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Really, I love you
by Stacy L.A. Stronach, Dec/97


Blair Sandburg tried to control his breathing, and his fear, but it was
damned difficult when some crazy bastard was holding a knife to your
throat, but Blair thought he was doing a pretty good job of
staying calm.


"Come any closer and I'll kill him. I will," Henry Dressler, a
convicted three time murderer, shouted to the police officers that were
in front of him.


Figuring it wouldn't hurt to try and reason with the guy, after
all, sometimes it did work, Blair spoke. "Hey man, you don't want to
do this. If you give up and let me go, things'll go better for you. If
you hurt me, you'll piss them off, and then, well..."


"Shut up or I'll do you right now," Dressler hissed at him.


Blair was really trying not to freak out, after all the last few
years with Jim, he'd been in worse situations. Of course, he was
hard pressed to come up with one now. He looked out over the cops that
were there, guns poised, ready to fire, Simon was there,
Brown, Rafe, and even Joel. He didn't see his partner, Jim Ellison anywhere
but Blair knew Jim would never desert him. Then Blair felt it, he knew
Jim was close by--probably sneaking up behind Dressler, as stealthily
as the panther that was Jim's spirit guide. Blair
relaxed a little, and tried to keep Dressler distracted, to keep
his attention away from Jim.


"Drop the knife, Dressler, NOW!" Jim yelled, his gun pointed
directly at the back of the man's head.


Dressler froze, his grip on Blair easing up a little bit. Taking
advantage, Blair turned his head and bit Dressler's hand, hard.
Dressler let out a cry of sunrise and pain as he dropped the knife. Quickly
twisting away from the crook's grasp, Blair watched as Jim cuffed the
man, then read him his rights. By this time the other
cops had moved in and Dressler was led away to one of the waiting cop
cars.


Blair stood still, he was finally starting to calm down, the
adrenaline rush was fading.


"Chief, you okay?" Jim asked, placing his hand on Blair's shoulder.


"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks Jim," Blair replied, turning to look at his friend.
"I guess this means I've got some paperwork with my name on it down at
the station, man."


"That's right, so let's go and get it done, okay?" Jim asked as
both men walked toward his truck.


The Loft, around midnight


Sighing, Blair finally gave up on trying to get any sleep. He
quietly climbed out of bed, walked through the living room, opened the
doors and stepped out onto the balcony. It was a warm summer
night, there was an almost full moon, and the cool breeze felt nice against
his body. It always freaked him out a little when he ended up in situations
like today's--but he knew Jim would always be
there for him, be there to save him. Blair sighed again. He had a hard
time these days hiding his feelings for Jim and was afraid
that someday he'd suddenly blurt it out, tell Jim that he loved
him. He couldn't explain it--from the day he'd met Jim there'd been something
there, an undercurrent which both men had formed into a close friendship,
almost like brothers, but lately Blair found
himself wanting more than friendship. Blair knew that was out of
the question, Jim wasn't into guys, and Blair himself had almost no experience.
It was hopeless, he knew that, yet it didn't stop his yearning for his
best friend.


Jim stood in the doorway, watching the beautiful young man on his balcony,
wearing just his boxer shorts and tank top. He had to
smile, for someone so free and wild in other areas of his life,
Blair was quite modest. He'd woken when Blair had climbed out of
bed, and Jim was worried that Blair was having problems because of what
had happened with Dressler. He knew Blair was a strong,
capable man, but being held hostage wasn't an easy experience for anyone,
and Jim always worried about Blair. Hearing the younger man sigh, Jim
wondered what his friend was thinking about, he hoped it wasn't about
today, but figured there was a good chance there was. Jim stepped onto
the balcony, clearing his throat, not wanting to scare Blair to badly.


Blair started and turned around, "Man, Jim, you scared me, I wish you
wouldn't sneak up on me like that," he said.


"Why do you think I cleared my throat? I didn't want you scaring
yourself over the edge there, Chief," Jim replied, teasing Blair. "You
did a really good job today, you know?"


"Thanks, Jim."


"I just wish you wouldn't get yourself into trouble like that
Blair, I worry about you," Jim said, and before he knew what was
happening, his hand was cupping Blair's face.


Neither man said anything, they just stood still, staring at each other.
There was enough light from the moon that Blair could see
the emotions in Jim's eyes, and on his face--fear, apprehension,
and love? Blair smiled a little and, in the barest of whispers,
said, "Yes."


Hearing it, Jim leaned down, and hoping he'd understood what Blair meant,
brushed a kiss across those luscious lips. He received the slightest
taste of Blair, and liking it, returned for more,
claiming Blair's mouth in hard, hot kiss, and putting his arms
around Blair's waist, pulled the younger man as close as possible. He
felt Blair's arms wrap around his neck, and the younger man's
mouth open and they both moaned as their tongues met, playing,
tasting each other. Finally, needing some air, they separated, and Jim
didn't think he'd ever been this happy. "Blair, I...will
you...do you want to, um, come upstairs with me?"


Blair smiled, loving this man even more, "It's about time you asked me--yes,
I'd love to Jim," he answered, before capturing Jim's
mouth for another kiss.


The next morning, Jim watched Blair as he slept wrapped in Jim's
arms. He'd gathered Blair to him when he woke, to prove to himself that
this wasn't just some dream, that what had happened last night had really
happened.


Blair stirred, then woke up, smiling when he realized exactly where he
was. He kissed Jim, "Mmm, good morning, lover," he murmured,
snuggling closer to the heat of Jim's body.


"Morning yourself, Blair," Jim said, then, placing his fingers
under Blair's chin, tilted his head up so they were looking eye to eye.
"Blair, last night just wasn't about sex for me. I really do love you,"
Jim said quietly.


Smiling again, Blair stroked the side of Jim's face, "I know that, Jim.
And I love you, too," he answered, kissing his lover gently.


End Really, I love you