Email: slashgirl@gmail.com

Warnings: Rated NC-17 for explicit violence. I feel it's rather graphic; if you're not sure, please don't read this. Use of a very derogatory term for black people; it is used within the context of the time the story is taking place and is in character for the man using it. It is not used gratuitously, or at least I don't think it is but it is used.

Notes: In the first JAG/NCIS ep "Ice Queen" Jethro tells the Boy Scout that "I saw something bad, just like this." Got my mind to wondering what it was that young Jethro saw. This is my take. I've made Gibbs 11 years old and I've made him a Kentucky boy. Why Kentucky? The bourbon. I know he doesn't have a Kentuckian accent but that could be explained by years of living away from there.

Near as I've been able to ascertain, there is no Gibbsville/Gibbs Mtn in Kentucky.

As of the writing of this (summer 04) they have not given us any info on where Jethro's from nor his parents' names, etc. In my NCIS universe, Gibbs is 47 first season.

All pieces of songs quoted were written by John Fogerty and performed by CCR (Creedence Clearwater Revival). After looking for a title for ages, I used "Fortunate Son" as it seemed to fit, even though the story isn't about what that song is.

 

Fortunate son
by Stacy L.A. Stronach

"It ain't me, it ain't me. I ain't no fortunate son, no."
"Fortunate son"

"They came and took my Dad away to serve some time,
But it was me that paid the debt he left behind."
"Porterville"


"Excuse me, ma'am."

Caitlin Todd looked up at the older man who stood in front of her desk. He was tall, thin in a wiry, strong way, but not stooped. His hair was short and completely white, while his eyes were piercing and blue. His skin was pale as if he didn't get enough sun. "Yes, sir, what can I do for you?" She noticed Tony watching her interaction with the older man.

"I'm looking for Jethro Gibbs," he said.

Cait could detect a hint of the south in the man's accent. "I think he's down in one of our labs, I can call and find out for you--" she broke off when she saw Gibbs get off the elevator. "There he is now," she said, indicating where Gibbs had just walked off into the NCIS office area.

Neither Cait nor Tony had ever seen Jethro Gibbs as furious as they did when their boss laid eyes on the visitor. Gibbs' face was twisted with fury, his fists clenched by his sides, as if he were afraid he'd lose control and hit the older man. Moving quickly, he got right up in the older man's face, his voice low and dangerous. "I've told you before. I do NOT want to ever see you again. Get the hell out of here and stay the hell out of my life. If you ever set foot here or at my home I'll have you arrested for trespassing. DiNozzo call security to escort this 'gentleman' out of here. NOW!" Jethro barked and moved around the old man and headed for his desk.

The old man look confused and hurt. "Jethro…son, I'm sorry--"

Jethro whipped around. "I am _not_ your son, I haven't been since I was 11. I don't give a fuck if you're sorry. Being sorry won't bring them back or change what happened to my family. Don't ever come near me again."

Tony and Cait looked at each other in shock. They sent furtive looks at Gibbs, but he was ignoring everything except the file in front of him.

He didn't even react when security removed the old man who had called him "son".

Tony IMed Cait. "What the hell?"

Cait typed back: "I figured you'd know. He called Gibbs "son"; must be his father?"

Tony: "He never talks about his parents. I figured he was found under a rock. Ask him about it."

Cait: "*snort* Like I wanna lose my head today. YOU ask him, you're his golden boy, you know."

Tony: "I'm not that golden, I promise you. Shit he's lookin' at us. Act normally."

Cait: "Gotcha." Out loud she said, "DiNozzo did you have the report on the Evans case from Abby?"

"Yep," Tony said. He grinned at her. "Oh, did you want it?" he asked with a too innocent smile.

"That _would_ be why I asked for it," Cait replied dryly.

Tony picked up the folder and tossed it across the aisle and it landed perfectly in front of Cait. "Three points!"

Cait shook her head. "How do you do that?" she asked.

"I'm just a very talented man," Tony replied, laughing when Cait snorted at his statement.

"Both of you get to work, please," Gibbs said tersely. He got up from his desk. "I'm heading home. I'll be in tomorrow. Call me if you need me."

Tony and Cait exchanged looks again. Tony shrugged helplessly; in his just over two years of working for Gibbs he didn't ever remember the man going home early, even when he was feeling ill. Risking a verbal dressing down, Tony spoke quietly as Gibbs walked past his desk. "Hey Boss?"

"What DiNozzo?" Gibbs' asked in a voice dripping with frustration and sarcasm that almost scared Tony off. But not quite.

"I…are you okay? Will you be okay?"

Gibbs bit back the acid reply that danced on the tip of his tongue. DiNozzo was being serious, not joking around and he could see the concern shining out of Tony's green eyes. "I'm not okay, but I will be. Just need to go home for a bit," he answered honestly.

"Okay," Tony wasn't sure he should offer the next but decided that since his neck was already stuck out, why not? "If you need anything, Boss, just call."

"Yeah, Gibbs. If we can help," Cait added.

Neither of the younger agents were surprised that the only response they got was a grunt and Gibbs' back.

Cait waited until Gibbs was on the elevator. "What are we going to do? Should we do anything?" She looked at Tony, who held up a finger and looked like he was counting.

"Six…seven…eight…nine…ten," Tony counted, not wanting to have Gibbs suddenly reappear while he was checking up on him. He picked up his phone, dialling Ducky's number. He noticed Cait getting up to stand behind him. "Ducky. What do you know about Gibbs' father?"

"His father? Why on earth are you asking about him?"

"Cus someone calling Gibbs his son was just here, Boss had him escorted off the property. I've never seen Gibbs look that angry, even with me. Also said he wasn't this guy's son?"

"Trust me, Anthony, you could never make him that angry. Where's Jethro now?" Ducky asked with concern colouring his voice.

"Um, he said he was going home and that he'd be in tomorrow. So, you do know something?" Tony asked.

"Well, yes, but I'm sorry I can't tell you, Anthony. I have to go," Ducky said, being uncharacteristically abrupt by hanging up.

Tony held the receiver away from his ear looking at like it was some form of alien life.

"What did Ducky say?" Cait asked.

His brow creasing in a frown, Tony spoke. "He asked about what happened and where Gibbs was. Then he hung up on me. Strange."

"Really. Although lucky as well, no stories," Cait smirked.

"I dunno, I think it means it's really serious," Tony replied, trying to think of how he could find something out. "Abs!" Quickly dialling the lab tech's extension, he waited for her to answer.

"Hey, Tony, what can I do for you?"

"Abby, I need whatever you can find on Gibbs' background and his father, ASAP."

"Why? What's up?" Abby asked, instantly curious.

"Well, some old guy showed up here, called Gibbs 'son'. Gibbs got really, really angry and had him thrown off the property, then he went home. Yeah, he went home early. I called Ducky--he knows something but wouldn't tell me. It's all quite…hinky. I think we need to know what's up," Tony explained.

"I'm on it as we speak. I'll call you when I've got something," she promised.

"Thanks, Abs," Tony replied before hanging up the phone. He turned to Cait who was standing beside him. "She's gonna do some research for us. Guess we could do some work while we wait," he said.

