Title: Time Off

Author: Belynda

E-mail: belindat@ihug.co.nz

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: C/K

Status: New, Complete

Parts: 1

Date: July 16, 1998

Series: Love Life

Story Sequence: Love Life, Decisions, Dinner At Harry's, No Regrets, Time Off, Remember

Web Site: http://members.tripod.com/~belyndat/index.html

Summary: After a hard week, Harry takes care of Chakotay's needs. And then Tom finds out ...

Disclaimer: All characters, places and terminology that you recognize belong to Paramount. Anything else is totally mine.

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! This story if about a m/m relationship. If you have a problem with m/m relationships or you are under 18, please leave now. You have been warned!

Chakotay flopped down on to the couch with a sigh. What with alien threats and breakdowns happening all over the ship ever since they had been hit by the seemly harmless ray from an alien planet six days ago, he had gotten less than five hours sleep a night. And he was exhausted!

Finally the warp engine was back on line and they had gotten away from the treating aliens no less than twelve hours ago. Even though the warp engines were on line and no more system failures had occurred, there where still the maintenance and repairing of other systems to go. And on top of that, he still had crew evaluations to do. And the captain had known this. She had told him sternly that he had tomorrow off and that crew evels could wait. He had been about to argue with her, when he had swayed on his feet. That had stopped all arguments from him.

It had only been his promise to go straight to his quarters and lay down, thinking that on the way he would stop into engineering, that had stopped her from taking him to sick bay herself. But now that he was finally in his quarters, he was to tired to do more than sink onto his couch. Relaxing further into the softness of the couch, he closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

He knew that he had been asleep for only a few minutes when he was shook gently awake. Rubbing a hand across his eyes, he moaned. "We had better be under attack or who ever it is, he is a dead man."

A soft chuckle greeted his ears. He knew instantly who it was. Opening his eyes, he saw that he was correct. Ensign Harry Kim. His lover of a few weeks. "Harry I'm to tired to do anything tonight. Why don't you go back to your own quarters."

Harry arched an eyebrow in the same way that Tuvok did, and Chakotay almost forgot what they were talking about.

"Your not the only one who is tired, Commander. The Captain just informed us that you have the day off tomorrow and I just wanted to make sure that you were alright." Concern shone from his eyes as he tenderly cupped the first officers head.

Chakotay smiled. He couldn't remember the last time he had ever felt so cared for. In fact, before he and Harry had become lovers a few weeks ago, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt safe and loved. Like he did with Harry. "I'm fine. I think that the Captain knew that I was helping out in other departments in my off time, and that I wasn't getting enough sleep because of it. So she took me off duty until the day after tomorrow, so I could sleep. I did happen to be sleeping before you came in, you know."

Shrugging, Harry got up from his knees and walked over to the dinning table where he had placed a carry bag. "I did notice that. But I did some checking before I came here, and it seems that as well as not getting enough sleep, you also haven't been eating enough. So being the concerned ensign, thinking of only his duty as a lower crew member towards his commanding officer, I brought some food for us to eat." He opened the lid on the first container. Letting the aroma lift up out of the container in a puff of steam, he hide a grin. "Unless you aren't hungry, and want me to leave?"

Chakotay had been about to politely ask the younger man to leave, thinking that he wasn't hungry, when the smell of something utterly tempting met with his nose. Suddenly his stomach let out a growl. Seeing the knowing look in Harry's eyes, Chakotay got to his feet. "As I now have no way of getting to sleep until I have eaten, you had better feed me. What have you brought me?"

"Pumpkin and potato soup. Freshly baked bread. Then a small pasta dish with vegetables. And for dessert, cheese and crackers." Harry bowed and pulled out a chair for Chakotay. Once he was seated, Harry served the soup.

Half an hour later, Chakotay pushed his chair back and got up. After having eaten his full while having one of the most enjoyable talks to date with Harry, Chakotay knew that he couldn't stay awake any longer. Hiding a yawn behind his hand, he moved until he stood behind Harry. Leaning down he wrapped his arms around the front of his lovers shoulders. He pressed a kiss to Harry's temple. "Thank you. For everything."

