Title:Spank The Monkey

Author/pseudonym:R.A. Swain

Fandom:X-Files

Paring: Spender/Mulder

Rating:Mature Audience

Status: New 8/14/99

Archive: Yes, please. You have my permission to archive.

Series/Sequel: The Lounge Series

Disclaimers: The characters are not my property. They are used without permission, and are used for the sole intent of entertainment and not for profit. Note other disclaimers at beginning of story.

Notes: Maybe Spender has too much time on his hands.

Summary: Spender punishes a "bad FBI agent".

Warnings: None noted

Spank The Monkey
By R.A. Swain

Jeffery Spender glared at the ringing phone, sitting on the edge of the desk once belonging to Fox Mulder. It had awakened him from a rather nice dream and he wasn't happy. He grabbed the receiver off the hook. "Spender," he said.

"Hello Jeffy Boy."

"Who is this?"

"You want me, I know it."

"Who...Mulder, is that you?" Spender lost some of his annoyance. This was obviously one of Mulder's little paybacks for taking over the X-Files.

"What makes you think it's Mulder?"

"Mulder, it sounds like you, with a voice distorter," Spender replied. He shook his head. How sad Fox had become, he thought.

"So you're saying you want Mulder?"

"Mulder, knock it off. If you don't I'll give you what for."

"Big words, Big Spender. Just how big are you?"

"Big enough...What are you up to?"

"I've been bad, Jeffy Boy."

"You're telling me?!"

"Come to the Comadore Hotel tonight at eight pm, room twenty-two. I'll be there, and I'll bring the handcuffs."

The phone went dead in Spender's hand. He replaced the receiver and adjusted his tightening crotch. This was all one of Mulder's schemes to get back at him, he just knew it had to be a Mulder scheme. There couldn't be anything more to it, he thought. He'd show up at the Comadore Hotel ant eight pm, knock on the door of room twenty-two, and some old lady would answer and shout 'Masher' like in the Bugs Bunny cartoons. Mulder would be hiding around the corner and get a good laugh out of it.

But, his other mind said to him, what if it isn't a scheme. What if it isn't Mulder? What if it is something more exciting than those goofy X-Files Mulder held so dear? There was only one way to find out, and if it was an old lady, he'd flash a badge and rely on FBI as a powerful deterrant to screaming.

He left early for his appointment.

A slight sweat covered his upper lip as he approached room twenty-two. He stood before the door and held his hand up to knock. Go on, he thought, pound on that door. Get this over with.

He gently tapped on the door with one knuckle. The door opened.

"Alright Mulder, it is you. What are you up to?"

Fox Mulder ushered him into the room and closed the door. "Nice to see you, Jeffy Boy."

"Don't call me that."

"Why not, Jeffery?" Mulder placed a hand on Spender's shoulder, and allowed it to drift down the front of his suit jacket, coming to a stop on his chest.

Spender grabbed Mulder's hand and held it where it was. "What are you up to, Mulder?"

"Nothing, I've just been a bad FBI agent, and I need someone to take me in hand. Someone with your strong, ruggedly handsome looks, and a toned...body." Mulder ran his tongue over his lips, moistening them. "Are you FBI enough to handle me?"

Spender almost laughed, but the look in Mulder's eyes told him he was serious. Spender felt his lips in need of moistening as well, and ran his tongue over them. He released Mulder's hand and instead grabbed Mulder by the tie and pulled him forward, bringing their lips together. His tongue fought it's way roughly into Mulder's mouth. Mulder surrendered easily, as he always
knew he would.

Spender enjoyed ravaging Mulder's mouth with his tongue. It was something he'd fantasized about since the day of their first meeting, although he never thought it would happen like this.

He broke their kiss and took a deep breath. "Mulder, you have been a bad FBI agent, and there is only one way for you to make up for it," he said.

Mulder sank to his knees before Spender and reached for the fly before him. Spender grabbed Mulder's hand. "Later for that. I want you to strip yourself first."

Mulder stood up and looked into Spender's eyes as he began removing his clothing. Spender took off his own jacket, and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a sparcely hairy chest, but mildly defined for someone with his physique. He undid his belt and removed it. He never took his eyes off Mulder as he stripped down to those damned sexy black silk boxers. "Those too," he
gestured to the shorts.

Mulder slipped the boxers down and held his hands in front of himself, attempting to cover himself. Spender grabbed his hands and pulled them away. "That's better. Show me everything. You have nothing to hide from me. I'm taking you in hand," he said.

Spender sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for Mulder to come stand before him. When Mulder was by his side, he grabbed his arm and pulled him down across his lap. Mulder gasped with pleasure and Jeffery brought his firm hand down against Mulder's soft round ass for the first time with a loud WHACK!

"Oh, God, Jeffery! Yes! Spank me!" Mulder cried out.

Jeffery let loose all his pent-up hostility towrd Mulder, slamming his palm against the soft skin, watching it turn crimson, feeling Mulder wither in a combination of pain and pleasure. He knew pleasure was involved for both of them since he could feel Mulder's erection rubbing against his own through his pants. He was glad this was a freeballing day. It gave him more flexibility.

Mulder moaned with pleasure with each swat of Spender's hand. "Oh Jeffery! I'm going to cum soon."

Spender stopped. He lovingly caressed Mulder's burning ass, and then stood him up. He moved to Mulder's side. "Take my pants off," he ordered.

Mulder did as he was told, opening the waist button and tugging down the fly. Now Spender stood in only his white cotton shirt, now fully unbuttoned, revealing a taunt, toned body he knew Mulder hadn't expected. "Thought I was soft, didn't you?"

"There's nothing soft about you, Jeffery," Mulder replied, as Spender gently pushed him to his knees.

"Show me how bad an FBI agent you can be," Spender said. "Be extra bad for me Mulder, and I'll give you something special in that hot ass of yours. I give you my Spender Special."

"Your what?"

"Huh?"

"You'll give me your what?"

Spender shook his head and sat up in his chair. "Mulder, I....."

"I'm sorry to bother you," Mulder said, sitting in the edge of what used to be his desk. "I needed a form signed by you, and well, you were talking in your sleep."

Jeffery choaked and reached for a half empty can of diet Sprite sitting in the desk, knocking the can over. He fumbled for it. "I don't talk in my sleep. I mean, I wasn't asleep."

"Sorry, didn't mean to imply otherwise," Mulder said. "Could you sign this form, so I can get back to my meanial life?"

Spender grabbed the form and scribbled his name on it. "What was I saying?"

"When?"

"Just now, in my sleep."

Mulder looked away for a moment. "Something about giving someone a Spender Special."

Spender felt his cheeks burn red. "Mulder, I, er, that is...."

"Jeff, don't worry. I'm not going to spread that around the office. You may think I'm a bad FBI agent, but I'm not out to embarass you." Mulder took the form from Spender who just stared at him.

"Did you say 'bad FBI agent'?"

"Yeah."

"How much did you hear?"

Mulder allowed his lips to curl up at the corners. "Not much, Jeffy Boy. And if that tent in your trousers is any indication of a Spender Special, I'll be back with another form later."

Spender glanced down at his lap and then back at the doorway. Mulder was gone. Had he really been there at all? Was it all just a cruel dream? Maybe Mulder had hypnotized him, and was torturing him with perverse sexual fantasies? Maybe Mulder was trying to make himself into an X-File?

Spender was startled by the ringing of the phone. He grabbed the receiver. "Spender."

"Hello, Jeffy Boy!"

Spender dropped the receiver.