I Couldn’t Handle It….

by Tanith

ardethsmistress@hotmail.com

Disclaimers – I own no-one Shane does.

Rating – NC17

Pairing – Frank/Cody

Summery – Happens after the first shooting in ‘Manhunt’



I Couldn’t Handle It….
by Tanith

It was over, at least this one was. Frank had shot the man in the back of the head as he held a man hostage. He had had no choice, the man was a white supremacist and the hostage was a Native American and there was no way he was going to give him up. But Frank hated doing it, killing someone this way.

As the windshield broke and the man slumped forward, he felt sick but quickly pulled himself together before anyone noticed. But it was too late, Alex noticed. In fact she thought for a second that Frank was going to pass out, even in the light from the torches and helicopter, she could see the color drain from his face. He walked over and the chief of police came up and shook his hand.

“Good work Mr Donavan, one down, three to go” he said.

Frank and the others walked away and drove back to the office. There were three other men who had broken out of jail together and had to be caught.

“You go up, won’t be long” said Frank.

Alex went upstairs and left Frank going into the washroom. Jake had stopped off to pick up some reports and wouldn’t be back till tomorrow.

“That worked out well” said Cody as they came in “Where’s Frank and Jake?”

Alex told him and then added.

“Cody, go down and see if Frank is okay. I think this shooting really got to him”

“No way, if you want to see if he is okay, you go. We don’t get on that well lately” replied Cody “Anyway everything gets to Frank lately”

“Oh for Gods sake, you still holding a grudge because you have to stay here all the time…okay, I’ll go but I was going to get a pizza” said Alex.

Cody raised his hands in the air and said he would go and see. Anyway, she couldn’t really go in the mens washroom. He wasn’t looking forward to it thought, Frank had made it clear that he didn’t like people nosing into his business. But this was different, Alex had seemed really worried, more than usual.

This wasn’t the first time Frank had seemed upset over a shooting but he hadn’t said why. Cody went down and as he passed the gym, he heard a noise and looking through the door, he saw Frank taking it out on a punch bag. He opened the door and stood there for a moment.

“Frank…you hit that much harder, you’ll have it off the ceiling” he said.

“What do want Cody?” asked Frank.

“Look this wasn’t my idea, Alex was worried about you after the shooting”

Frank continued to punch the bag and speak at the same time.

“None…of her…business…or yours, I’m fine…just leave me alone. Just get on with that information so we can find the other three men”

“Yeah, get on with the information Cody….do this Cody…stay here Cody…I am sick of it Frank. Everyone jumps to your tune and when all we do is ask if you are okay, you jump down our throats”

“Get out Cody…just leave it” said Frank.

Cody was angry now, it had been building up for a while and this seemed the ideal opportunity or not, to say something. He shut the door and locked it behind him, Frank was going to hear him out and not walk out on him like he normally did.

“No you leave it Frank… just who the hell do you think you are, apart from the boss. We work for you, we put our lives on the line for you, everything and more and what do we get in return, nothing. Just moods, orders, the occasional thanks. You were as white as a sheet after that shooting and Alex was worried about you, I don’t know why she bothered, why any of us bother” said Cody angrily.

Frank looked really mad and walked to the door and tried to open it but found it locked, he swung round at Cody.

“Open this door, damn you…you have no right to lock it…I have nothing to say to you”

“No Frank, we are going to have this out…I am sick of being your lacky, being stuck in the office while you lot have all the action. I locked the door so you couldn’t do exactly what you are trying to do, walk away…again”

“Come on Cody, unlock this door or I might do something we will both regret, I am not fooling”

Cody was beginning to regret starting this but he couldn’t back down now and he was quite capable of taking Frank on.

“Come on then Frank…let’s have this out once and for all” said Cody

Frank lunged at Cody and the pair of them went flying across the room, suddenly fists were flying and kicks, both of them good at the martial arts. After a few minutes.

“You had enough” gasped Frank

“No way…you?”