They stayed there for a minute then Harry stood up. He turned within Chakotay's arms and kissed him. It was without passion but full of love and tenderness. "You are most welcome. How about you go and get ready for bed and I'll tuck you in."

Chakotay arched an eyebrow. "Oh? And after you tucked me in. What were you going to do after that?"

Laughing, he shook his head. "Baby, you have a dirty mind. You are way to tired to do anything tonight. I would just like to hold you until you go to sleep."

Even though it was one of the most simply of requests, the older man felt an welcoming heat in his heart at Harry's words. Nodding, he walked into his bedroom and got ready for bed while Harry cleared up the remains of their dinner.

He was covering up a yawn, already in bed, when Harry entered the room. He paused for a moment in the door way, then crossed the room. Spooning up beside Chakotay, Harry rested his head on the commanders shoulder. Then Harry broke the silence. "When I was a child, I used to have these dreams. Not normal dreams about being the Captain of a starship or of the latest person you had a crush on, but dreams of this great big black panther."

Chakotay gave a small start. Harry was finally telling him how he had received his tattoo of a black panther. He had asked several times over the last couple of weeks to hear the story, but again and again, Harry had said no, that the time wasn't right. And now, when he thought that he was going to fall asleep at any minute, Harry choose to tell him.

The ensign continued. "For as long as I remember, I have dreamt of the panther. Usually the setting is in a jungle somewhere, but sometimes in a great city. He was always watching me, as if he was waiting for me to do something. Anything." He started stroking Chakotay's naked chest. "At first, when I told my parents about the dreams, they would look at each other, as if to say 'how cute', but as the years went by that look was slowly replaced by one that showed they were a little worried about my sanity. Even though I was young, I realized that to continue to tell them about my dreams of the panther, could end up with me in a mental institution. They were just those kind of people. So I stopped telling them." Harry knew that he couldn't tell Chakotay about the fact that he had seen the panther even when he was awake. As much as he trusted the commander, that was something he couldn't talk about.

"The less I told anyone of the dreams, the less I had them. After a few months of not saying anything about the dreams, denying they existed, they stopped. Just stopped. When I realized how long it had been since the last dream, I panicked. I was 18 at the time. I was suddenly desperate to have the dreams back. Deep down I knew that I should be glad, after all my parents were, but I just got more upset as time went on. I hid it well, I guess, because my parents never realized just how distraught I was. And then I saw a documentary on the vid. I don't even remember what it was about, but there was this one man in it who had a tattoo. And suddenly, I knew that I had to have one of him. A tattoo of him on me. So when I had a break from the academy I went with a friend and got it done."

Looking up he saw that his lover was still awake, but going to be asleep very soon. "After I had it done I felt an inner peace that I hadn't felt in years. It was like coming home. And this time when the dreams started to return, I accepted the fact that it was apart of me. And since then I have never regretted getting the tattoo. Even though I had several fights with Libby over it."

"You fought with Libby over a tattoo?"

"Yes. Silly isn't it. Such a small part of our relationship, which had nothing to do with her or our relationship, and we fought over it. But finally she realized that I wasn't going to have it removed, she gave up. What she didn't realize was that it was a part of me. Past, present and future. Together as one."

"That's how I feel about my tattoo. It is apart of me, and if I were to lose it, for what ever reason, I would know that a part of me would be lost. I wouldn't feel complete." Chakotay said sleepily.

Harry pressed a kiss to Chakotay's shoulder. "Yes. That's how I feel too." He looked off into space as he thought about the tattoo and what it represented to him. "I still dream of the panther. And the dreams are becoming more and more real and more often. I don't know what it means." He lifted his head and looked towards his lover for guidance, but Chakotay had fallen asleep. Continuing to look at his lover, he slowly raised a hand to the tired but beautiful face of his beloved. Yes beloved. Although he hadn't said the words, he did love Chakotay and knew that Chakotay knew that he loved him. Just as he knew that the commander loved him.