"I guess so," Cait said, returning to sit down at her desk. Neither of them felt much like working as worried and curious as they were about Gibbs.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Jethro stared blankly at the steps of the basement. He'd finally managed to chase Ducky away, although he wasn't really proud of that. He just needed the time to be alone, to relive the memories that seeing his father had brought up; time to let the bourbon help him forget. Not that he ever really could…

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
Gibbs Mountain, 1967

"Don't go around tonight,
well, it's bound to take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise"
--Bad Moon Rising

Jethro lay in the hayloft, the comforting sound of the animals below him, the bare wooden rafters above him. He could see the sky through the hay door and he started picking out the constellations that he knew, the ones not blocked out by the bright shining of the almost full moon. It was late but it was summertime and his parents didn't mind if he stayed up til 10 or even 11 at night. It wasn't like he had school the next day.

After a little while, he heard voices down in the barn. Rolling over so he could see over the edge of the loft, Jethro was surprised to see his brother, Judd and Judd's good friend, Billy Davis, sitting on a bench, just talking. They didn't usually hang out at the Gibbs' but at Billy's place.

Billy was eighteen, same age as Judd. Jethro knew Daddy didn't like Billy that much, just because Billy was black. Jethro frowned; he didn't like the word his Daddy used for black people. It was nasty and his Mama told him he was never to use it, so he didn't. He watched the older boys for a little while, trying to decide if he should go down and join them. They were pretty good about letting an 11-year old tag along most of the time. Just as he was about to announce his presence, Jethro saw something that made him gasp and he covered his mouth in time to keep the noise in.

Down on the bench, Judd and his best friend were kissing each other, hugging each other. They started doing other stuff, stuff that Jethro wasn't sure they should be doing. Heck, the kissing was bad enough, that meant they were faggots. Jethro winced. Another word Mama didn't let her boys use but one that Daddy used a lot. Gay, that meant Judd and Billy were gay. Jethro was trying to figure out what this meant for him, what it meant in how he'd have to treat his brother and Billy from now on.

Watching the two young men with fascination, Jethro didn't notice his Daddy staggering across the field to the barn. By the time he saw his father it was too late to shout a warning. Jethro watched in horrified fascination as his father lifted the spade in his hand and brought it down across Billy's back. The force of the blow sent Billy sprawling face first on the dusty hay covered floor of the barn. Judd fell to the side of the bench and struggled to get up, to comprehend what was happening.

"You queer nigger, what are you doing to my boy?" *Whack.* The shovel was brought down on the back of Billy's head and Jethro could hear the bones being crushed. Billy was still moving, blood covering the back of his head and his shoulders as he tried to drag himself away from Luther's fury. "I'll teach some nigger bastard to touch any of my family!" *Whack* He hit Billy in the head again and after a few twitches Billy stopped moving. Luther kicked at the boy's body turning him over. "I'll make sure you never do anything again!" and he raised the shovel over his head.

"Daddy, no!" Judd screamed as he yanked on his father's arm.

Luther pushed Judd away as if the boy weighed nothing more than a feather. "I'll deal with you in a minute, boy," he growled. He brought the shovel down one more time, smashing Billy's face beyond recognition.

Jethro finally managed to move. He couldn't let his father do to Judd what he'd done to Billy and he was sure that was going to happen. Starting down the ladder quietly, watching as his father advanced on his brother, Jethro quickly got to the bottom.

"You stupid little bastard, what do you mean letting that…that boy do that to you. Why doncha just find some bitch you could knock up. You're some kind of faggot, ain't you? I don't need no faggots in my family! You ain't my son!" Luther was yelling so loudly that Jethro was sure they could here him the next county over. "I'll fix you!" Luther raised the shovel, getting ready to hit his first-born child.

Jethro had to stop his father. He ran over and grabbed his Daddy's arm. "No, Daddy!! Don't hurt Judd, please don't--" his protests were cut off as Luther picked him up by the collar and threw him across the barn. Jethro hit the stable doors opposite with a thud, and it stunned him.

He watched in horror as his father raised the shovel again, and brought it down on his brother, who had tried to move away, but couldn't crawl fast enough. The first whack of the shovel laid him flat on the barn floor, and Jethro cried out again, the tears now flowing freely down his face. His father was even more frenzied in the beating of his son than he had been of Billy. As his father continued the beating, Jethro couldn't turn his head away and watched his brother die; the sound of shovel hitting human flesh and of breaking bones would be etched into his mind forever. The next thing he heard was the sound of the county sheriff yelling at his father.

"Put the shovel down NOW, Luther Judd Gibbs! Hands where I can see them," the sheriff held his gun on the elder Gibbs, who dropped the shovel. Sheriff Wayne Stevens looked at Jethro, sadness in his eyes. "Son, you go on up to the house. Keep your Mama from coming down here. She don't need to see her boy this way; you tell her he's gone, but for God's sakes child, don't tell her the details. Now go on, Jethro!" He turned his attention back to the elder Gibbs. "Down on the floor, Luther, hands behind your back. You've got the right to remain silent…"

Jethro ran all the way to the house, tears streaming down his face. His Daddy had just killed Judd and Billy. Oh, god, "Mama!" he yelled when he saw her heading toward the barn. He hugged her, pulling her into the kitchen. "Sheriff told me to keep you here, Mama."

"Judd? Luther? Jethro, what's going on? What'd your Daddy do?" Belle Gibbs shook Jethro by his thin shoulders, screeching at her young son. "Tell me!"

"Daddy…Daddy caught, caught Judd and Billy kissing and stuff. He hit them with the shovel. Oh, Mama, they're gone, they're dead, Daddy killed them. Why Mama?"

Belle couldn't answer. She dropped into the chair by the table, and laid her head on her arms on the table, her body shaking with sobs. Jethro wrapped his arms around his mother, trying to comfort her. He stroked her auburn hair, tried to tell her it would be okay, but he didn't know that it would be.

Time seemed to pass too slowly, Jethro didn't know how long he stood there, holding his sobbing mother. He looked up when he heard a knock on the screen door. It was his uncle, George, and his aunt, Starr, his Mama's sister. Jethro looked at George. "In the barn…Daddy--"

George DuCaine, a deputy with the county sheriff's department, knelt down by Jethro; even kneeling his uncle dwarfed the boy. George was tall, with a strong physique, which many a crook found intimidating. Right now, he wrapped an arm gently around his nephew's shoulders. "Shhh. We know, son. Your Auntie is here, she's gonna help you and your Mama. I want you to stay here and I'm gonna go help Sheriff Stevens out, then I'll come back and be with you. You help your Auntie and your Mama, okay? Be a good boy, Jethro. I know I can count on you, right?" George asked quietly, hugging the boy to him.

"Yes, sir," Jethro said. He was terrified, but he trusted his uncle. Jethro knew nothing would ever be the same again. It felt as if he weren't really here, but that he was watching from somewhere far away. Starr sat beside her sister, their auburn heads close together as Starr talked to her sister.

She saw Jethro watching them. "Jethro, sweetie, would you get the bourbon for me, please? Your mother's favourite," Starr asked gently.

Jethro did as she asked, bringing in the bottle that was his Mama's favourite bourbon. When he got back to the kitchen, his aunt had three glasses on the table. She poured full ones for herself and her sister and a smaller amount in the third. Starr pushed it over to Jethro. "Drink it, you probably need it as much as she does."

Jethro swigged it down, nearly choking on the taste and the burn.

"You're supposed to sip, sweetie," Starr said. "C'mere. Help me get your Mama up to bed, then you and I'll have a chat, okay?" Turning to her sister, Starr spoke quietly. "C'mon Belle, darlin', let's get you to bed."

Belle leaned on her sister, tears still flowing down her face. When they reached the door she turned around to Jethro. She pulled her remaining son into a hug, before pulling back to look at him, her bright blue eyes boring into his. "I love you. And you're nothing like your father; always remember that," Belle whispered, before turning back around and letting her sister take her up to bed.