Cody punched Frank hard and sent him over the top of the wooden horse where he landed against the wall. Winded Frank tried to get up but Cosy was on top of him, punching him out. Suddenly Frank pushed him off and with a kick sent him across the room. For a couple of minutes they dodged out of the way of each other when Cody swung round and kicked Frank in the chest, sending him through some equipment that was just behind him. This time Frank didn’t get up so quick.

“Come on Frank…get up and finish this” said Cody ready for him.

Frank didn’t move and Cody carefully walked closer, he knew Frank, this could be a ploy so that when he got close, he jumped on him. But there was no movement at all. Suddenly it dawned on Cody that Frank was out of it. he was worried himself now, maybe he had gone too far. He moved some of the stuff and knelt beside his boss.

It looked like Frank had hit his head on one of the bowling balls and was unconscious. Cody jumped up and ran to the shower area, got a cloth wrung out with cold water and brought it back and place dit on the mans head.

“Frank…come on wake up…please” he said.

Slowly the mans eyes flicked open and he tried to sit up, but held his head.

“Take it easy, you knocked yourself out…let me help” said Cody.

He helped Frank up and over to the chair in the corner and sat him down. The man looked pale and his lip was bleeding and he had a bruise appearing over his eye.

“You okay…I’m sorry…I think this went too far” Cody told him.

“Yeah, I think it did…ow…my head” he said holding it.

He was still seeing stars and the room spun a bit. Cody gave him a glass of water as the man took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry Frank…look maybe you should have a shower, you’ll feel better. I’m going to”

Cody stood up to go into the shower leaving Frank sitting there, still holding his head. The man had been right of course…he had become moody lately and he really didn’t know why. It had come to a head in a way that night, when he had no choice but to shoot the man in the back of the head.
About three months ago Frank had broken up with his lover…a man…called James or Jim as he came to know him. He had been part of the FBI section and they had met about four years ago. Neither had know that the other was gay until they went for a drink one night. One thing led to another and they had been together up until recently.

Then someone in the FBI office had seen them in a gay bar, on the other side of town and reported them. Well reported Jim and he had been fired. That was the start of a downhill slide for their relationship. Jim blamed Frank and Frank in turn couldn’t handle the mans moods. They had many rows and Frank found he was taking his problems to work. Something had to give and one night, Jim left a letter for him to say that he was leaving, going to New York and that was that, no personal goodbye, nothing.

Frank was terribly upset but couldn’t tell anyone as nobody at his office even knew that he was gay let alone had a long term lover. But he had been taking it out on them and he knew it but didn’t know how to stop himself…until tonight when Cody stood up to him. That in itself took some guts and he was proud of Cody although he would never tell him that.

He stood up to go in the shower but felt so dizzy that he had to sit down again, that knock on the head must have been worse than he thought. He would have to ask Cody to help him into the shower, he couldn’t leave looking like he did. The man came out about ten minutes later, wondering why Frank was still sitting there.

“Thought you were coming in after me” he said.

“I stood up to come in and felt so dizzy I had to sit down. I do need a shower… but I think I need your help, I have a feeling this is mild concussion…not a good idea to be left alone, as much as I would rather” said Frank.

Cody felt really guilty now, maybe he had gone too far. Putting his towel down he helped Frank to his feet and into the shower room, where he waited just outside the door while the man showered. I guessed he would have to run him home as well, he shouldn’t drive like that. A while later, Frank came out, holding onto the door. His head thumped and he still felt a little dizzy although not as bad.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home, you can’t…have to pick your car up in the morning” said Cody.

“I’ll get a cab…no problem”

“No chance, not this time of night. Won’t take me long and then I can get on with that information you want ready for tomorrow” replied Cody.

Frank nodded and before they went out of the door, he stopped the man.

“Look Cody…for what it’s worth, I’m sorry and I don’t blame you for what you did tonight. If it hadn’t been you it would have been someone else, eventually”

“Don’t worry about it…I think I surprised myself anyway…think yourself lucky, it could have been Jake…he takes no prisoners” the man said with a smile.

