Email: slashgirl@gmail.com

Author's notes: This story first appeared in Mysti's "Come to your senses 3" TS slash
zine. My first published (on paper:) piece, as well as the first story I ever wrote in TS
fandom. Yes, it contains song lyrics...


Possession
By: Stacy L.A. Stronach


Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide.
Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time.
The night is my companion and solitude my guide.
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?


And I would be the one to hold you down, kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away and after I'd wipe away the tears.
Just close your eyes, dear.


Through this world I've stumbled, so many times betrayed.
Trying to find an honest word, to find the truth enslaved.
Oh, you speak to me in riddle, and you speak to me in rhyme.
My body aches to breathe your breath, your words keep me alive.


Into this night I wander, it's morning that I dread.
Another day knowing of the path I fear to tread.
Oh, into the sea of waking dreams I follow without pride.
Nothing stands between us here and I won't be denied.


Blair closed his eyes as the song finished its melancholy tune.
It made him think about Jim, far too much and in a definitely (at least
he figured that, to Jim, it would be) inappropriate manner. He really
did want to be the one to kiss him and take his breath
away. Blair snorted and said under his breath, "Yeah, like that
would happen to me in this lifetime."


"Like what would happen to you in this lifetime, Chief?" Jim
asked, poking his head into Blair's bedroom.


Startled, Blair stammered, "N-nothing, Jim. Just talking to
myself. You know, I really wish you wouldn't eavesdrop on me, or
sneak up on me like that. You just about gave me a coronary,
man."


"Sorry, Chief. If you don't want me to eavesdrop, don't talk to
yourself while I'm here," Jim said smilingly.


"Oh, you are just one big laugh, Jim. Now, go away, I'm trying to grade
some papers, man. You're distracting me!"


"Sorry. I'm going, I'm going," Jim replied, as Blair glared at
him. I really should stop teasing the kid like that, but it's so
easy to get a rise out of him, Jim thought as he went to watch
the basket ball game on TV.


Early the next morning, Jim was awakened by quiet noises from
downstairs. He listened and realized that it was Blair, in the
kitchen, getting his breakfast. He was surprised when he looked
at the clock and saw that it was 5 in the morning, unusually
early for his young Guide. Although, for the past two weeks, it
hadn't been all that unusual, and he wondered if something
was wrong. He decided to try and find out.


When Blair heard Jim's footsteps on the stairs, he turned and
looked, regretting it almost immediately, as all Jim had on was a pair
of black silk boxers. Blair sucked in his breath and turned
around. Damn, I don't need to see him like that. It sure as hell
doesn't help, he thought as he tried to focus on getting his
breakfast ready, not on the image of his partner's beautifully
sculpted body, or the erection that he felt. No, he'd been
thinking about that a little too much lately.


"Good morning, Chief. You're up a little early this morning,
aren't you?"


Blair groaned inwardly and thought, More than you know, Jim, so
much more than you know, but only said, "Oh, I couldn't sleep,
man, so I thought that I'd go into my office to try and
do some work. Look, ah, I'll catch you later, okay?" Blair
answered, trying to make a quick escape. He was blocked by Jim,
the much larger man's hand coming to rest on his shoulder.


"Blair, is there something wrong? Something I can help you
with...?"


"No, man, I'm just having trouble sleeping. You know how hyper I
am sometimes. Look, I'm going now, so I'll see you later," Blair
said as he twisted away from Jim, grabbed his coat and left the
loft.


Jim looked at the door as it closed. It was curious; Blair's
pulse and heart rate had quickened when Jim touched him. He
wondered what the hell that meant, and what was wrong with his
friend. He'd never seen Blair quite so restless as he had been
these past weeks. I'll try again later, when he comes in to the
station, Jim thought as he headed to take his shower.


Jim picked up the phone on the first ring. "Major Crimes,
Ellison."


"Uh, hi Jim, it's me. Look, I won't be able to make it in today.
Umm, I've got a couple of students here for a meeting--it was a
last minute thing, ya know? I hope it's okay, man," Blair
said.


"Yeah, sure, Chief, that's fine. I think it's pretty much a
paperwork afternoon, anyway."


"See you later," Blair said and then hung up before Jim could
respond.


"Yeah, see you," Jim said to the dial tone. He didn't know why,
but he thought Blair was lying to him about why he wasn't coming
in. Jim closed his eyes and tried to remember if he'd heard
Blair's heart rate over the phone line, but realized that even if he
had, he couldn't remember it now. But there had been something in his
voice... Well, Jim was definitely going to sit Blair down
tonight and try to find out what was wrong.




As he drove home from work, Jim thought about how he was going to confront
Blair about what had been happening: the very definite
change in the younger man's schedule; the fact that for the last
couple of weeks Blair seemed to be avoiding Jim, staying in his
room much of the time; when they were working at the station,
Blair was very quiet, almost uncommunicative, and today, not
coming in at all. Jim knew there really was something up. He
just wished he knew what it was.


