Fic: "Rapid Rabbits"

by S

Challenge story

Takes place after "Return of the Phantom"

Riley/Sharkey

*May be taken with a grain of salt if necessary.*

Rapid Rabbits

by S

Crewman Stu Riley straightened his red jumper before knocking on the door to Admiral Nelson's office. He had been told to report there by the Exec, but had not been informed of the reason. Since he was expecting a promotion and a raise, the summons was not a total surprise however.

Entering, he found the red-haired scientist sitting at his desk, a grim look upon his face. "You wanted to see me, Sir?" the young man inquired.

The Admiral sighed deeply before he picked up a piece of paper, twisting it in his hands. "Riley, I have been informed that you and Chief Sharkey are. . .are involved."

Riley's face paled and he gulped before answering, "Uh, well, I, uh. . . ."

"So it's true?"

"Yes, sir," he reluctantly admitted.

"Did he coerce you in any way?"

"No, Sir. I, well, I guess maybe we shouldn't have, but we're both old enough and I . . . ." He stopped as if to consider his next words. "Sir, we're in the 60's now. I believe in free love and
trying all kinds of things to pleasure myself and well, the Chief was willing and. . . ."

Nelson slammed a fist on the desk. "Enough! I don't need to hear the details! What I want to know is do you intend to keep on doing this?"

"Depends on the Chief!"

"Seaman Riley!" The redhead flinched as the sound of Riley's rank reached his ears. "Riley, I am not against same-sex relationships, but I will not have the safety of this boat compromised."

"Aw, we never. . .well, I was always off-duty when we did it and I didn't think anybody saw us behind those missile silos."

"You did it in the missile room?" Nelson asked incredulously.

"Once or twice, but mostly onshore."

The stocky man's head sunk into his hands. "Riley, you have served capably, but I must tell you that I will not have this continue. Do you understand?"

A downhearted look entered the young man's eyes. "Yessir, but I guess it doesn't matter now anyway 'cause I'm not sure I like being on a hunk of metal where you gotta be scared every minute. I've gotta enough money now to go back to competitive surfing."

"I see. If that's your decision, I'll have the papers terminating your service drawn up. If you need a recommendation, see my secretary. Dismissed."

Riley almost gave a salute, but decided against it. As he departed, he started whistling "Surfin' USA"--loudly.

Fifteen minutes later, there was another knock on the office door. Chief Francis Ethelbert Sharkey entered to take his place in front of the Admiral's desk. "You wanted to see me, Sir?"

"Sit down, Chief. There is something I need to talk to you about."

"Yes, Sir. If this about me tryin' to take on that nutball Lang. . . ."

"It is not about that although that was not a smart move on your part!"

"No, Sir." Sharkey hung his head. The Exec had already raked him over the coals for nearly blowing up the world with his stupidity.

"What I want to talk to you about is the information which I have just received. To put it bluntly, someone has accused you of "going at it like rabbits" with Seaman. . .er. . . Stu Riley."

Sharkey's mouth began to flap open and shut. "I. . .I well, that is. . . ."

"There's no point in denying it, Chief. Riley has already confessed that he believes in free love."

"Free?" the sweating man blurted out. "It cost me a hundred bucks!"

Nelson's blue eyes opened wide as he stammered, "You. . .you p-paid for it?"

Sharkey nodded unhappily. "Guess I should have stuck with Thompson. He only asked fifty, but. . . ."

"Chief! I do not want to hear about your ventures into illicit sex! Why don't you find someone who's willing to do it for free?" Nelson clenched his lips together. "I mean, why don't you find
someone for companionship?"

"Would you date me, Sir?"

"Chief, how dare you!"

"No, no, Sir. That didn't come out right. I just meant, well, it ain't easy meeting someone when I'm always on duty and I never dared to try when I was in the Navy."

The Admiral rubbed his hand through his disheveled hair. "Chief, I'm sure you could find someone who is not a part of the crew. You just need to. . .to relax and not come on so strong!"

"Yes, Sir. Riley said the same thing since it only took us five minutes from beginning to end."

Exasperated, Nelson tried again. "Chief, you have many fine qualities, but I really cannot have this kind of thing going on while you're on my boat. . .Behind the missile silos for heaven's sakes!"

Sharkey's eyes flickered, "Uh, he didn't say anything about the ballast tanks access?. . .I mean, of course not, Sir. It won't ever happen again! I'll stick to my right hand, er, I mean I'll find a socially
acceptable way to release my sexual tension!" The Chief had read that phrase in a magazine and it did have a nice ring to it.

"All right. If you give me your word that you will not become. . .involved with a crew member, there will be no further action, except for a month's loss of pay. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes, Sir!" I really appreciate this, Sir. I can promise you no more crew members, especially since Clark Newgot kicked off the boat."

"Clark New?"

"Ooops! That was a long time ago. Never again, I promise!"

"Chief, I must say I am rather disappointed about this whole thing, but I hope you have learned a valuable lesson."

"Absolutely, Sir! You won't regret giving me this second chance."

"Very well. Dismissed."

Giving a sigh of relief, Sharkey departed the office. **Wonder what Harker's doing tonight?**

At his desk Nelson could only shake his head. **Next time I'm going to let Mr. Morton handle this kind of thing.**

THE END