Title: Stoic Lies

Authors: Creed Cascade and TJ

Fandom: X-Men

Pairing: Logan (Wolverine)/ Scott Summers (Cyclops)

Rating: NC-17

Status: new

Archive: If you want it, go ahead. Just knock me upside the head and let me know.

Feedback: creed_cascade@hotmail.com and TazzyJan@aol.com

Other websites: http://insaneasylum.slashfanfiction.com

Disclaimers: We have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. You don't ask where we get these strange plots starring mysteriously familiar characters, and we won't tell you that I make no money, only deliriously happy satisfaction. Very hush-hush.

Notes: Written for Nell's January Challenge. Post X2

Summary: Scott finds understanding and comfort from an unusual source.


Stoic Lies
By Creed Cascade and TJ

Everyone was worried about how poor Scott Summers would handle the death of Jean Grey. The team was impressed by how well he composed himself for the needed confrontation in the White House. He projected the calm and cold mask of Cyclops, leader of the X-Men. Scott continued to be the stoic man everyone expected him to be until they returned to the school. No one was concerned about the little scar on the back of his neck. It attested to the brainwashing and torture he had endured at the hands of Stryker, but for now it was his secret.

"You know, you never did welcome me back," Logan said as he stood in the doorway of Scott's room. He wasn't as fooled as everyone else by the front Scott was putting up. He remembered the anguished expression on the man's face all too clearly. The fact that he was sitting alone on the end of the bed he'd shared with Jean and hadn't even noticed Logan come in showed just how effected he truly was.

Scott looked up at Logan without any emotion on his face. “I was planning on beating the crap out of you. Doesn’t seem important now.”

Logan took that for as much of an invitation as he was likely to get and walked into the room. He closed the door behind him, wanting some privacy, then turned back to the man sitting on the bed. "So, you gonna slit your wrists now, or what?"

“No, sort of wished I could cry though,” Scott answered, not looking up at Logan. “Jean deserves tears.”

"Just cause you ain't sobbin' on somebody's shoulder don't mean you ain't cryin' for her," Logan said. "Jeanie knew how much you loved her."

“She killed herself for me,” Scott said. “She loved me more than I loved her. I tried to kill her, you know.”

"That was Stryker," Logan replied without hesitation. "You'd never do anything to hurt Jeanie. I know how much you loved her. Everyone does."

“What does that mean now?” Scott shook his head. “Nothing.”

"So what? Everything you had together means nothin’ now that she's gone? You think she'd have felt that way if it were ya that didn't come home? You loved her and she's gone. Nothin’ ya do will bring her back. You gotta live with that, but ya don't have to do it alone."

“I know,” Scott said. This time he turned and at looked at Logan. He was still wearing his worn X-Men uniform and battle visor, instead of his glasses. “Everyone has told me they’ll be there for me.”

"They care about ya, but that's not what you need right now, is it? You never struck me as the type that liked to be coddled. Stryker hurt ya. Not just cause he got Jeanie killed. He hurt *you*. Makes ya wanna hurt him back, don't it?"

“He’s dead,” Scott answered with tight lips. It was as simple as that. He knew the man was dead now, so he had to suppress the anger and fear bubbling up in his gut.

"Yeah, but that don't change the way ya feel. He did something to ya. Don't know what… maybe some of the same stuff that was done to me. Who knows? But I can smell the fear comin' off ya right now."

“I don’t have any scars, I’ll live,” Scott answered. His back was now stiff and knotted with tension as he answered Logan. The truth was what he recalled was a jumble of memories that he was trying to ignore.

"Bullshit," Logan told him. "Ya got scars. You got plenty of 'em. They're all inside ya. You gotta talk to somebody, Cyke. Might as well be me. I'm probably the only person here who's gone through anything like it."

Scott’s head snapped to look directly at the man whom had only hours again held him in his arms as a form of shared grief and comfort. “Have you ever raped and tortured the people you love a thousand times over?” he hissed at Logon. “Have you ever relived over and over the death of all the children who are entrusted in your care?”

