“Turn Around”
Author: Xantissa
Feedback: Oui. xantissa@wp.pl
Pairing: Logan/Remy
Disclaimer: sniff, sniff… I do not own them… sniff, sniff… Marvel does. Sniff…
Rating: NC-17 (lets be realistic. Did I ever wrote something that wouldn’t be of this particular rating?)
Summary: You can forgive, but do you can forget?
Warnings: Slash? Graphic m/m sex? Kinky clothes? Neh….
Series: Last in the series of “When the madness stops” and “Black Roses” (or at least I hope so!)
Thanks to: Techie for wonderful beta and LS for breathing down my neck so that I would finally finish it! And all my friends from Logan_Remy yahoo group, for all that beautiful feedback!
Archive: yes, just let me know.
Lyrics: “I love to see you cry” Enrique Iglesias
Turn Around
by Xantissa
Scott looked at the x-men trying to regain their breathing. Maybe he was a little too harsh on them today but the tension between Logan and Remy was driving him mad.
He looked at the Cajun leaning casually over the wall, his eyes hidden behind the ever present shades and hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. The duster was obscuring his figure as well as the harness hiding his bo staff.
He seemed relaxed but the very way he was tilting his head slightly to the right indicated that he wanted to keep Logan in his line of sight.
The Canadian however didn’t try to hide his actions and crouched in the right corner of the Danger Room, watching Remy intensely.
- Logan I think that it is finished. Our Fearless Leader decided to give us a chance to catch our breath again. – said Hank, hoping to drag Logan out of the room, before something happened. The air between the Canadian and the Cajun was just filled with so much electricity that nothing good would come from those two being together in the same room.
- I don’t think I’m finished here, Blue.
- Why?
- I think… that a little sparring would be good for me.
Bobby snorted.
- And who would be up to spar with you Logan? We are all wasted.
The other X-men murmured in agreement. All besides the red haired thief.
- Yo’ want to spar?
Everyone froze in place. Remy’s voice ranged clear and strong in the unnaturally silent room. Seven pairs of eyes turned to look at him. Everyone in the mansion noticed that Remy hasn’t spoken to Logan ever since his return from the vacation he took so suddenly.
And now, hearing him address Logan so casually made them stare.
Logan gave the thief a strange look. God knew he loved him. It took a lot of time and even more pain to finally realize it. But still there was so much hurt between them. Betrayal and anger. Remy knew he couldn’t forget their night together, still he made everything that was possible to force Logan to look at him and his escapades, knowing it would hurt him.
Now however something changed.
They locked gazes and stood still for a full minute.
- Yeah Gumbo, you up for it?
- One condition.
Logan arched his eyebrows in question.
- No rules.
Scott wanted to step forward and object. He knew those two had enough temper to kill themselves. The rules were needed, especially when dealing with them.
But a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He looked around to see Beast standing beside him and mouthing word “no”. He furrowed his brow, not understanding Beast’s reasons.
- They need it. – He looked into the dark, gentle eyes of the doctor and finally nodded. He was right.
- No rules. – Agreed Logan and moved to the center of the room.
He expected the standard greeting… acknowledgment from Remy… anything. What he got surprised even him.
In move so fast that he didn’t notice at first Remy used all that famous agility and jumped upwards, making a twist in the air and changing his direction dramatically. He pushed himself from the wall with his feet and used the added leverage to add even more speed to his movement. With the flexibility that probably only Kurt could beat he twisted and turned his body, doing a second flip in the air, releasing his bo staff and extending it in the full length.
Logan had only enough time to shift his position, but he was not ready for the incredible force of the blow. He actually snarled in pain as the end of Remy’s bo staff hit his collar bone with the speed and the weight of Remy combined with the free fall. He was pushed back on the nearby wall with such force that his teeth rattled and his arm pulsed with pain. He knew that if it wasn’t for his adamantium enhanced skeleton he would have the whole collarbone crashed to pieces.
He looked at the seemingly calm thief, bared his teeth and growled in low, menacing manner. He pushed himself from the wall and started circling Remy trying to gauge his reaction. He made a fatal mistake thinking that Remy would not have the guts to attack him with all he got and now he had to change his strategy. He knew that he will win. If anything he could just outwait the Cajun, his healing factor always made him invincible in hand to hand combat.
Remy stood straight and still, watching Logan with equal intensity. He knew the Canadian was probably using all his senses on him, gauging his breathing, his heartbeat… and he refused to show him anything.
He Started moving in counterpoint to Logan, keeping him always face to face, letting his bo staff make lazy circles, distracting Logan. all that tension, all the hurt the older man caused him so many weeks ago, was now changing into a boiling rage. He could feel his heartbeat quicken and used a relaxation technique to calm his breathing. Still he was to slow. He notice the shift in Logan when he heard the change in his breathing pattern and guessing correctly that something distracted Remy, he attacked. Remy managed to jump away from a fatal blow just mere seconds before it had a chance to hit him.
Three back flips till he was near the wall, all the time keeping check on Logan advancing on him and used the wall to push himself and jump over Logan landing behind the Canadian.
Never loosing his rhythm he took a wide swing with his bo staff and hit Logan in the side. This time however Logan was braced for the pain, expecting it and rolled with the blow getting to his feet almost instantly and attacking again. This time his fist hit his target.
All of the six remaining X-men watched in silence the fierce battle in front of them Everyone knew how Logan fought, no one ever got the chance on forcing him to yield during sparring and now, watching Remy avoid his blows and attack so skillfully and with seeming ease he jumped away from Logan’s reach.
However not always. He caught a few hard blows but didn’t show any pain. The two fighters were so focused on each other that they have completely forgotten the presence of the others.
Scott watched Remy with barely concealed surprised. He knew the kid was good at hand to hand combat but this… He was terrific and so… fierce. For the first time, Scott realized just how alike the two were…
Somehow Remy managed to keep his shades on throughout the fight and now was crouching near the east wall, watching Logan spit blood and whip his bloody lips with the back of his hand. His healing factor already took care of the wound caused by the blow that landed on his jaw.
