Email: slashgirl@gmail.com

WARNING: Rated NC 17 for graphic descriptions of m/m sex; spouse
abuse and violence.(No, I didn't pick on Blair again, he's the
relatively happy one here).

NOTES: This story came to me out of the blue (from the muse, I
guess). This probably qualifies as an AU story. My take on Jim's
saying his mother was "gone" is that she'd left the family. If
she were dead, I think he'd have come right out and said so. I
could be wrong.

Please note: this series was written before Jim's parents' names were
mentioned on the show.


Family pictures 1
by Stacy L.A. Stronach
July 1997

1997, Blair Sandburg's Office

Sadryna Cameron paused outside the office of her fellow graduate
student, Blair Sandburg, and looked at her watch. She was half an
hour early for her meeting with the man and wasn't sure if he'd
be there or not. As she was about to knock, the door was opened
by a tall, rather handsome man, with brush cut light brown hair,
and sky blue eyes. He looked at her and nodded curtly, brushed
past her, then paused, staring at her intensely.

When his eyes met hers, Sadryna felt a shock of ... electricity?
No, it was more like recognition, but she knew she'd have
remembered meeting someone as imposing as him. However, she
couldn't shake the feeling that she knew the man.

Jim Ellison looked at the young woman, wondering if he knew her,
she seemed familiar. Maybe one of Blair's old flames? No, he knew
they'd never actually met, but she reminded him of someone, he
just couldn't place who. She was a beautiful woman, with almost
waist length light brown hair, her eyes almost as bright blue as
his own. She was a couple inches shorter than Blair and certainly
had an attractive figure.

Blair watched them staring at each other, feeling his jealousy
starting to surface. Jim was _his_, and he didn't care if this
was that pheromones thing again, he was not sharing his lover.
Clearing his throat, he said, "Hi, can I help you?"

When he spoke, Sadryna looked at him, and Jim continued on his
way down the hall. She had to smile at the look of possessiveness
and jealousy in Blair's eyes. "Yeah, I'm Sadryna Cameron, I'm
supposed to meet with Blair Sandburg."

"That's me, man. Hey, it's great to finally meet you," Blair
said, his attitude softening somewhat, as he reached out to shake
her hand.

She took his hand, and thought, *Hmmm, this one is definitely
more my type* as she looked at him. He was a little taller than
her, with shoulder length, dark brown curly hair and the most
gorgeous blue eyes she'd ever seen on a man. He had the most
kissable mouth, and a nice compact body, and...*Whoa, down girl,
it's a pretty sure thing this one's taken*. "Nice to meet you,
too, Blair, after all those phone conversations, it's good to
finally put a face to the voice," she replied, *and a gorgeous
face it is* she thought, as she sat down in the only other chair
that wasn't piled high with papers. "Who was that guy who was
leaving?" she inquired.

Blair sent her a narrow look, "That was my lover, Jim Ellison,
why?"

Laughing, Sadryna replied, "Don't worry, Blair, you're more my
type than he is. I was just wondering, cus I could swear I know
him, but I'm sure I've never met him. Weird, huh?"

"Yeah, kinda. You said you were interested in looking at some of
my Burton monographs?" Blair asked, ignoring her comment.

Sadryna studied Blair, considering how much she should share with
him, how much she could trust him. "I kind of misdirected you on
that, Blair, what I really wanted to talk to you about is your
research on Sentinels. I didn't want to say as much over the
phone and make you think I was doing research in the same area,
but I have a... a private interest in this."

"A private interest? What do you mean by that? And just how much
do you know about my research?" Blair questioned, not quite
trusting this woman.

"I know that you're doing your dissertation on Sentinels, and
that you're studying one, one with all five senses. As to my
interest, let's just say I know someone in a similar situation."

"You know a Sentinel? How many senses does he have heightened?
And how did you find out what I was doing?"

"Professor Sondheim is an old friend of my father's, and he's
aware of my interest in this area. And _she_ has all 5 senses
heightened, as your subject does."

Blair stopped to consider what she'd said. "Cool, man, that would
only be the second case I've heard of where the subject has all 5
senses. What can you tell me about her? How long have her senses
been active?"