"You don't wanna know the things I’ve done," Logan replied calmly. "I ran a little girl through with my claws cause she tried to wake me up from a nightmare. I killed people with my bare hands. Some of 'em, they didn't deserve to die like that. At least ya can tell yourself that it's all in your head, you didn't *really* do those things."

“Take all that crap you survived and now image reliving that… again… *again*…” Scott responded in a quieter voice. That had been his worst torture at the hands of Stryker’s pet psychic.

Logan moved closer and put a hand on Scott's shoulder. "I do. Every night. I know what you're going through. Let me help you."

“You can’t help,” Scott insisted. “You can’t make the screams stop or bring Jean back.”

"No, but I can be here for you when the screams get too loud. I can tell ya that you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't hurt anybody, no matter what Stryker made ya believe. If I'd known that bastard made ya think you'd raped Jeanie..."

“Not just her,” Scott cut him off, even as his shoulders slumped with defeat and weariness.

"Who else?" Logan asked. He knew Scott needed to talk about this whether he wanted to or not. Long years of experience told him it would help with the nightmares if nothing else.

“Marie…” Scott shuddered and looked away from Logan. “Almost anyone I care for or protect. The faces would keep changing, but I always… I always *raped* them.”

"Scott, look at me," Logan said. He waited until Scott turned back to face him again before continuing. "You ain't the kinda man that would rape anyone. Ever! You ain't got it in you. Believe me, I know."

“I raped you,” Scott blurted out. “You shouldn’t be near me. No one should be around me right now. I still remember that I enjoyed it. I fucking enjoyed it!”

"Scott! That was all in your head. He made ya think you were raping me and he made you think you enjoyed it. Tell me something, did you enjoy hurtin' Jeanie like that? Or Marie? Cause I know damn well you'd never do anything to hurt either of 'em."

“No! I didn’t want to hurt them… I didn’t enjoy it!” Scott snapped, but then his voice lowered and he muttered. “But he knew… he knew…”

"He knew what?" Logan asked, sensing this was the crux of Scott's problem.

Scott’s soul felt like it was shattered and was barely holding on with a thread. What he never would have told Logan and anyone else before, just slipped from his lips. “He knew about you…”

"What about me?" Logan pushed. "That you wanted to hurt me... put me in my place? Didn't take a genius to figure that out. It don't mean nothin'."

“That I wanted you before,” Scott said in a broken voice.

Logan paused, surprised by the admission. He had smelled lust on Scott before but always attributed it to one of the women or Scott's subconscious need to prove his dominance. He'd never once suspected it was anything more. "The bastard had no right to use that against you," he finally said.

“Aren’t you disgusted?” Scott demanded. “Don’t you hate me?” He wanted Logan to be mad at him, to hit him. He wanted to feel anything else right now other than his internal pain.

"Why would I be disgusted with you?" Logan asked. "You really think I'm that small-minded? You can't control who you have feelings for. You think I wanted to fall for Jeanie, knowing I'd never have her?"

“She told me she liked you,” Scott told Logan, remembering the conversation he’d recently shared with Jean. “I’d proposed to her and she said no. Not until she resolved what she felt for you.”

Logan swallowed hard, feeling like he'd just been kicked in the gut. "I didn't mean for that to happen. Scott, ya gotta know, when it came down to it, she chose you. You were the one she wanted. I was the bad boy she was curious about. It was never more than that and it never would have been."

“She was comfortable with me,” Scott told him. His voice and demeanour didn’t speak of someone who was overly upset, just sadly accepting of the situation. “But she felt passion with you.”

"That's because I was someone new," Logan said, shaking his head. "I tried to get her to be with me. I know that makes me a bastard, but I need to tell ya the truth. I tried, and she turned me down. Said it was you she loved, not me."

This time Scott looked down at his hands and then leaned over to the bedside table. He pulled out a small velvet box and just held it in his palm without opening it. “I used to carry this around the school, waiting for the perfect time to ask her,” Scott said, caressing the velvet box. “Jean is the marrying type, I always knew that. She just didn’t want to marry me. Stryker made sure I relieved that moment over and over again. He didn’t even have to fake that memory.”