Remy noticed the flaring nostrils and eyes changing suddenly to silver a little too late and didn’t manage to escape the 200 pounds of muscles and adamantium thrown at him and was forced to the ground, hitting the floor with a hard thump.
The bo staff flew away from his hand as his eyes tiered for a moment, when his breath was knocked out of him. But he had too much experience to let Logan get the upper hand so easily. They had a score to even there.
He jerked his knee up, heading for the sensitive junction of the Canadian’s thighs but Logan was no fool and shifted, changing his position so that his powerfully muscled thigh pressed his legs flat to the floor.
Remy snarled and jerked under him, hating the hopelessness of his position. Logan locked his eyes with Remy and tightened his grip on the slender wrists of the thief, keeping it hard and painful while his body pressed him brutally to the ground.
- Do ya yield Cajun? – Aksed Logan, his upper hand obvious.
Still Remy wasn’t one to yield so soon. He used the only weapon he still had and looking straight into those almost feral eyes, he arched his head and pressed his lips to Logan’s, forcing his tongue behind the lips still tasting of blood. Neither of them noticed the gasp that followed his action and the evident shock on the faces of their fellow teammates.
He heard Logan gasp and used the moment to deeper the kiss, darting deep inside and not caring if he scrapped the mans lips with his teeth. The low growl that came from Logan was simultaneous with the slight change in the Canadians hold and Remy used it, driving his knee hard between his legs, forcing a howl from Logan.
The Canadian expected Remy to roll over and escape so was completely taken aback when the Cajun lunged for his bo staff and then turned back to him, kneeling over him and pressing the tip of the bo staff to his throat.
They were both panting and sweating and Logan hated that he couldn’t see Remy’s eyes. There was something going on here, and he wasn’t sure he knew what.
- Got you.
- Ya sure Gumbo? – Asked Logan but there was something in his voice that suggested that it wasn’t totally about their position.
Before the Cajun had the time to answer he heard a distinct “snick” of the claws being released and jumped just in time to see his bo staff slashed in few neat parts.
However Logan didn’t intent on letting it go to easily. He launched at Remy, his claws still extended and with satisfaction saw Remy flinch, even as he used one of his famous back flips to escape from his range.
Everything seemed to freeze for a moment. They found themselves in the original position they started, staring at each other. Gauging, watching… Remy slowly took his glasses of, revealing his gleaming red on black eyes, fastened only on Logan. He then slowly proceeded to take his duster off, his movements careful, speaking clearly of injury.
Remy noticed how Logan’s nostrils flared when he caught the scent of blood. Never once averting his eyes from Logan, Remy let the coat land on the floor. He was now only in his black, tight body armor that revealed his muscles as well as three thin, shallow gashes on his stomach. Logan did got him with his claws…
Scott had had enough and decided to step in. they would kill themselves if left alone. But he was stopped short by a telepathic command send to all of the x-men except Logan and Remy, who were not paying attention to them anyway.
~We should leave them. Now~
He wanted to argue but decided to trust his wife. Maybe it was best to let them figure thing out themselves. Not that it was much of a secret in the Mansion. Their cold silence and anger were to much like a “lovers fight” to be left unnoticed.
Still unsure, he turned to leave, deciding to go the control room and watch from there.
Remy waited. He knew Logan would attack once more. He took his gales off to show Logan what he was feeling. To show all the hurt and betrayal he felt.
/How could you leave me?/
His eyes seemed to ask the question and he licked a bead of sweat that formed on his upper lip.
Logan watched the movement, mesmerized by the pink, wet tongue moving so skillfully… he remembered the Cajuns sweet taste mixed with his blood and it pushed him onto a frenzy. He loved that damned Kid, but God knows Remy knew how to be cruel. He deliberately let Logan watch him with those other lovers, watch him give what Logan wanted for himself!
With a fierce growl he attacked. Remy avoided the claws and hit Logan in the arm. It shouldn’t be more than a slight punch but Logan found himself flying backwards and hitting the nearby wall with shocking force. His nostrils were filled with the sharp scent of burned cloth and skin. Shocked he looked down to see a patch of burned cloth and his skin, pink and healing now. Then he moved his eyes to Remy, His eyes were glowing fiery and his palms also with the charge.
Scott sighed at the sight. He never knew that Remy had so much control over his powers, to charge Logan’s skin at the mere contact?
He watched them fight. Watched the twist and turn of the Cajuns lithe body. He could tell that none of them pulled the blows. Remy took some more scratches, always managing to avoid serious wounds and Logan got his shirt in burning shreds. He could feel the desperate need in both of them, as if that fight was something especially important.
What surprised Scott was the fact that although they both spilled blood, none of them really lost control. He could understand Remy, but Logan? He expected the Canadian to go feral long time ago.
It took finally almost an hour of constant attack and retreats to tire the Cajun down.
Remy was crouching near the corner of the Dander Room, breathing heavily. His hair were now loose from his ponytail, wet strands clinging to the face flushed from effort. His lips were parted as he took gulps of air. He was flexing his right hand, a little sore form connecting with the hard body of the Canadian.
Never once, during the whole thing, did he take his eyes from Logan. The Canadian shrugged his shirt off and wa snow left with bare chest. His muscles were rippling with every move he made, speaking clearly of the sheer power in this body. Sweat had clamped the curly hair covering it and gave him strangely attractive look. Wild, fierce and so real…
When Logan moved, they started their dance once again. An old song played in Remy’s mind.
“Maybe I just, wanna touch you
Feel you warm inside again
Maybe I jus’, wanna hurt you
The sweetest pleasure is pain
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
But I love to see you cry
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
It jus’ makes me feel alive”
Movement, sound and a gasp, when a fist connected with the flesh. A swish of air as Remy whirled around, coming to stop behind the Canadian.
“Are you coming to the moment
When you know your heart can break?”
Two flat pals pressed to the small of Logan’s back gave him just a moment to brace himself or the pain. Then there was a sharp sound of explosion and the room swirled in front of his eyes.
The first thing Logan noticed after coming back to his senses was scent. The maddening, sharp, spicy scent of the thief lingering on his skin, in his memory and in the air, driving him mad with love, desire and pain. He hurt. He was guilty and he was ashamed fro his actions, but Remy was no angel… at least a fallen one.
