FINDING PEACE Sequel to "Finding Comfort" and "Finding Courage" by Surreal and Alison (our first co-production) Feedback: oooh yes, writers' egos need stroking email: Surreal666@hotmail.com xalison@hotmail.com Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Langly/Byers Summary: Byers finally learns the truth Disclaimer: They're not ours; just as well, we couldn't share Archive: Unusual Suspects, Basement, Ephemeral, Gossamer: anywhere else just ask 3PM LG HQ The phone rings shrilly in the Lone Gunmen's headquarters, making all three of them jump although they have been expecting this call, trying unsuccessfully to concentrate on work in increasing tension since early in the morning. Byers bites his lip, reaches out and picks up the phone. Langly rises to his feet and comes round the table, and Byers reaches out and takes his hand as he listens intently. Langly's heart is pounding, he searches his lover's face for a clue. Byers takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a second, then opens them as an incredible smile lights up his face. "Thank you, doctor . . . you've been fantastic. Yes . . . yes . . . thank you for everything. Goodbye." He drops the phone and stares at Langly for a second, breathless. "Negative." Langly's legs are weak with relief, he stumbles forward and pulls his lover into his arms. They hug each other tight, too overcome to speak. Frohike is the one who expresses his relief with a quiet "Thank God" and comes forward to slap them both on the back. But he might as well be invisible, and he pulls back with a rueful smile and leaves them alone. Byers drops to the couch and buries his face in his hands for a moment, while Langly puts his arm round his shoulder. They sit for a while in silence, each trying to take in the news and giving silent thanks, too relieved to speak, and words seem unnecessary anyway. After that work is impossible, but a conventional celebration seems out of place as well, so they sit for a while quietly talking, and Frohike joins them with some beers. And after a while he makes a transparent excuse about returning a videotape he borrowed from Mulder, and slips away quietly. Langly feels somehow that it is important that this should be just a normal evening, unwilling to put any pressure on Byers. So after an evening like many others, of takeouts and beers and cheesy old movies on the TV, they end up on the couch as so often in the past, Langly sprawled at one end and Byers lying full length with his head in Langly's lap. Langly's arm is lying loosely across Byers' chest, and after a while Byers places his hand over Langly's and reaches up with the other to play with his lover's hair. Langly sighs with contentment and strokes his lover's arm, and they both pretend to watch the TV until nearly midnight. Then routine takes over as they clear up for the night and head for bed. Arms round each other, they wander down the corridor to Byers' door. Langly leans forward and kisses his lover, a gentle undemanding kiss on the lips; Byers kisses back, opening his mouth tentatively, and their tongues meet, caressing, exploring. Langly is still hesitant, desperate not to do anything to wreck Byers' new-found fragile confidence and their renewed intimacy. He feels like a kid on his first date, unsure what to do next. At last he draws back and kisses Byers chastely on the forehead. "Well then, I'll let you get some rest. Do you want first shower?" Byers shakes his head. "You go first, I've got a couple of things to do first." Langly kisses him briefly once more on the cheek. "Good night then." Byers nods and disappears into his room. Langly looks at the firmly shut door for a moment with regret, then heads for the shower. Peeling off his clothes while the water is warming up, he steps in and luxuriates under the soothing spray, and is taken by surprise by the click of the shower door. He is utterly stunned by what he sees as he turns, Byers stepping into the shower with him with a shy smile. Langly can only stand and gape as Byers puts his hands on his shoulders. "Is this okay, Ree?" Langly puts out his hands slowly, and draws his lover close. They stand together under the warm spray, arms round each other, heads resting on each other's shoulders, reveling in the joy of being together after so long. Langly makes no move to initiate any further intimacy, still feeling that the initiative must belong to his lover. Eventually Byers raises his head, blinking the water out of his eyes, and tightens his grip on Langly's shoulders. "Come on. Let's get to bed." "Sweetheart, are you sure?" He has been longing for this moment for so long, yet almost dreading it as well; fearing the