"She's 26, and her senses have been active since she can
remember, which is about age 1. At age 3, she was diagnosed with
autism, with her hearing so sensitive, she basically withdrew
within herself, so it wouldn't hurt. I think you'd call it
`zoning'. Her parents sent her to a specialist in Europe, who
worked with autistic kids. His theory was that many autistic
children have a heightened sense of hearing, that everyday noise
levels are tortuous sounds for them. That their way of dealing
with it is to withdraw into themselves, much as she did. The
specialist helped her learn to control her hearing and by the
time she was 5, he considered her cured. She applied what he
taught her about controlling her hearing to the rest of her
senses. She had some problems when she hit puberty, the strength
of her senses almost doubled, but she used the lessons she'd
learned earlier in life to help herself. Her son, who is less
than a year old, also appears to have all 5 senses on-line."

"Wow, man. That is like _so_ cool! Her son is a Sentinel as well?
Man, this could really make my study interesting, do you think
she'd agree to let me observe her as well?"

"Actually, I know she's not interested in being a research
subject, nor will she allow her son to become one. She has a life
to lead, and really doesn't want any attention drawn to her
abilities."

Blair was a disappointed with this news, but he thought that if
he could just meet her, he might be able to talk her into it.
"Do you think I could meet with her, man, I'd love just to be
able to talk to her. Could you arrange that, please?"

Sadryna thought for a moment, then sighed. "Look, I'll give her a
call, see if she'll have dinner with us tonight, okay? But I can
guarantee that you won't be able to talk her into letting you
study her, Blair."

"I just want to talk to her. What makes you think I'd try and
talk her into letting me study her, anyway?" Blair asked, trying
for the innocent look, and failing, miserably.

"Oh, I don't know, Blair," she replied, smiling. "Look, if you
could give me a couple minutes alone, I'll give her a call right
now and see if she'll come over for supper, okay?"

"Sure thing, go ahead," Blair replied, getting up and leaving his
office, to wait outside the door.

Dialling her home number, Sadryna simply told her housekeeper/
nanny, Mary O'Donnell to expect two extra people for dinner.
"You can come back in, Blair. She'll be there."

"What time should I show up?"

"How's six sound? And why don't you bring Jim along? Make it a
date!" Sadryna said, winking at Blair. "Look, Blair, I've gotta
run, I've got an appointment with David MacKinnon over in Celtic
Studies, so we'll see you guys at six, okay?" she said, as she
handed him a card with her home address on it.

"Oh, yeah, Sadryna, we'll definitely be there. See ya then,"
Blair replied.


Summer 1968, The Ellison Household

Cathryn Ellison packed everything she could into her two large
suitcases, her tears almost blinding her. *God, I hate that
bastard, for what he's making me do. For what he's doing to
Stevie and Jimmy.* Her husband, Joe, was forcing her to leave,
and he wasn't letting her take _his_ sons, that was certain. She
didn't have to hurry, but she was, the sooner she got this over
with, the better. Joe had left to go be with the boys who had
been visiting with his parents for the past two weeks, and had
told Cathryn she'd better have her stuff out of his house by
Monday, because whatever was left, he'd burn. She grabbed the
photo albums, unsure, but then decided to take them, Joe had
slides of most of the pictures anyway. She had just about worked
herself into a frenzy, when her best friend, Stella Cameron,
grabbed her by the arms, making her stand still. Stella and her
husband, Michael, were helping Cathryn to move her stuff, in
fact, she was going to be staying with them until she could get
back on her feet.

Stella looked into her friend's brilliant blue eyes, and spoke,
"Cat! Calm down, breathe, love, breathe. We've got more than
enough time, okay?"

Taking a couple deep breaths, pushing her light brown hair away
from her face and wiping the tears from her eyes, Cathryn looked
at her friend and nodded, "Yeah, I know, but this just hurts so
much. I mean, I can't even say goodbye to my boys. Damn that
bastard to hell!!"

"I agree, but once you're out of here, we'll look at trying to
solve the other problems, but we have to concentrate on this
right now," Stella said firmly.