Jethro followed the women upstairs. He waited in the bedroom while his aunt helped his mother get ready for bed in the bathroom. A few minutes later, Starr called out to him. "Turn the sheets down on your Mama's bed, please."

He did as he was told, pulling down the sheet and blanket on the bed and piling the pillows up the way he knew his Mama liked them. Starr and Belle came out of the bathroom, and Starr had her arm around her sister's waist, giving her what support she could. She helped Belle into bed, and Belle hardly reacted when Jethro pulled up the sheets. He kissed her good night then followed his aunt out of the room.

They heard the front door close then George calling out for his wife. "Starr, where are ya?"

She went to the top of the stairs, Jethro close behind her. "We're up here, George."

He looked sad. "Can you bring Jethro down, I need to talk to him."

Starr looked at her nephew, whose face was drawn and pained. An eleven-year old shouldn't have to go through this but she knew George would have to get a statement from the child. "C'mon, Jethro, we'd best go talk to your uncle," she said, taking his hand and leading him downstairs.

When they got to the bottom of the stairs, George reached out and stroked the top of Jethro's head. "I'm sorry, Jethro, but I need to talk to you about what happened tonight," he said. He saw the fear in the boy's eyes and hated that he had to do this. However, it had to be done, sooner rather than later. "Let's go into the front parlour."

The three of them made their way into the parlour. Starr sat on the couch and Jethro settled next to her, moving closer when she wrapped her arm around him. George pulled up a chair, so he was sitting across from his nephew.

"Jethro, I need you to tell me what happened in that barn tonight. I know it's upsettin' so just take your time," George said, leaning forward and taking a hold of his nephew's hand.

After a couple of false starts, Jethro managed to tell his uncle what had happened, what he'd seen, out in the barn. While he was talking, both George and Starr worked hard to not show too much reaction. When Jethro had finished, George looked up from his notes and asked a couple of clarifying questions, then snapped the book closed. He exchanged a pained look with his wife. They both knew Jethro's life had irrevocably changed.

"You did a good job, Jethro," George said quietly. He pulled the child into a hug and sighed when he felt the small, thin arms wrap around his neck.

"Will…will my Daddy have to go to jail for what he done?" Jethro asked in a quivering voice, his face pressed against his uncle's chest.

"I won't lie to you, Jethro. Yes, he will almost definitely go to prison. He killed two people."

"Is Daddy a bad man, Uncle George?"

George closed his eyes. Luther was generally an upstanding citizen although he was racist, but then there weren't many around who weren't…"You're Daddy isn't a bad man. Lord knows, he ain't a saint, but then who is? He did something very, very bad but that don't make him bad. And it sure as heck doesn't make you bad, Jethro. You were a brave boy tonight, trying to help your brother and his friend," he said, lifting Jethro's face with a finger under the chin, making sure his nephew was looking at him. "Now, you need to go upstairs, take a bath, and get ready for bed. Starr here will tuck you in and we'll be staying over with you and your mama the next few nights. I've got to run some things over to the sheriff then I'll be back here."

"Okay," Jethro agreed in a small voice.

"I just need to talk to your uncle for a couple minutes then I'll be right up to check on you," Starr said. She and George watched their nephew make his way slowly up the stairs.

Jethro ran his bath, undressing as water filled the tub. He still couldn't make sense of tonight. The horrible feeling that nothing would ever be the same came over him again. He shook his head as if to clear the thoughts and then climbed into the tub. Closing his eyes to enjoy the heat of the water all he could see was his Daddy bringing the shovel down on Billy and then Judd. Opening his eyes quickly, he splashed in the water, drowning out the noises he could hear in his head.

Finished cleaning himself, Jethro climbed out of the tub and put on his pyjamas before going into his bedroom. By the time Starr got upstairs, he was lying in bed under the covers.

She knocked on his door. "You awake, Jethro?"

"Yeah," he said rolling over onto his back to look at his aunt. "Auntie Starr, can you stay with me?"

"I'll stay by your bed til you fall asleep. You and your Mama are gonna need some help over the next few days, so I'll be stayin' over. I'll be here in the house, okay?" she said quietly.

"Okay," Jethro said.

The room was still and quiet for a few minutes, then Starr could hear muffled sobs coming from Jethro and it nearly broke her heart to hear such pain. She knelt down beside his bed, leaning over, and stroking his hair, moving it away from his face. She half hugged him.

"I shoulda done something ta stop Daddy," he choked out between sobs.

"Oh, child, Jethro, you did what you could. Your daddy was in a rage and drunk; nothing you could do could've stopped him. You're only a boy. Even Judd couldn't do anything," she said.

"But the sheriff stopped 'im."

"That's cus Wayne had a gun, honey. Your daddy knew …well he knew he was looking down the business end of a gun with a man who would've used it," Starr said. "C'mon, Jethro, try to get to sleep, I know it's hard."

"I'm gonna dream about it, I'm scared."

"You won't if you don't want too. Just tell yourself that you're not gonna dream about what happened. It works, just try it."

Jethro sniffled. "I…I won't dream about what happened in the barn."

"Good, now try to sleep okay? You'll only have good dreams."

He sniffled again. "I'm sorry for cryin', Auntie," he whispered.

"Don't you ever apologise for crying, Jethro Gibbs. Despite what your daddy and some of the others around here might want you to believe, cryin' doesn't mean you're weak. It just means you've got a lot of pain that wants letting out and it's better if you do," she whispered, stroking the side of his face.

He eventually quieted and Starr knew he was asleep. She stood up, her knees and back protesting that she'd been in one position too long. Stretching, she looked down at Jethro, her heart sore for what he'd seen, for what had happened to Judd, Billy, him, and her sister. She left the bedside lamp turned on for if Jethro woke up again, Starr didn't want him waking in complete darkness.

She wearily left Jethro's room and looked in on her sister. The deep even breathing from the bed indicated Belle was asleep. Starr grabbed sheets from the linen closet and went into the spare bedroom. It was next door to Belle's room and across the hall from Jethro's room so she'd be close by if they needed her. She'd just finished making up the bed when she heard a vehicle out in the yard. It sounded like George's truck.

Starr went downstairs and met her husband as he walked in the door. "Oh, George," she whispered before walking into the welcoming warmth of her husband's embrace. Neither spoke for several minutes they just held one another.

"We'd best be getting' some sleep, darlin'. I stopped by the home place and got us some clothes and stuff, since we'll be stayin' for a few days," George said, leaving one arm around Starr as he bent and picked up a suitcase.

"You don't have to go back in now?"

"Nah, Wayne's got Luther locked up and we'll sort through stuff tomorrow. Let's get to bed," George said.

They went upstairs and as they got ready for bed. George said, "You know I'll have to talk to Belle tomorrow?"

Starr nodded sadly. "Yeah, I figured as much. I don't know how she'll ever get past this, she holds onto things so." Starr sighed. "But we'll deal with that as it comes along, won't we?" She slid into the bed, lying on her side.

"Yeah, we will," George said, climbing in and spooning up behind her. "I love you," he whispered against her ear.

Starr stroked his hand resting on her belly. "I know, and I love you too," she replied. They both managed to fall into a restless sleep.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Almost forty minutes after Tony's phone call, Abby hopped off the elevator and went directly to Tony's desk, motioning for Cait to join them. She reached in front of Tony to punch some keys on the keyboard, bringing up some information. "You are _so_ not gonna believe this," Abby said quietly.

She began to talk, "Okay, he was born in Gibbsville, Kentucky, second son of Luther Judd and Belle Gibbs."

