Guilt's Sorrow
By Creed Cascade and TJ

Scott glared at the floor, the tint of his visor giving it a blood-soaked appearance. He thought it was appropriate, though there hadn't been much blood. The beams from his eyes tended to cauterize any flesh unlucky enough to be in their path. They had cauterized Marie's wounds, stopping the loss of blood. But that hadn't really helped with the gaping hole they left in her chest. No, that *he* left in her chest. Him. Cyclops. Leader of the X-Men. He had killed her. He hung his head, wishing not for the first time, that he could cry.

He’d gotten onto his bike and rode, ending up in New York City. He had enough money in his wallet to rent a rundown room for a week, and now he was holed up, going over the look on Rogue’s face just before she died. Marie was just a kid even though she wore the X-Men uniform. The teenager had actually cried out for her mom with her last breath.

The last breath that he had stolen from her. He hadn't meant to do it. He had been aiming at Magneto but Rogue... no, *Marie*. Marie, had somehow gotten in the way and Scott's blast took her right in the back, blowing all the way through her chest. The Professor said it wasn't his fault, but if it wasn't then whose fault was it?

He hadn’t gone out and done anything destructive. In fact, he hadn’t gone out in four days. He’d drink the rusty, smelly water from the bathroom tap, but he didn’t have the appetite to eat. He’d been the one to phone Marie’s parents and tell them their little girl was dead. They might have been afraid of her because of her mutant abilities, but they still loved her.

He hadn't faced Logan. Logan knew, of course. He'd been with them when it happened. He'd carried her body back, but he hadn't looked at Scott once. Scott thought that best, since he didn't want his death on Logan's conscience. Not that he didn't think he deserved it, but he didn't want to add to Logan's pain.

Jean was dead because of him, even though everyone said it wasn’t his fault. If he’d loved Jean enough, then she wouldn't have sacrificed herself. Marie was just another name on an ever growing list of people who’d died because of him.

<><><><><><>

"He's in New York," Xavier told Logan and Remy as they sat in his office. "I have the address. He blames himself for Marie's death, that's why he left. Nothing I say to him seems to get through. I was hoping..."

"We could bring him home," Logan finished for Xavier.

"If you'd rather not, Logan, I understand. You were very close to Marie, but after Jean's death you were the one that held him together. If you have forgiven him, maybe he can forgive himself."

"The girl was like family to me," Logan admitted. She had been more than family, she had been Logan’s friend. If she had been older, he might have considered a relationship with her. He wasn’t as dense as some people thought and knew she had had a little crush on him. It had been flattering and he’d made a resolve to look out for her. That’s why he didn’t blame Cyclops for what had gone down. He blamed himself more than anyone. He also blamed the fate that had driven the passion into her that drove all of the X-Men to fight. "I don’t blame Cyclops for this. Marie wouldn’t and she died doing what she loved. Don’t make me any less angry, but I don’t blame him."

Remy exchanged glances with Logan. Logan had loved Marie like a daughter, and her death still featured heavily in his nightmares. He felt a wave of sorrow flow from his lover at even the mention of her name. He moved his hand to Logan’s knee and gave it a short squeeze. "It’s okay, cher."

"Naw, it ain't," Logan said. "And it ain't gonna be till Cyke comes home. What happened... it wasn't his fault. We'll bring him home, Chuck. I promise."

<><><><><><>

"Dis place is a dump," Remy grumbled as they stepped into the lobby of the rundown motel. "You sure dis is da place?" Even though he could survive places like this, he preferred the better things in life.

"Yeah. I can smell his scent," Logan said. They headed up the stairs not bothering to look for an elevator. The Professor had even supplied them with his room number - 317.

The waves of sadness radiating from the room hit Remy and he had to stop for a moment. A few tears actually rolled down his cheek. "Yeah, he’s in der alright," Remy confirmed.

"You gonna be able to handle this?" Logan asked, hating to see his lover in tears.

"Yeah, Remy be okay, Scott just in so much pain," Remy told him. "He don’t feel okay."

Logan pulled him close and kissed him, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "We're gonna fix that. We're gonna bring him home. You ready?"

"Oui, Remy ready," he nodded, squeezing Logan’s hand. He then knocked on the door and called out, "Hello in der, Scotty."

Scott stiffened at the knock on the door then frowned when he recognized Gambit's voice. What the hell was the Cajun doing here? He wondered if the Professor might have sent him but he didn't think so. Remy and Logan were lovers after all, and he'd killed the man's surrogate daughter.

"C’mon now, Scotty, open da door," Remy called out again. "I’ll blast it if I gotta."

"Go away, Remy," Scott said. "Just... just go away."

Remy put his hand on the knob and concentrated until the lock exploded and blew the door open. "Told ya Remy was serious. Just wanna talk." Logan and he had talked it over and decided it was better if Remy made first contact.

"There's nothing to talk about," Scott said. His back was to the door and he didn't move when Remy came into the room. "You shouldn't be here. Logan wouldn't like it if he found out."