possibility that he might hurt his lover, or that they might be doing this too soon, before Byers is ready. Byers smiles lovingly back at him. "Yes. It's time." Stepping out of the shower, Langly fetches towels and hands one to Byers, but the older man pushes it back into his hands. "You can dry me." Langly feels mingled excitement and apprehension ripple through him, as he takes the towel. This was one of their favorite nighttime rituals, often exciting them both to such an extent that they made love right there in the bathroom. But he knows that it will be very different tonight, and that he must use all his restraint and control. He begins to draw the towel softly across Byers' shoulders and the top of his back, patting gently over the tender, still painful half-healed scars. He leans forward on impulse and touches his lips to the worst of them. Straightening up he sees Byers looking at him in the mirror and is overcome by a sense of deja-vu, remembering the day after the attack; only this time Byers is smiling at him with such love, Langly suddenly feels as if a fist is squeezing his heart. Resolutely dragging his eyes away, Langly forces himself to concentrate on the task in hand, rubbing gently down Byers back, turning him round to draw the towel over his chest and shoulders, while all the time Byers stands quietly, never taking his eyes from Langly's face. When he is done, Byers takes a fresh towel off the rail and returns the favor. When he gets to Langly's stomach, he runs his hand down to his lover's cock and gently strokes it with the backs of his fingers , before looking up at Langly again. The shy, hesitant look is back in his face, and Langly wills himself not to become aroused. He takes the towel from Byers and wraps it round his own hips. "What do you want to do now, baby?" Byers takes a deep breath, smiling shyly. "Well, I was thinking . . . the last time we were like this, I asked you to go away, to let me sleep alone. So now . . . will you come back? Please?" It's that last "Please?" which breaks Langly's composure, and he pulls Byers close with a sob. They stand together, both near to tears, holding each other close with relief and joy. It is Byers, in the end, who pulls away and takes Langly by the hand to lead him to the bedroom. Byers leans down to pull back the covers, smiling to himself when he feels the gentle hand sliding over his bare back. He stands, facing Langly and kisses him gently, uncertainly. The younger man feels the hesitation in the other man's movement. He puts his hands on Byers' waist, lightly caressing up his sides before wrapping around and pulling him a little closer. He feels a bit apprehensive himself, but when he feels Byers return the embrace, unhooking the loose tuck of the towel around the younger man's hips and letting it fall to the floor he realizes this is really happening. Letting his lips move down the older man's throat, he kisses him gently. Pulling the towel off Byers' hips, he brings his hand up to press slightly against his lover's chest while his other arm remains draped around his waist. Byers follows his urging, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Reaching out with a trembling hand, Byers brings the other man down onto the bed with him, Langly crawling around to the other side closer to the wall. They slide into bed together, both naked, and lie for a while not touching. Langly lies on his side, head propped up on one fist looking down at Byers. Byers, looking back at him, absently running his fingers up Langly's arm. Byers leans forward to kiss him cautiously. Langly kisses him back, carefully. Byers reaches up with one hand. lacing his fingers through the hair draped over Langly's shoulder and chest. Langly reaches up to stroke Byers' cheek gently, letting his hand run down the other man's neck and down his chest lightly. He feels Byers shudder and sees him close his eyes. Langly stops, pulling back. "John...it's okay, we don't have to do this so soon..." "No," Byers says firmly, opening his eyes. "I want to; I want *you*." He leans forward and kisses his lover on the lips fiercely. Breaking away, he lays back and stares up at the ceiling, his face thoughtful. Langly puts his hand on the older man's chest, absently rubbing over the familiar contours he'd missed so much. "What is it?" he asks the unmoving form. Byers tightens his lips in thoughtful concentration. "Nothing... just trying to remember how we do this..." he responds seriously. It takes Langly a moment to realize that Byers is just kidding, and he laughs out loud, burying his face next to the older man's neck. Byers chuckles, turning his head to kiss the tangled mass of blonde