“I’m inside you, I’m around you
I jus’ wanna hear you cry again
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
But I love to see you cry
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
It jus’ makes me feel alive…”
Re gasped when he was pressed into the floor once again, Logan hands now slippery with sweat were pinning him down, his silver eyes staring at him. All the emotions, the hurt, the love… the hate… the anger. It all boiled down to that cruel, physical contact they both seemed to need.
Remy knew he had lost then. He was exhausted and his body was battered. There was no chance of winning for him, but still he tried. He fought and squirmed under the heavy body, his fingers scratching knees trying to connect with something.
When he drove his fingers under Logan’s jaw, scratching till he saw blood, Logan rolled them in the effort to break Remy desperate hold.
All the time they were keeping they stare contest, asking questions but none of them answered…
Suddenly Logan rolled them so that Remy was on top. He let go of the Cajun’s shoulders and hit the floor with his palm two times in the sign of yielding.
Remy stilled, watching the older mutant through the damp bangs, the song still replying in his mind in some kind of hysteric reaction. He searched answers on Logan’s eyes. Why did he yield? He would have won eventually. Somewhere deep inside his mind, Remy knew that from the very beginning. But he still fought as if it was more than that… and maybe it was.
- Why? – He asked, his body still and unmoving, breathing hard and heavy.
Logan reached his hand and touched the sharp cheekbone where a bruise was already forming. Gently he traced his fingertip down hi his jaw, relishing the contact he was denied for so long.
- You won. – And he wasn’t talking about the fight.
Remy understood but refused to acknowledge it. He wanted to get up and leave, to turn his back on Logan like he did before but… There was something unsetting in Logan so pliant, so defeated…
Logan moved his fingers to trace Remy’s lips with them, recalling how it felt that night in front of the TV. He felt the tiny beads of sweat and could smell the salt of them. He extended his senses listening to the furious heartbeat, smelling the sweat, blood and… emotions on Remy.
Slowly, seeing that the thief didn’t flinch away from his touch he cupped his face in his rough hand leaned closer to kiss him. It was a small, chaste kiss. Only his lips exploring his. The softness of his skin, the warmth of his lips…
To his surprised Remy didn’t jerk away, nor did he respond. He allowed Logan to kiss him, his lips warm and pliant, but he refused to answer the kiss.
- Remy… - Barely a whisper, just a warm breath against his lips.
- What do you want from me? – Remy asked gently, his voice strangely shaking.
- I want you Remy…
- You already had me Logan. You wasted your chance. You left me.
- I want a second chance…
The Cajun closed his eyes and stilled for a moment, then stood up in one swift movement. Logan followed, sensing that it was his only chance to change something between them.
- Remy… - it was a question, a plead… His voice so quiet and vulnerable like never before.
Remy just shook his head, rising his hands and cutting off any discussion.
- Non.
He turned to leave, his back stiff, head bowed so that his hair would hide his face and the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.
- Why?! – Shouted Logan after him. He was terrified that Remy would leave and close that part of their lives behind. That his last chance could be wasted.
Remy stopped, but didn’t look at him. His voice was so low, that only his enhanced hearing allowed him to hear the words.
- It hurt too much…
Fear and anger boiled in him, sheer desperation forcing the angry words from his lips:
- Dammit Remy! Life hurts! It’s just the way it is. Are you such a coward that you prefer to hide that to try to fight again? Can’t you forgive me?!
- Forgive? I have already done that.
- So why?
Remy looked over his shoulder at Logan. his eyes strangely sad and longing. Logan could swear he sensed that Remy wanted them to try again, but there was something that was holding him back.
- It is easy to forgive Logan. – A gentle whisper, filled with something very painful – But to forget… I don’t know.
This time Remy didn’t say anything. He just turned and left silently, like a ghost.
Logan screwed his eye shut and hit the wall with his fist putting all his strength into the blow, wishing that the bones would break. His arm throbbed and eyes stinging suspiciously as he slid to the floor, hiding his face in his hands, feeling such a great sense of loss.
Chapter 2
When Remy woke he felt - better.
Logan would be here, he could go on with his life, always with Logan nearby.
He wouldn't hurt like that, ever again. Never. Logan wanted him to forget about all that hurt Logan caused him by his sudden leave. But Remy had forgotten far moo much in his short life. Forgotten each time he was shooed, despised, beaten, hurt… but he couldn't do that no more. His trust was broken once too much.
Still he had to admit that he never felt like he did now. Never did he hurt so much or felt such anger. The urge to hurt, to lash out on Logan was so strong… so unlike him. He did wonder about his viciousness.
It was against his nature to lash out like this, to hurt Logan time and time again with deadly accuracy. Some part of his mind knew Logan loved him, but the other, the one that kept him alive all those years on the streets, told something different. Logan may think he loves him, but was it a real feeling?
Some little voice inside his mind told him, that he had a purpose in his actions. One he still didn't realize.
Pulling on his shirt, he stepped outside, and froze.
Logan's door was open, and he never left his door open. He was an intensely private man.
Unable to resist, he peeked inside - and his heart plummeted to his stomach.
Neatly folded, the sheets were on top of the stripped bed. The few photographs were gone, the ancient swords no longer on the chest of drawers, nestled in the wooden stand.
Something in him twisted at the realization. His vision blurred when memories came back, of that dreadful morning after their one and only night together.
His shock when Scott told him that Logan left. The shame and the hateful feeling of being dirty. He gave himself to Logan freely, thinking that the other man respected him. But all he got was a rejection.
No, he wouldn't! Couldn't! Remy cried, silently. Not after....
He turned and ran down the steps, finding Jean sitting at the table, deep in thought. She glanced up at him.
"Logan's gone!" Remy blurted, aware that he wasn't making a great deal of sense.
Jean's green eyes darkened with sadness. "Yes, Remy, he left last night while you were sleeping." she said, reaching out to take the red-haired thief's hand.