Michael came back in, looked at the last few boxes and asked, "Is
this everything, Cathryn?"

"Yes, it is," she said, sadly, as she walked out of her home for
the last time.

Later that afternoon, Cathryn sat nude in front of the vanity in
the guest bedroom of her friends house. She studied her body,
noticing that the bruises were finally starting to fade, although
she still had one hell of a shiner around her right eye. *This is
all my own fault* she thought, as she remembered the past few
weeks.

She'd started an affair with her next door neighbour, a young
Hispanic man, Juan Carlos Garcia, about 3 months ago. At first,
they'd had to sneak around, a night here, an afternoon there, but
when the summer had started and the boys had been sent to stay
with Joe's parents for a couple of weeks, as they did every
summer, the affair had intensified. Carlos worked the nightshift
at a factory, and with Joe at work all day, the lovers had
started spending their afternoons together. Which had worked
wonderfully, until last Tuesday, when Joe had arrived home early,
and discovered the two of them in bed together.

Joe had hit the younger man several times, then literally threw
him out of the house, throwing his clothes behind him. Upstairs,
Cathryn had locked the bedroom door, and was trying to get
dressed, she'd never seen Joe that angry, she was scared.
She heard her husband come back upstairs and he rattled the door
handle. "Let me in there you bitch!" he said, in a barely
controlled
harsh whisper.

"No, Joe, just go away, calm down. We'll talk about this later!"

"We'll `talk' about it now, Cathryn!" he screamed as he kicked
the bedroom door in.

Cat turned around when she heard the wood splinter and couldn't
believe the rage she saw on her husband's face, and was now truly
terrified. She tried to get past him, to escape, but he grabbed
her arm and pulled her back, throwing her onto the bed. She cried
out when she felt the first punch, but after the first few blows,
she just lay there, knowing there was no way she could fight
back.

When he stopped, he'd said, "I want you out of here, Cathryn.
Today. Get your stuff together and get the hell out. A whore like
you isn't fit to raise my sons."

She'd packed her bags, and called Stella, who had come over to
get her and allowed Cat to stay with her. As she sat in front of
the mirror, she knew Joe would make sure, some how, that she
never saw her sons again, and that he'd almost certainly try to
make the boys hate her. *Was it worth it Cat? Was it worth losing
your sons?* she asked herself.

1997, Sadryna Cameron's house

Jim followed Blair up to the front door of Sadryna's house,
smiling at his young lover's enthusiasm. Blair was so hyped about
meeting this woman, he was almost bouncing as he walked. "You
know, Chief, it's a good thing I know why you want to meet this
woman, or I might be jealous."

"Hey, she might have the whole package--a Sentinel and pretty,
man, who knows?" Blair teased.

"I better be the only `package' you're interested in," Jim
replied, giving Blair's ass a hard pinch.

"Oww! Man, that hurt!" Blair exclaimed, as he rang the doorbell.

Mary opened the door, "You must be Mr. Sandburg and Mr. Ellison,
please, come in. May I take your coats, gentlemen?" she said, as
they took their coats off and handed them to her.

Leading them into the dining room, Mary said, "Sadryna will be
with you in a moment," as she left the room.

"Man, this is one nice house," Blair commented, as he sat down at
the table. Then he noticed that there were only 3 places set.
"Damn, I hope that Sentinel woman didn't cancel, man, I'm gonna
be so disappointed."

"No need to be disappointed, Blair, your `Sentinel woman' is
here," Sadryna said, as she walked into the room, her young son
settled on one hip, her arm around him. "Hi, you must be Jim,
I'm Sadryna Cameron, it's nice to `meet' you."

"Yeah, it is, Sadryna. And who's this little fella?" Jim asked,
reaching over to tousle the baby's hair.

"This is my son, Jacob. Would you like to hold him?"

"Sure, why not?" Jim replied, taking the little guy in his arms.

Sadryna pulled the high chair over next to her chair and sat
down, as Jim put the little guy into his high chair.