"Don't do this to yourself," Logan pleaded softly, taking the box from Scott's hands and placing it back on the table. "You loved each other but she's gone now. I wish I could change it, but I can't go back and take her place."

Something in Scott’s mind seemed to grab at that idea. The way Logan had held him after Jean’s sacrifice had been so caring. He had loved Jean and been rejected to. Logan understood everything he was going through, even what it was like to be tortured. “But you could take her place here…” he whispered.

"What?" Logan gasped, stilling. He looked at Scott, at the defeated posture and broken expression. He knew what the younger man was doing, he was grasping for something... *anything*... to help get him through this. Logan knew he owed it to Jeanie at least to try and be that something.

At this point, Scott would do just about anything for someone to touch him again. Everyone had felt pity for him since they got back from the White House, but no one had touched him. “I’m not stupid…” Scott said. “Not right now, but when you get a need. I could take care of it for you.”

"It's not gonna be like that, Slim. I got too much respect for you to treat you like that." Logan moved next to Scott and for the second time pulled the man into his arms. "What say we take it slow, huh? Give this old man some time to get used to this. Been a long time since I was with another man."

Scott’s took and deep shuddering breath when he felt Logan’s arms wrap around him. He moved so quickly that he pushed Logan back on to the bed and all but crawled over him to get tighter into his grasp. “Anything you want,” he promised.

"Okay, easy, Slim," Logan said, holding onto Scott and trying to settle him down at the same time. He ended up sliding them back on the bed so that they were both stretched out with Scott safely tucked into his arms.

Scott had grabbed on of Logan’s hands and was massaging between his knuckles. “You can use these any time you want right?”

"Yeah," Logan replied, warily. He knew Scott's sanity was hanging by a thread at the moment. It wouldn't be much of a leap for him to suddenly become suicidal.

“Good,” Scott told him. “That means you can protect yourself at any time.” What he didn’t add was, ‘…from me.’

"Wanna tell me where this is coming from?" Logan asked, now thoroughly confused.

“From nowhere,” Scott answered, but in his own head, he was glad to know that Wolverine could protect himself against a rape. The memory had been a manipulation of his mind by Stryker’s pet psychic, but that didn’t make the memory any less sickening.

"I'd never use my claws against you," Logan told him. "You'd never give me reason to. You won't hurt me, Scott. I wouldn't be lying here now if I didn't believe that without a doubt."

“I know,” Scott said, saying it more to pacify Logan than anything else. He moved Logan’s hand up to his mouth and started to kiss, then lick between Logan’s knuckles.

Logan moaned at the feel of soft lips and an eager tongue tracing along his knuckles. That particular area was hyper-sensitive because of his claws and the feel of Scott's tongue there traveled through his entire body.

“Will you stay?” Scott asked softly.

"Yeah, I'll stay," Logan promised. "You know, this wasn't exactly how I pictured you welcoming me home." He was trying to lighten the heavy mood, knowing that if he didn't put some sort of distance between them, things were going to go much further than he wanted them to.

“Better late than never,” Scott answered, but was already settling his head against Logan’s chest.

*

Logan gently ran his fingers over the back of Scott's neck as the man slept. He had woken up about an hour ago but Scott was still dead to the world. Logan hadn't wanted to wake him so he'd stayed put and contented himself with watching the younger man sleep. As he continued to gently caress Scott's neck, his fingers drifted over a raised area of flesh. Frowning, Logan leaned forward to inspect it, thinking it simply a wound he'd missed the night before.

What he saw triggered an instant reaction. It was the psychical proof that Stryker had manipulated Scott. He had known it would be there, but he just hadn’t thought about it until his finger ghosted over. Scott whimpered softly and shivered when he touched the spot again.

"It's okay. I'm here," Logan whispered, hoping to soothe him back to sleep. He wanted at least a few minutes to digest this newest piece of the puzzle. That mark meant Stryker had been in complete control of Scott. Not only had he been manipulated mentally, but physically as well. There was no telling what all the man had done to him or forced Scott himself to do.