Frank held onto the wall as he walked to Cody’s car and got in. a good night sleep and he would be fine…he hoped. He didn’t think his not eating properly had helped matters at all but he didn’t mention that. What he would have to do was explain to Cody what was going on. He really felt he could trust him enough to tell him. Besides he didn’t really have a choice, he could lie but he didn’t want to do that, lies always backfire.

As they drove, neither said anything. Frank was feeling bad again, as he watched the road, everything kept blurring and he leaned back against the head rest…that was the last he remembered. Cody pulled up outside Franks apartment and told him they were there, then got out. When he didn’t get any response from the man, he opened the door, assuming he had fallen asleep.

“Frank…we’re here…come on wake up” he said.

Still no response, so he shook him gently and the man just keeled over onto the other seat.

“Oh Shit...Frank…Frank” he called trying to wake him.

Pulling him over he managed to get him out of the car and over his shoulder, then he carried him up to his apartment, let himself in and laid Frank on the bed. He knew a bit of first-aid and checked to see if he needed to call a doctor but decided that the man would be okay. He got him undressed and put him to bed and was about to leave when he stopped and thought about it for a moment. What if he left him and there were any problems later, he couldn’t live with that. So shutting the door again, he went into the kitchen and after finding the stuff, made himself a sandwich and a coffee and took them back into the bedroom. He pulled up a armchair and made himself comfortable….it was going to be a long night. He still had no idea what all this was about, maybe Frank would tell him eventually and make some sense of the fight they had had.

It was about 2am when Frank woke up and had to focus to realize where he was. Then he saw Cody asleep in the chair. As he wondered what he was doing there, the events of the previous night came back to him. He didn’t feel dizzy now and sat up in bed, noticing that he was undressed. He reached over and tapped Codys knee. The man jumped.

“Frank…what is it…you okay?” he said quickly.

“I think so…at least I feel better than earlier…what happened, the last I remember is having a shower, what are you doing asleep in my chair?” said Frank.

“I drove you home and you passed out in the car. I had to bring you up here but thought it best if I stayed just in case you had problems…you know…concussion” said Cody “Want a coffee or anything?”

“Well if you know where the stuff is, thank you” said Frank going to the bathroom.

When he came back in, Cody was putting the coffee on the bedside cabinet.

“So Frank, what was all this about tonight and the past few weeks…are you going to tell me…or you still going to be secretive about what’s bothering you” asked Cody.

Frank drank his coffee and looked across at the man. Taking a deep breath.

“Look if I tell you, you have got to promise that you won’t repeat it to a living soul, or we could both end up with no job…oh and please don’t judge me too harshly or condemn me, that’s all I ask of you” Frank said.

“Of course, you should know me by now Frank, I never condemn anyone unless they shit on me”

Frank told him everything, Jim, their relationship, the breakup, and why he had been like a bear with a sore head the past few weeks. Cody then surprised Frank.

“Frank, if I had known that this was the reason, maybe I could have been there for you to talk to. I knew about Jim, a long time ago, when you first became our boss” he said.

“What…how…how on earth did you find out?” said Frank shocked.

“I did a profile on you…wanted to know who we were getting, what your hang-ups were and if you were going to be any good. Don’t forget who was our boss before. But when the others asked what I had found out about you, I told them, leaving out everything about your relationship with Jim. They didn’t need to know any of that. So I have known since the day you walked into the office, but I didn’t know you two weren’t together any more…sorry”

Frank couldn’t believe it, all this time and he could have confided in Cody and maybe not had so many problems.

“What was he like…do you want to talk about it?” asked Cody “I’m here”

Frank looked at him and started to tell him all about Jim, what they liked to do, places they went and their relationship up till he walked out on him.

