Title: An Unexpected Gift 2

Author: Arpia & Mayhem

Rating: I suck at ratings so let it be a pg13 just to be sure

Disclaimer: Not mine, saad, but true.

Archive: Lu, if you'll have it...

Feedback: Oh please... pretty please!

SPECIAL THANKS: To Tarch, for being such a wonderful (and i mean W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L) beta and for puttin' up with my oh-not-so-good computer skills (love ya).



An Unexpected Gift 2: The other side of the coin
By Arpia & Mayhem

Remy's POV

When I told Logan what Sinister had done to me, I expected a violent reaction, instead he cried like a baby. I know it hurts him to know what that psycho did to me, but I also know my betrayal hurts him even more.

"So, you think `cause you're not able to carry a baby, you can experiment on me without my permission?!"

As soon as those words left his lips I felt a pang in my heart

"Logan, I'm so sorry."

"Don't… don't even think that with a sorry everything can be fixed. You know where I came from, you know about Weapon X, you know what they did ta me and still you set me up. You let Hank use me as his guinea pig."

"I didn't ..."

"Save it, I don't want this, and I don't care what you feel. After all, you didn't care about how *I* felt."

He hopped off the table and pushed me away, and as he reached the door he turned to look at me. "I thought you loved me." The hurt in his voice and the sadness in his eyes was unbearable, and he opened the door and walked out. He left me behind, feeling more alone than I've been in years.

Once I'd calmed down I went after Henry, I found him in the den sipping from a mug. "Hank, Logan's made up his mind, can you set up a date for you to fix the mess I got him in?"

"Remy... you didn't ask him about the procedure, did you?"

I shook my head, a mixture between sadness and anger could be read on his face. "Sit down."

I sat opposite him.

"Listen, if I had known Logan didn't agree to the procedure, I would have never had performed the experiment on him. It was unethical, and you've put me in an awkward position. If you ever take advantage of my trust again, it will be the last time I promise you," the big man said, with disappointment and just a hint of steel in his tone. He looked sad. He paused a moment, and when he continued, he sounded resigned. "But now what's done, is done. That doesn't mean I feel less guilty, and nor should you. You must talk to him, explain him your reasons on why you did such a thing."

His heavy blue hand squeezed my shoulder, "Thanks, mon ami, I'm sorry I screwed up things and that you had to be caught up in the middle."

There was a moment of silence before his next words came. "Just a question, how did you get Logan to sign the consent form?"

I groaned inwardly. It was the question I've been dreading.

"I lied."

He looked at me while he shook his head and I could feel how disappointed he was. "You have a lot of explaining to do my friend," he got up and walked to the sink, where he put his mug.

"And apologize for." He walked out of the den leaving me, once again, alone.

All kinds of things came to my mind, but two regrets really stuck. The first one was how much I had hurt Logan with my selfish act, and the second was how I had dragged Henry into my personal actions and in the process made him feel as if he had done something wrong. As if he had put aside something as important for Henry as his Hippocratic oath.

"T' nerve you hav sometimes, Lebeu!" I muttered to myself. "Why do I hav t' do things wit'out t'inking about the ot'ers and how they feel?"

I love Logan with all my heart and soul, he's the one I've been waiting my whole life. He's the reason I get up in the morning and the person I go to at night. Still I hurt him in the worst place by betraying his trust. I need to find him and explain my reasons.

Even if they are truly selfish, he needs to know.

********

Several hours later at the Boathouse

Mon dieu!! I never thought the Canadian could be so hard to track down, specially with all the emotional burdens he has to carry.

Finally I found him, lying on his back, clutching a pillow in the boathouse living room. This place means a lot to him. Good or bad.

"Logan," I softly called to him, leaving a convenient space between us. I didn't want him to feel that I was intruding, even if I was.

He growled and tighten his grip on the pillow.

"Would y' listen to me, cher?"

"Answer me this, when you say that Henry would fix things, you meant an abortion, didn't you?" His voice, with so much pain on it, breaks a bit.

"Oui"

"Why? Why did you do it?"

I sighed. This is not going to be easy. Taking a deep breath, I settled on the couch opposite him, then I started explaining.

