frowning, Chakotay stared at the padd in his hand. His concentration was shot and he knew it. Setting the padd aside, he eyed the other pending reports and decided they could wait. He was worried about Tom, and had been for several hours. All during their Bridge shift his lover had been subdued and he wondered if it was his fault.

Chakotay had been a little less attentive in public lately, but that was because the captain's sharp eye was constantly being aimed in their direction. She had been observing them more closely than usual, and he suspected she wanted to catch them doing...something.

Dinner had come and gone without his noticing, and now it was time to put the professional part of his life on hold until tomorrow morning, or the next yellow alert, whichever came first. Abruptly, he got to his feet and left his office. He headed directly to his cabin, hoping Tom would be there.

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Tom lay in the middle of the bed determined to think about nothing. Not what day it was, not why Chakotay had recently built an invisible barrier between them whenever they were outside their quarters, not why he was pissed off by that, not...

He blinked and pulled his robe more tightly closed when he heard the commander enter the room. Refusing to look at Chakotay, he turned his head, and also remained silent when the other man halted by the bed.

"Sorry I missed dinner." Chakotay bent down and kissed him on the cheek.

Tom shut his eyes in response and Chakotay moved away. He waited until he heard the door to the bathroom open and close then resumed staring at the ceiling.

+|+|+|+

Shit. Tom must be really upset if he turned away from me, thought Chakotay, as he stripped off his uniform. He showered quickly and donned his robe, anxious to lay Tom's doubts, fears, or anger to rest, if he could.

Chakotay joined Tom on the bed and tried to snuggle. It didn't work too well as Tom lay in his arms with about as much energy as a dead fish.

"Tom?"

"Hmm?

"What's wrong?"

Tom flopped about, pushing Chakotay away then sprawled gracelessly on the bedspread. "You haven't touched me in days."

Chakotay backed up to sit against the headboard and retorted, "I have so."

"Not when we're in the same room with the captain, you haven't." Tom rolled onto his side and stared at Chakotay's kneecap.

Laying a hand on Tom's head, Chakotay brushed back the light hair and said, "She's been watching us lately. She seems to find us, um, interesting, in a new, maybe different, way."

Tom snorted and replied, "Get a clue, Chakotay. She's obviously not being satisfied by her holographic lover, and she wants to remember what the real thing is like."

Chakotay leaned down and gave Tom a kiss. "Is that what you think?"

"That's what I know."

"How do you know?" Chakotay asked, as he pulled Tom up to sit back to front with him, spoon-wise, between his legs.

With a sigh, Tom leaned backward into Chakotay's embrace and replied, "She messed with his program without my permission and locked out any changes either of us could make."

Feeling tension in the shoulders under his hands, Chakotay pushed Tom forward, stripping off their robes, and began kneading. He said, "I'm sorry she did that to one of your holocharacters. It must be really annoying to have someone edit your work like that."

Tom grunted, "It is."

Finally, Tom was opening up to him. Certain that he was on the right track to finding out the real reason behind Tom's earlier despondency, Chakotay increased his sensual assault.

+|+|+|+

"I can't think when you do that." Tom squirmed as his lover's fingers gently stroked between his legs, which were draped over Chakotay's. His robe having been tossed aside, he shivered slightly as he leaned back against the broad chest. In response to Chakotay's
touch, Tom splayed his legs even wider.

They sat in bed leaning into each other, one holding from behind, one being held, both needing the contact. Chakotay nuzzled Tom's neck and said, "Then don't think. Just talk. Tell me what's really bothering you."

Something collapsed inside Tom as he realized Chakotay would not let go of him. He capitulated, allowing himself to be touched, be made love to...and he began to explain. "I've been thinking about the military holidays. It's that time of year again." He looked over his shoulder at the man who had captured his soul so long ago and wondered why things worked out the way they did.

Chakotay kissed him. "You mean when the memory of Daddy Dearest comes back to haunt you?" Another kiss, this time on his shoulder.

The hands moved across Tom's chest, holding him securely and Tom relaxed a little more. "Not just him." Tom moaned when Chakotay's right hand took charge of his dick.

"Then who?" Chakotay demanded in a low voice.

"It's Memorial Day, and we are supposed to remember those who have been lost in the line of duty..." Tom heaved a great breath as he tried to explain his dilemma.

Chakotay whispered in Tom's ear, "I understand. I have people on my conscience, too. Warriors--all of them."

Feeling his face turn as red as the head of his cock, now being teased by Chakotay's thumb, Tom gasped, "It's not the same."

"Yes, Tom. It is. We are celebrating the fact that we are alive to remember and honor our fallen comrades--no matter how or why they fell."

Tom couldn't sort out his emotions and said, "I don't feel much like celebrating."

Chakotay leaned forward and moved Tom's head sideways, dropping many gentle kisses on his face. It was clear they needn't do anything spectacular tonight.

He chose to trust Chakotay and go with the flow of events. Caldik Prime faded into memory again as the sensations from his lover's hand intensified. "Oh god...keep doing that, only harder."

"Like this?" asked Chakotay.

"Mmm, yeah. Just like that." Tom shifted his position and forgot what he wanted to say next. Chakotay's hands were healing him; sending his nerve endings loving messages to distract him from his upsetting thoughts.

Chakotay's teeth found his neck and Tom knew he would have a mark in that spot that would last for days. He didn't mind though; it wouldn't show while he was in uniform. The suction increased as the hand around his erection began pumping faster. His worries evolved into something else entirely, and before too long, Tom forgot them completely as he climaxed in his lover's hand and slumped back in total relaxation. "I love you, Chakotay."

"I love you, too, Tom."

Minutes later, Tom emerged from the pleasant haze he'd been drifting in and became aware of Chakotay's erection pressing against his lower back. His own tension relieved for the moment, he leaned forward so that he could reach back and clasp the hard length in his hand.

Chakotay let out his breath in a hiss and Tom asked lazily, "You got any special plans for this?"

There was no immediate response so Tom waited a moment, then squeezed and heard a plaintive, "No. It's all yours."

Thinking about what Chakotay had said and done earlier, he realized he wasn't the only one who had a tough time with this holiday. A new cure, or maybe just a treatment, flashed through his mind. Tom grinned and stated, "Good." He turned around and settled on his knees before giving Chakotay a long, love-filled kiss.

Finally satisfied with the shaking reaction he'd evoked, he said teasingly, "So you think Janeway's intrigued by what we do in bed?"

Chakotay panted, "And other places--don't forget what happened on the holodeck last week."

"Hmm. Then maybe she'd like to watch me do this!"

Tom swooped down and slurped Chakotay's cock into his mouth, smiling in his mind at Chakotay's shocked exclamation of, "Oh gods, Tom!"

THE END