“I couldn’t believe that after all that time, he was gone and I couldn’t handle it. I loved him so much and thought he loved me, at least enough to ride the storm but he couldn’t. I would come to work not wanting to think about it and then something would happen to remind me and I would take it out on you lot without realizing I was doing it, until tonight, when you made me see it. When I got home I would end up in tears because I missed him so much”

“You should have said something, somehow and then it wouldn’t have got to this stage. So what happened last night, Alex said you went as white as a sheet and she thought you were going to pass out” said Cody.

“Oh god, I didn’t think anyone noticed. The man we, I, had to kill, he looked so much like Jim, his hair was longer but I suddenly felt like I had shot Jim, just for a split second, I could see him and then I was okay”

“Do you still love him?” asked Cody

“I still think about him a lot, yes I still love him…I”

Frank didn’t finish the sentence and Cody suddenly saw tears fall from the mans eyes as he must have remembered something. Cody asked him but Frank couldn’t answer. Taking the bull by the horns so to speak, Cody got up and sat beside the man and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay…I’m here whenever you need me, just remember that” he said.

“If I asked you to do something, totally out of the ordinary…would you do it?” asked Frank softly “If you say no I will completely understand”

“I don’t know, probably…depends what it was” said Cody cautiously.

“Would you…would you hold me, I need to know, just once that someone is there for me, it’s been so long…just for a minute” said Frank

Cody wasn’t sure about this, he was nervous but he could see the man needed comfort and after knocking him out, he thought he was the least he could do.

He moved closer and put his arm round the mans shoulder, Frank leaned against him, nothing more and Cody felt his breathing level off a bit. But there was a problem. As Cody held him, he felt something inside, a warm, glowy sort of feeling and he found himself running his other hand through Franks hair while offering a few words of comfort to him. But this was getting dangerous, he couldn’t believe it but he found himself wanting the man he was holding, he was getting turned on by him, getting hard. If he didn’t move in a minute things could get out of hand. He tried to fight the feelings but they were overtaking him rapidly.

Frank could feel the man getting restless and thought it best if he moved away, he didn’t want to make Cody feel uncomfortable. He looked up at the man to say thank you but this simple move gave Cody the opportunity that he had been fighting for the past few minutes. Placing a hand gently on the mans face, he leant over and kissed him, just fleetingly but enough for Frank to realize what was happening.

“Cody…what was that for?” asked Frank “Not that I mind of course”

Cody came to his senses, got up and fled to the bathroom. Once inside he shut the door, trying to understand what and why he had just done what he did. He had just kissed Frank Donovan and he wasn’t really gay. He felt hot and sat down trying to compose himself before he went back out there and faced the man. He found that he was really hard and he stroked himself through his jeans, he needed release but couldn’t do it there. There was the other alternative, let Frank do it for him…no what was he thinking, that was madness, but the more he thought about it the more he wanted the man laying in the bed next door.

Frank was wondering why the man had kissed him, it was totally out of the blue and not unwelcome. Then he had disappeared as though he was embarrassed. Could it be possible that Cody was getting turned on by him, but he wasn’t gay or was he. He had kept things secret about his sexual preferences maybe Cody did to, maybe that was why he hadn’t been shocked when he found out about him and Jim. Just then he heard the bathroom door open and Cody came out but he could see that he was hard, it showed up quite well in those tight jeans.

“You alright Cody?” he asked

“Fine” replied Cody walking round the bed to the chair.

“Need some help with anything?” asked Frank.

Cody turned round and looked at him and saw that the man had a smile on his face and was holding his hand out to him. For a minute he stood there, not knowing what to do and then he walked forward and took the hand offered. He was pulled gently onto the bed and Frank returned the kiss given to him a few minutes earlier.

Cody responded and pushed his tongue against the mans lips, which parted to allow access. He moaned into the kiss as Frank gently bit it as it explored his mouth. The man was getting harder and he pushed against the man who reached down and undid the jeans and pushed his hand inside.

“Ahhhh…oh God” gasped Cody.

“Take them off Cody, let me touch you properly” whispered Frank.