Blair was just sitting their, staring at Sadryna, trying to get
over his surprise. "You're the Sentinel? Why didn't you just tell
me? Oh, man, this is like so weird."

Laughing, Sadryna replied, "I didn't know you. Still don't
actually, but my instincts tell me I can trust you. That's why I
wanted to meet with you."

Jim spoke up, "You can trust him, Sadryna, I do. Of course, you
don't know me either, but...I'm the one he's doing his
dissertation on, and I trust him."

After dinner, Sadryna took the men into her library as there were
some books she'd mentioned to Blair that he was interested in
looking at.

As Blair and Sadryna discussed some references in an old Celtic
text that she thought might refer to Sentinels, Jim wandered
around the library, looking at the paintings and other books. He
stopped in front of the fireplace to look at the photographs, one
was of Sadryna and Jacob, that looked like it had been taken
shortly after the child's birth. There were pictures of her with
her parents at various ages, and as Jim looked at them, he
thought her mother looked familiar, but he couldn't place her.
Then his eyes fell on something that made his gasp. It was an old
black and white picture, of a young woman with two small boys,
and Jim recognized the photo. He had the same one at home, in his
photo album. It was a picture of him, his brother, Stephen, and
their mother, taken at the beach, when he was 8 and his brother
5, two years before his mother had left them. He looked at the
pictures of Sadryna's parents again, and knew why he recognized
her mother. It was his mother, but she was older, and had dyed
her hair red, which was why he hadn't recognized her right away,
after all, it had been almost 30 years since he'd seen her.

Jim was so focused on the pictures, he didn't realize Sadryna had
walked over to stand next to him, until she spoke. "Looking at
the mugshots, huh?"

Jim's emotions were in turmoil, as he looked down at this young
woman and realized why she'd looked familiar to him earlier that
day--she looked very much like her, no, make that _their_ mother.
Still unsure of how he felt about this, Jim asked her about some
of the other photographs, before pointing out the black and white
one, and asking her about it. "Who are those people?" he asked,
trying to be casual.

"That's my mother, with my older half-brothers, Jimmy and Stevie.
I've never met them, they're from Mom's first marriage," she
replied, sadly.

Jim asked about a couple of the other photos, then inquired,
"Sadryna, are both your parents alive?"

"No, I just have my mum, Dad died 4 years ago," she replied.

Jim let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, "I'm
sorry to hear that, it's hard to lose a parent."


Before Sadryna could reply, Blair called her over to look at
something he'd found in one of the books. Jim stood there, trying
to sort through his tumultuous emotions. He didn't know how he
felt about this, how he was supposed to feel. This could mean a
chance to see his mother again, after all these years, but did he
really want to, after all, she was the one who'd left their
family, for no apparent reason...

Late Summer, 1968, The Ellison household

"I'll race you to the house, Jimmy," his little brother yelled,
as the boys got out of the car.

"No way you'll win, Steve," Jim answered, as he took up the
challenge. They arrived on the front porch at the same time. "You
didn't win!"

"Yeah, well, neither did you! Mommy, we're home!" Stephen called
out, as he went in the front door, his brother right behind him.

"Mommy, where are you?" Stephen called out, again, running
towards the kitchen, looking for his mother. Jim stood in the
doorway to the living room, looking around, knowing that things
were missing, and realizing that those things were items he
associated with his mother. A porcelain statue of a ballerina
that her mother had given her when she was a little girl, the
pictures of his maternal grandparents, which were normally on the
China cabinet, gone as well. Jim had a bad feeling about all
this, and when he turned around to go outside and ask his father,
he saw the man walking in the door.

"Stevie, Jimmy, come here, please," Joe Ellison ordered his sons,
taking them into the living room. Before they could ask him
anything, he spoke. "You're mother's left us, boys, she left
while you were away."

"Why'd she go away, Daddy?" Stephen asked, his voice quavering,
tears starting to gather in his eyes.

"Because she hates all of us. She never loved me, or either of
you, if she had, would she have left us?" Joe answered. Noticing
Stephen's tears, Joe grabbed the little boy by the shoulders,
shaking him. "Men don't cry, Stephen, so act like a man, not like
a little girl! See, your brother isn't crying, why are you? Why
can't you be more like Jimmy?!" he hollered at his youngest son,
indicating Jim's stoic stance.

