Dedication:    For ~Day who said,  "I wish someone would write a missing scene for Reunion."

Special Thanks:   Goes out to patl for betaing this story.

The gray overcast day seemed a perfect accompaniment to the grief overshadowing his heart. Positioning one crutch underneath his left arm, Simon carefully grasped the bouquet by its gathered stems and maneuvering the other crutch beneath his right arm, began the slow, painful journey to the grave site. The pain he felt stemmed not from the gun shot wound to his right thigh, but instead centered around the region of his heart.

His gaze never leaving the freshly turned mound of dirt, Simon moved closer. The grave, draped with baskets of decaying flowers, paid testament to the sheer volume of people who had been present at the simple grave side service. A service that Simon had been unable to attend. Once again he had failed Peggy. The dead flowers were a poignant reminder of his failure both then and now. Slowly he approached the site, pausing at its base and head bowed, offered up an apologyto the one woman that had long ago captured his heart.

Sadness taming his normally exuberant features, Blair Sandburg watched with a heavy heart as Simon stood in silent vigil by the grave site of his former childhood sweetheart. Wordlessly heglanced up at his normally stoic partner, glimpsing just for an instant in the usually expressionless blue eyes, visions of ghosts never laid to rest.

As if sensing his scrutiny Ellison looked down, meeting the concerned, questioning gaze of his guide. A smile tinged with sadness played at Jim’s lips. The haunted look never quite leaving his  eyes, he reached out giving Blair’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. A frown flickered across the younger man’s brow only to be met with a slight shake of Jim’s head. How like the older man to deny his own demons, push them aside to offer comfort and reassurance to others.

Beside him Jim felt the barely restrained compassion radiating from his roommate. So great was his innate humanitarian nature, that Blair fairly vibrated from its all encompassing energy.

Incapable of disguising his emotions, Jim saw Sandburg’s questioning glance, the look of concern. Unwilling to burden Blair with his emotional baggage, Jim gave the smaller man's shoulder a gentle squeeze, hoping to convey with that motion what he could not express with words. Unwilling to let the unspoken issue drop, Blair’s penetrating gaze refused to be so easily dismissed. With a shake of his head, Jim directed Blair's attention toward the tall black man standing alone in his grief, and gave him a gentle shove when the smaller man hesitated.
Blair paused, glancing back over his shoulder. Seeing the determination in his guide’s eyes, Ellison grimaced, realizing that this was but a brief reprieve. Certain his message had been received and understood, Blair gave a quick nod and headed towards Simon.
Lost in his sorrow and self recriminations of ‘If only I...’  it was several minutes before Simon registered the presence of the man standing beside him. It was unusual for the normally hyperactive grad student to be so quiet and restrained. He sensed a hesitancy in the smaller man as if uncertain of his welcome.

“She was the first girl I ever loved.” The words, softly spoken expressed a multitude of pain and  regrets. “She was so beautiful back then. President of the Honor Society, Captain of the cheerleading squad, Homecoming Queen. She had it all. Could of had anyone she wanted and yet...” The voice trailed off, lost in memories.

“She wanted you.”

A small smile played at Simon’s lips. “Yeah, she wanted me.”

“So, what happened?” Came the softly spoken inquiry.

Raising his head, Simon looked off into the distance. Blair sensed that the older man's gaze was not centered on the horizon, but on a time far removed from this place. Patiently he waited for Simon to speak.

“It was different back then,” he began, “not that things have changed all that much.”

Blair could hear a tinge of bitterness in the words.

“It was a small town and interracial relationships were....” he searched for a euphemism befitting of the times, “...frowned upon.”

Blair shook his head in disgust. The whole issue of race, class or gender discrimination had always been abhorrent to him. Why couldn’t people just be accepted for the kind of person they were on the inside?