A mission, must be a mission. Remy's thoughts made sense and he felt a sense of relief. "When he comin' back?" he asked, squeezing her hand.
"He isn't."
Those two simple words and Remy felt something inside him shatter.
"He...but....I..."
"Logan left you a note." Jean said, trying to be as gentle as possible. Reaching over, she took the sheet of paper and passed it to a disbelieving Remy.
"I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry, Remy. I know how life can be, painful and too full of memories that hurt. But it's time to end this game. I know you had every right to want to hurt me. I knew every lover you had, and every time you had another one it hurt me. I think you wanted that, Remy, or maybe you needed it. So I'm leaving. I won't be back, Remy. You deserve better. So I'm doing what you want. I'm letting you go. I want you to be happy, Remy. For what it is worth, I'll always love you. Be happy, my love, and be whole. I won't ask you to forget. I'll just ask you to remember the good times we had. The friendship we shared.
Good-bye.
Logan"
"Non." Remy's voice came out a choked sound he didn't recognize. "Why....?"
"Because he loved you enough to let you go." Jean's voice was infinitely sad. Once, Logan had done the same for her. And she could only love him for it.
Memories scrambled through Remy's mind, of lover after lover, of knowing Logan was aware of them - why was he showing them to him? Hurting him to just - twist the knife? He had thought, believed, that they were just diversions, just sex. Nothing more. But - was he just being petty? Cruel? Vicious?
Yes. Some part of his should, the dark one that was hurt jut once too much wanted to do all those cruel, hard things to Logan. But why? Why did he act in a way that was so against his nature?
Did he hate Logan?
Yes. Because there was no hate without love. And it was so much easier to hold to that cold feeling that kept him alive, kept him whole for so long.
There comes a moment in every person's life when they realize they were capable of cruelty and even evil. Most broke under the pressure. A few embraced the negative portion of themselves without care. Then - a few realized it was a wake-up call. The instant where they could no longer see themselves as a complete innocent.
Remy been playing the victim. the young Cajun thought, staring down at the paper. Maybe if....if I had given Logan a chance, talked t' him - but I didn't. I 'xpected t' be able t' forget - but can't. Mon Dieu, not 'cause I can't forget de pain, but 'cause I can't forget Logan.
"Where he go, Jean?" he asked, carefully folding the paper up and sliding it inside his trenchcoat. His eyes were angry, but not at Logan. At least not entirely Not anymore. At himself. For torturing a man who had known nothing but torture. For falling for a very human need to lash out, rather than embrace.
"I don't know." the young woman replied, softly, gently, squeezing his hand. "But he set you free."
"Remy don' wan' be free!" it was wrenched from him. "Don' wan'....be without...." His gaze turned determined. He couldn't let this go. And maybe he'd never forget. But then again, would Logan? Would he forget that Remy didn't talk to him, but just started a succession of lovers, in and out of his bed?
"It may be too late Remy." Jean was watching him, heart aching for them both. "Logan needs his self-respect back. His....dignity." Her hand caressed the thief's and she hurt as his horrified gaze shot up to meet her's. "He gave that away to you, but he can't live like he was. Remy, let him go. For both your sakes. He hurt you badly, you hurt him badly...."
“He called Remy a coward because he can't give him a second chance” Remy hissed , hiding his pain under the anger “but who is he?! To run away… again! Who is de coward here?
“Don't you think that you should let him go, Remy? There is so much hurt between you…”
"Remy make dis right." he said, and wrenched loose, running up the stairs.
He banged into his room, feeling dampness on his cheeks and not caring as he threw some clothes into an old duffle bag, grabbed a few maps and his cell phone, and stared up at the moon. "Remy gonna find y', mon amour." Oh, but it hurt to say the last two words. Hurt because they were tender. Hurt because they were true. "Remy gonna find his Wolverine." he whispered, brokenly, starting back down the stairs.
He loved the man, he understood it now. Loved him long before they ended up in bed. He remembered all those nights they spend sitting on veranda drinking and talking about things that mattered and those that didn't. they had a relationship long before they even realized it.
His love was obvious to him, And he knew that if he once fell in love, he would love forever. He just didn't know any other way and that was the reason he guarded his heart so carefully. But could he trust Logan? Could he trust that if something happened, Logan would stand beside him? When he run twice now…
Suddenly his hands stilled and a single tear run down his cheek. Suddenly it all made sense. Slowly he sank to the floor hiding his face in his hands. All his lovers he flung on Logan, that terrible night when Michael took him against a glass wall, when Logan watched… it was all on purpose. And it wasn't to hurt Logan as much as “test” him.
By leaving, Logan lost his trust and subconsciously Remy put him through the worst trying to believe that Logan would not give up on him.
But he did.
Shaking himself from his state he got up and went to the bathroom. After splashing some cold water on his still flushed from crying face, he took the duffle bag and left the Mansion without a word.
* * *
Remy knocked at the door, but when he got no answer he started banging his fist into it.
Suddenly the door swung open and a little dishelmed and sleepy Dominique was staring at without even a trace of friendliness. She opened her mouth to scold him for waking her up so early but one look at his wild eyes stopped her short.
She opened the door wider in quiet invitation and directed her stops to the kitchen, trusting that Remy will follow her.
Michael sitting at the small table reading the morning paper arched his brow at the strange state Remy was in.
“Something happened, Remy?” he asked his sometimes-lover.
Remy stilled himself. He knew he had no right to demand anything from them but eh was desperate and didn't want to involve other x-men in his matters. Besides he needed to find Logan and the X-men had problems finding him, if Logan wanted to disappear.
“Will you do Remy a favor?” he asked the woman, softly.
Dominique took a sip of her tea and at him as if seeking an answer.
“It's about that man that was watching you.” It wasn't a question.
During the weeks he knew her, he realized that she must have had some powers although he was just a human. She was also very perceptive, always understanding a lot more that others.
Remy nodded his head.
“Remy need's to find de homme.”
She looked somewhere over his shoulder, focusing her eyes on a thing that surely wasn't visible to Remy.
“You have to give him hope, Remy. He does not understand…” He swallowed a little scared, a little anxious. Her eyes, cold and sharp send shivers down his spine while he watched her take a small piece of paper and write something on it.