When Jim got home, he decided to try and find the journal that he knew
Blair kept and while he realized that he really shouldn't
read it, he was worried. As he held the leather-bound volume in
his hand, he thought about it. If he read this and Blair ever
found out, he'd be a dead man. Well, maybe not literally, but it
would really upset Sandburg, and Jim didn't want to do that.
Reconsidering his earlier decision, he put the book back where
he'd found it. As he was leaving the room, he noticed that Blair
had left his CD player on with the CD in it and programmed for
one song only. Curious, Jim picked up the head phones and hit the play
button, and listened as the song started. Not really his
type of stuff, too moody, but then he heard the lyrics.


Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide.
Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time.
The night is my companion and solitude my guide.
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?


And I would be the one to hold you down, kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away and after I'd wipe away the tears.
Just close your eyes, dear.


After listening to the whole song, Jim slowly reached to
turn the machine off as he put the head phones down. Hmmm. . .
Blair's lovesick. I wonder who it is, he thought to himself.
Then, as he reflected back over the last few weeks, he realized
that he was the one that Blair had been avoiding and that any
time he had touched Blair, even casually, the younger man's
heart had raced, and he had flushed slightly. And Jim had smelled something
unusual, but hadn't really stopped to figure out what
it was, but now, as he thought back and remembered the smell, he
realized it was pheromones, arousal.


Jeez, Ellison, you're a great detective, it only took you, what,
a month to figure this one out? Jim smiled to himself. He'd have
a little talk with his Guide tonight, and get it out of him. Jim
was a bit perturbed that Blair hadn't told him, but then he
supposed his Guide assumed that he was totally straight.
Generally, Jim was, but there had been times when he'd been
attracted to men, and this was one of them. He'd known for a
little while now that what he felt for Blair went beyond
friendship, and even beyond the Guide thing, but he hadn't acted
on these feelings. He didn't want to lose Blair, who had seemed
totally hetero--all those women he'd been dating--although now it looked
like he needn't have worried.




Later that evening, Jim sat on the couch in the living room,
waiting for his Guide to come home, wondering how he was going to get
Blair to admit what was going on, when he heard the young man on the
other side of the door. Blair walked in carrying the
smells of the night on him.


He threw his keys in the basket on the table and hung his jacket
up on the hook, and turned around to find his Sentinel blocking
his way. Disconcerted at having the man so close to him, Blair
moved to go into the kitchen, only to have Jim block his way.


"Uh, Jim, look, I want to go get something to eat, man."


"Don't lie to me, Blair. I can smell the pizza on your breath.
Now, come here, I want to talk to you," Jim said, taking Blair's
wrists and gently pulling him over and setting him down on the
couch.


Oh, god, he knows, he's going to kick me out or beat the shit out of
me, Blair thought irrationally.


Jim sat down on the coffee table across from Blair. "Look, Chief, I want
you tell me what the hell is wrong."


Blair avoided his friend's eyes, twisting his fingers together.
"Nothing, man. I don't know what you're talking about."


Hearing the increased heart rate, Jim knew he was lying. "You
should know by now that you can't lie to me, Blair. Please, the
truth."


Blair sighed and said softly, "I can't, Jim, I just can't. You'd
hate me, and kick me out or something..."


"Nothing you could possibly say to me would change how I feel
about you, Chief."


"This would."


Jim sighed, then reached over, placed his hand under Blair's chin and
tilted his face up so they were looking at each other. Oh,
God, I could drown in those blue eyes, he thought. "Blair,
please, I want to know, I need to know. Please, tell me. Trust
me," Jim asked quietly.


"Oh, Jim, I... God, it's just that, well, I, um..." Blair closed
his eyes and felt the tears starting. Here goes my life. "I-I
love you, Jim."


There, it was said. Blair kept his eyes closed, not knowing what
to expect. Then he felt lips pressing softly against his.
Ohmigod, he's kissing me! Blair thought. Then he felt Jim's
tongue against his lips, probing gently, wanting access to his
mouth. Blair opened his mouth, and felt Jim's tongue enter,
tasting, teasing. He felt Jim shudder when he started to return
the kiss, and when Jim pulled him into an embrace, he held on for dear
life.


As Jim broke the kiss, he heard Blair moan deep in his throat,
and smiled. He moved his hands to either side of Blair's face,
stroking his thumbs across the younger man's cheeks, and looked
into those blue eyes, seeing the confusion there, along with the
love. "See, I told you there was nothing you could tell me that
would change how I feel about you."


When Blair didn't say anything, Jim sat down on the couch, turned sideways
and drew him into an embrace so that Blair's back was
against Jim's chest, with Jim's arms around him.


So softly that even Jim almost didn't hear it, Blair asked, "And
how is that?"


"I love you, Chief," he said simply, quietly.


"Oh, Jim, I never thought I'd hear that from you," Blair said as
he turned over to lie on top of the bigger man. Blair kissed Jim, his
tongue finding Jim's, again tasting each other, kissing until they were
both breathless.