"Logan don’t control everythin’ dat Remy does," he told Scott. "Logan not dat bad. He’s not angry wit’ you."

"Right," Scott chuckled bitterly. "I murdered a girl he loved like a daughter and he's not angry with me? About the only thing worse I could have done would have been to kill *you* instead of Marie."

"It was an accident," Remy insisted, moving closer and crouching down next to Scott. "Here ta take ya home. Be a good boy and come with us."

"I don't have a home anymore," Scott said softly, the words sticking in his throat. "I can't go back, Remy. I ki-killed Marie. She was just a little girl... Logan's little girl... and I killed her."

Logan couldn’t stay in the hall when Scott was sounding like that. He came into the room and said, "I know it wasn’t your fault, Cyke. I was there."

Scott looked up at Logan and cringed. He shrank back from the man, his eyes darting down to Logan's hands, looking for the claws that would even the score. "L-L-Logan..." he stammered, trailing off. He wanted to tell Logan how sorry he was. Wanted to tell him he'd do *anything* to change it, to take Marie's place, but the words just wouldn't come.

"She might’ve been young, but she knew the risks of bein’ an X-Man," Logan said. It hurt to say that, but it was true. He’d tried to talk her from going out on missions, but she was adamant. She said it was her destiny to be an X-Man and she’d already almost died once, so she wasn’t afraid of dying.

"I killed her," Scott said, his voice breaking. "Logan, I killed her." He covered his face with his hands and began to sob. Dry, tearless sobs echoed through the room as Scott gave into his grief and wailed for the child that was lost to them all.

Logan covered the few feet between him and the younger man in seconds. He crouched down next to Scott, pulling him into his arms. "You didn’t kill her," he kept repeating as he rocked Scott in his arms.

"My fault. My fault. Blew a hole right through her. She was just a little girl. I'm so sorry, Logan. Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Scott rambled on, repeating how sorry he was again and again while begging Logan. What exactly he was begging for, neither of them knew.

Logan put his hand on the back of Scott’s head to hold it against his chest. He knew the only thing to do was to let Scott get it all out. He had wanted to cry for the dead little girl he’d carried back to the school, but he didn’t remember crying in his foggy memories.

Remy watched the two men, bracing himself against the pain they both felt. Worst of all was the sense of hopelessness coming from Scott. Reaching out, he sent a soothing wave of calm to the two men, hoping to at least dampen their pain.

"Gotta let us have our pain, baby," Logan said in a rough voice to his lover.

"Oui," Remy said, backing off a bit. He still left a lingering trace of his charm. Just a little for Scott to grab onto if he needed it. Meanwhile, he busied himself closing the door and locking it with the lock he hadn't exploded. Then he pulled the few things Scott had collected here together. He wasn't staying here. Remy wouldn't allow it. If he refused to return to the mansion then they'd go somewhere else, but they'd go together. He couldn't walk away and leave Scott hurting like this all alone.

Scott smelled sick to Logan. He also looked like shit. Logan was sure if he looked under the visor, Scott would have heavy bags under his eyes. He looked around the room and didn’t see any food wrappers. "Scott, when was the last time you ate?"

"I... I don't remember," Scott mumbled into Logan's neck. He was still gripping the man tightly, not wanting to let go. He needed this... needed human contact... badly.

"Don’t worry, not gonna let ya go," Logan told him and actually kissed the top of Scott’s head. Not only had Scott not eaten, but he hadn’t bathed either. They couldn’t take Scott back to the school in this state, even if he wanted to go back. He turned to Remy and asked him, "Could ya find us some place nice ta stay, Rems?"

"Already doin' it, cher," Remy said. He was talking into his cell phone, making them a reservation at one of the nicer, and more discreet, hotels in town. He also called for a taxi and was told it would be there in ten minutes.

"Maybe it would be a good idea if ya helped someone sleep," Logan told Remy. He hoped Remy would understand that he wanted his lover to use his charm to push Scott into sleep.

Remy nodded and knelt down next to the two men. He put his arms around Scott and let his charm pour out and soothe the troubled man. "Sleep, cher. We got you. Just sleep."

<><><><><><>

When Scott started to wake up, he felt comforting arms wrapped around him. "Jean?" he murmured still half asleep.

"Sorry, cher," Remy whispered. He tightened his grip on Scott, knowing the man would try to pull away when he realized who was holding him.

"M’Remy," Scott murmured and burrowed back against Remy, making a happy sound.

"That's it, cher. Go on back to sleep. We right here and we not let you go."

Scott made a happy noise again and gave into Remy’s gentle push with his charm. "He’s asleep again," Logan said gently. "Don’t think he slept much while he was here."

"Non," Remy replied. "Dreams prob'ly wouldn't let him. Poor t'ing."

"We’re gonna have ta make sure he washes and eats, too," Logan pointed out.

"Oui. Scotty gonna need a keeper till he gets over dis. Might take a long time, cher. You know how deep he feels t'ings like dis."

"If ya figure all this on top of Jean," Logan said, "then it's not surprising he cracked. I’m so close to losing it and Cyke is so much more sensitive than I am."

