The Marital Aid

Pairing: Logan/Remy/Bobby

Summary: In every marriage, there comes a time when something extra is needed to "spice" things up a bit.

Category: X-men slash, silly fluff

Distribution: Want. Take. Have.

Disclaimer: Stan Lee, Fox, some other people that aren't me.

~ Time: predawn, early morning. Location: Xavier's Mansion. Room: Logan & Remy LeBeau's private suite. ~

Cher? ::gently shakes large heavily muscled shoulder:: Cher, you be sleepin'?

::low rumbling growl which trails off into a sleepy jaw-popping yawn:: Yeah, Rem. I'm asleep. ::breathing evens out again into light snores::

Oh.

...

::long graceful fingers begin to gently tap out a rhythm on warm hairy flesh::

*tap-tap-tap-tap* *tap-tap-tap-tap* *tap-tap-tap-tap*

::one blurry blue eye pops open in the darkness::

*tap-tap-tap-tap* *tap-tap-tap-tap*

Rem?

Oui, cher?

Why ain't I asleep?

::two red on black eyes blink twice at tapping fingers and they jerk to a stop guiltily:: P'haps you can' sleep 'cause Bobby has de hots fo' Remy?

::a second blue eye springs open. neither are blurry any longer:: What?!?! ::rolls over in bed to stare goggle-eyed at sexy lover::

Oui, Remy knows. ::shakes head in mock confusion and real sadness:: Po' Bobby... all burnin' an' yearnin' fo' Remy an' hopin' Remy's lover don' gut 'im like a pig on de forth o July.

::blue eyes narrow down in an expression of doubt:: Rem, I love ya, but you're nuts. Drake's got a crush all right, but it ain't on ya. ::taps side of nose with one thick finger:: I can always tell when someone's got it bad for someone else.

::auburn eyebrows arch down in minor irritation:: Remy can tell dese t'ingz too. ::taps forehead:: Empat', r'member?

::scowls at sexy love-toy:: Then maybe ya should go visit Hank and have him tighten up what ever's loose in that head of yours, bub. I'm telling ya that your radar is off or something. It's *me* that Drake's got the sweats for. ::grins fang-toothed grin:: I can smell him getting turned on everytime we're in the same room together. Even when *you're* not there.

::blinks eyes rapidly at demented nearest and dearest:: Mon cher, Remy hate t' burst your bubble o smug pride, but Bobby be sendin' out serious feelin's of lust an' friendship. An' it all *aimed* at Remy, even when you out o de house.

::stares hard at lover for long moment while gears grind away inside of shaggy head:: Wait a minute there Rem. Are ya trying ta tell me that, not only does Drake get wood for *me*, but he's *also* got the fantasy thing going for ya as well?

::red eyes blink in momentary astonished thought:: Oui, cher. Remy is sayin' jus' dat. Po' Bobby, he got a crush on de *boaf* of us. ::tilts head slightly and peers up at the ceiling lost in thought:: He got goo' taste in men, t'ough... Can' fault 'im fo' dat.

::low rumbling chuckles echo through the early morning:: Nope. Can't find fault with his taste in men. ::chuckles fade away:: What should we do about this though?

::slow sexy smile spreads across handsome face:: Remy has a won'erful idea, mon cher... A mos' *won'erful idea.

~ Time: Early evening, post-sunset. Location: Xavier's Mansion. Room: Recreation room. ~

::two sets of eyes; one red on black, one blue on white, peer around the corner of the doorway into the recreation room. a sitcom is playing on the television and a man with dark blonde hair lounges half-asleep on the couch::

Okay, mon cher. You grab de Iceman and Remy will grab 'is video o Pinky an' de Brain. Dat will ensure Bobby's goo' behavior.

::low rumbling chuckle:: Right. On three.

Right. ::two bodies tense up, ready for battle:: Un. Du. Toi. ::two men; one short and one tall, bound into the room. the tall one grabs up a video cassette of taped cartoons while the other one dashes over to the sleeping man. without pausing, the shorter man leans down and scoops up the sleeping man, flipping him up across his broad sturdy shoulder. they start to make their way back out of the room::

Hey! What?! Where?! ::blinks rapidly:: Wolverine! Put me down right now! ::glances at tight muscular buns of admantium flexing in front of his currently upside-down face:: ...or I'll freeze your ass! I swear it.

::sexy smirk spreads across the taller man's face:: Now w'y would you do dat, mon ami? Dey such *nice* buns. Much to lov'ly to do a mean t'ing like dat to 'em.

::involuntary glance at those, indeed, lovely buns followed by a hasty gulp down a suddenly dry throat:: Um... where are you two taking me anyway? And, uh... what are you planning to do once we get there?

::two deep and delighted sets of chuckles echo down the hallway:: Don' worry Bobby, Remy *knows* dat you'll enjoy what be planned fo' you.

::a large meaty hand comes up and swiftly smacks Robert Drake on his upturned backside:: If you're a good boy and follow instructions well, that is...

~ Time: Mid morning. Location: Xavier's Mansion. Room: Logan & Remy LeBeau's private suite. ~

::one sleep filled eye blinks open when attempt to roll over fails:: What the?... ::dark blonde head pokes out from under the blankets, an expression of annoyed confusion on face::

Where the hell... ::eyes blink rapidly as he realizes that he is not in his own bedroom::

Go back to sleep Drake. ::a thickly muscled and hairy arm reaches out of the blankets and pulls him in, spooning him back against a thick and very warm muscular chest::

::the lump of blanket in front of him rolls over and a soft mane of auburn hair tucks itself under his chin, a warm wiggly weight squirming against his body to get comfy:: Shhh... Remy sleepin' now. Talk later, oui?

::big goofy grin spreads over his face as memories from last night's sexcapades kick in:: Sorry, guys. Just woke up in a room that's not mine. No big.

::warm wet kiss pressed against the back of his neck. another softer kiss pressed to his chest. drifts off to sleep again, silly smile stuck firmly on his lips::

END

(anyone want to fill in the smutty parts?)

Happy Holidays to all. {{{{Sentinel Cat}}}}
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