"Gibbsville?" Tony snorted. "Why am I not surprised he has a town named after him? Second son? I thought he was an only child?"

"Yep, it's a smallish town at the base of Gibbs Mountain in the Appalachians of Kentucky. The town has a website, according to that, Gibbsville was settled in the late 1700s by a Leroy Jethro Gibbs. So, technically, it wasn't named after Bossman. Our own Jethro is a direct descendant of Leroy the first through the guy's second marriage," Abby explained.

"Okay, so why doesn't Gibbs want anything to do with his father?" Cait asked.

"You were right, Tony, it is hinky. Apparently back in 1967 when Gibbs was 11, his father beat his elder son, Luther Judd Gibbs, Jr and Judd's best friend, Billy Davis, who happened to be black, to death with a shovel. Apparently, our Gibbs was up in loft of the barn, saw what happened and tried to stop his father. He saw everything," Abby said, sniffling a bit. "Poor Bossman."

"No wonder Gibbs doesn't want to see him," Cait said quietly.

Tony nodded his agreement and gave Abby a quick one-armed hug. "Yeah, poor kid, I can't imagine going through that. No wonder he was so fucking pissed with that guy today! What happened to his dad?"

"He was only charged with killing his son. They made a deal with him and he had a damn good lawyer. He only got 35 years. After the trial, Gibbs and his mother moved away, the scandal of it and all that. Gibbs' aunt, his mom's sister, and her husband had moved to Baltimore, so they went up there with them. His mom died when he was 14, cirrhosis of the liver. After his mother died, his aunt and uncle took him in and then he joined the Marines right after college."

All three of them were quiet for a few minutes as Cait and Tony processed what Abby had told them.

Cait got a thoughtful look on her face. "I don't know that I would ever have profiled him to have that sort of background. Abusive parent/parents maybe…but not this. Amazing," she said.

"Just goes to show everyone has a past that can be full of surprises," Tony said softly. He looked at his watch. "I think I'll head out, Cait. I know it's a bit early but I have some stuff I have to do."

Cait waved her hand at him. "Yeah, go on, Tony. I don't feel much like working, either. See you later," she said.

"Yeah, see you, Tony," Abby added.

He waved at the two women then got onto the elevator. In reality he'd decided to go see Gibbs, but for some reason, didn't want them to know. He wasn't sure why…

"Think he's going to see Gibbs?" Cait asked before she sat down next to Abby to look over the information for herself.

"Definitely. Hope he can help," Abby said.

"It's amazing he came out as 'normal' as he did."

"Yeah. I can't begin to imagine what it was like," Abby replied sadly.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

While driving over to Gibbs' place, Tony found his mind wandering. He thought about what he'd found out about Gibbs tonight. Tony's own family life hadn't been pleasant, and while his father hadn't actually killed anyone, he'd come close a couple of times. He wondered if Gibbs, Sr. had been abusive to his kids before the murders. If he were typical, then Tony was pretty sure Luther Gibbs had abused his children, if not his wife.

Tony definitely knew what that was like…he couldn't begin to imagine what Jethro had gone through, seeing that as a young boy. It was bad enough seeing the results of that sort of thing as an adult, to be a child would be horrific. Pushing those thoughts out of his head, for now, Tony turned onto the road Gibbs lived on, then a few minutes later, he pulled into Gibbs' driveway. Taking a big breath as he climbed out of the car, Tony braced himself for the battle that was sure to follow. He walked into the house.

Gibbs frowned as he took another swig of bourbon. Sounded like the front door opening and closing. He thought he'd chased Ducky off. "Go 'way, Ducky!" he yelled.

"It's not Ducky, Boss," Tony said, walking down the stairs then going over next to where Jethro sat on the floor. He knelt down. "Are you drunk?"

Gibbs, who wasn't but was trying to get there, shook his head. "Does it look like I'm drunk yet, DiNozzo?"

"Nope. Good," then Tony grabbed the bottle of bourbon out of Jethro's hands. "You don't need this, Boss."

Standing up, Jethro reached for the alcohol. "Give that to me, now!" he yelled.

Tony stood his ground, holding the bourbon behind his back. Jethro moved close to Tony, reaching his arms around the younger man to try and retrieve the bottle. This brought their bodies into close, frontal contact. Tony sighed, this was not what he needed right now. "Back off, Boss," he warned, keeping the bottle away from the other man.

"You're telling ME to back off when you stole my bourbon and won't give it to me? No fucking way!" Gibbs shouted, sliding first to one side, then the other to try and get what he wanted.

"Fuck," Tony muttered, bringing a hand up to cup the back of Jethro's head before he leaned in to kiss him. The shock of being kissed by DiNozzo froze Jethro in his tracks. Tony took advantage of Jethro's gasp to slide his tongue into his mouth for a quick taste. Not wanting to give Gibbs time to adjust, Tony broke the embrace and then set the bourbon bottle on the workbench. He turned, pulling a now acquiescent Jethro behind him and headed for the kitchen.

By the time they got there, Jethro pulled away from Tony before sitting down at the table, his face buried in his hands. He didn't move until Tony placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of him. Wrapping his hands around the mug, Jethro lifted the cup, breathed deeply of the aroma before taking a deep swallow of the steaming liquid.

Tony got his own coffee and sat down at the table across from his boss. For several minutes, the only sound in the room was that of the men drinking their coffees. Finally, Jethro stared directly at Tony and asked, "Why?"

Unsure to what Jethro was referring, Tony stared back. "Why what?"

"Why are you here?"

Silent for a few moments, Tony cleared his throat before he spoke. "I'm here cus I was worried about you," he paused, unsure of how much he should reveal. He decided on the truth. "After what happened today…I asked Abby to see what she could find out." Tony paused again, seeing the flash of pain that passed through Jethro's blue eyes. "She found out about your father. And what he did…" he trailed off.

Jethro exploded. He stood, knocking his chair over. Leaning forward with his hands on the table with his face inches from Tony's, fury burned in his eyes. "What the fuck gives you the right to do that?!"

Tony stared back at him and it took all of his control not to flinch in the face of Jethro's rage. "You're my friend. I was worried when you left today. I got even more worried after I asked Ducky and he wouldn't tell me anything. Does Ducky even know the full story?" Tony asked. When Jethro shook his head no, Tony continued. "Then tell me."

Jethro snarled, "Why should I? You found out what you needed from Abby."

"I got the Reader's Digest condensed version from Abby. Tell me. What you say won't go any further, Jethro. You may not believe it but it can help to talk about it…even after 36 years…And you can trust me."

Jethro was ready to tell Tony to go take a flying fuck, but when he looked into Tony's green eyes, full of warmth and friendship, he felt his anger fade a little. He stared at Tony for several minutes, not speaking. Tony didn't flinch or fidget and he met Gibbs' gaze directly.

Gibbs decided. He picked up the chair and sat down again, arms on the table, hands clasped in front of him. He didn't know where to start.

"Start at the beginning, Boss," Tony said quietly, seeming, as always, to know what Jethro was thinking. He grasped Jethro's hands in his own, smiling when he looked up in surprise.

"But where's the beginning? Where does it start, Tony?"

"Tell me what I need to know."