“You will find him there.”
“Merci.” he said taking the note and leaving the house, knowing he would not come back there.
* * *
Logan stopped the car and got out of it. He needed to stretch his legs after driving for 12 hours straight. He barely managed to get to the tree line when he heard an engine. He turned to see a black, sleek motorcycle head towards him with a breakneck speed. It looked vaguely familiar…
Then he saw the figure clad in tight, leather bodysuit with a dark helmet and something in his chest tightened, his body recognizing the Cajun before his mind had the chance.
The motorcyclist stopped the bike with a splash of gravel, mere inches from Logan. When the engine was killed, a strange silence followed.
Logan watched Remy reach up and free his rich, thick auburn hair from the confines. He got lost for a second in all the color, seen while the summer sun cursed through the rich mane.
Red on black eyes stared into him, fierce, aggressive and full of something that made his breath catch. Still there was so much anger in Remy… and Logan couldn't understand why? After all he did what the kid wanted from him. He let go…
Remy secured the machine and then leaped on Logan, cursing wildly in French. He backhanded the stunned Logan, watching with satisfaction the little drop of blood form the split lip.
“Wh…?” Logan was too stunned to react.
“How dare you!” hissed Remy, his eyes burning like fires of hell
“What is this all about, Gambit?!” Finally Logan was loosing his patience. He gave Remy everything, offered his dignity, his heart… and all he got was rejection.
“You call Remy a coward dat he don't wanna give you 'nother chance. And what do you do, Logan? Escape? With your tale curled like a dog?”
Suddenly all anger disappeared from Logan. he was tired and hurt… and without hope. He turned his eyes from the raging man, not wanting to see just how beautiful he was, how he wanted to bury his face in that soft, silky hair.
“I did what you wanted me to, Remy… I left. You made it clear enough.
There was a long silence between them.
“Did I?”
Logan turned at the sot voice speaking in first person for the first time. The Canadian sighed, completely lost and hurting so much inside.
“What do you want Remy? Twist the knife one more time?”
“I want a man that will FIGHT for me. That will FIGHT for my love. A man that would NEVER gave up on me.” Remy caught fistfuls of Logan's shirt and started intently in his eyes. “I wanted someone who would BE there for me! For a moment I thought that you would be that man. But you ESCAPE at the very sight of difficulties! Twice already! And who is the coward here, Logan? Certainly not me."
Logan pushed Remy away.
“You pushed me away! I wanted to make things between us right, but you didn't want to even listen to me! You didn't allow me to get near!” Angry and hurt, Logan nearly growled at him.
Remy stopped, regarding him with cold consideration, his eyes hiding so much that it made Logan's heart wrench.
“Once I gave myself to you freely. But it was not enough. You have thrown me away like a piece of trash.” Remy took his helmet and prepared to put it on once again. “You ask what I want.” Asked Remy looking over his shoulder at the Canadian. “I want for you to fight for me, to struggle for me… I want you to give yourself to me like I did all those months ago. If you are not man enough to do it, you better go, curl your tail and run because I don't want to you again. And don't you dare to ever think that it was my fault, because I gave you the choice. But I will not give you months this time. You have three days to decide what you want and if you are man enough for me. If you don't come back by then, it'll be over once and for all.”
With those last, shocking words Remy mounted his bike and kicked it to life, speeding away as if all hell was hot on his tale, leaving shocked Logan behind, staring at him with wide eyes and only now forming understanding.
Chapter 3
Remy sighed and dawned another shot. The burn traveling down his throat and the warmth in his stomach was welcomed, although he still felt cold. He was feeling… edgy. He raised his head, his eyes covered by the ever present shades, scanned the crowded club. He KNEW he wouldn't find Logan there. It was the third day after all.
He glanced at his watch cursing the numbers, that told him that his hope was vain.
Remy turned around on the bar stool, his long legs crossed in the ankles, hugged by the tightest of pants, made of the leather soft as butter. His position exposed the black boots with countless silver buckles.
Perfectly aware of his looks, he leaned on his elbows on the bar behind him, making his fishnet shirt stretch even tighter on his muscled chest. He almost felt the looks directed at him. He pulled his hair free from the band, letting it spill across his shoulders and shook his head, so that some unruly bangs fell on his face, making it even more unreadable.
He was not going to hurt. He gave Logan a chance and if he was too stupid to accept, so be it.
The warm feel of alcohol in his stomach and the hypnotizing beat of the music that he could feel deep inside his body, made him reckless. He would not hurt.
Slowly, deliberately he started letting go of all his shields, letting his empathy pick up on all the emotions swirling inside the dark club.
Before he knew it his body started moving to the rhythm. He closed his eyes and let the emotions ovewhelm him.
/Lust / Desire/ Affection / Anxiety/… it all swirled together making a heady combination. /Joy/
His mind, through the haze he was in, managed to catch the words of a song, that had just started. Slow, sensual and so painfully romantic that it burned itself deep into his mind.
"You are the candle, love's the flame
A fire that burns through wind and rain"
He left the bar and moved to the dance floor, his eyes partly closed, mind swirling in the sea of warm, honey thick emotions emanating form the young, dancing crowd.
"Shine your light on this heart of mine
Till the end of time"
Once surrounded by the moving, living sea of people he started dancing. He closed his eyes, thrown his head back and gave himself to the soft, romantic beat. He felt the sensual stretch of his fishnet shirt on his stomach and loved the feeling.
"You came to me like the dawn through the night
Just shinin' like the sun"
The emotions around him shifted. /Awe/ Admiration/ Lust stronger than before… Some part of his mind realized that it was because of him, but it was not important. He let them watch as long as their emotions pushed his own out of his mind.
"Out of my dreams and into my life
You are the one, you are the one"
Hands, at first hesitant and unsure, touching his back. Gauging, checking… hoping.
He moved his head to the side, letting his eyes open just a little bit behind his shades to catch a glimpse of a young blonde man, a boy really, swaying to the rhythm behind him.