Jim had learned early in his young life that tears were not
tolerated by his father, that Ellison men never cried, not even
if they were in physical pain.

"Will we ever see--" Jim started, but was cut off by his father.

"No. And neither of you will ever mention your mother again, as
far as this family is concerned, she's dead. Do I make myself
clear, boys?"

Both boys said, "Yes, sir!"

"Now, let's get out there and start unpacking the car. I want you
to take your things upstairs and put them away, immediately," Joe
ordered. The boys obeyed their father, without question or
hesitation, they knew better.

Jim had just finished putting away the last of his clothes, when
he heard the faint sobbing coming from his brother's room. *Good
thing Dad's in the kitchen making dinner, cus if he heard Stevie,
he'd come up here and really give him something to cry about.*
Jim thought, as he crossed the hallway to Stephen's room. He
walked in and saw his brother lying on his bed, his face buried
in a pillow to mask his crying. Sitting beside Stephen, Jim
reached over and started rubbing the boy's back, and stroking his
hair, as he'd seen his mother do so often. Stephen sat up, and
whispered thru his sobs, "Can I have a hug, Jimmy, please?"

Jim didn't say anything, just pulled his sibling into an embrace,
providing as much comfort as he could. He was surprised when he
felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, he hadn't wanted to cry,
but he couldn't help it. He couldn't believe that their mother
would just up and leave them like this.

Both boys were so focused on their pain, they didn't hear Joe
come upstairs, didn't know he was there until he spoke, "For
God's sake, no wonder your mother left, with two snivelling
little boys like you. Stop your balling, wash your hands and get
downstairs, supper's ready."

As the boys got off the bed, Jim was sure they weren't the
reason their mother left, they couldn't be....


1997, The Loft

When they arrived back at the loft, Blair watched as Jim hung his
coat up, then went over and sat on the couch. Jim hadn't said two
words on the way home from Sadryna's, and Blair was worried, he
knew something was wrong, but getting Jim to talk to him was as
difficult as pulling teeth sometimes. Blair walked over and
looked down at his lover, who was sitting there, staring, not
at what was outside but at what was inside himself. He straddled
Jim, his hands going to either side of the other man's face,
forcing him to look up at him. Blair smiled as he felt Jim's
hands come up to rest on his hips, and leaned in to brush a
chaste kiss across his lover's mouth, before asking, "Jim, what's
wrong? You haven't said two words to me since we left Sadryna's."

"Oh, love, it isn't you. It's me, I've found something out,
something that I really have to think about, before I can talk to
anyone about it. Even you. And before you complain, I am _not_
shutting you out. I just need time to...`process it' as your
mother would say. Okay? I will share with you eventually, Blair,
but right now, I need time." Jim replied, looking into the blue
depths of his lover's eyes.

Blair returned the look and thought he saw pain in the sky blue
eyes, his curiosity was roused *What could Jim have found out at
Sadryna's that would upset him so?* and was about to pester Jim
to tell him what was wrong, but something in the man's eyes, the
look on his face, made him stop. Jim had said he'd tell him, so
Blair would have to trust that he would. "Okay, Jim. I love you."

"I love you, too, Blair," Jim said, as he moved his hands up
under Blair's shirt, across his back, pulling him closer, seeking
that mouth for a kiss. Jim sighed as he felt Blair's lips against
his, their mouths opening, their tongues seeking each other,
gently caressing. As Blair trailed kisses along his lover's
jawbone, Jim moved a hand up to twine his fingers in that lovely
curly hair. Moaning as he felt Blair suck on his earlobe and
start to rub their erections together, Jim lost himself to the
sensations, *Oh, God, I need this tonight, need to lose myself in
him, forget everything else*. When he felt Blair starting to undo
his shirt, Jim said, "Let's take this upstairs, baby. I need
you."