Remy smiled sadly at his lover. He knew Logan was hurting. He could feel it like a dull ache in his chest. "Remy know you hurt, cher. Remy feel it, too. Wish I could make it better for you."

"Just don’t go dying on me, kid," Logan said carefully. He really had loved Jean, but she was gone. Remy had come to the school only a few weeks after that and started to pursue him. He’d initially resisted Remy’s advances, but he’d eventually given in and now he couldn’t live without him. But he had to admit to himself that if Remy hadn’t shown up, he might have fallen into something with Scott.

"Remy not plan on it. Logan needs him. And I t'ink maybe Scotty does, too."

Scott started to wake up again and was starting to nuzzle Remy’s throat. He might have needed sleep, but his body wanted contact and food. Remy felt his body respond and moaned softly. He pushed Scott back a bit, not wanting to push him away but needing to put some distance between them. Scott made an upset sound and moved his arm, pulling Remy back to him. He started to nuzzle Remy’s neck again.

"Cher, a little help would be nice," Remy called to Logan. He knew if Scott kept it up he wouldn't be able to control his body. He didn't want Scott to wake up with a hard-on digging into him, especially with Logan in the room.

"Hey, Scooter…" Logan said softly, placing his hand on Scott’s shoulder. "Time to wake up."

Scott tensed immediately upon hearing Logan's voice. His eyes shot open and he saw Remy lying in his arms. He looked frantically to Logan, trying to see if the man was about to kill him.

"Stay calm, Scotty," Logan said softly. He raised his arms started to move off of the bed slowly. Scott was physically comfortable with Remy right now and not him. It was best if he removed himself from the situation.

"Logan?" Scott called, earlier events starting to come back to him. "What... what are you doing here?"

"I’m here for you," Logan answered him. He put his hands behind his back, hoping it was non-threatening.

"You don't act like you want to kill me," Scott said, confused.

"That’s because I don’t want to kill you," Logan told him.

"I killed Marie," Scott said miserably. "I'm so sorry, Logan. I wish it would have been me instead of her."

Logan winced when Scott said that. "People die. Kids die. That’s the way of the world."

"How can you not hate me?" Scott asked. He looked at Logan, willing the man to take some of the unbearable pain away.

"’Cause you care this much," Logan answered. "You’re torn up just as much as I am over this."

"You're a better man than I am, Logan. I don't think I could have done what you have, coming for me like this."

"You’re family, Scott," Logan reminded him, moving a little closer to the bed. "We take care of our own."

Scott didn't know what to say. He lay back on the bed and threw his arm over his eyes. He could still feel Remy beside him and before he could realize what he was doing, he pulled Remy in close to him.

Logan half smiled when he saw Scott treat Remy like a teddy bear. It felt good to smile again. "I think I’ll go out for some food. What do ya want?"

"Anything," Scott said. "I'm not really hungry."

"You’ll eat," Logan said and grabbed his coat from a nearby chair. They were staying in a fancy hotel and he doubted they would have the kind of food he knew was Scott’s favourite. He remembered Scott sneaking pizza at the mall when they took the kids on field trips.

When the door closed behind Logan, Scott turned to face Remy. He felt drawn to the young thief like he never had before. He wondered idly if he was suicidal as he reached out and ran a finger down the side of Remy's face.

Remy was an empath and having someone so close that needed him was dangerous. He couldn’t turn away from Scott, even if he wanted to. He knew Scott was dying for physical comfort right now. He shivered when he felt Scott tracing his face and rubbed his face against Scott’s hand.

"Remy..." Scott breathed. He pulled the younger man to him and covered his mouth with his own. He kissed Remy gently, letting his tongue tease along the other man's lips without seeking entrance. He knew this was madness. When Logan found out he really would kill him, but Scott needed this so badly he didn't care.

Remy was quickly becoming overwhelmed by Scott’s needy feelings. The man was touching him, just reinforcing the need he felt. When he liked someone, it was a natural reaction to try and use his charm, even on a subconscious level to make them feel better. Logan was like this with him, especially right after Jean and Marie had died. Logan was always touching him and this was why. Now Scott was touching him.

"Remy... sweet Remy... want you..." Scott moaned in between kisses. He was pressed hard up against the other man, pressing the lengths of their bodies together tightly. He let his hands slide up and down Remy's body, touching his back and cupping his ass as they continued to kiss.

Logan hadn’t been gone more than ten minutes when he came back into the suite. He stood there in the doorway with a pizza in one hand and the key card in the other. It took him a moment to understand what he was seeing. There on the bed were Scott and Remy. The thing that froze Logan in place was what they were doing. The kisses they were sharing were anything but passion-filled, instead more comforting. Logan didn't know if he should be angry, aroused or both. He made a point of coughing loudly and closing the door. "Ahhh, I’m back."

The two men sprang apart and looked guiltily at Logan. Scott opened his mouth to try to explain but he didn't know where to begin. Remy saw the pain in Logan's eyes and felt as if he'd been hit. Hard.