Jethro took another couple sips of coffee, ran a hand wearily over his face before leaning back in his chair. His eyes took on a look, one that Tony had seen in others' eyes, the faraway look that meant the person was travelling in his head, looking at his inside. "Before …before this happened…we were a regular family. Not normal….My father, my father, he hit us, sometimes. Judd took most of it, protected me and Mama. I've seen a lot worse on the job." He paused, sipping from his mug, which Tony had refilled a few minutes before. "Then one night, the summer I was eleven…one night I was up in the loft of the barn, lying in the hay, listening to the horses and cows in their stalls below…." Jethro said and he told Tony his story.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

A couple hours later, Jethro finished talking. He was surprised when he realised that Tony was kneeling on the floor in front of him, one hand on his thigh, the other wiping tears off his face. Jethro hadn't even realised he was shedding the tears. "I haven't…done this for years," Jethro whispered his voice raspy.

"Maybe it's time you did," Tony said gently. He slid his arms around Jethro, pulling him closer. At first, Jethro resisted but then he accepted the comfort, wrapping his arms around Tony, dropping his head to Tony's shoulder.

After a few minutes, Jethro pulled back but not out of Tony's embrace. Bringing his hand up, he cupped the side of Tony's face as they stared at one another. "Anthony," he said quietly.

Tony didn't say anything but a soft smile played over his face at the use of his given name. When Jethro leaned forward, Tony did so as well and they kissed. It was a gentle, chaste kiss, more comfort than passion yet Tony didn't think he'd shared anything so intimate with another human being before.

When the kiss ended, the two men stared at each for several moments, then Jethro stood. He helped Tony to his feet and then hugged him, tight. Tony returned the embrace, stroking his hands gently over Jethro's back.

Finally, Jethro pulled away from Tony, yawning. "I think I'm gonna hit the sack, it's been a really long day," he said.

"Yeah, it has been," Tony said, following Jethro down the hallway to his bedroom.

"What? You gonna get me ready for bed and tuck me in?" Jethro asked, halfway between caustic and joking.

Tony grinned. "If you want me to…" he trailed off, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Jethro snorted, shaking his head. "I think I can manage on my own."

Tony stood outside the bedroom doorway as Jethro went in. "Okay, Boss. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Tony said before turning to leave.

"Tony," Jethro said in a voice filled with fatigue and which made Tony turn around instantly. "Stay. Please."

Having turned around, Tony looked at where Jethro stood by the bed. "Are you sure, Boss?"

"Yes, I am."

Tony didn't say anything but he walked into the bedroom, stripping down to his boxer-briefs, trying not to watch Jethro get undressed. He looked at Jethro and smiled. "You got a t-shirt I could borrow?"

Jethro pointed to the dresser. "Third drawer down, right hand side," he answered. Then he grinned. "Thought you liked to sleep naked?"

"Only when I'm in Cuba and I'm going to be sharing my bed with an iguana," Tony joked. He climbed into bed, settling himself behind Jethro, wrapping his arms around the older man.

Resting his hands over Tony's, which were on his stomach, Jethro moved back, closer to him, with a contented sigh. "Good night, Tony…and thanks."

"G'night and you're welcome," came the sleepy reply.

Jethro awoke the next morning to find himself half sprawled over Tony who was sleeping on his back. Their legs were twisted together and Tony had one arm around Jethro while the other was flung over his head. Pulling back a bit, Jethro looked over at the clock on the bedside table, it was almost four-thirty. He'd have to wake Tony early enough so that he could get back to his apartment, get a change of clothes and then get into work. But for now, Jethro watched him sleep. Tony looked even younger asleep than awake, and Jethro loved how his hair got all messy and spiky, like a little kid.

After a few minutes, Jethro moved so he was lying fully on top of Tony and he smiled as the younger man adjusted to the change even in his sleep. Jethro gently kissed Tony's mouth before trailing kisses along his lightly stubble covered jaw line. Smiling as Tony sighed in his sleep and shifted a bit on the bed, Jethro started nuzzling Tony's neck. He kissed up and down, licking and nibbling as he went.

Tony awoke with a start, briefly forgetting where he was and at almost the same instant wondering who was on top of him and kissing his neck. He grinned and relaxed as he remembered. "Mmm, Jethro," he sighed, wrapping his arms around the other man. "Nice way to wake up," he said.

Gibbs didn't reply he kept focussed on the task at hand…and mouth. He pushed the t-shirt up over Tony's lightly haired chest, his fingers pausing to pinch one of the nipples, making Tony gasp and squirm.

Tony pulled Jethro up and claimed his mouth for a ravishing kiss, pushing his tongue into Jethro's mouth and moaning when the he did the same to Tony.

Jethro shifted so their morning erections were pressing together through their underwear and he started thrusting against Tony. It didn't take long for either of them to come and Jethro fell into his orgasm first with Tony tumbling into his own a few seconds later.

The two man lay entwined for a few minutes, their breathing evening out as they rested. Jethro nuzzled Tony's neck again before rolling off of him. "If you want to get home and get some clothes and still get to work on time--"

"I've got spare clothes in my kit bag," Tony said. "That's if you don't mind me using your shower and getting some breakfast here," he said, shyly, lowering his gaze from Gibbs'. He hoped Jethro wouldn't think he was being too presumptuous.

Putting his fingers under Tony's chin, Jethro tilted his head up, grinning at him before giving him another thorough kiss. When he lifted his head, Jethro was still smiling. "No problem. You can get a shower while I make breakfast…and coffee."

"Sounds good," Tony said getting out of the bed and stripping as he headed to the bathroom. Jethro just watched the view until Tony left his sight. He quickly changed his underwear and grabbed a robe before going down to the kitchen to start breakfast.

Twenty minutes later, Gibbs was finishing his breakfast when a freshly scrubbed DiNozzo walked into the kitchen, carrying his kit bag. He pulled out a shirt and pants, having already put on his boxer briefs.

"There's an iron and ironing board in the laundry room if you want to iron your clothes," Gibbs offered.

"Iron my clothes? " Tony looked at Gibbs like he was crazy. He showed Gibbs the washcloth he'd used in the shower, walked into the laundry room, threw his shirt, pants, and the cloth into the dryer, set it for ten minutes before heading into the kitchen.

Gibbs looked at him. "What on earth?"

"It gets the wrinkles out a lot faster and with a lot less work," Tony explained.

Gibbs shook his head. "You'd never make it in the military, DiNozzo. I'm gonna hit the shower, there's food on the stove and coffee on the counter. Be ready to go by the time I'm done. Right?"

"Aye, aye, sir," Tony said, laughing as he mock-saluted Gibbs.

The older man laughed as he went down the hallway into the bathroom.

When Jethro got back to the kitchen, Tony was sitting at the table, waiting for him. "Ready to go?"

Tony stood, grabbing his kit bag. "Yeah, but…well, are YOU okay?" he asked, reaching out to caress Jethro's shoulder.

Before answering, Jethro took Tony's hand and brought the palm to his mouth kissing it. "I'll be okay…getting you, being with you? That's helped me a lot…," Jethro paused, still holding Tony's hand, his blue eyes piercing Tony's gaze. "I'm not sure where this is going to go…but I want to try," he finished quietly.

Tony pulled Jethro closer. "Me too. I've been attracted to you for a while so I'd really like this to work out…I want it to work," he said, his gaze never leaving Jethro's. He placed a chaste kiss on the older man's mouth, then smiled at him. "So are we gonna meet up here after work?"

"Yeah. You can make me supper," Jethro said, laughing. He let go of Tony's hand, "We'd better get going."

"Ha! You'd be surprised at what I can cook," Tony replied as they headed out to their vehicles and to work.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

"Well, take me back down where cool water flows, yeah.
Let me remember things I love"
"Green River"

Two weeks after Tony and Jethro had got together, Tony left work before Jethro as the other man had a late meeting with Director Morrow. Tony was headed to Jethro's house, where he now spent most of his off time, and was going to make supper for them. When he pulled into the driveway, he noticed a taxicab parked there and he saw an older man sitting on the front steps. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Tony climbed out of his car and headed for the house.