Scott settled at the sound of Logan’s voice. His hand did tighten on Logan’s shirt, seemingly trying to stop Logan from leaving, even in his sleep.

Logan wrapped his arms around Scott, hoping the added contact would help him get back to sleep. His stomach churned as he thought about the things Stryker was capable of. Vague memories of his own past flitted through his head and Logan growled unconsciously at the imagined threat.

“Logan?” Scott muttered sleepily, drawn into consciousness by the other man’s growl.

Logan's response was to tighten his arms and growl louder, as if trying to ward off whatever was threatening them. He was caught up in his memories, lost in a time when he had been little more than a lab rat for them to experiment on.

For a moment, Scott wondered if he was living out another fantasy that would soon turn into a nightmare. But Logan’s growling was very real and he started to caress his hand over Logan’s stomach to comfort him.

Scott's touch began to soothe away the memories and Logan's growl softened then turned into what could only be described as a purr. He rumbled deep in his chest, but the sound was now one of contentment.

Scott smiled for the first time since Jean’s death and the torture he had endured when he heard that sound. Whatever it took, he planned to hear it again. Scott’s caress turned almost into a petting sensation. Logan's purr grew louder as Scott continued to touch him. That was, until he realized he was doing it then the sound abruptly stopped as Logan looked away in embarrassment.

“Why did you stop?” Scott asked immediately. “I liked that.”

"Liked what?" Logan asked, pretending he had no clue what Scott was talking about. The Wolverine did not *purr* and that was all there was to it.

“That purring sound,” Scott insisted, starting to scratch his fingers over a spot that only seconds ago had made the purr louder. “It was nice.”

"I don't know what you're talkin' about. I ain't a cat. I don't purr," Logan insisted.

Scott smiled at Logan again. It was only a small smile, but it was sincere. “I won’t tell anyone the big, bad Wolverine purrs.”

"Better not," Logan said, willing to do just about anything to see a smile on Scott's face, even a small one. "Sorry I woke you up. I was tryin' to keep quiet so you could sleep."

“I shouldn’t sleep,” Scott told him. “The Professor will need me to help clean up this whole mess.”

"Xavier's got a school full of people to help clean things up," Logan said, keeping Scott securely in his arms. "It's not like they got much else to do at the moment. You can take a breather for a bit and let the rest of 'em handle things. If he needs you, he knows where to find ya."

“I should tell him about us…” Scott said. “But what should I tell him?”

"You honestly think he doesn't already know?" Logan asked. He knew the Professor had been worried about Scott and would have been keeping a mental eye on him. "But you're right, we should probably tell him officially that we're... together."

“I know that he knows,” Scott confirmed. “But he still likes to hear it from us. And when you say together… what exactly do you mean?” He needed to know what Logan wanted out of the relationship. If they went public, he knew other people would think that he had been cheating on Jean with Logan before her death.

"I mean, *together*. I don't want people to think you were cheating on Jeanie or that we're spitting on her memory. We're not. We're friends. What we do behind closed doors is our business."

Scott wanted to feel Logan touching him again. The hand that had been caressing him started to move down closer towards Logan’s groin. “And what exactly would be doing behind closed doors?” he asked trying to sound seductive.

"Jesus, Scott," Logan gasped. "You tryin' ta make me lose it or what?" As he spoke, he arched up toward Scott's hand, his body knowing exactly where it wanted it. Cradling the back of Scott's head with one hand, Logan titled his head back and brought their mouths together for the first time.

Scott whimpered into the kiss and shuddered at the touch. He tried to increase the intensity of the kiss, pushing Logan back onto the bed and climbing onto the bed. “See… see, someone wants to touch me,” he muttered between kisses. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan let Scott lead, trying to give him what he seemed to need. He kept touching him, arching up against him and rubbing their erections together through their pants. He knew they were moving too fast again, but he would take this as far as Scott needed to.

Scott started to rub his erection against Logan’s through the layers of leather and fabric. Logan had changed into a t-shirt and jeans, but Scott was still in his battle suit. He was desperately rubbing against Logan, kissing him and muttering to himself that, “Someone wants to touch me.”