Logan wanted to scream at them and demand an answer, but he didn’t have the energy to do it. Remy was the one thing he could count on in his life. Remy was his steadfast angel, but he’d betrayed him.

"Logan... cher... it not what you t'ink," Remy said, his eyes filling with tears as he scrambled from the bed and made his way to Logan. "Please... Remy sorry... please, cher."

Logan set down the pizza on the table and started to back away from Remy. He’d been squeezing his hands shut so hard that the key card had snapped in half. "Make sure Cyke eats. I… I hafta get outta here."

"No, cher, please," Remy begged, knowing that if Logan left now he might never see him again. "Least let Remy explain. Please!"

Logan could never resist Remy when he begged. He closed his eyes and turned his head to the side. "Baby, let me go for now."

He wouldn’t let himself loose control with Remy. He couldn’t let the kid see what a monster he really was. What a deep instinctual part of him wanted to do was attack Scott for daring to touch his mate and beat Remy, then fuck him to prove his dominance again.

"If Remy let you go, you come back tonight?" Remy asked. He was willing to let Logan run if he gave his word he'd be back. He knew Logan wouldn't break it, even after Remy's own betrayal.

"Yeah, yeah, I’ll be back," Logan agreed quickly. He was backing up again, his rage building.

"Tonight," Remy pressed. "Back tonight. Promise me, cher. Please. Promise me and Remy not even put up a fight when you hurt him."

"Not gonna hurt ya, not if I leave," Logan growled. He was already backed against the door. "Come back tonight. Hafta leave now."

"Remy not stupid, Logan," Remy told him, looking him in the eyes as he spoke. "Remy know what gon' happen when you come back. You jus' make sure you *do* come back. Go on now. Get rid of what you can of it. Remy be waitin' here when you come back."

"Love ya, kid," Logan grunted as he was still pressed against the door. He didn’t say it that often, but he had to tell Remy that. He wouldn’t leave him, even with what he had seen with Scott. He wouldn’t leave Remy until the boy told him he to fuck off because he couldn’t live without him. He needed to find some scummy bar and get into a fight to work off some of the rage. But another part of him was afraid that if he left, Remy wouldn’t be there when he got back. So he just stayed there, pressed against the door.

"I love you, too, Logan. More than anyt'ing in de whole world. You my whole life. Remy not mean to do dis. I swear it. Remy rather carve his own guts out den hurt you like dis." Remy moved closer as he spoke, realizing Logan wasn't going to leave. He could feel the pain and betrayal Logan felt and it hurt. It hurt worse than anything he'd ever felt before.

"Won’t leave ya, kid," Logan said gruffly. "I can’t. You’ll hafta get rid of me."

"Don't ever wanna get rid of you, old man," Remy told him. He moved closer until he was right in front of Logan. "After you punish Remy, you forgive him?"

"Can’t punish ya," Logan repeated. Logan was messed up, but Remy had his own baggage. Remy had some messed up relationships in his past that Logan would have classified as abusive.

"Remy know you want to. Can see it in your eyes," Remy said. He pressed up against Logan, baiting his lover. "You wanna put your own mark on me. Make sure I know not to do dis again."

"You're not the one he should punish," Scott spoke up from the bed finally. "You didn't do anything, Remy. I did."

"Not gonna punish no one," Logan snapped. Then he had to take deep breath and try to calm down. "You two boys eat, I’m gonna go have a smoke in the bathroom."

They watched him go, the bathroom door slamming behind him. Scott looked at Remy and felt shame burn his face. "I'm so sorry, Remy. I don't know what happened. I shouldn't have done that. I'll talk to Logan. I'll make him understand it was my fault."

"When Logan’s in dis kinda mood, it’s best ta just leave him alone," Remy shook his head. "Better do what he says, too."

"Maybe it'd be best if I wasn't here when he came out," Scott suggested. He rose from the bed and ran a hand through his hair. He was such an idiot. How could he have betrayed Logan like that?

"Non, you stay here. We can get through dis," Remy insisted, opening the pizza box. "Wonder why Logan got dis when we had room service." He laughed nervously, trying to change the subject. He could smell that Logan was smoking cigarettes and not his beloved cigars. He only did that when he was really pissed off.

"Pizza," Scott said softly. "My favourite." He felt sick inside but he took a piece anyway. He knew Logan wanted him to eat so he would eat. Right now, if Logan wanted him to jump off the roof of the hotel he would do it just to make things right between them again. So much had gone wrong lately. He couldn't bear the thought of having screwed this up too.

"He remembered that," Remy commented with another nervous laugh. "He always remembers dat I like fries wit’ my gumbo."

"Logan's a very considerate man," Scott said. He tried to take another bite of the pizza and couldn't. He set it back down in the box and dropped heavily onto the bed. "Remy... can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, what’s dat?"

"What you said about Logan punishing you... what did you mean?" Scott was curious but he was also concerned. He knew Logan would never truly hurt his lover but sometimes the Wolverine lost control.