Both men sighed as Blair moved off of his Sentinel, then took his
hand, leading him upstairs to their bedroom. Once there, they
quickly divested themselves of their clothing, and Jim gently
pushed Blair onto the bed, lying down on top of his lover,
claiming his mouth for another passionate kiss. Jim pulled out of
the kiss, sucking on Blair's lower lip as he did so. He kissed
his way along the younger man's jawbone, up to his ear, sucking
the lobe into his mouth, tonguing the earrings there, then
blowing gently across the ear, making Blair moan. Making his way
slowly down Blair's neck, sucking and nipping, Jim focused on the
taste of his lover, enjoying it as he always did, that faintly
spicy tang that was `Blair'. To keep from zoning on taste alone,
Jim also listened to the breathy moans that Blair made. Jim had
to smile, normally Blair was constantly talking, encouraging him,
telling him what he wanted. Tonight he seemed to recognize his
lover's need to love him quietly.

Jim slowly kissed his way down to one of Blair's nipples, which
he sucked into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth as he
released it, then sucking on it again. He smiled as he felt
Blair's hands grab a hold of his head, fingers digging into his
scalp. He moved his mouth to Blair's other nipple, repeating the
process, listening to his lover moan, and feeling the young man
writhe beneath him. Jim made his way down to Blair's raging hard
on, gently licking the tip of his cock, tasting the pre cum
there, before sucking the head into his mouth. Blair thrust his
hips up, seeking that warm cavern, wanting his cock to be inside.
Placing his hands on his lover's hips, to hold him still, Jim
slowly deep throated his partner, moving his mouth up and down
Blair's shaft, until he felt the younger man's come spurting down
his throat, and heard the sharp cry of Blair's release.

As Jim moved up to kiss Blair, he reached over to the nightstand
to grab the lubricant. Opening the tube, he spread some on his
fingers, then used them to prepare Blair for him. Blair pulled
his knees to his chest, giving Jim better access and once Blair
started thrusting back against his fingers, Jim applied lube to
his erection, then slowly entered his lover. Jim moaned as he was
enveloped in Blair's hot, tight channel, and Blair moved his legs
up over Jim's shoulders, allowing Jim to go deeper.

He stroked gently in and out of his lover, noticing as Blair's
cock started to harden again, so reached out to stroke him. Jim
lost himself in the sensations he was feeling, the smell of his
lover's arousal, the small whimpering and groaning sounds he was
making as Jim fucked him, the feel of Blair's skin as he touched
him and the feeling of being inside this man, the man that he
loved.

Jim knew he was getting close to orgasm and as he felt Blair come
again, he thrust one last time, as the spasm of Blair's
muscles took him over the edge, and Jim cried out his love's name
as he came. Sighing, he withdrew from his lover, collapsing on
the bed beside him. Blair reached over, and pulled Jim into an
embrace, with the older man's head on his shoulder, wrapping his
arms around him. "I love you, so much, Jim."

"I love you too, Blair," Jim murmured, as both men fell into
deep, dreamless sleep.

Jim rolled over and looked at the clock, groaning inwardly, it
was 4 in the morning and he knew he wouldn't get back to sleep. He
looked at Blair, who was sprawled across the bed, and gathered the
younger man to him. Blair didn't even wake up, just cuddled closer
to him. Jim's mind was going a thousand miles a minute, there was
so much to think about. He had a half sister, his mother was alive,
what was he going to do about it? He started stroking Blair's hair,
and felt himself calm down a little bit, he always found that
relaxing, feeling the silky strands glide over his fingers. *Hmm,
they say if you own a pet, petting them helps reduce stress--maybe
this is related?* Jim thought to himself, and smiled. He didn't
think his lover would appreciate that particular analogy. Although
he did have those "puppy-dog" eyes that he used, when he wanted Jim
to do something he wasn't particularly eager to do.

When Blair woke up a little while later, he found himself in Jim's
embrace and could feel his lover stroking his hair. He sighed, he
could stay like this forever, no complaints. Moving up, he kissed
Jim, "Morning, lover, how long you been awake?"


"Oh, about an hour. I've been thinking, about yesterday, and what
I found out. Sadryna is my half-sister," Jim said, quietly, waiting
for Blair's reaction.