hair. Langly finally raises his head, grinning. "It hasn't been *that* long, sweetie." Byers sighs. "I know. It's just..." He hesitates, rolling onto his side to face Langly. He pulls one leg up, between Langly's legs and slides his knee up and down over the younger man's inner thigh, grazing his cock just a bit with each slow stroke. "I didn't realize how much I missed this." "Sex?" Langly asks absently, aware of his body's response to the light touch of the other man's leg on his cock. The older man laughs, slapping him playfully on the arm. "No . . Well, yeah, but more than that. I missed *this*; you, just being so close, having you here with me." Langly reaches out, stroking Byers' cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I did too," he tells him softly. Byers meets his eyes and feels his breath catch in his throat. He can't believe he is so lucky to have someone who cared for him so deeply, who would be here with him and willing to do anything he asked after all he'd done to the younger man. He closed his eyes against the threatening sting and presses his body as close as he can to his lover's, his arm wrapping tightly around his back and his face against the firm chest he found so familiar. His hand moves over Langly's back, his confidence and determination growing as he finds comfort in the simple embrace. After a while he finds he is breathing harder, kissing the smooth skin with increased urgency. He raises his head up to capture Langly's mouth, letting his hand slide down to grasp the other man's ass and pull their hips together, grinding against the already hard cock and making his own stiffen at the pressure. Leaning over the younger man, he kisses down his shoulders and across his chest, grazing his teeth across the firm flesh. The sensation brings back a buried memory, and he stops, tensing briefly and trembling. Langly feels the change and immediately pulls back, looking at him with concern. "Are you okay, baby?" Byers determinedly pushes the memory away, refusing to let it haunt him any more. "Yes, I'm fine . . . let's take it slow, okay?" He rolls onto his back, reaching behind him to dig in the drawer. He finds the tube of lube and a condom, tossing them between them. Langly watches him patiently, not making a move. Byers turns back to him, absently fidgeting with the tube in his hand, studying it. "You sure?" Langly asks him gently. The older man smiles a little. He pulls himself to his knees and puts a fair amount of the gel onto his fingers before dropping the tube again. He closes his eyes, fully aware that Langly is watching his every move with a concerned and interested eye. He reaches back, running his fingers over his own entrance for a moment carefully. He forces himself to relax and finally pushes one finger into himself. He gasps involuntarily at the momentary shock and feels Langly's hand on his leg, soothingly rubbing his skin. He swallows hard, struggling to control his breathing. After a moment he feels calmer and pushes a second finger into himself. A brief flash of pain and he stops, biting his lip in a failed attempt to hold back the whimper. "John...please don't do this if you're hurting yourself." Byers shakes his head minutely. "I'm fine." He takes another moment to prepare himself before pulling his hand back in front of him. He leans in to capture Langly's mouth in a warm kiss as he runs his hands down his lover's body, finding the other man equally tense and even more aroused than himself. He pulls back with a smile as he wraps his fingers around Langly's hard cock and strokes him slowly. Langly groans and his eyes slip shut, laying back against the pillows. "Ohh...god, John..." "You ready?" Byers whispers close to his ear. "Jesus...yeah," Langly chokes, then looks up at the older man. "What about you?" A little sucking kiss on the throat and Langly gets his answer. He starts to move but Byers puts a hand on his chest, holding him down. "Please...let me," he rasps. With a practiced ease he unwraps the condom and puts it on the other man securely. He puts more slick onto his hand and caresses Langly's cock with it, making the younger man moan and thrust instinctively into his hand. Byers shifts, bringing his legs up and swinging his right leg over Langly's body then pulling himself up to straddle his abdomen. He smiles despite his apprehension and bends down to kiss Langly, who watches curiously. Byers reaches back behind him to grasp Langly's cock as he slides back, slowly taking it into him. He gasps again at the contact but forces his body to relax and open up. He pushes back a little and brings both his hands up to grasp Langly's shoulders. "Oh...fuck...Ree," his voice