"Our relationship still new," Remy said, sitting down in a chair opposite of the bed. "Logan tries to hide da part of him I knows is in der. Different ways ta be punished. Spankin’, bein’ denied somthin’ ya want… bein’ tied up."

"But you would let him do that? Tie you up or... hit you?" Scott asked, surprised. He hadn't pictured Remy as the type to put up with abuse like that. He also couldn't see Logan doing it. Ever. Not to Remy. He might pound the hell out of Scott, but never his Remy.

"He says he don’t wanna do it, but Remy knows he could," Remy explained.

"I don't think so," Scott said. "Not to you. I think if he did, it might just break him. He loves you, Remy. I can't see him ever raising a hand to you."

"Never done anythin’ dat piss him off dis much," Remy said doubtfully, glancing at the closed bathroom door. "Remy likes that Logan’s so strong."

"Well when Logan comes out, you let me talk to him," Scott said again. "This is my fault and I'll take the heat for it."

"Not your fault," Remy told him. "Could’ve said no."

"I don't recall giving you much of a chance to and that's without taking your empathy into account," Scott argued. "I don't think you could have said no, Remy, and that worries me."

"Remy’s just a friendly guy," Remy said with a disarming smile on his face that usually worked. "Don’t gotta worry about Remy sayin’ no. Logan’s scary enough dat most men and women just walk away."

"Remy, tell me the truth. Could you have said no? Could you have pushed me away?"

Remy looked down at the floor, then started playing with his shirt. "Remy likes Scotty."

"I like you, too," Scott assured him. "But that doesn't answer the question. Could you have told me to stop if you'd wanted to? Please, Remy, I have to know."

This was always hard to explain to someone who wasn’t used to an empath. He’d explained to Logan early on. "If Remy likes someone, in da moment I don’t wanna say no." If he didn’t like someone then he could tell them to fuck off.

Scott thought about this and nodded. He figured it was as close to an answer as he was likely to get. "That's gotta be hard," he said at last. "Feeling an urge to please someone whether you really want to or not."

Now Remy looked up. "Remy likes ta please people. Dat’s why gotta be with someone strong like Logan dat don’t share."

Scott was about to reply when the bathroom door swung open. He stood up from the bed quickly and moved in between Remy and the door. He wanted Logan to deal with him, not his scared young lover.

Logan looked calm when he came out. A half a pack of cigarettes and a cement wall would do that. He’d punched the wall until he’d repeatedly broken the skin on his hand down to the bone. "I’m good now."

"Logan," Scott began, hesitantly. What do you say to the man whose boyfriend you were just fooling around with? "I'm sorry. I should never have kissed Remy. It was my fault entirely."

"It was my fault for leaving you two alone," Logan shook his head. "I’m supposed to be takin’ care of ya. You were just reaching out…"

"I put my hands on your lover. There's no excuse for that. Especially with Remy's empathy," Scott said. "If you plan on beating the crap out of someone, I'd prefer it be me than him."

"Not gonna beat the crap out of no one," Logan sighed. He cracked his fingers on his right hand. It was the hand that only minutes before had been raw and bleeding.

"Do you want me to go?" Scott asked.

"No," Logan said gruffly. "If you run off, I’ll find ya. I’ll get over it."

"I'm sorry, Logan," Scott apologized again. "I don't know what came over me. He was there and I just... needed someone so badly."

"I know. Trust me, I know," Logan said, looking over at Remy. "Remy’s easy to lean on."

"So now what, cher?" Remy asked, coming over to stand beside the two men.

"So now we forget it happened," Logan grunted. "We decide what to do in the morning."

Scott nodded his agreement. "I'll take the couch," he said.

"Get on the bed, Slim," Logan growled impatiently. He knew that Scott needed human contact and he wasn’t going to deny him that just because he was jealous.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Scott said. As he tried to convince Logan, Remy headed for the bathroom. He knew his lover and needed to see how angry Logan had been. He gasped when he saw the bloody towels wadded up in the corner of the shower. From the blood on the wall it looked like Logan had taken his fist to it over and over again.

Remy could also smell the slight lingering scent of burnt flesh and he wondered if Logan had also been putting out the cigarettes on his palm again. He came out of the bathroom and said to Logan in a wounded voice, "You hurt yourself."

"Not much, precious," Logan said. "Just enough to get my head straight. You know how fast I heal."

"Not right," Remy came up to him and started running his hands over Logan’s body. He knew he wouldn’t find any scars, but that didn’t stop him. "Where?"

Logan held up his hand for Remy to see. He felt bad about upsetting him, but it had been necessary. If he hadn't worked off some of his anger he would have hurt one of them and he didn't think he could live with that. "See, darlin'. I'm fine."

Remy grabbed Logan’s hand and started to kiss it, rubbing his face against Logan’s palm. "You’re hurtin’ so much."

"It's okay, Rems. I'm not hurtin' anymore. Everything's okay now," Logan tried to assure him.

"Tryin’ ta be strong," Remy whispered back. His energy levels were drained trying to support both Scott and Logan.