“For a time we tried to fight it. We were young and in love. Determined that nothing and no one was going to come between us.” Simon chuckled, the sound lacking humor. “But eventually the pressre from her parents, and mine.... No,” he admonished, “that’s not entirely fair. “ He sighed. “I couldn’t wait to get out of this town. Away from a two bit job that didn’t even pay minimum wage.” Simon shook his head at the memory. “God, the things I use to have to put up with. The asses I had to kiss hoping it would result in a better tip” He raised a glaring eyebrow, as if daring Sandburg to comment.  “I’m talking figuratively here, not literally.”

The corners of Blair’s mouth turned upwards in an answering smile.

Simon’s gaze returned to the grave. “I knew there wasn’t a future for me here. And Peggy, Peggy deserved so much more than some underpaid, glorified bellhop.”

Several seconds passed in silence.  “So what happened,” Blair gently prompted.

“Peggy’s parents had arranged for her to go to a prestigious college upstate.” Simon  snorted. “It was just another one of their attempts to break us up. But I knew, deep down inside, that she really wanted to go. So we agreed, she would go to college and I would venture out in pursuit of my dreams.” The last part was said with a sense of mockery.

A look of sadness crossed Simon’s features. “At first we wrote each other almost every day, but then as time wore on, the letters came further and further apart, until, finally, they stopped coming altogether. I guess,” he said with a sigh, “that like our letters, we simply grew further and further apart.”

“Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be,” Blair suggested softly.

“Maybe,” Simon remotely responded.

Blair heard the questioning note. “What is it?” He asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

“I can’t help but wonder why, after all this time, we were brought back together, just to have it end like this.” Simon replied with a nod towards the grave. “What, no sage pearls of wisdom?” Banks asked sardonically as no reply was immediately forthcoming. There was no way he could miss the fleeting look of hurt that crossed the younger man's features. Damn it! “Sandburg....Blair,” he quickly amended, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Blair replied with an indifferent shrug, unable to meet the captain’s gaze.

“No, it’s not all right.” Banks quickly corrected. “Just because I’m screwed up doesn’t give me the right to take it out on you.”

Hearing the sincerity, Blair abandoned his intense perusal of the ground and looked up at Simon, a small smile of appreciation wiping away the former traces of injury. “You’re hurting, I understand that,” he said, laying a comforting hand on the older man's arm. “I just wish I did have some words of wisdom to impart. But the truth of the matter is, that sometimes things just happen.”

“I guess,” Simon replied with a resigned sigh, “I just wish...”

“Hey, don’t even go there man.” Blair gently admonished, knowing where this was leading. “You had no way of knowing the phone call was a ruse. At that point you didn’t even know how dangerous the situation was.” Blair’s tone grew serious as he pinned the older man with an intense blue stare. “You may not have been able to help Peggy, but both Dave Becker and Art Sturges are going to go down for what they did. Not only that, but the EPA has reopened their investigation into the runoff generated by  Canyon Lake Paper. Peggy didn’t die in vain, Simon, thanks to her the town's population now knows the truth.” His gaze traveled to the granite headstone. “Her efforts saved this generation from continuing corruption and future generations from birth defects.  She was quite a lady,” he finished with clear admiration.

Clearing his throat of suppressed emotions, Banks requested , “Ah... Sandburg, could you give me a minute?”

“Sure Simon,”  the smaller man quickly agreed and with a final comforting pat to the older man's arm, Blair headed back towards the truck.
“Sandburg’s right you know, you are... were quite a lady and it was a distinct privilege and honor knowing you.” Shifting his weight onto the uninjured leg, Simon leaned forward and reverently placed the bouquet of flowers atop the headstone.

Blair leaned against the side of the truck, his face screwed up in consternation as he watched Simon, from afar, saying his final goodbyes to his first and maybe only true love. At a gentle tug on his long locks, Blair turned to find Jim looking down at him. “He’ll be all right.” Ellison assured him.

“You think so?” Sandburg cast a worried look back at the man in question.

Jim followed his guide’s gaze. “He just needs a little time.”

“I wish I could help,” Blair softly replied.

“You all ready have Chief. You all ready have.”

Jim slipped a comforting arm around the younger man's shoulder as they prepared to wait, each silently promising to be there for their friend.