Sighing, he pulled the covers more securely about himself and the first officer. Within a minute he was asleep himself.

Chakotay woke the next day feeling more refreshed than he had in days. Stretching he got out of bed. Looking at chronometer, he saw to his surprise that it was 1846. He had slept almost 18 hours straight. Knowing that Harry would have left early in the morning so that no one would see him coming out of his quarters, he couldn't help sighing at the situation that he found himself in. He had gone into this relationship with Harry, knowing that he was already half in love with him, and he wanted everyone to know that Harry was his. For now and for always.

But Harry didn't want anyone to that they were lovers. He was afraid of what the other crew members would say about their relationship once it became known that they were lovers. Chakotay himself was a little concerned about what the reaction of the crew would be, especially Kathryn. But it was what Harry wanted. For now at least.

Feeling hungry, he walked over to the replicator. After he had eaten his full, he took a shower. He was toweling his hair when he walked into his bedroom.

"You look got enough to eat."

Startled, Chakotay lowered the towel. There on the his bed was Harry. A naked Harry. And becoming more aroused by the minute if his erection was any indication. Of course the fact that Harry was slowly stroking his erection with one hand didn't help the tempting picture presented in front of him. Stunned at the sight of a naked Harry in his bed, a sight he hadn't seen is six - no seven days, he just stood there. He finally moved when Harry held out a hand for him to join him on the bed. With no further encouragement, Chakotay crossed to the bed and pulling off the towel from around his waist, quickly moved so that he was sitting astride Harry's prone body.

Licking his dry lips, he ran his hands down Harry's hard chest and back up again. "This is a very, very, welcomed surprise. A surprise that I am going to enjoy very much." Seeing the aroused look in Harry's eyes, he leaned down and caught the younger man's lips in a deep kiss.

Harry responded instantly, running his hands from the commander hips up his back until he reached the commanders shoulders. Then holding tightly he pulled himself up into the commanders arms. The second their chests touched, the kiss become more intense, more hungry. For several intense minutes their tongues mated with each others.

Then Chakotay pulled away from Harry's hot lips. Pushing the younger man back down into the bed, he kissed his way down Harry's body. He stopped at the harden nipples, licking them then blowing across them. Smiling at the shiver that swept the ensigns body he kissed his way down to the weeping cock. Feeling Harry still in anticipation, he kissed his way down to the ensigns balls. After several long minutes of hearing Harry moan and pant, he let go of a ball and in one swift movement took as much of Harry's cock into his mouth as he could. Feeling and hearing the scream that was ripped from the young mans throat, he pulled back and started to lick and suck the large head of the weeping cock.

Within minutes Harry was arching up and twisting his body on the bed. He hadn't stopped moaning for the last several minutes, caught up in what Chakotay was doing with his mouth and tongue. Panting, he reached up behind himself and grasped the headboard with both white knuckled hands. "Chakotay. I'm going to come!" he gasped as again his lovers tongue swept across the underside of his cock.

Licking his lips, the first officer looked up at the straining body of his lover. "Then come." No sooner than the words had left his lips, and Harry was crying out as his came. Chakotay lowered his head just in time, taking into his mouth Harry's hot come.

Licking Harry clean, he tenderly kissed his way up Harry's body until he met his lovers waiting lips. Slowly they kissed.

Harry could taste himself on the commanders tongue and he arched up into the hard body of his lover. Feeling the hard erection pressed against his leg, Harry pulled back. "That was so good. But I think we should move onto the next item on the list. Don't you?" Seeing the flare of desire in Chakotay's eye, he rolled the commander onto his back. Pressing his body along the length of his lover, he reached down and took Chakotay's arousal in his hand. Looking deep into Chakotay's eyes, he started stroking the older man. He felt the way his lover quivered. Moaned in desire. And arched further into Harry's hot body.

"What do you want? Would you like for me to stroke you until you come? Suck you until you see stars? Or fuck you until you scream?" Harry asked, taking in every moan at each of his questions. He also noted that his lovers response to his last question. His cock stirred to life once again, pressing into the commanders thigh. "What do you want me to do? Tell me and I will do it. For you."