The stranger realized he was being watched and gave Remy a small, shy smile. His pale gray eyes lit with attraction and honest hope. Remy opened his shields to him even more, feeling the anxiousness swirling in the other man, the attraction warm and thick as molasses and arched his back, pressing a little harder into the gentle touch, letting the boy know that he had nothing against his presence.
The sudden burst of sheer happiness and hope pushed all and every thought out of his mind.
"Said I loved you but i lied
'cause this is more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you but I was wrong
'cause love could never ever feel so strong
Said I loved you but I lied"
* * *
Logan watched the Cajun sway to the music. His hair were loose and swayed in counterpoint to his moves, framing his face. Some stray bands stuck to his moist lips, parted slightly giving his face even more abandoned looks.
He watched as the leather pants hugged his body so maddeningly, exposing each and every muscle in almost indecent way. He was the powerful yet still looking very graceful thighs tense and flex under the leather. He watched the sexy shirt with sleeves just a little too long, hug his chest like a lover. If he focused enough he could fee the stiff nipples under the metallic-looking material.
He wished he could smell him, smell the obvious desire and abandon on him. It was months since he saw Remy so relaxed, so lost in his own world that nothing seemed important anymore.
Something in his chest clenched at seeing the young boy move a little closer to the dancing Cajun and experimentally press his chest against that long, graceful back.
Logan could tell the boy was hesitant and still unsure if such a sensual creature like Remy wouldn't push him way. Although Remy was absolutely lost in his own word, hips swaying to the music, body twisting and moving to he rhythm, he still managed to keep that aura of mysteriousness and slight sense of danger around him.
He remembered what the Cajun said to him on that road, almost three days ago.
// I want you to fight for me, to struggle for me… I want you to give yourself to me like I did all those months ago.//
So he would. No one would ever touch the thief again. Only him. He would do anything to win him.
His mind made up he started his way to the dancing floor.
* * *
Remy was jerked out of his strange state of dreaming awake when he felt hand on his hips, pulling them back to press into hard muscled body behind him. The sheer strength of the man he felt on the not quite gentle hands and the body, hard as a rock behind him, told him it was not the shy boy he was dancing with earlier.
"With all my soul I've tried in vain
How can mere words my heart explain"
But when the arms circled him once more, one wide, rough palm resting on his flat stomach, letting him feel the warmth sipping through the barely existent cloth, he realized he knew who it was.
"This taste of heaven so deep so true
I've found in you"
His body tensed in shock. How like Logan to come when he wasn't expecting him.
Remy felt one strong, thick thigh press between his legs, forcing his feet apart and then Logan's hips pressed to his. They were now back to chest, Logan's hand on his stomach keeping him close and then, to his utter shock Logan started moving, swaying them both to the rhythm.
He never expected to dance with Logan. Especially when the older man was leading! He wanted to turn his face, to look at Logan. He needed to see his face, see his answer there.
"So many reasons in so many ways
My life has just begun"
Remy felt the other hand tangle into his hair and pull his head slightly backwards, forcing it gently to rest on Logan's shoulder.
All was lost on Remy. The heat, the noise of the club. The other dancers watching him with envy and lust. Only that solid presence behind him.
"I didn't give up." He more felt the hot gush of moist air on his sensitive ear that really heard the words, but it was enough. It was all he needed to hear.
"Need you forever, I need you to stay
You are the one, you are the one"
He closed his eyes, arching his lithe body so that he was pressed snugly into the hard body of the Canadian behind him and melted into the strong embrace, letting Logan arrange them as he would.
"You came to me like the dawn through the night
Just shinin' like the sun
Out of my dreams and into my life
You are the one, you are the one"
Something dark that made itself a home deep in his soul seemed to disappear. A small smile, this time real one, made it's way to his lips and he raised his hands above his head wishing to appear as sensual and seductive as he could.
Because all his life he waited only for someone who would not give up on him. No matter what he did. How he behaved… would never turn on him.
Remy closed his eyes once again, but this time to savor the reality not forget it. no words were needed between them as he let his body gyrate and brush against Logan, pressed so tightly that they almost seemed to be one.
The Canadian's hands came to rest on his front. One hand with fingers stretched widely was still resting on his belly, nearly covering it and the other started touching his chest through the think material.
"Said I loved you
But this is more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you....but I lied"
The song came to and end, but Logan didn't stop dancing, swaying them together as if they were born to do it, their bodies so in tune with each other… And all the time he could feel the warm breath brushing his rear and neck.
Slowly, without a word he pried Logan's hands of his body and interlaced their fingers.
Logan looked at him, a little surprised by the sudden move, but since Remy's eyes were hidden behind the sunglasses, he really couldn't read anything from them. So instead he relied on his senses, listening to his slightly faster heartbeat and shallow breathing. He inhaled deeply, smelling happiness and desire on the Cajun.
Slowly making their way through the dancing crowd, Logan allowed Remy to lead him out, to the sweet smelling, cool night.
* * *
The door closed behind him with a soft click, but Logan didn’t notice. All his attention focused on the incredibly beautiful, sensual creature holding his hand and leading him deeper into the room.
It was dark inside but neither of them needed much light. He kept looking back at the hand he was holding. At first he felt strange seeing the black nail polish on the kids fingernails. But after the first shock he found it… attractive. All throughout the journey to the small apartment, he kept glancing at the shining, black lacquer feeling something warm stir inside him. He never thought he would have such… kinks?
Remy let go of his hand and then slowly turned to look at him, maybe for the first time since their meeting in the club.
Logan watched the red-green neon light play with his loose auburn hair, now looking like a liquid fire, softly framing his face. Ever so slowly Remy took his glasses off, tossing them carelessly on the bedside table.
His movements were casual but his demon eyes were locked on Logan all the time.
Logan gasped a little, when his enhanced sight, allowed him to see the unusually dark and thick eyelashes. It took him a moment to realize that Remy’s eyes seemed bigger and more enticing because he used mascara!
The fact should thrown him off, really. After all what males would use make up? But Remy… he was such a sensual creature living in complete and utter agreement with his sexuality, that the fact that he had make up wasn’t shocking. It was subtle and Logan really noticed it because he knew the Cajun.
