Up until now, I haven't cared whether Jim won or lost the election... as long as the campaign portrayed him in the best light, it was good for business. But I'm getting more uncomfortable with my role ... especially since the Gay and Lesbian Center endorses him. Those self-hating faggots who yearn for acceptance in the straight world would cut off their cocks to satisfy the homophobes. I'm sure they didn't endorse him because they heard that I was involved in his campaign. They usually steer-clear of me. It's just a power-play for them. "Look! We're gay, but we hate it."
And Jim didn't help any. When he expressed doubt about his abilities, I got a glimpse of his humanity... but when he veered away from fighting crime and began fighting for a "safe, clean, and morally upstanding" Pittsburgh, he lost me. Morality is a personal thing... a code of conduct we select to rule ourselves. When someone tries to fit his halo on MY head, he'd better be ready for a fight. The only rule is... "there are no rules."
Closing the baths... the Liberty, the Gravel Pit, and Adonis... is just a way of infringing on the rights of people to do as they wish in-private... when sex is voluntary and consensual. If people don't like it, don't walk through the door... but it doesn't mean they can bar the door, either. The Pit and Adonis weren't exactly my favorites; the clientele usually matched the cleanliness. But they were important for some guys. And when Babylon was forced to close the back-room, that was the last straw. Do they think we go to Babylon simply to DANCE?
Justin has been right all along. Instead of just shouting about it, he was actually doing something... using his talents to ridicule Jim. I couldn't have done it better myself, if I'd been on the other side. The little fucker has balls, after all. What am I saying? He's had balls all along... the convictions of youth. His messages could be a little more effective if they were a little more subtle. He's got the artist's skills... but not the advertiser's cunning. He'll make the homophobes fight for every inch of ground. Hmmm... a new partner for Rage? The boy has the makings of a super-hero.
I can still use Jim as a stepping-stone, even if he loses. He values my opinion. He has powerful friends. They can still be my ticket out of Pittsburgh. Can I play both sides against the other…and still survive? The battle between Reason and Passion is becoming an internal conflict…and Passion is starting to win.
Justin
Sex with Brian has become so dangerously exciting since we got back together. Not that it was ever dull. But there seems to be some kind of electrically charged, animal urgency about it now and we often do it in dangerous places. That's part of the excitement.
There we were in the alley with me kneeling before him sucking his cock like there was no tomorrow. His fingers grasped my hair like a rock climber hanging on for dear life. When he came he filled my mouth so full I almost choked. I was about to kiss him and squirt his own jism back into his mouth but then I looked up and saw one of that homophobe Stockwell's campaign posters on the walls so I spit Brian's load all over it then planted my lips on Brian's mouth giving him one small taste of himself.
Brian has always been extremely ambitious especially where his career is concerned. And he's a firm believer in not mixing personal feelings with business. That's one of the reasons he's become so successful. I've always tried to please Brian and make him proud of me. "The best homosexual you can be" he once told me. But Stockwell is nothing more than a fucking nazi. He's trying to destroy the entire gay community and I can't just sit by and do nothing. This is one time I have to do what I think is right no matter what Brian thinks.
Stockwell has managed to close down all the baths and even the backroom at Babylon. Brian and I wanted to go to the baths together. That's something we haven't really done together very often. Every last fucking one of them was locked up tight by Stockwell and his anti-gay mafia. While we were outside one of them some prick cop stopped us, checked my I.D. and made some asshole remark to me. I guess he thought Brian had picked up some underage kid to fuck. He was about two years too late on that one.
I tried to think how I could do something to fight Stockwell and I decided the best way was to put my talents as an artist to good use. Brian wanted to have a three-way with this guy we met on the dance floor but I begged off. I figured this would be the perfect time to do a little anti-Stockwell campaigning. So I made these posters portraying Stockwell as Hitler and spent most of the night putting them up all over town. The next morning Brian, Deb and the gang saw them but I just played dumb. I was at the agency when Stockwell came in to bitch to Brian about them. I thought he was going to shit.
That night I snuck back into the office to make copies of my latest Stockwell bashing poster. I portrayed him as a clown with the caption "Laughing Stock". I had no idea Brian would go back to the office so late but he caught me red handed. He made some snide remark about Kinkos being closed. But I didn't back down because this is something I feel really strong about. He even asked me out but that night I had more important things to do. It must be if I said no to Brian. I mean, how often does he actually ask me to go somewhere with him ahead of time?
He must have followed me. That's so like Brian wanting to know what his little Sunshine is up to and he knew after he saw those posters when he caught me in the copy room. I thought he would be furious and rip them all up but instead he helped me hang them. Brian is amazing. He really does have a lot of integrity in his own Brian Kinney way.
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