shakes, muffled against the other man's chest. "Shit...John, please...if this hurts, please stop," Langly pleads, keeping his body still and letting Byers be in control. He puts his arms around Byers and holds him tight, rubbing his back gently. Byers' only movement is his hands squeezing the other man's shoulders rhythmically. "No...it's okay." "You're so tight...it's been a long time, take it slow." "Yeah...I know." He stays still, just concentrating on his breathing and laying flat, chest to chest, with the younger man. He finally raises his head, kissing Langly briefly before pushing back and taking the hard cock deeper into him determinedly. The sharp flash of pain makes him wince and drop his head but he refuses to give up. He starts to rock gently, his movement cautious as he slowly gets used to the sensations again, the fullness of the other man hard inside him. Langly reaches between them and smoothly strokes Byers' trapped cock laying hard against his belly. The older man moans at the contact, his movement growing more intense. He grabs Langly's free hand and holds it tight at his side against the bed and brings his other hand up to lace into the tangled mane of fine blond hair falling all around the pillow. He lifts his head and strokes Langly's cheek as he moves faster, his need becoming more urgent. "Ohh, man...John..." Langly moans softly, thrusting back up to move with Byers. "God...please, Ree...harder..." Byers grunts, pushing the tempo up. "You...sure?" "Fuck...yeah. Please, I need...I need this so much," he begs. Langly tightens his grip on the other man and thrusts harder, doing his best to hear past the agonized cries erupting from his lover as he pushes deeper into him, faster. He trusts that Byers knows what he's doing and won't intentionally take it too far. After only a few moments he feels his orgasm approaching but desperately holds back, waiting for Byers to tell him when. Byers rocks frantically, his body trembling as he feels his climax rapidly trying to overtake him. He leans in next to Langly's ear to whisper, "You close, baby?" "Christ...yeah," Langly gasps, turning his head to kiss the older man's throat. He thrusts up and whispers back, "Come for me, Johnny." "Oh, god...Ree, I love you so much," Byers chokes out just before he feels his orgasm hit him. With a harsh cry his whole body tenses, all his senses turn inward to the flash of electric energy that courses through him. Langly feels Byers tighten around him in an almost painful grip and he manages to hold back his orgasm until the tension is released and he can thrust once more before letting go. His hand grips Byers' ass as he comes hard with a choked sob of his own. Byers' body lays limp on him, not moving save for the steady, rapid rise and fall of his breathing. Langly struggles to catch his own breath as he rubs Byers' back, giving the other man a moment to collect himself. "Sweetie, you gotta move now," Langly tells him reluctantly, aware that he needs to clean them both up. He feels Byers nod against his chest slightly before reaching down to carefully pull himself off of Langly. The younger man quickly disposes of the condom and picks up one of the damp towels left on the floor from their shower earlier. He wipes them both up, smiling to himself as he takes care of the prone form of Byers laying next to him. The older man is barely awake. Langly lays there watching Byers drift into sated sleep. He reaches up and absently strokes the sweat-dampened hair that was stuck to the other man's forehead, his fingers running down the length of his cheek. He doesn't allow himself to dwell on the light red scar still visible on the right cheekbone. Finally, Byers opens his eyes again and sees Langly looking down at him. He smiles and sighs softly. Langly leans down and kisses him gently. "I love you too, John," he whispers as he pulls back. Byers raises a weak hand and tucks an unruly strand of hair behind Langly's ear. "Thank you, Ringo," he mumbles. The younger man scoots closer and lays his head against Byers' chest, his hand on the other man's abdomen. After a second he reaches down to pull the covers up over them and sighs softly. "You're going to be sore in the morning, you know." Byers rubs his hand over Langly's back with the last of his lingering energy. "I know...but you're worth it," he murmurs sleepily, his words drifting off as he falls asleep. Langly just smiles contentedly and follows suit, just glad to be back in this comfortable embrace. His last conscious thought is a vow that no matter what it costs him, he will make sure that nothing ever hurts his lover as much again. END Surreal666@hotmail.com xalison@hotmail.com