Gasping, Chakotay briefly closed his eyes as the pictures Harry's word brought to mind. They had done all of those thing since the had become lovers, but there was nothing he loved more than having Harry's large hard cock taking him. With no hesitation he told his lover his answer. "I want you to fuck me so hard that I can't walk. I want you to take me so hard and fast that we both see stars. And I want it now."

Harry stilled and listened to his lovers demand. As soon as Chakotay stopped speaking, Harry crushed his lover to his chest and kissed him until they were both gasping for air.

Chakotay grinned as he pulled back, desire shining from his brown eyes. "I take it that is a yes?"

Panting Harry reached under the pillow and held up the tube of lubricant for Chakotay to see. "What do you think?" Sitting up, he moved until he was sitting between the first officers parted legs. Putting the tube to one side, he pushed the commanders legs up and apart, and leaned down and in one lick, drew his tongue from the puckered entrance to the hot balls. Seeing Chakotay arch up, he repeated this several times, running his tongue up and down until he turned his soul attention to the spasming anus of his lover. Swirling his tongue over the tight ring, again and again, he added lubricant to one finger. Pulling back, he added one finger to the tight hole, trusting in and out, twisting it first one way and then the other.

He paused and added a second finger. A minute later a third. Several minutes later he add a fourth finger. By now Chakotay was moaning his name, over and over again, shaking in desire. Finally, Harry knew that his lover was ready. Adding more lubricant to his cock, he slowly pushed into the hot waiting body of his lover. Both sighed once he came to a stop, his hard cock all the way inside his lover. Wrapping one leg around Harry's waist, Chakotay placed his other leg over his lovers shoulder. Both groaned again as this sent Harry even deeper into Chakotay.

Opening his eyes, the ensign watched the commander. Holding both of Chakotay's legs, Harry licked his lips. "Are you ready?" At the first officers nod, he withdrew, then thrust back into the tight heat of his lover. Again and again. Chakotay was now holding onto the head board with one hand and had a fist full of bed sheets in the other. He thrust his hips back onto Harry's cock, welcoming the hard length of his lover as he rode his lovers cock.

Tightening his grip on Chakotay's legs, Harry speed up. Turning his head he kissed the leg that was draped over his shoulder. This caused the commander the moan loudly. "Harry. Please. Move faster." He demanded. Then he raised his head and looked Harry straight in the eye. "Make me come. Now!"

Groaning at the words, Harry released one leg and reached across and grasped Chakotay's burning erection. With his lovers cock in hand, he stroked the weeping cock in time to his trusts. He heard Chakotay groan deep down in his throat, as his balls tensed up under Harry's hand, getting ready to unload its essence. Knowing that he himself couldn't last much longer, he speed up faster still and leaned forward and bit Chakotay's nipple.

Chakotay stilled, then arching up, almost bucking Harry off. He screamed as he came, shouting out Harry's name. Feeling the commander tighten around his cock, was enough finish Harry off and with a gasp of his lovers name, he was coming, pouring his come into the welcoming body of his lover. With what little brain he had left, he managed to not squash Chakotay as he collapsed down onto the bed.

After several minutes of heavy panting, and tender caresses, Harry managed to lift his head and pressed a gentle kiss to his lovers dry lips. "That was out of this world. It almost made up for not being able to touch you all week."

Chakotay chuckled. "Yeah. But it still doesn't mean you are going to get away with it that easily."

"Get away with what?"

"Even though you didn't touch me all week, you gave me enough looks to make sure that I was always thinking about you. You were teasing me and it was only because I am the first officer on this ship, that I didn't bend you over your consol and take you where you stood."

Harry couldn't help the shiver that swept threw his body at the picture 'that' brought to mind. "Promises, promises."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he was flipped over on to his back by a suddenly energized first officer. "Bite your tongue Ensign. Or better yet, let me." Chakotay informed the younger man as with a wicked grin, he lowered his lips to Harry's.