"I thought that's what ya liked about me most," Logan said. "My strength." He put his arms around his lover and pulled him into a gentle hug, nuzzling softly against his neck.

"Remy does," he whimpered, baring his neck to Logan. "Jus’ tired."

"Then let's get some rest," Logan said. He thought about telling Remy he and Scott could share the bed but he couldn't do it. He'd be up all night watching them and he knew Remy wouldn't get any sleep either. "I'm pretty beat myself. Good thing the bed's big enough for all three of us."

"Logan be in da middle," Remy said, letting Logan guide him to the bed. He wanted to keep himself away from Scott temporarily and it would be good for Scott and Logan to cuddle a bit.

"Nah, want Scott in the middle," Logan said. "Don't want him tryin' ta sneak out of here." He left unsaid the fact that he wanted to show Remy he trusted him.

"M’okay," Remy said. "Jus’ wanna sleep." He wanted them all to sleep but he really was exhausted. Being exposed to such volatile emotions was fatiguing.

Logan shuffled Remy toward the bed, grabbing Scott on the way and pulling him along as well. "On the bed, both of ya," Logan told them as he toed off his boots.

"You’re bossy, you know that?" Scott grumbled.

"Yeah, yeah," Logan said. He waited for the two men to settle on the bed. Remy was farthest from the door with Scott next to him. Logan laid down on the outside. He lay there for a minute then pulled Scott to him until the man was spooned against him with his head on his chest. "Get some sleep, both of you."

<><><><><><>

Scott woke up that morning lying comfortably in Logan’s arms. His face was buried against the man chest and Logan’s chest hair was tickling his nose.

"You feelin' any better, Cyke?" Logan asked softly, not wanting to wake Remy.

"You’re hairy," Scott mumbled. He didn’t want to talk about how he was feeling.

"We been sharin' the same shower for months and you just now figured that out?" Logan quipped, trying to draw the man out. He knew how closed-mouthed Cyke could be when he didn't want to talk.

Scott nuzzled Logan’s chest before. "Never been that close before."

"Ah," Logan gasped, his arm instinctively tightening around the other man. "You're playin' with fire, Cyke."

Scott froze when he heard Logan speak. He’d been so desperate for touch, he’d forgotten whose arms he was in. It had been so long since he’d been held. "Sorry," Scott mumbled and tried to move away from Logan.

Logan held him in place, not letting him back away. "It's okay, Scott," Logan told him. "I ain't mad or nothin'. Just didn't want ya startin' somethin' you didn't know how to finish."

Scott’s hand automatically went up to his goggles, to hold them in place. "I’m not trying anything, I swear."

"It's alright, cher," Remy said, rolling over to pin Scott firmly against Logan's side. "Ain't nobody sayin' you was. Ol' Logan, he don't take much to get goin'. You know what I mean, cher?"

Scott had accidentally walked in Logan and Remy in a romantic clinch more than once. Remy was the one who started rubbing or crawling all over Logan and he was the one who would snap, dragging the younger man off.

"I have to take a shower," Scott blurted out suddenly.

"No, you don't," Logan told him. "What's got you so scared? You know we ain't gonna hurt ya. You do know that, don't ya, Cyke?"

"Let me go, please…" Scott muttered.

"Why?" Remy asked. "Remy can feel how much you wanna stay. We want you to stay, too." Remy looked to Logan for confirmation, last night's debacle clear in his head. But Logan only nodded, letting his lover know he was behind him.

"Because this isn’t fair," Scott answered. "I have to go back. I know that. But don’t give me this and then expect me to go back to being alone. Just don’t give it to me…"

"And who said you had to go back to bein' alone?" Logan asked. He swallowed thickly once the words were out, but it was too late. He couldn't take them back and in truth he didn't want to. Scott needed them. Or rather, he needed Remy. Logan would just have to learn to share.

"Logan, don’t… please," Scott swallowed thickly. He didn’t want to know what Logan was offering.

"I know you want him," Logan went on. "Seen that for myself last night. Guess Remy wants you, too. Wouldn't have been with ya like that if he didn't. Like I tol' Remy last night, I won't leave him. You two... if you need him... want him..." Logan couldn't finish. It was tearing his heart out to make the offer but he knew Scott was barely holding on. He'd been slipping further and further away since Jeanie died and Logan didn't know any other way to bring him back.

In that instance Scott made a decision that he hoped would please everyone. "I need him emotionally and his touch, but not sexually."

"Looked pretty sexual last night," Logan said before he could stop himself. "This ain't just about what you need, though. This is about Remy, too. With his empathy, he won't be able to hold back, not if he lets himself get close to ya."

"I can’t let that happen again," Scott insisted stubbornly. "I won’t let it turn sexual. If he needs sexual release, that’s different, but I won’t let myself fail again."

Logan actually laughed at that. "Apparently you ain't been payin' attention. If Remy wants ya to cum, you will. He can make me cum with that damn charm of his and I'm a hell of a lot more stubborn than you."

"Then… then I can’t let this happen," Scott said and did one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He started to move away from Logan and Remy.