When the older man saw Tony, he stood up and approached him. Tony felt dread as he realised it was Jethro's father. "What are you doing here, Mr. Gibbs? I thought Jethro made it clear that he didn't want to see you?" he asked, his voice hard.

"I know my son won't speak to me, but I need you to give him a message for me. Please," he begged.

Tony stared at the older man, unsure of what to do. Then the elder Gibbs started coughing which made him double over. Immediately moving to his side, Tony asked, "Are you okay, Mr. Gibbs?

Once the coughing stopped, Gibbs stood up and turned to Tony, his eyes the same shade as his son's but much, much colder. "No, no, I'm not. In fact, I'm dying. The doctors have given me four weeks. Can you tell Jethro I'm heading home…and that I'd like to see him before I die," he said.

"I don't know if he'll listen to me," Tony said quietly.

The elder Gibbs snorted. "Stubborn cuss like most Gibbs men," he paused for a moment. "All I'm asking is that you pass my message on to him. Will you?"

Tony nodded. "Yes, I will."

Nodding his thanks, the old man turned and got into the cab. Tony watched as the cab pulled out and went down the road. With a heavy sigh, he turned and went into the house, wondering how this would complicate things.

Forty-five minutes later, Tony was putting the finished touches on the chicken dinner he'd prepared when Jethro arrived home. Tony debated not telling Jethro anything until after they'd eaten their supper but he knew that would upset his lover even more.

Jethro walked over and met Tony with a kiss, which he returned. "How did your meeting go?"

"Fine. Just budget and administrative stuff. The usual," Jethro said.

"Jethro, um, I've got to tell you something," Tony said quietly.

Jethro looked at his lover with suspicion, his eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Your father was here when I got home; he wanted me to tell you…to tell you that he's dying. They've given him four weeks and he said to tell you he's gone home. He wants to see you," Tony said quickly and waited for the explosion.

He didn't have to wait long. Anger and disgust filled Jethro's blue eyes. "Why the hell would he think I'd even fucking care?"

Tony didn't speak; nothing he'd say would matter to Jethro at this moment in time.

"So, he's dying and I'm supposed to forget everything he did to my family? I'm supposed to fucking care? The hell with it! The hell with HIM!" Jethro yelled. He stormed out of the room and Tony heard him stomping down the basement stairs. A few minutes later he heard the sounds of Jethro working on his boat. Serving up his own supper, Tony put Jethro's serving on a plate for later. He knew Jethro wouldn't be up for quite a while. Sighing he sat down to eat his supper. Alone.

Later in the evening, Tony was sitting on the couch watching "Fear Factor" on the big TV that had appeared about three days after he and Jethro had become an item. Tony grinned as he thought about that and the fact that Gibbs had also bought a satellite dish. He loved Gibbs and was pretty sure the feeling was returned. They hadn't actually said it…but Tony felt more secure in his relationship with Jethro than he had with any one else before. Secure enough that he was thinking this might be "the one"; hell, he was _sure_ it was.

He heard Jethro coming up from the basement and listened. The other man didn't bother going into the kitchen, instead he came right into the den to where Tony was. Jethro sat down then he shifted so that he was lying with his head on Tony's lap and he opened the magazine he'd brought with him, the latest issue of "Wooden Boat".

Tony didn't say anything, just slid one hand over so it was resting on Jethro's chest, his fingers sliding into the spaces between the buttons on his shirt, barely touching the warm skin beneath. His other hand stroked gently through the grey hair on Jethro's head and Tony felt Jethro relax against him even more.

When Tony's show was finished, Jethro spoke. "I haven't been back to Gibbsville, Gibbs Mountain, back to our farm since…since Mama and I moved up to Baltimore with Starr and George." He paused. "I don't know if I want to see him again," he said.

"I can't say that I know what you're going through or how you're feeling but if you go see him…maybe you can put him…put what happened behind you? Even if it's to see him and tell him you hate his guts…" Tony offered quietly.

Jethro got up off the sofa and walked over to look out the window. "I'm scared, Tony. What if he makes me feel sorry for him? I'm not sure I want to forgive him, even if I could…" he trailed off.

Standing, Tony turned the TV off before going to stand behind Jethro, sliding his arms around his lover's waist and pressing a kiss to his neck. "Maybe it will help. I don't think it would hurt to try…but it's up to you. Forgiving him doesn't mean you have to forget what happened and forgiving isn't making everything he's done all right. What it will do is help YOU. Let you work through the anger…let you get some measure of peace and let go of the past. But I'll support you whatever you decide, Jethro," Tony said.

Turning around in Tony's embrace, Jethro lifted his hand and cupped the side of Tony's face. "For someone who can be such a smartass, you're pretty damn smart." Jethro smiled a gentle smile, then leaned in and softly kissed him. When they broke the embrace, Jethro stared at Tony; the younger man returned the regard. "Tony, I love you."

The smile that spread across Tony's face was enough to light up the room. "I love you, too," he whispered before claiming Jethro's mouth in a passionate kiss.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

The next day, Friday, Tony found himself on a plane, sitting next to his lover, flying into Kentucky. As with most things in his life, Jethro had decided to deal with his father and those…issues immediately. Director Morrow had given Jethro compassionate leave and Tony was taking a vacation day.

Once the flight was under way, Tony reached over and quickly squeezed Jethro's hand. Jethro returned the squeeze as he turned to look at Tony. "Thanks for coming with me," he said quietly.

"You think I'd pass up the chance to visit Gibbsville?" Tony smirked.

"DiNozzo."

"Hey," Tony said softly, "you know I couldn't, that I wouldn't let you face this by yourself, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know."

The two men were silent for a few minutes. "Hey, Boss, you said there was a family farm? Who owns it?"

"I do, my father signed it over to Mama before he went to prison and it passed to me when she died. My cousin, Jed, and his wife, they live up the road but run the land on the farm and look after the house. It gets rented every once in a while…" Jethro spoke quietly before turning to stare out the window.

"I'd like it if you showed me around a bit. I'd really like to see where you grew up. Maybe meet some of your family," Tony said. "I mean, it wasn't all bad, your life there?"

"No, no. It wasn't all bad. I loved living there. I just wish my father hadn't ruined it all," Gibbs said tersely.

Tony reached for and held onto his lover's hand again. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. If I could change things you know I would."

Jethro smiled at Tony. "I know and I love you for it."

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Three hours later, they pulled into the driveway of Jethro's cousin's farm. They climbed out of the car, and Jethro smiled as his cousin and his wife came to greet them. Tony could see a family resemblance between Jethro and his cousin--similar around the eyes and mouth and both men were grey. Jed Gibbs wasn't quite as tall as Jethro and weighed much more. His wife was short and thin, with shoulder length blond hair and a pretty face.

"Jet! It's been way too long!" Jed Gibbs said, embracing his cousin.

"Hey, Jed, it's good to see you," Jethro said. He turned and hugged his cousin's wife. "Sue-Beth, it's great to see you too," he said warmly.

"It's been too long, Jethro Gibbs, since you've been home!" she gently admonished him.

Remembering his manners, Jethro introduced his partner. "Tony DiNozzo, this is my cousin, Jedidiah Gibbs and his wife Sue-Beth," he said.

Tony shook hands with both of them and then Sue-Beth put her arm around him. "You look famished young man, come on in the house, both of you, I've got lunch waiting for you."