"I remember you sayin' how much you wanted kids, being in a relationship wit' me changed that, you couldn't. I felt so awful, 'cause I thought I took that experience away from you." I stopped to see if he was still listening.

The nod he gave encouraged me to go on. "Then I heard Henry talking to Moira, about how some scientists from Genosha had done a few experiments on male apes. The procedure worked. Then they did it with people, three male couples, all of them successful. But they were humans, not mutants. Henry asked Moira if they were accepting volunteers and I .. "

"You thought we could do it," he cut me off. I continued, "Yes, but Henry ran some tests and it turned out it couldn't be done in me. I wondered if you could carry the baby, so I asked Henry, but he said he needed your written consent."

I stopped, mainly cause I couldn't breathe, but also cause I wanted to see his reaction.

"So, you tricked me into signing the paper, and then you lied to Hank about it, is that it? Is that what you did LeBeau?"

The way he says my name, it hits me like a cold shower. The anger and disappointment he's feeling was definitely not helping. "Oui." My voice sounded so small.

"Are you done?" he rumbled.

"Non"

"Then go on, `cause when you are, it's my turn."

I sighed again. "Why I did it, you want to know that? Well, it's simple and complicated at the same time. When Poppa picked me from the street, he gave me a family, but I never felt like I truly belonged there. Even after I got here, it was because Stormy asked me to stay. I felt like it was a family of my own. People rejected me and I felt out of place."

"So I thought, with you I could have a fresh beginning. A family that I could call my own. I know I was selfish and that what I did was wrong, but… damn Logan! I love you so much it hurts. I never meant to hurt you the way I did."

For a few moments, neither of us spoke or moved. He kept holding the pillow close to his body and I was staring at an invisible spot on the floor.

"I'm done," I managed to say after I had found my voice.

My lover's once agile body, now a little heavy due to the extra life forming inside of him, sat up straight. "Well, first of all, I can't believe you did it, but you did and now we can't change it."

"Remy, I love you more than life itself, we didn't need children to prove that to each other. I never cared about that, and trust me, I knew what I was missing when we started this relationship. I also knew that I loved you and needed you."

"You have your ghosts and your demons, so do I, but I thought you were past them. Now I have to live with this decision that is gonna change our lives."

He paused to take a breath. "Hank .. he didn't know that I hadn't signed that paper. For that, I can't blame him. But you, you knew what was going to happen, you know my past and still you went on. I can't believe you. I thought I meant something more to you."

"You do!" I cried out, only to be silenced by the Wolverine 'I'm not done' look.

"A family of your own?? And what the hell am I? Just a fuck??? Someone who gets you off?? Am I only that? For fuck's sake Remy, we're lovers, companions, partners. Soulmates! We belonged to each other."

"Now, I'm left to make one of the toughest decisions in my life. Do I go on with this, knowing is going to change my life forever? Or do I try to return to my daily routine, knowing I killed a human life? Now, you tell me . what kinda punishment you think that is?"

His reasons were just as valid as any woman in the same position. I can't seem to find the right answer.

"I don' know."

"Fine, I'll have the baby, but don't you dare get in my way. Understood??"

I simply nodded, but I had to ask, "What about us? Don't you love me, need me? You said we *belonged* together. Not anymore? Cher?"

The pillow is put aside, he got to his feet and sat next to me. "I'm confused Remy, this is your fault and I never asked for you to do so."

"My fault? Oh yeah, I'm the screw up Cajun, the one who always fucks up. If there's something wrong, blame Remy, he's used to it. Is that it?"

I couldn't help if I sounded bitter, it has been the story of my life after all.

His baby blue eyes changed their expression, revealing a mixture of guilt and anger.

"No, but you brought this on yourself."

The short man, the one who has been my complement, my heart and soul, walked to the door.

"I told you I trusted you, which is something I never do. I said I loved you, which very few people can say I do, and that I needed you .. you're the only person I have ever needed, we did belong together."

"And?" I cautiously asked him, not wanting to further upset him.

"You changed that."

With those last words, he left the house and probably my life as well.

Now, how the fuck am I going to fix this??

With his head buried in his hands, the mutant known as Remy Lebeau cried.



END