"Logan, he not gon' do dis without you," Remy said as he held Scott firmly in place. "He won' come between us and dat's what he's scared he gon' do if it jus' be me an' him."

"Remy, really, I just need you to be my friends," Scott tried to convince them.

"You don' have to lie, Scott," Remy told him as he began stroking his arm. "Remy know what you really feelin' inside. A whole lot of confusion, but under dat, Remy know what's der."

Scott pulled his knees up to his chest. "What a murderer? A pathetic bastard?"

"You ain't neither of those t'ings," Remy told him. "You hurt and scared and confused and aroused as all hell. You had too much on you for too long. I know your woman ain't here for you no more, but you got us. If you want us, dat is."

"I have to be strong," Scott mumbled, his voice cracking. "I have to get used to being alone. "I’m the leader… I’m…"

"A man, just like the rest of us," Logan told him. "Let us help you, Scott. Please."

Scott wasn’t able to hold out for very long when Logan and Remy were offering him exactly what he dreamed about. "I wouldn’t need much…" he said carefully.

"Whatever you need," Logan promised and hoped like hell he wasn't making a mistake. He could learn to share Remy but he'd never make it without him. Not anymore.

"Just want to stop dying inside," Scott whispered desperately.

"Den let us in, cher," Remy said softly. He pulled Scott to him, kissing him slowly. He gripped Logan's hand as he did so, wanting desperately for Logan to be a part of this rather than outside of it. Scott needed *them*. Both of them. Remy could give him the love and affection but he needed Logan's strength and support just as much.

Logan moved behind Scott and Remy, starting to massage Scott’s tense shoulders. He could accept Scott into their bed and life knowing that it was just temporary. They’d get the boy on his feet and maybe hooked up with another girl who could fuss over him like Jean used to. Scott definitely needed someone to take care of him and Logan could take care of two young men instead of just one for awhile.

Scott pulled away from Remy's mouth and turned to Logan. "You sure you're not going to kill me for this?" he asked. It wasn't so much his own skin he was worried about. He didn't want to fuck things up between the two men.

Logan shifted closer and kissed Scott to answer his question. Logan made the kiss soft and exploring. He’d always been attracted to Scott, but the posturing and Jean had always made anything between them impossible until now. But this young man kissing him back wasn’t the fierce leader of the X-Men with an attitude problem. He was a wounded young man, desperate to feel and be loved.

"Dat's it, cher. Just let us love you," Remy said as he started in on the buttons of Scott's shirt. As soon as he slipped it from the man's shoulders he started in on his pants.

Scott whimpered into Logan’s mouth and pressed up against the larger man. Logan ran his hands calmly over Scott’s chest.

"Ya ever been with a man before, Scotty?" Remy asked as he slid pants and boxers down to bunch at Scott's knees.

"No, not like this," Scott whispered with a shudder. "Thought about it, but then Jean…"

"Dat's okay, cher. We make it real good for you," Remy promised before turning his attention to Logan. "You be easy on him. Dis his first time."

Normally, Logan would have answered "Yes, Dear," just to piss his lover off. He loved it when Remy was all hot and pissed off at him. But now was a serious time and he might be an emotional retard, but he knew enough to be careful with Scott. He ran his hands over Scott’s sweaty hair and answered, "Yeah, I know."

"Maybe Scott, he fuck Remy, huh?" Remy offered as he pulled his own shirt off. "Maybe jus' use his mouth on Logan?"

"Anything," Scott murmured, but his cock filled at the idea of fucking Remy.

Logan hesitated then nodded. "Yeah, okay," he said. // This is for Scott! // he told himself harshly, pushing away the pain he felt at even thinking of Scott taking his Remy. He pushed Scott back toward Remy and moved back on the bed. He began to remove his own clothes as Remy finished sliding out of his jeans.

Scott was shaking with anticipation and his hands were clasping again and again on the bedding. Remy had the long lean body of a runner, while Logan was compact, hairy and built for fighting. He was attracted to both of them, even though they were opposites.

"Keep him warm," Logan said, a little more gruffly than he meant to as he rose from the bed and headed for the bathroom. He grabbed the lube from the medicine chest and paused. He took a few deep breaths, both to calm himself and to give the younger men a few minutes alone together. Telling himself not to overreact to what he saw, he headed out of the bathroom and back toward the bed.

What he saw was Scott flat on his back and Remy straddling his chest, kissing him. Scott’s hands were on Remy’s ass, squeezing rhythmically. Logan's breath caught at the sight and he felt his cock go hard. The flare of jealousy was less this time, muted somehow. He approached the bed slowly and climbed on, tossing the lube to the side. As he slid up behind Remy he whispered just loud enough for both of them to hear, "Let me get you ready, baby."

"He was scared, cher," Remy whispered back.

"Nothin' to be scared of here, Scott," Logan told him. "Nothin' at all." He pressed Remy forward until he was laying across Scott's chest. That gave Logan access to his ass and he located the tube of lubricant he'd tossed onto the bed and slicked his fingers.