"Oh, I'm fine ma'am," Tony began to answer, only to have his stomach rumble loudly. "I guess I'm hungrier than I thought!" Everyone laughed as they headed into the house.

Tony and Jethro were washing up at the kitchen sink, when Tony asked, "Do they know about us?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, Tony, they're not prejudiced against gays. Their younger daughter, Jilly, is a lesbian. They've learned to be tolerant," Jethro replied.

Tony found the experience of eating with this Gibbs family comfortable and relaxed. And Sue-Beth was one hell of a cook. When they'd finished dessert, Tony helped Sue-Beth clear the table while Jethro talked with Jed.

"I heard about uncle Luther. We all have, you know how the women in this family love to talk," Jed said with a little laugh.

"Yeah, I remember," Jethro said wryly. "Do you know where my father is? Is he at the hospital?"

"Nah, he's in at Foster's Home--Susan Foster runs it, it's a palliative care and old folks homes. It's on Oak Street across from Max's," Jed informed him.

"Max's is still around? God, I remember going there when I was a kid."

"Yeah, ol' Max died…must've been seven, eight years ago. His daughter, Maxine took it over. Gibbsville's changed a fair bit since you've been here, we've got a few of them chain stores. But there's still some that's the same."

"I'll check out while I'm here, I'm sure. Thanks for all your help over the years, Jed, with the farm and all," Jethro said quietly.

"Hey, you're family, least I could do. Oh, yeah, Sue-Beth and I went over and opened up the house for you, been almost a year since anyone's rented it. We picked up some groceries for you, too," Jed said.

"Let me pay you for--"

"Don't worry about it, Jet. You're family," Jed waved off Jethro's offer.

"Thanks," Jethro said. "I guess Tony and I should get going, head over to the homestead."

The two men got up and headed into the kitchen where they found Tony and Sue-Beth finishing up with the loading the dishwasher. Sue-Beth picked a couple large containers up off the counter, handing them to Tony. Then she turned to Jethro. "I've made you some supper, so you won't have to worry about making anything today. I've included some pie, too. Now, don't you go telling me I didn't have to; I wanted to, so don't complain!"

Jethro laughed. It was good to be around his extended family again. "Yes ma'am," he said semi-seriously. "Thank you, Sue-Beth, we appreciate everything you've done for us; you too, Jed," Jethro said.

"It's nothing, besides, you're family!" Sue-Beth said echoing her husband.

"Tony, we should get going," Jethro said, watching as his lover gave and received a warm embrace with Sue-Beth and a handshake from Jed. Then it was Jethro's turn.

"You boys stop back to say good-bye before you leave, now," Sue-Beth admonished them. "And good luck with everything," she added as she hugged him.

"Take care," Jed added.

"We will, and thanks," Tony said.

Twenty minutes later, Tony and Jethro were pulling into the driveway of a two storey white house. "This is it?" Tony asked.

Jethro turned the car off and sat back, looking around. "Yeah, it is. Oh, Jed and Sue-Beth got us some food and opened the house up for us yesterday."

Reaching a hand over to caress Jethro's shoulder, Tony asked, "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing…Hell, I'm not sure how I'm doing," Jethro said with a quick glance at Tony. "C'mon, lets go in."

The two men made short work of getting their luggage into the house and into one of the bigger bedrooms. They were staying until Tuesday morning, when they'd fly back to Washington. When they'd finished unpacking, Tony sat on the side of the bed, looking at Jethro. "So, what's the game plan?" he asked.

Jethro looked at his watch, it was just after 1 pm. "I want to go into town, see Luther. May as well do it sooner rather than later," he said quietly.

"Do you want me to come along with you, or would you rather be by yourself?"

"I'd like you to come along. I'll have to see Luther on my own…something I have to do on my own but it'd be nice if I had you there after I see him," Jethro said, uncomfortable in exposing his needs so clearly.

Tony stood up and hugged his lover. "Of course, I'll go with you," he said before kissing Jethro, fully and completely.

Twenty minutes later, the two men were driving down the main drag in Gibbsville. Tony had managed to get Jethro talking about how the town had looked when he was kid, what things had changed and what had stayed the same. Jethro shared some of the more amusing stories of his childhood. As they got closer to the palliative care home his father was in, Jethro got quieter. He didn't say anything as he pulled into the parking lot.

Reaching over, Tony grasped Jethro's knee reassuringly. "I'll wait for you out here in the car," he said.

"Okay," Jethro replied, taking Tony's hand in his for a quick squeeze before releasing it and quickly getting out of the car. He wasn't looking forward to this but he was a Marine and Marines didn't run away from fear or discomfort.

Jethro strode quickly and determinedly across the parking lot and into the entrance of the plain, two-storey building. He stopped inside the doors, the sights and smells assaulting his senses. It didn't look quite as sterile and lifeless as a hospital, but the smell of illness, old age, and death permeated the air as strongly as any hospital.

He walked over to the reception desk where the perky blonde behind it greeted him cheerfully. "How can I help you, sir?"

"I'm Jethro Gibbs, here to see my father, Luther Gibbs."

She quickly checked a list, before she pointed down a side hallway. "Mr. Gibbs is in room 119. Down there on the left, sir."

"Thank you," Jethro said tersely, following her directions.

Knocking on the door, he received no response so he made his way into the room quietly. He found his father sound asleep on the bed. Luther Gibbs looked withered and weak, making Jethro wonder if the man had every really been as big as he'd seemed when Jethro was a child. Watching his father, Jethro felt a small pang of…sadness, maybe even sympathy. He didn't want to feel anything like that for his bastard of a father; his own anger had fuelled him for so long it was like a comfortable sweater; familiar, fitting in all the right places. Not usually given to deep introspection, Jethro thought about what Tony had said about forgiveness...maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to do that someday soon. Not right now. But soon.

"Luther," Jethro spoke loudly hoping to wake the old man.

Luther was awake instantly and he looked at his son, amazement on his features. "Jethro? I didn't think you'd come," he said in a sleep-drenched voice.

"I'm still not sure it's for the best, but you did ask. And you are dying," Jethro replied. He pulled a chair over closer to the bed, but not so close his father could touch him. "What do you want, Luther?"

The older man stared out his window for several seconds. He turned his head so that his steely blue-eyed gaze met the equally steely gaze of his son. "I'm sorry for what I did, Jethro. For what you saw; for what I put you and your mother through. I know it doesn't change anything, doesn't bring Judd or Billy back. But I wanted you to know that I regret what I did…that I've regretted it every day of my life since then. I killed one son and lost the other that day. I am sorry." His speech seemed to drain Luther, and he lay back on the bed, his eyes closing as he murmured, "I'm sorry, Jethro," again.

His son could not speak for several seconds; his normally controlled emotions seemed to be swirling out of control. What could he say? His father was right, it changed nothing…well almost nothing. "You're right. It doesn't bring them back. I'm not sure I can forgive you, at least not yet. I've carried this for too long. But it doesn't seem the impossibility it once did," Jethro mused.

"Your young man is helping you?"

"My what? Oh, the one you spoke too? His name's Tony. Yeah, he's been helping me out a lot lately. More than I would've guessed. I'm sure you don't approve of our relationship," Jethro said the last snidely.

Luther looked at his son again. He chuffed a laugh. "Would my approval or disapproval really matter? It's not for me, but believe it or not, Jethro, I've lived and learned. If it's right for you, it's none of my business. Besides if he can help you with getting rid of some of your anger, who am I to argue?" Luther could see that Jethro was getting restless. "I know you're going to leave soon and that I probably won't see you again before I die. I do love you, Jethro, you're still my son," he said quietly.

