Email: slashgirl@gmail.com

Title: Back
Fandom: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Characters: Bobby/Mike; Ben Stone
Prompt: 003 Ends
Word Count: 1311
Rating: PG-13/FRT-13 (fan rated teen-13)
Author's Notes: The past can come back to haunt us.
 

Back
by Stacy L.A. Stronach

Mike Logan walked wearily through the door of his apartment. It had been a long day and he was really feeling it right now. He hung up his jacket and took off his boots before going into his bedroom to change into jeans and a sweatshirt. It would be about forty-five minutes until his lover, Bobby Goren, would get here, so Mike went into the kitchen to start the salads and steaks for supper. He wasn't a great cook--he had a limited repertoire but it was nice to have something homemade instead of take out all the time.

When the doorbell rang, Mike looked at the clock; it was only 7:30. Bobby was early, although Mike wondered if the other man had forgotten his key. Unlocking the door, Mike swung it open. "Hey, you're—" he stopped mid-sentence, shocked.

"Hello, Mike."

Mike frowned. "Ben. What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighbourhood?" he said with a nervous chuckle.

Not moving from the doorway, Mike looked at Ben Stone. He'd lost more of his hair and put on some weight, although he'd always been skinny, so this didn't make him fat; his blue eyes were still bright, but his face was more heavily lined making him seem older, wearier some how.

Green eyes hard with barely suppressed anger, Mike asked, again, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you, Mike. I'm here for a few weeks, visiting. Can I come in?"

Mike stared at him for several seconds. Seeing Ben again was like a punch in the gut. Finally, he moved back, allowing Ben into the hallway of his apartment; it was only because he didn't need anyone else involved in his business.

When Ben started to take off his coat, Mike said, "Don't bother, Ben. What do you want?"

"I wanted to see you—"

"You've seen me."

"Mike, please, I'm sorry for the way I ended things. It was wrong—"

"Ya think, Ben?" Mike asked sarcastically.

Ben sighed and reached out to touch Mike's shoulder. Mike twisted his body away, not letting his fingers land. Ben closed his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Won't you let me explain, please?"

"Fine, make it quick."

"I had to get out of New York, I had to make a clean break. I am truly sorry that I hurt you but I would've hurt you more if I'd stayed. You were better off without me. I realise that I should've handled it differently…"

"That's about the only true thing you've said to me tonight," Mike said. "I can't believe I ever thought I was in love with you. You're a fucking selfish bastard, Ben. Do you know how much it hurt me, do you even care?"

Ben looked shocked. "Of course I care. I was messed up, Mike. That doesn't excuse it, I know, but—"

Holding up his hand to stave off any further words, Mike shook his head. "I don't want or need to hear it. I've moved on with my life. I sure as hell don't need you coming here and begging me for forgiveness or apologising. I think—"

Both men turned when the lock on the door turned. Bobby walked in, surprised to see the other man there. "Mike?"

"Bobby, this is—"

Bobby smiled. "Benjamin Stone, former ADA. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Stone. I'm Bobby Goren," he said, reaching out to shake Ben's hand.

Ben returned the shake, eyes going from Bobby back to Mike. "Nice to meet you, Detective Goren," he said, noticing the badge when Bobby reached forward.

"Are you staying for supper?" Bobby asked, taken aback at the piercing glare Mike sent him.

"No, Ben was just leaving," Mike said, sliding past Bobby to open the apartment door. "Bobby, can you go and check on the steaks for me? I think they need to be turned."

"Sure thing, Mike," he said. Bobby quickly removed his boots and coat before going into the kitchen. Bobby wasn't sure what was going on. He'd certainly sensed the tension in the air; the old clichéd "so thick you could cut it with a knife" variety. He was curious as to what was going on but knew he would eventually find out.

"Yes, I do have to be going. Again, nice to meet you, Detective Goren," Ben said to Bobby's back, stepping toward the door. "It was good to see you, Mike…and I am sorry," he added.

Mike narrowed his eyes, staring at Ben for a few moments. He shook his head. "Don't ever bother coming to see me again. I don't want or need to see you, Ben. I've moved on with my life. You should do the same. Now, do me a big favour and stay the hell out of my life," he said, opening the door and waiting for Ben to walk through it.

Ben did so, stopping on the threshold. "It was good to see you, Mike…and I am sorry," he added. "Good bye."

Ignoring the older man, Mike waited impatiently for him to move, slamming the door shut as soon as Ben was in the hallway.

Bobby moved out of Mike's way, the other man was obviously pissed off. Deciding the safest thing was to give Mike some space, he left the kitchen and stood in the doorway. Watching Mike with his head tilted to the side, he saw Mike act out his anger: slamming cupboard doors, banging utensils on the table and muttering under his breath. He knew it was better to let Mike go than to try and talk to him when he was in this sort of mood, so Bobby went to the bedroom. He kept some extra clothes here, just as Mike did at his place, although they were close enough to the same size they could share if they had to. Changing into more casual clothes, Bobby listened and when the noise from the kitchen had abated, he went back out.

He peeked into the kitchen and saw Mike standing by the sink, looking out the little window in the wall over the sink. Bobby walked up behind him, sliding one arm around his waist, his other hand grasping Mike's shoulder as he gently kissed the back of his neck. The tension in Mike's body slowly ebbed and he relaxed into Bobby's embrace.

"So, want to tell me what that was about?"

Mike sighed. He turned around to face Bobby, wrapping his arms around Bobby's waist, loosely. "Back, what, almost ten years ago now, Ben and I were lovers. He quit the DA's office about a year before I ended up getting myself transferred to Staten Island," he paused for a moment. "When Ben decided to leave New York, he left everything behind. Including me. He didn't even have the balls to break up with me in person! I came home off shift one day to find a fucking 'Dear John' letter. I was devastated, Bobby. I thought he loved me," Mike paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "This is the first time he's been in touch with me since then. He wants my forgiveness. He can go pound fucking sand!"

"I'm sorry, Mike."

"You don't have to be sorry, you didn't do anything."

"No, but I'm sorry you were treated like that," Bobby said. He leaned forward, planting a chaste kiss on Mike's lips, glad when the other man returned his kiss. They kissed for a few minutes and Bobby stroked his hands up and down Mike's back. He could feel Mike relaxing and calming down with his continued touch.

After a few minutes, Mike pulled back and smiled at Bobby. "Thanks. You always seem to know what I need. I love you."

"I love you, too," Bobby said. "And I think the steaks are ready."

//**the end**\\