"Remy loves to be fucked," Logan growled softly, starting to push one finger into Remy.

"Oui," Remy gasped. He loved the feel of Logan's fingers breaching his body. It made him hot to feel himself being taken like that. Then Scott's hands were on his face, pulling him down into another searing kiss.

As Logan stretched Remy, he was more than tempted to just sink his own cock into him. Remy was such a sweet fuck and had absolutely no barriers with him. Logan could do anything to him and Remy would beg for more. It was scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Logan managed to restrain himself with the promise of Scott's sweet mouth as a reward. Once Remy was ready he leaned down and pressed his lips to the other man's ear. "You want him to wear a rubber?" he whispered. Remy and Logan went bare with each other but that didn't mean they had to do that with Scott.

"He only been wit’ one person for years," Remy said, not saying Jean’s name. He didn’t want her as a ghost in this bedroom. "He’s safe, aren’t ya Scotty?"

"Yes," Scott said, understanding what they were talking about. He was surprised and pleased that Logan had thought to ask. The man really did love Remy.

"Don’t like barriers," Remy said, referring to both emotional and physical ones. He moved up, reaching behind him and grasping Scott’s cock.

"Let me do it," Logan said softly, pulling Remy's hand away. He took Scott's cock in hand and stroked it then pushed Remy forward a bit. He held the head of Scott's cock against his lover's body and slowly pulled Remy back onto it. The sight of Remy stretching wide to accommodate Scott's thick shaft made Logan groan with want and he barely managed to keep from slamming Remy down on it fully.

"So tight…" Scott groaned in surprised delight as Remy started to sink slowly onto his cock, directed by Logan.

"That's it, baby," Logan crooned as he backed off. "Make it good for him." He brought his still slick hand down to his own hard cock and began to stoke. He knew Scott had said he'd suck him but Logan didn't want to push. The boy was having a hard enough time as it was. He'd let them have this and enjoy the view while he could.

Scott watched as Logan moved around to the head of the bed. He expected the man to move closer but Logan remained a few feet away, stroking his cock and watching them. "Don’t you want me?" Scott asked in a shaky voice. He hadn’t sucked cock before, but he didn’t want Logan to reject him.

"Yeah, Scotty, I want you," Logan replied. He traced his thumb down Scott's face, letting it come to rest on his lips. He kept stroking himself in time with Remy's movements, wanting to cum when the other two did if he could manage it.

"I can do it," Scott moaned softly, opening his mouth and starting to suck on Logan’s fingers.

"Don't wanna push," Logan gasped out. The feel of Scott's hot mouth shot straight to his groin and Logan squeezed his cock mercilessly to keep from cumming.

Scott pulled away from Logan’s fingers. He would only try once more. "Please?" he asked barely above a whisper.

Logan couldn't resist. Moving forward on the bed, he pressed his erection to Scott's lips. He groaned when the man sucked the head of his cock inside and fisted his hands to keep from grabbing onto Scott's head and forcing it down further.

Scott’s movements were unskilled and tentative, but that made it all the sexier for Logan, knowing he was the first man to do this with Scott. Scott was moaning softly as he sucked, spurned on by the feeling of Remy on his cock.

"Oh yeah, cher," Remy gasped as he watched Scott slowly taking Logan in. "Suck 'im real good." He brought his hand down to his own neglected cock and started to stroke. He was getting close and he wanted to cum with Scott inside him, wanting the other man to feel it.

Scott was the first to cum, followed closely by Remy. Logan tried to hold off, not wanting to cum in Scott’s mouth and startle him. Holding Scott's head, Logan pulled back, freeing his cock from the other man's mouth. A few short strokes later and he was cumming, splattering his seed across Scott's chest as he did so.

Remy carefully moved off of Scott’s cock and leaned over to lick the man’s chest clean. He could feel that the exhausted man was barely able to turn his head now. Days of not eating and sleeping had finally caught up to him.

"No goin' to sleep yet," Logan chided as he got off the bed once more. His own legs were a bit shaky as he made his way to the table where he'd set the pizza. Grabbing the box, he returned to the bed and propped Scott up enough to eat. "I know it's cold but you gotta eat somethin', Slim."

"I’m not hungry, really Logan," Scott said in a tired voice. He just wanted to curl up and sleep.

"Eat first," Logan said firmly but gently. "Then you can rest as long as you want. You too, Rems. You need to eat."

Remy snatched a piece of pizza from the box. "If ya don’t eat, cher, he’ll feed you by hand."

Scott looked at Remy then back at Logan. He knew right away that they weren't kidding. "Alright," he smiled. "But just one. I don't think I can keep any more than that down right now."

Logan reached out and ruffled Scott’s hair. "You’ll eat some more after ya wake up, Scooter."

Scott grinned as he finished the pizza. He felt... if not loved, cared for at least and that was more than he'd had in a very long time. He knew they still had things to work out between the three of them and over what had happened to Marie but Scott knew they would. Logan was a stubborn bastard when it came to his family.

END