Remy, still staring into his eyes, smiled letting the corner of his mouth curve a little. He started backing off towards the large, four poster bed till his knees hit the edge of the furniture and he sat, never loosing his gracefulness. He let his long, clad in the thinnest leather legs to spread before him and leaned back. He rested on his elbows, perfectly aware of the way his fishnet shirt stretched on his pectoral muscles, making his erect nipples stand out even more sharply.
Remy’s eyes glinted with something… mischief, arousal and strange softness. After so many months of seeing only despising coldness in them, Logan found himself overwhelmed by the intensity of the feelings.
He watched the strong, long legs stretched so languidly in front of the Cajun, and those red on black eyes watching him intently. Quickly catching the meaning of that look, he approached and in one fluid motion fell to his knees, between the boy’s legs.
His sensitive hearing caught the sudden hitch in Remy’s breathing pattern and he put his hand on the soft, body warm leather. Slowly, focusing all his senses only on that task, he stroked slowly from the knee to the strong thigh and then, equally slowly to the ankle, closing his hand over it, nearly circling it and feeling the tendons flexing lightly. Carefully, still looking Remy in the eyes, he started unbuckling each and every silver buckle on the fancy fuck-me boots, Remy was wearing. He had to admit, that the mere outfit of the Cajun had him so hard it hurt.
Remy wasn’t long to participate in Logan’s game. He stretched languidly on the floor and arched his spine with a soft moan, barely audible but for Logan’s enhanced senses it was like a flood.
He watched he thief arch his back in a sensual tease as he slid the other boot off. The lashes thick with mascara fluttered over his flushed cheeks and then opened, giving the dark room a faint, red glow.
Logan watched the two red lasers move towards him and then, Remy pulled himself up on his elbows and then started crawling backwards, still staring Logan in the eyes.
This time however Logan didn’t allow him to gain any distance and followed him, crawling on the bed on all fours and then crawling over Remy, who only smiled at him and moved his long arms, hugged by the silver fishnet over his head, idly playing with the loose strands of his hair that were now lying on the pillow like a dark, warm pool of silk.
Logan wondered if Remy was aware how he looked. Was it a practiced pose or merely a display of his inner sensuality? Slowly, still staring into that red on black eyes, he lowered his head to his chest, exposed by the kinky shirt and fastened his lips over the nipple, partially visible through the holes in the material.
He sucked hard, furiously almost, till he felt Remy jerk under him and entwine his fingers in his hair. Pulling. Panting… smelling of warmth and lust.
Logan growled and bit the hardened nipple, quite hard, not entirely in control. A muffled scream was his answer and a sharp tug on his hair. Obediently he lifted his head to look into the thief’s eyes.
Remy lips were parted, wet… he was panting and his face was flushed even brighter red. The mascara made his eyes look bigger and darker in the darkness of the room lit only by the flickering, neon red lights from outside the window.
Or a long moments they were staring into each other, trying to find answers to questions that were never asked. Trying to look deeper into soul, to understand… to know if there would be forgiveness between them.
Although Remy obviously accepted Logan back, there was still old hurt and more than a little bitterness. They tried to forget, forgive.. but the past had the effect on them now. Logan felt stronger, more aggressive than ever with his lovers and Remy was so lost inside himself, that all seemed blurry and affected him in unusual way.
Logan bit him hard, sending incredible shocks of pleasure/pain down his spine. He panted and stared at the older man, on his hands and knees above him, hiding the whole words behind his muscled arms. So strong… so feral…
As an answer to a question that was never asked aloud, Remy tipped his chin up, baring his throat, giving Logan permission to do everything he liked.
With a soft growl Logan lowered himself partly on the bed, partly on the tall kid stretched so sinuously beneath him and kissed his neck. When he heard a soft sigh from Remy, he bit so hard, he nearly draw the blood at then soothed the area with gentle laps of his tongue.
He felt Remy’s hands clench on his arms and his painted nails bit into his skin. He continued for a while, cherishing the eager, breathless sounds coming form Remy and the red passion marks on his pale throat, marking him as his. His only.
Finally, after what seemed eternity, Logan raised his head again, perfectly ware that the skin on Remy’s neck is now tender, raw and so very sensitive. He drew a single blunt finger over the abused flesh, making Remy shudder and mean helplessly. The scent of their mixed arousal was strong in the air and Logan knew, without even touching Remy that he was already leaking pre-come. He could smell it, almost taste it.
Instead he leaned closer, touching his lips to the Cajun for the first time. In contrast to his actions, the kiss was nearly painfully delicate, leaving Remy frustrated and wanting so much more! He opened his lips and invited Logan deeper for a wet, passionate kiss that showed the depth of their emotions. The love, anger, lust, hurt… all this in a single kiss.
Finally they broke, needing the air. Logan moved lower, making sure with his eyes that Remy understood that he was supposed to stay like this, with his arms over his head and legs splayed wide to accommodate him.
The thief nodded and waited.
Logan quickly unbuttoned his leather pants and tugged them harshly down, exposing the naked flesh underneath. He threw the pants away, not caring where they landed and took in the sight of his lover’s arousal.
He was so different than himself. Long, pale column of swollen flesh was almost elegant. He watched the vein pulsing on the underside and listened to the labored breathing of the younger man. The silver fishnet still hugged his upper body and Logan was incredibly reluctant to get it off of him. The Cajun looked so incredibly hot.
"Touch yourself…" he said in a surprisingly harsh tone while he got up from the bed ad started divesting himself of the clothing, his eyes focused on the straining erection jutting out of the patch of soft, curly auburn locks and pale, pale thighs that threatened to drive him mad.
He watched the agile hands of master thief slide slowly down his fishnet clad torso, the long fingers framed with the incredibly black fingernails touching sensually his stomach and then playing with the curl at the base of his member, not quite touching… he watched Remy watching him.
Remy never looked away from him, while his one hand encircled his hard erection and started caressing gently, sliding his fist up an down that incredible column of swollen flesh.