"I want you," Logan told him between frantic kisses. "Been wantin' ya. Wanted you the whole time I was gone."

“You want to fuck me, don’t you?” Scott suddenly demanded.

Logan froze, his senses telling him that something was wrong. "Scotty? You okay?" he asked.

“I want you to fuck me,” Scott demanded, now sitting astride Logan’s hips. “I want you to show Stryker that you would fuck me.”

"Hey, Scott, come on," Logan said. "Stryker's not here. Whatever he said to you, it was nothing but bullshit. Yeah, I want you. I wanna be inside you, too, but I don't think we're ready for that yet."

Scott scowled at Logan. “He said nobody would want me after what happened. He was right, wasn’t he?”

"No," Logan snarled, grabbing Scott and flipping them over so that he was on top. "He wasn't right. I'm hard as hell right now cause I want you, boy."

“Then fuck me!” Scott demanded. “Prove to him and me that I’m not a whore!”

"Fine!" Logan shot back. He used his weight to hold Scott to the bed and kissed him roughly, shoving his tongue inside and taking the man's mouth. He didn't pull back until he'd run his tongue over every inch of it he could manage, grazing Scott's lips with his teeth more than once.

“Cut my suit off with your claws,” Scott demanded sometime between one of the hungry kisses.

Logan claws flashed and he made short work of the remains of Scott's uniform. He nicked Scott's chest at one point and leaned down to lick the blood away. The taste of blood combined with the heavy scent of sex in the air made Logan growl in arousal as he began quickly shedding his own clothes.

“Where’s some stuff?” Logan managed to gather enough brain cells to ask.

"Skip it," Scott demanded. He didn't want Logan to use anything. They had used something on him when they had... hurt him and he didn't want to remember that. He didn't want to feel slick fingers breeching his body. He just wanted Logan to fuck him.

“I’m not skipping it,” Logan growled, rifling through the nearby bedside stand that had held Scott’s ring. After a few moments, he came back with a bottle of lotion that smelled of flowers. He recognized the scent from Jean. His cock got harder at the scent combined with the idea of fucking Scott. If he tried hard enough, he could also smell Jean on Scott.

Scott started to argue then stopped when Logan grabbed his cock and stroked it. It didn't matter. As long as Logan fucked him, it didn't matter. Stryker was wrong and Logan was going to prove that now.

Logan smoothed the lotion onto his cock and decided if he was slow enough, he could stretch Scott using his cock. He knew Scott needed to see his face, so he moved between the man’s open legs and started to slowly push into him.

Scott spread his legs as wide as he could, grunting when Logan pushed his knees upward. He felt incredibly vulnerable, but he trusted Logan. He tried to relax when he felt Logan's slick cock at his hole, then the man was pushing inside, stretching him painfully.

“Ya can’t think about no one but me now,” Logan demanded possessively. “Just me.”

"Ju-just you," Scott agreed, locking eyes with Logan. He felt like he was being torn in two. It was so very different from what Stryker and his men had done to him and for that, Scott was grateful.

The friction was so deadly sweet that Logan couldn’t help but pounding into Scott. He made sure that Scott was hard and stayed hard as he continued to fuck him. In a passing thought he wondered if Scott looked this vulnerable when he made love to Jean.

After all the earlier petting it couldn't last long. When Logan felt himself getting close, he took Scott's cock in hand and began stroking it, determined that he cum as well. "Let me see you cum," he told him as he slammed inside him once more.

Scott obeyed, cumming between their two bodies with a long, low moan. He was only thinking of Logan right now. How big Logan felt inside and how he was able to drive anything else away with his mere presence.

Logan watched as Scott came for him, the scent and sight overwhelming. He shoved Scott's legs back even further and began fucking him as hard and fast as he could. In less than a minute, it was over and he howled out his release as he came inside the other man.

Logan collapsed beside Scott on the bed, not wanting to crush him with his heavy Adamantium frame. He felt Scott’s hand move and start to scratch in that one perfect spot… He wouldn’t start to purr. The Wolverine would not and did NOT purr.

“I love it when you purr,” Scott murmured when the soft, steady purring sound started.



END.