The man stood up and quickly took his shoes, socks and jeans off, then pulled off his jumper and returned to the bed and Frank. The man pushed him onto his back and sucked his nipples while his hand stroked him gently.

“Do you want to go the whole way?” Frank asked him.

There was no way he would take advantage if the man didn’t really want to go too far.

“It will be my first time but I want it all Frank…please” gasped Cody

“I’ll be gentle I promise but you will enjoy it all”

Frank moved down and licked up the side of the mans cock, causing him to buck wildly so that Frank had to hold onto his hips as he lowered his mouth over the hard member. Cody had never felt such pleasure, even when a woman had done it, he never felt like this. He couldn’t hang on any longer and screamed Franks name as he came, the man taking it all.

“Move onto your stomach” said Frank.

Cody did as he was asked, his cock still twitching from the orgasm. Frank told him to lift up a bit and he put a pillow under him. Then reaching over to the bedside cabinet, he took out some oil and poured it over the mans arse, letting it run down the crack.

“I am going to enter you, it might hurt a bit at first but just try and relax” the man said.

Making sure his fingers were oily he placed one against Cody and pushed inside. The man was tight and he felt him tense up. Gently pushing in further, he encouraged him to relax, rubbing his spine with his other hand. After the initial pain, Cody felt fullness and pushed against the mans finger. As he did this, the tip of Franks finger brushed his prostrate and he gasped. The feeling was incredible, no-one had ever done that to him before and he wanted more.

“More Frank, I need more” he gasped gripping the sheets.

“Take it slowly, we have the rest of the night, I don’t want to hurt you” Frank replied.

“Don’t care…please oh please”

The man was begging him, so he inserted two more fingers and moved a little faster. He was still so tight but as he relaxed he became more supple. The more Frank pushed in the more the man pushed back, begging for more. Soon Frank had four fingers inside Cody and was fucking him hard. The man was moaning loudly and gripping the sheets till his knuckles were white.

Frank took his fingers out and felt the man sigh but he was soon pushing back as the man positioned his cock and entered him. It was larger than his fingers but Cody wanted it and showed Frank just how much.

“Harder…please harder…want you…oh God. That’s it” gasped Cody

He was losing it and Frank could feel it. Cody was on fire with the feelings this man was giving him. Never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined how this would feel. He couldn’t get enough and pushed back hard in rhythm with Frank.

“Cum for me Cody…touch yourself and cum for me” said Frank.

Cody reached under him and stroked his again hardened cock, he was close, suddenly Frank tensed and shouted his name as he filled him with his seed. That was all it took, Cody came, long and hard. He could hear himself shouting Franks name, telling him not to stop, then he felt himself falling, deeper and deeper into blackness.

Frank stayed where he was till he finished cuming, then withdrew and collapsed on the bed. As his breathing came down a bit he looked over at Cody, the man hadn’t moved so Frank moved up to check on him.

“Cody…Cody you okay?” he said softly.

There was no answer and turning the mans face so he could see it, realized that he had blacked out, his breathing erratic. Getting off the bed, Frank went to the bathroom and got a cloth then placed it on the mans forehead as he turned him over. He was a bit worried in case he had hurt the man. A few minutes later the mans eyes opened and he looked up at Frank and smiled.

“Frank…oh God that was fantastic, never felt anything like that before” he said.

“You sure you are alright, I didn’t hurt you” asked Frank.

“No not really, a bit painful but it was worth it. I am glad I kissed you” he said.

“So am I but you are the last person I thought would go through with this. Why?”

“I don’t know, it wasn’t my intention, furthest thing from my mind until you asked me to hold you. The feelings just took over and I needed you so badly, it hurt” replied Cody “But what about Jim, everything you said before…”

“Jim is history, I have to accept that. When you kissed me it brought me to earth with a bump, up till then I’d been obsessed with him coming back, which he isn’t going to do. Come here, kiss me again Cody” he said.

The kisses this time were more subtle, more passionate and soon they were asleep in each others arms. Not even thinking about tomorrow or what it would bring, just what they had at that moment.


end