The smell of arousal got stronger and Logan’s nostril flared. His cock twitched in anticipation, his body reacting not only to visual stimuli but also to the scent and sound. He could actually hear the sound of the skin on skin, the rustle of fabric again fabric and the blood pulsing in Remy’s veins.
Mesmerized he watched the other hand. The slim fingers that played with his hair for s brief moment, then moved to his face. He watched Remy close his eyes completely for a moment and then trace his own brows and eyelids with just his fingertips, sighing softly at the sensation.
Logan could barely breath seeing Remy like this. Half naked, with his one hand caressing his cock and other softly touching his own face. Such hedonism, such pleasure taken from the simples touch left Logan absolutely helpless.
When Remy sucked two of his fingers into his mouth, Logan’s breath hitched. Remy sucked on the digits for a moment, making little wet sounds and then, seemingly not aware of Logan’s gaze he moved his hand lower, between his widely open, long legs and closed the wet, glistening with saliva fingers over the heavy sac, giving it a light pull and caressing it.
Logan actually growled at the sight, low dangerous sound that caused the red on black eyes flutter open. They looked for a moment at each other and then Remy broke the stare. He let go of himself and stretched over the bed reaching to the night drawer and pulling a small jar of clear gel.
Logan sat on the bed, between those sinful legs that seemed to open just for him and dropped his gaze lower, staring at the little, puckered entrance to his lovers body.
He touched those legs, stroking them kneading the muscles lightly, all the time watching Remy from the corner of his eyes. He saw the thief open the jar and then dip his fingers into it.
He looked up and caught Remy’s misted eyes as he slid his two slick fingers behind him and then between his cheeks.
Logan still stroked his legs, watching those fingers circle the tight opening coating it liberally in the cool get and then one slick finger pushing inside with a deceptive ease. He caught the soft exhale of air and the tremor that rocked the lithe body as the finger started slipping in and out.
Acting purely on instinct he bent down and took the head of Remy’s cock into his mouth, sucking lightly. He had to use his hands to restrain him from pushing his shaft deeper into his throat, when with a muffled scream Remy bucked upwards.
It took Remy a minute to realize that Logan was not going to do much more. He just kept the weeping head in his mouth, giving it an occasional stroke with his tongue and waited. He put his hand over his buttock to feel what Remy was doing there and waited till he inserted the second finger and started stretching the tight canal.
Logan stopped his hand, and listened to the labored breathing of his lover for a moment, then reached for the jar and dipped his two fingers into it.
His digit’s were much bigger, thicker than Remy and he heard the whimper from the Cajun when he realized that he was going to do. Slowly, giving Remy the time to prepare for what was going to happen he traced his hand with his slick fingers, till he found the place where his digits disappeared into his body. Giving his cock a hard suck, he pressed slowly into the tight channel, along with Remy’s fingers.
Remy shuddered and gave a muffled scream when now four fingers breached him and his hips started bucking frantically. A wave of words spilled from his mouth and his head was trashing around on the pillow.
Logan tightened his hand on Remy’s hip, keeping him in place and let go of his cock. He didn’t want the Cajun to come too quickly.
He raised his head, letting the slick, pulsing erection slip from between his lips and stared at the boy lost in his pleasure completely.
Still he didn’t say a word, nor did Logan as he began pushing his fingers in and out of the hot cavern of his lovers body gently, stretching him nearly to his limits. The grip of the tight, now very slick channel on his fingers nearly drove him mad.
His self control Began breaking. He needed to take him, to bury his own neglected do far cock into the incredible heat.
Slowly, giving one of the pale thighs a soft kiss, he withdrew his fingers and then forced Remy to do the same.
The mere sight of their fingers leaving the tight opening made something inside him tighten even more, beyond any endurance.
Logan watched the glistening, loose entrance and slicked himself with trembling hands.
However he didn’t try to take his lover yet. At the confused look form Remy he reached to the floor where his jeans lay and pulled the belt free. He noted the brief flash of something dark and unreadable in his lovers demon eyes.
He made a loop and grabbed Remy’s wrists. He expected at least a little struggle, a question or something different than the silent acceptance and submission from the fiery Cajun. But was it really submission? Even now, tying Remy’s hands to the bedpost he wasn’t sure who was the stronger one here. And he suspected it didn’t matter since their relationship, that was just beginning, wasn’t about dominance but trust and Remy showed him that he was willing to try.
He ran his hand over the fishnet-covered arms and well formed chest, stroked the pectoral muscles and flat stomach before he closed one hand over the flushed erection. Logan stroked his lover while he used his other hand to position himself at the slick entrance and pushed.
The long sigh that left Remy’s lips was completely drowned in his own, louder one when he forced inch by painfully slow inch of his thick cock into Remy.
The hot channel closed over him, squeezing, nearly pulling him inside. When he was finally full seated inside, he paused, giving Remy time to get used to the large invasion.
When he felt the body beneath him relax a little, he withdrew and paused, seeking Remy’s eyes with his and when their stars were fixed on each other, he slammed home with one powerful thrust forcing a scream out of Remy.
He bent down and kissed the thief, forcing him to share his breath with him, swallowing all the sounds he was making when Logan started pounding in him hard and deep, still careful enough not to hurt him.
His hand closed over the sensitive organ on his lover and started fisting him to the rhythm of his thrusts. He angled his hips so that his cock was brushing Remy’s prostate with each and every thrust forcing him to scream and cry in pleasure and frustration. He pulled on the bonds so hard, Logan was sure that there would be marks tomorrow. The way Remy’s body clenched and trashed under him finally pushed him over the edge, much sooner than he planned and with a hoarse scream he came.
Remy arched his spine unbelievably, feeling the hot splashes of his lover’s release inside him and his rough hand fisting him furiously and with equally hoarse scream he came also, all over Logan’s hand and his belly.
When Remy regained consciousness he realized his arms were free and he was lying snuggled close to Logan, his head under his chin.
"I love you Remy." whispered Logan softly caressing the tangled auburn bangs.
Remy took a deep breath and risked being hurt again. But this was the way the life went.
"Je t’aime Logan." he murmured softly into his chest, however the older mutant heard him and smiled into the darkness, feeling peaceful at last.
The End