Mistakes 1 by Surreal Feedback keeps me writing: surreal666@hotmail.com Rating: NC/17 for violence, disturbing imagery Category: L/B slash Disclaimer: I made up only this story, not the characters involved. At least, not John or Ringo. Summery: Langly makes a mistake. **************** "Hey, you look pretty upset." I turn to my left, to the source of the voice. My mind isn't working at peak efficiency at the moment. Must be because I'm on my fourth beer in the last hour. God, I hate John. "Yeah, I am." I try not to sound too defensive, but I'm also not used to talking to strangers. Especially at one a.m. Especially in this part of town. And *especially* not in a gay bar. I don't even know why I came here. I know what happens in these places, and even though I'm really pissed at John right now, I don't know if I should be here. Not like this. But...my mind isn't working well. This guy isn't bad looking; dark hair, just a hint of red in the light that reminds me of John and I feel something tighten in my stomach. He's a bit taller than me, I think, but I can't really tell from my stool at the bar. He's built, too. Much stronger than either me or John. Shit. I've got to stop thinking about John. I hate him, remember? "Do you want to get out of here? Go some place quiet and talk about it?" His voice is soft, more gentle than I would have expected from someone as big as him. Why did I come here? I knew something like this would happen. Do I really want it to? He sees my hesitation, my reluctance to talk to a stranger. He puts his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. Then it moves up, brushing my hair back a bit. He absently strokes it, smiling a little. "You have beautiful hair..." he informs me. No shit. So, I follow him out. He takes me to a small motel a few blocks away. It's a small, cozy room; warm, dim light. I know what's going to happen. But I don't do anything to stop it. Maybe I want this to happen, maybe I need this release tonight. I turn to face him, and he smiles. He takes my hand, leading me to the bed where he gently pushes me down onto it. I look up at him, pull him down with me. I don't want to talk. This is my choice. I let myself be picked up at a bar, and I'm going to go through with it. No hesitation anymore. I kiss him, not hard but with a desperation I don't think he was expecting. His hands move up my body, gripping me and pushing me down. He tugs my shirt over my head, and I take his shirt off. He has such a great body. I can't believe I'm doing this. God...what would John think? I can't let him find out... Fuck John. This is for me. He pushes me down, onto my back and fumbles with my jeans, pulling my clothes off and now I'm in nothing but my socks. I let him push me down, onto my back and he leans over me, covering my body and kissing me. It feels strange, to let someone have so much control, and to be completely submissive for once. John's never like this... He sits back, sliding out of his jeans and I see he's more than ready for action. I sit up, capturing his mouth as I reach down, take his hard cock in my hand and stroke him, trying to match his intensity. "Fuck--you are so hot..." he moans, thrusting into my hand. "What do you want from me?" This is where my coherant thoughts shut down and instincts take over. "Fuck me, please..." Oh, yeah, I sound *real* intelligent. What the hell am I doing? "God, yes...I knew you were a sub from the minute I saw you..." What does he mean by *that*? No time to process that, his hands suddenly grasp my arms and he pins me down, his fingers cutting off the circulation in my arms. Oh, god, this is not good anymore...was it ever? He's hurting me... shit, he brings his leg up, his knee pressing into my stomach and keeping me from moving... SHIT Oh, fuck...he's holding me down, kissing me so hard, it hurts my lips, and I try to push him away but he's so much stronger than me. "Wait...please, don't..." "SHUT UP," he growls, slapping my face with his hand. I don't know what to do...fuck, I knew I shouldn't have done this... He tugs at me, forcing me to roll over, onto my stomach. There's nothing I can do, he's in control and if I try to fight I'm afraid of what he'll do to me... "Please stop...you're hurting me--" His hand pushes on the back of my head, cutting my words off with the pillow. "Don't talk, you little bitch...you're all the same, you like it rough." He takes my hands, pulls my arms over my head and holds my wrists together. From somewhere he gets a length of rope or something and ties my hands together, around the bar in the headboard and I'm trapped, breathing hard and trying to get out of these binds. I feel him shift behind me, kneeling between my legs. He comes down hard on top of me, biting and kissing the back of my neck, my shoulders and I have to bite my lip hard to keep from crying out. He moves up again, on his knees between my legs but I can't see anything but the pillow under my face, realize my glasses must have fallen off in my earlier struggles. Some kind of hissing sound, and I feel his hand press against my back hard for a moment then OHH GOD No...please!! I want to scream but I can't breath. He hits me again, his leather belt stinging my back with furious lashes and I've never felt so helpless and stupid in my life. I want to leave, I need to get out of here but he keeps hitting me, it hurts so much and I just want to go home and hug John and tell him how much I love him if I could just get out of this. He finally stops hitting me and I know there are welts on my upper back and every time I turn my head I feel my hair sweeping across them and it stings almost as much as the belt did. He comes down hard on me again, his body pressing against mine and knocking the air out of my lungs. He hisses, whispers in my ear and I feel him, feel his cock rubbing against my thigh, my ass and I'm so afraid of him, scared of what he's going to do to me. He shifts his weight up and I feel him press his cock into me without warning, without anything to protect either of us and my mind goes blank, this hot, intense flash of unbelievable pain as he thrusts into me savagely, wantonly. It hurts so much...he's grunting with the effort, tearing me from the inside and when he comes it stings, the semen mixing with the open, raw wounds and blood and I think I must have passed out for a few moments. When I finally regain my senses, I raise my head, wincing in pain as my entire body protests. My hands are no longer tied, and he's gone. It takes all my energy, everything I can find to crawl off the bed, onto the floor on my hands and knees until I find my clothes, put my glasses on. I'm shaking so hard. I put my clothes back on. It takes me almost fifteen minutes, the painful welts on my back stinging with every movement and I know I'm bleeding from his brutal penetration. As I leave I see something on the table next to the bed. A small wad of bills, payment for using me. Son of a bitch. I turn away, stumble to the door, blinded by tears of pain and rage at my own stupidity. I walk back to the bar and past it, feeling like I'm going to throw up. I have to go home. I need John. But I can't go to him. Not like this. *************** End part 1.