Harry's last thought before he surrendered to his lovers will, was "It is a good day to die." From then on his body took over.

Tom looked up as Harry walked into the holodeck. Watching as the young ensign make his way through the crowd, stopping to smile and talk to people as he went, he couldn't help wondering what had put Harry in such a relaxed and happy mood. It had been almost three weeks since they had been hit by the ray from the alien planet and every one had been working longer hours to repair Voyager. Everyone was only just starting to get back into their old routine. And it had been even longer since he and Harry had been able to talk.

B'Elanna noticed Harry entrance as well even though she had been preoccupied with the engineering padd she held in her hand. "What's up with Harry? Over the last few weeks I've noticed that he seems happier. Is he seeing someone? Seven of Nine perhaps?" She asked with a grin.

Tom shook his head. "I don't think he's seeing her. But then again I don't see as much of Harry as I used to in the past. Maybe he is seeing someone."

"Your not complaining about the amount of time we spend together, are you?" B'Elanna asked, a little hurt.

Tom's head snapped around. "God no. We don't see enough of each other as it is. Maybe if we were to start dating in public, we might see each other a little more. But never think that just because I don't get to see Harry as often as I used to, that I want to stop seeing you. Never."

Pleased, B'Elanna gently placed her hand on Tom's shoulder. "Thank's Tom. Sometimes I just need you to say the words. And we have talked about going public with our relationship before. I just want it to be just us for a while first. Okay?"

"Okay. Now who do you think our young friend is dating? Has Harry said anything to you?"

"Have I said what to B'Elanna?" Harry asked as he sat down in one of the resorts chairs opposite Tom and B'Elanna.

Exchanging panicked looks, Tom said the first thing on his mind. "I was just asking B'Elanna if you had said anything to her about what you have planned tomorrow night."

Flashing a grin at B'Elanna, Harry answered Tom. "I haven't got anything planned for tomorrow night. Why?"

"We were just wondering if you wanted to have dinner with us tomorrow. In my quarters."

"Sure. I can come to dinner. What time?"

At this Tom looked to B'Elanna for guidance. "1930. Is that alright with you?" She asked, avoiding her lovers eyes. "And why don't you bring someone with you. Like a double date?"

Harry looked at first one then the other of his best friends. He knew that they would have no way of knowing about his relationship with Chakotay but with Tom you never knew. "Bring someone? Why?"

Tom now jumped in with both feet. "Three is such a bad number for a meal. And anyway, you are seeing someone aren't you?"

The young ensign looked firstly to B'Elanna and saw her biting her lip, trying not to smile. Then he looked at Tom. Tom had a knowing look in his eyes, as if he was half certain that he was correct but a small part of him denied it at the same time. Sighing Harry relaxed back into his chair. Licking his lips, he started to explain. "Yes I am seeing someone, but it is still very new. I don't want anyone to know about us until we know that it is going to work. So, I would very much appreciate it if you didn't say any thing about this to anyone. Okay?"

"That's fine with me. I mean, I understand how you feel." Ignoring the hurt look on Tom's face she went on. "This is a small ship and if anyone found out that you were dating and they didn't know who it was, a betting pool will start up on who the person was. If you don't want to bring her to dinner tomorrow night, that's okay. But don't hide her from us forever Harry. We are your best friends."

Harry shared a look with Tom when B'Elanna said 'her'. Both he and Tom knew that he was dating a man, but Tom knew that Harry didn't want anyone to know that. At least not yet. "Thanks B'Elanna. It's nice to have friends who care enough not to ask to many questions. Anyway, about tomorrow night. Is it alright if I came by myself?"

Nodding, the three friends arranged to met the next night for dinner in Tom's quarters. Soon after B'Elanna that excused herself to go to engineering before going onto her own quarters. As soon as she walked through the holo deck doors, Tom looked at Harry. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Tom spoke up. "So you told him how you felt about him. How long have you been dating?"

Knowing that Tom would be hurt, no matter what he said, he went with the truth. "For several weeks now. Ever since I gave you my decision about not wanting to have a sexual relationship with you."