*His half sister, and she's a Sentinel and her son is, this means
it's hereditary and--* Blair shut off the scientist part of his
brain, he could think about that later, this was not what Jim
needed right now. "Your half-sister? Through your mother, I take
it? How did you find out?" Blair asked.

Jim explained about seeing the pictures at Sadryna's house, and how
he thought he'd recognized her when he saw her at Blair's office.

"So, is your mom still alive? Are you going to see her, Jim?"

"Yeah, she is, and I have no idea if I'll go to see her, I mean,
it's been almost thirty years, and...I just don't know, Chief. I'm
going over later today, to talk to Sadryna, and tell her, she
seemed interested in knowing her brothers. This is just so much, so
much to deal with, and I don't know what to do."

Blair didn't say anything, just hugged his lover to him, trying to
comfort him.


Jim sat at his desk, trying to concentrate on his paper work, but
found himself constantly glancing at the picture he'd taken out of
his photo album. The same one that Sadryna had on her mantle. He'd
tried to get in touch with his brother, Stephen, who was on a
business trip in Eastern Europe, but he hadn't been able to reach
him. Of course, the phone service over there was unreliable at the
best of times, so Jim hadn't been that surprised. Knowing he wasn't
going to get any work done, Jim decided to go and visit Sadryna,
after all, she did have a right to know. As he drove over to her
house, he thought about what it was going to be like having a
sister, and a nephew. He also wondered if he would see his mother
again, he still hadn't decided on that, there would be issues to
work out on that one.

Jim rang the doorbell, and Mary answered the door. "Good day, Mr.
Ellison, can I help you?"

"Um, ya, is Sadryna home?" he asked.

"Yes, please, come in. She's in the library," Mary said, as she
led him into the other room. "Sadryna, Mr. Ellison is here to see
you."

"Thanks, Mary. Would you like something to drink, Jim?" Sadryna
asked.

"No, thanks," Jim said, waiting until Mary left, then continued,
"I need to talk to you."

"I hope I'm not in trouble with the police, Jim," she teased.

Jim flashed her a quick smile, "No, no. This is personal
business," he said, seriously, as he took the photo out of his
jacket pocket, handing it to her.

Sadryna gasped when she saw the picture, then looked at Jim, her
eyes full of amazement and joy. "You're Jimmy?" she squeaked,
then she hugged him. Surprised, Jim hugged her back, he hadn't
been sure how she'd react. "Oh, gods, Jim, if you only knew how
much I've wanted to meet you, and to finally find you," she said,
happiness in her voice. "What about Stephen? Do you know where he
is? I'd love to meet him as well."

"Well, Stephen's on a business trip to Eastern Europe right now.
I tried to get a hold of him earlier, but I couldn't. I really
don't know how he'll react to all this, Mom's leaving hit him
harder than me. Actually, we just started talking to each other
again after 15 years," Jim answered.

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking, I mean 15 years is a
long time."

Jim explained what had happened with their father, the car, and
his brother. Looking at his sister, Jim asked, "Sadryna, did our
mother ever tell you why she left us? I mean Dad always told us
that she hated all of us and/or Stephen and I were such horrible
children, that she left. I never knew whether to believe him, I
mean Mom never tried to see us after she left, so..."

"Oh, Jim, you boys were never the reason she left. Did she hate
your father--yes, but not you two," Sadryna replied, seeing the
pain in his eyes, and hearing it in his voice. She reached up to
stroke the side of his face, and hugged him again. "Yes, she did
tell me what happened, a few years ago. I assume you'd like to
know? What?" she asked, curiously, when Jim smiled at her.

"When you touched my face like that, it brought back memories, I
remember that Mom used to do that, to comfort us," Jim answered,
"And yes, I'd like to hear the story."