Jethro stared at Luther for what seemed an eternity, but was really only seconds. He pushed down his feelings any sympathy or sadness or love he might feel for this man. "I've got to go. Good bye Luther," he said making a hasty retreat.

"Good bye, Jethro," Luther said, watching sadly as he saw his son for what was surely the last time.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Tony said nothing when Gibbs had come out of the home. He could tell from the look on Jethro's face that the older man was "processing" something. While he didn't want to talk now, if he followed his usual pattern, he would later. It was a tense, quiet drive back to the farm.

When they got back to the farm, Jethro sat in the car for a few minutes, while Tony climbed out to wait for him. Slamming his fist against the steering wheel, Jethro cursed his father. Then he climbed out of the car. He paced back and forth in front of it, his footsteps kicking up the dust. After a few minutes, Jethro turned and headed for the barn, the set of his shoulders broadcasting his stress.

Unsure what his lover was doing, Tony followed silently behind Gibbs, who was almost thrumming with tension. Once they were inside the barn, Tony watched Jethro climb quickly up into the loft, and as the other man hadn't told him to leave or said he wanted to be alone, Tony followed him. When he got up there, he saw Jethro settled by the open loft window so Tony sat down behind him, being quiet, allowing Jethro his space but close enough to be there if Jethro needed him.

"Tony, hold me," Jethro whispered hoarsely a few minutes later. Tony obliged, moving to sit behind Jethro, settling his lover between his legs, arms wrapped around him. Jethro leaned his head back against Tony's shoulder, clasping his hands over Tony's. When he spoke again, it was quietly, pain lacing his voice. "I wish I could forget, sometimes, it hurts so much. I should've done something to stop him. I feel guilty sometimes that I didn't. I know there wasn't much I could do, I was only eleven…"

Knowing there was nothing he could say, no words that could take away Jethro's pain, Tony kept silent, reassuring his lover through his touch.

Jethro sighed. "I still don't know how to feel about my father. I hate this," he said then fell silent. The two men sat there for another half hour or so before heading back into the house.

Once they were inside, Tony looked at Jethro. The older man was tired and drained. Remembering the big old cast iron tub he'd seen in the bathroom upstairs, he made a decision. "You know what you need?" When Jethro looked at him quizzically, Tony continued, "A nice hot bath. Let's go upstairs, I'll run a bath for you."

"It's the middle of the afternoon--"

"And you've had a long, very stressful day. Don't argue with me. Let's go!"

Jethro smiled and acquiesced, following his lover upstairs. Tony went ahead of him into the bathroom. Starting the water to fill the tub, Tony called Jethro into the room.

When Jethro came in, Tony pulled him over closer to the tub and started undressing him. "What, are you gonna wash my back?" he asked, his smile underlined by his teasing tone.

"Yep and if you're a really good boy, I might wash some other body parts," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Tony, you're crazy, but I love you anyway," Jethro said, but he didn't stop his lover from stripping him down and walking him over to the tub. "I tend to splash a lot in the tub, you might not want to get your clothes wet," Jethro said with an almost feral smile.

Tony laughed and stripped down to his black boxer briefs. "That better?" he asked. Jethro nodded as he sat down in the tub and slowly slid down so the water was just under his collarbone and he murmured appreciatively.

Leaning over, Tony gave Jethro a quick kiss before kneeling on the floor beside the tub. He grabbed a washcloth and the soap then reached down and picked up one of Jethro's legs. Starting with the foot, Tony cleaned his lover, using a firm enough touch that he wouldn't tickle Jethro's somewhat sensitive feet. He finished one leg then moved on to the other. Gently washing over Jethro's hips and groin, Tony smiled at the satisfied moans of his relaxing lover.

Jethro had laid his head back, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the loving touch of Tony washing him. After such a long, emotionally draining day this was just what he needed. It felt like heaven as Tony swept the washcloth over his abdomen then up across his chest, it was almost a massage. Tony washed his arms, and then moving around to the back of the tub, he massaged Jethro's shoulders with soap and washcloth before urging him to lean forward so Tony could do his back. When he finished Jethro's back, Jethro lay back in the tub again and smiled when he felt the washcloth slide gently over his neck and face, Tony even washed his ears.

Opening his eyes when Tony was done, Jethro stared at his lover for a few minutes. "Thanks, that felt wonderful. I'll have to get you to do that more often," he grinned.

Tony smiled in return. "Anytime, just ask," he said. "C'mon, get out of that tub and I'll dry you off. Then maybe we can take a nap," he said.

Jethro stood up and Tony helped him step out of the tub. "A nap?" he asked while Tony used a big fluffy towel to dry him off.

"Well, I'm tired…I'm sure you could use the rest. Besides, we don't actually have to _sleep_," Tony replied.

Tony admired the view as Jethro walked into the bedroom. He quickly hung up the towel and followed his lover into the other room. By the time Tony had stripped off his underwear, Jethro was already under the blankets, half asleep. As soon as Tony climbed in next to him, Jethro pulled Tony close, cuddling up to him. Tony smiled as he wrapped his arms around Jethro and felt the older man's breathing lapse into the steady, deep rhythm of sleep.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Monday morning, as the two men sat at the breakfast table eating, Jethro said, "I'm going to sell the farm."

Tony looked at him in surprise. "Are you sure?"

Jethro nodded. "Yeah, I'm selling it to Jed's son, Les. He's getting married in a couple months and is looking for a farm." Jethro shrugged. "It's not like I'm ever going to have children. The farm should stay in the family."

Tony moved over and hugged his lover, giving him a chaste kiss. "Sounds like a plan. And if it's what you really want to do, I'm behind you all the way."

"Thanks, Tony," Jethro replied, stroking the side of his lover's face. "I've got to go through the family stuff, most of it's packed away…before we left, Mama packed it all up. I'll take that with me. The furniture and stuff, Les and his wife can keep or get rid of."

The two men spent that afternoon and the next morning sorting through the family pictures and papers that were in the attic. Jethro also got in touch with his cousin and his cousin's lawyer to get the papers drawn up for the transfer of ownership. Jed decided to buy the farm and give it to his son as a wedding gift.

By midday Tuesday, Tony and Jethro were on the flight back to Washington. Jethro had signed the papers that sold the farm to his cousin, before they left. Jed Gibbs had reassured Jethro that he would always have a place to stay if he ever wanted to come and visit. Jethro had later told Tony that he might come back to visit once in a while…that he'd missed his extended family.

Looking over at Jethro, who was engrossed in a book, Tony knew that Jethro would probably visit once in a while and he was certain that they'd be back for Luther's funeral in a few weeks. Things weren't looking good for the older Gibbs. Jethro hadn't gone back to see his father, and Tony didn't think Jethro would see his father alive again.

He knew, too, that when Luther Gibbs did die, Jethro would have more to deal with, but Tony was hopeful that his lover could deal with it better than he had all these years. Even in the few days since they'd arrived on Gibbs Mountain, Tony had seen some of the weight of what happened lift off his lover. What had happened to Jethro would never leave him, after all, this was real life, not a movie with a neatly wrapped ending.

Tony reached over and gently caressed Jethro's arm. Jethro looked at him and Tony smiled, enjoying the smile he got in return. Knowing he was feeling like a bit of romantic, Tony felt that as long as they had each other, he was sure they could handle anything life threw at them. It was as happy an ending as you could get in this life.

//**the end**\\