"Fuck! You couldn't even wait a while before you told him how you felt? Exactly how long did you wait after you gave me your answer?" Tom was pissed and with reason. He had laid out his feeling for Harry, and Harry had said thanks, but no thanks. He had told Tom that he was interested in someone else but Tom hadn't believed him. Now he knew the truth.

Harry now avoided Tom's eyes out of shame. "It was the same night."

"Fuck! What, you couldn't wait a day for me to lick my wounds? I thought you would at least give me enough time to get used to the idea of you dating some else."

"I am sorry Tom. The opportunity was there in front of me and I wasn't going to let it go. I had already waited to long as it was." Harry shoved a hand through his hair, unstyling it. "And don't think that I don't know about you and B'Elanna. You certainly got over your feelings for me quickly enough. But it was as I said, we have other people in our lives that we wanted, and that was no way to start a relationship. Even if I did feel that way towards you. Which I don't."

Tom laughed, unhappily. "That's right Harry. Kick a man while he is down. But don't worry about it any longer Har. I've got B'Elanna now and even if you did come crawling to me on your knees, begging me to take you as my lover, I wouldn't want you. You have proved your loyalty toward me, or lack of it, just fine so far." Tom stood up and stepped towards the door but stopped to lean down to whisper in Harry's ear. "You had better uninvite yourself for tomorrow night, because at this moment, I just want to smack you in the face. And I know that I am going to feel this way for a while. So ...just...stay...away...from...me!" Then he was gone, leaving Harry in the chair shaking.

For several long minutes, Harry sat there, knowing that he had just distorted one of the best friendships he had ever had. Blinking back the tears, he stood and walked out of the holodeck. He was so upset, that he didn't realize he had walked past Chakotay who had been watching the exchange from a safe distance. After a minute, he excused himself. He left the holodeck and made his way to Harry's quarters.

Keying in Harry's door code, he entered the dark room. Seeing a light coming from the bedroom, he made his way to the door way. Harry was on the bed, resting against the headboard with a pillow held in front of himself. Catching Harry eyes he lifted an eyebrow in question. Smiling weakly, Harry held out a hand. Joining him on the bed, Chakotay pulled his lover against his chest.

They sat like that for several quite minutes, until Chakotay asked the question they both didn't want to hear. "What happened between you and Tom just know?"

Closing his eyes, Harry turned into the commander. "I just lost my best friend. And all within five minutes." Looking up into Chakotay's eyes, he pleaded. "I don't want to talk about it just yet. Just make me forget. Make me forget about what lays outside that door."

Feeling Harry's pain as if it were it his own, Chakotay lowered his head to the ensigns waiting lips. They both knew that this was a pleasant way to forget, but it didn't make the pain go away. Only time did that.

Within minutes Harry and Chakotay had both forgotten about Tom, lost in each others arms. But after they had made slow love, Chakotay held Harry as he cried out his pain. The first officer vowed there and then, holding his naked lover against his chest, that he would give Tom and Harry one week to sort out their relationship. If they didn't resolve their problem before the end of that week, then he would personally sort Tom out. No one hurt his lover. No one.

Six days later a tense Ensign Kim was working at his console, when it exploded with a loud bang and a flash of fire. Harry was thrown back into the wall behind him like a doll. His head hit the wall with a hard thud that was heard by everyone on the bridge. Then before Chakotay could get to him, he fell forward, hitting his head again on what was left of the console. Catching him before he hit the floor, the first officer didn't even notice when the Captain ordered an emergency beamout to sickbay.

He was only aware that he was holding his bleeding, unconscious lover in his arms, and that he hadn't made Harry talk to Tom yet. With that thought bouncing around in his mind he stood back as the doctor took over. He blocked out what the doctor was saying, only knowing that he had let Harry down.

With eyes glued to the still figure of his lover, Chakotay let what the doctor was saying penetrate his pain filled mind.

"If we don't stop this bleeding, we are going to lose him."

Nooooo!