She led Jim over to the couch, and sat down beside him, holding
onto his hand with both of hers, and taking a deep breath,
started. "It was 1968, and Mom started having an affair with a
neighbour. Your father walked in on them one day, I guess while
you boys were visiting his parents, and he beat the man up, then
went back up and beat Mom up pretty bad. He kicked her out that
same day, telling her that `a whore like you isn't fit to raise
my sons'. She went to stay with my Uncle Michael and Aunt Stella,
well, I wasn't around then, but they ended up being my aunt and
uncle. Michael is my father's brother and Stella is Mom's best
friend."

Jim interrupted her, "Why didn't she go to the cops about the
beating?"

"Jim, think about it. It was '68, back then domestic abuse was a
`family affair'; the only time the cops got involved was when
somebody ended up dead. So, that wasn't really an option, they
would've said she had it coming for cheating on her husband.
Thank the gods, things have finally started to change. Anyway, Joe
gave her a week to get her stuff out of the house, and he'd already
started divorce proceedings. He brought the papers over one day for
her to sign, when my uncle wasn't there, he was her lawyer. Mom
signed them, but what she didn't realize was that he had her sign
an agreement stating that she wouldn't ever try to see you or
Stephen again. My uncle tried to get it nullified, but it was iron
clad. Your mother didn't want to drag you boys thru the whole court
thing, so she didn't fight it. After all, she was an adulteress,
and didn't stand a very good chance of getting
custody, let alone visitation rights. Although, she did sneak
over a few times, to watch you when you were out on the play ground
at your school, but she didn't dare approach you, in
case you told your father. And she did go to both of your high
school graduation's, and she took me with her to yours. I don't
remember much, I was only 5 at the time, and had just arrived
home from the institute in Europe. Believe me, Jim, she hated
herself for what happened, and has always blamed herself, and she
knew Joe would do everything in his power to convince you boys
that she hated you. Looks like she was right," Sadryna concluded,
sadly.

"Yeah, I guess when you're told something often enough as a child,
you end up believing it. Why didn't she try and find us after we
were adults?" Jim asked.

"She was scared, Jim, scared that you guys would reject her, and
she couldn't get over that fear, the more time that went by, the
more frightened she became. After she told me her story, I tried to
convince her to find you, but she wouldn't, she was so damn scared,
hell, she wouldn't even tell me your last name--she didn't want me
to find you either, as much as I would've liked to," she explained.

"You've said that a couple of times, that you wanted to find us,
and you seem so happy to finally know me. Why is that?"

Sadryna laughed, "Well, Jim, I was an only child, and I always
wanted to have siblings but after Mom had me, she refused to have
any more children. I remember Daddy telling me that when she was
pregnant with me, she was terrified that she'd have another son,
and was so relieved when I was a girl. He said that she felt that
having a boy would remind her too much of what she'd lost and she
wouldn't have been able to handle that. Although I think Mom's a
lot stronger than she gives herself credit for. So, you see, my
motives are entirely selfish!"

Jim had to laugh, he figured he was going to like having this young
woman for a sister. "That's okay, most of what anyone does in life
is motivated by selfishness, isn't it. Oh, dear, that makes me
sound rather jaded, doesn't it? And you should be careful what you
wish for, you might get it, cus you've got me for a brother, and
I'm no bargain."

Sadryna sighed, and said, with a twinkle in her eye, "Well, I guess
it's better than nothing, isn't it? But seriously, Jim, I'd
understand if you weren't comfortable having a relationship with
me, I mean, the circumstances and all..."

"I learned my lesson with my brother, Sadryna. Life is too short to
throw family away. And I've never had a sister. I'd really like to
get to know you, and my nephew. I like the fact that I'm an uncle,
it's kinda weird, but I like it," Jim answered.

"I'm so glad, Jim, this is just so wonderful," Sadryna said, as she
hugged him, again. "Oh, gods, Jim, I've been hugging you all over
the place, and I don't even know if you're comfortable with that."

"Oh, trust me, I don't mind."

"Jim, are you, I mean, do you, um, want to see Mom?" Sadryna
hesitantly enquired.

"I don't know, yet Sadryna. So much has happened, and, I'm going to
have to think about it for awhile. I just don't know," Jim
answered, pain darkening his eyes.

"That's all right, I understand," Sadryna said. "Take all the time
that you need."

tbc...