As they pulled apart, Jim sucked on Blair's full lower lip, came
back to it, licked and nipped at it, and Jim moaned, feeling his
cock getting harder as he thought about those lips and that mouth sucking
on his cock. He could feel Blair's erection pressing
against his leg as the younger man started a trail of kisses
along his jawline, up to his ear. Jim turned his head to the
side as Blair took the earlobe into his mouth, sucking on it,
then scraping his teeth along it, moving to lick along the edge
of Jim's ear. Jim moaned deep in his throat, bringing his hand up to
cup the back of Blair's head, revelling in the silky feel of
his hair. Then he gently pulled Blair's head back, looking at
that gorgeous face, and said, "Blair, baby, I don't want our
first time to be on the couch. Let's go up to my bed. That's
where I want you."


"Okay, Jim," Blair agreed as he climbed off of Jim. Both men
moaned at the loss of bodily contact. "Be back in a sec, Jim,"
Blair said as he went into his room, searched the shelf, quickly
found what he was looking for and went back out to where Jim was
waiting for him. Jim gave his Guide a questioning look, and Blair held
open his hand, revealing the tube of lubricant. Smiling, Jim grabbed
Blair's hand and led the younger man up the stairs to his bedroom.


Once there, they both quickly undressed. Then, much to Jim's
surprise, Blair pushed him down on the bed and climbed on top of
Jim, sucking on the other man's neck.


"Wanna finish what I started, Jimmy," Blair said as he started to kiss
a path to Jim's nipples.


Jim grabbed Blair's head, pulling it back and looking him in the
eyes. "Don't ever call me Jimmy again. I hate it."


Blair was concerned at the look of anger in Jim's eyes. "I'm
sorry, babe, I didn't know. How about...Jamie? I promise I'll
only use it when we're alone. I need to have a nickname for
you. You've got a bunch for me!"


Jim sighed, but smiled, "Okay, Chief, you can call me Jamie, but
only if we're alone. You use it anywhere else and you'll regret
it." When Blair smiled that sweet smile of his, Jim was glad he'd agreed;
it was such a small thing.


Blair turned his attention back to Jim's nipples, taking one into his
mouth and flicking it with his tongue, while he pinched the
other one between his finger and thumb, then alternated the
attention between the two. He smiled when the older man started
writhing beneath him.


Jim thought he was going to have a coronary just from what Blair
was doing to his nipples, and then when he felt Blair's hand on
his erection, slowly stroking it, Jim was certain he wouldn't
survive this. The sensations coming to him from every direction
were overwhelming. The smell of his partner and his partner's
arousal, the feel of Blair's body against him, the feel of
his mouth on Jim's nipples, his hand on Jim's cock. The little
noises Blair made as he made love to Jim, the sounds of their
heartbeats, accelerated, intertwined.


Jim reached down and stopped Blair's hand as it stroked him, then he
pulled his partner up for another soul-searing kiss. When they finally
stopped, Jim said in a lusty whisper, "I want you inside
me, Blair. Please."


"Are you sure, Jim?"


"Yes, I know what I want and you're it."


Reaching over and grabbing the lube from where he'd thrown it on
the nightstand, Blair spooned up behind Jim, spread some lube on
his fingers, and as he pushed a finger into Jim's anus, he
started kissing his neck and shoulder. Jim was moaning and
pushing against Blair's finger.


"Another one, baby."


Blair complied, pushing two fingers, and then finally three
fingers into Jim's opening, stretching him and getting him ready. Jim
started thrusting back against Blair's hand. "Blair, now,
oh, please, now," he growled.


Removing his fingers, Blair started to gently push his cock into
Jim, when Jim thrust himself back onto it. Blair groaned and bit
Jim's shoulder and started to fuck his lover, with Jim meeting
him thrust for thrust. Blair reached around and started stroking
Jim's erection, making the older man growl with delight. With all the
stimulation he was receiving, it didn't take long for Jim to
come, a long, shuddering climax, and he spurted all over himself
and Blair's hand.


With one last hard push into Jim, Blair came, crying out, as
Jim's ass muscles spasmed on his cock, and then lay still,
putting his arms around Jim. Jim could feel himself being filled
up by the younger man's ejaculate and sighed with contentment.
Jim turned over and Blair moved into his embrace, both men
satiated for the moment.


A few minutes later, Blair looked up at Jim and asked, "Why
today, Jamie?"


"Why today what?"


"Why'd you finally ask me about this? Why'd you do something
about it today?"


"Well, I've known there was something wrong for the last couple
of weeks--I mean, you were leaving the loft so early, and every
time I'd come near you, you'd try to avoid me, and if I
touched you, you reacted like I was burning you with a match or
something. I finally figured it out today. I went in your room,
intending to read your diary. I didn't--I came to my senses
before I could do that, Chief. I'm sorry I even thought about it. Anyway,
you had a CD in the machine; it was on and programmed for just one song,
which I listened to, and everything sorta fell
into place," Jim explained as he stroked Blair's hair.


"Mmmm, I'm glad you did figure it out, 'cause I don't know if I
could've told you or not. But I do love you, Jamie, so much,"
Blair said, a little sleepily.


"I love you, too, Blair. I'm glad we finally told each other.
We've wasted enough time already," Jim said, as he pulled Blair a little
closer, enjoying having his lover with him. Shortly,
they fell asleep and into dreams of one another.


**///the end**