..oOOo..


3:07 pm Saturday
One week later


"I *can* walk," Langly told Byers testily.

Byers sighed, not letting go of his firm hold on the younger 
man’s arm as he slid off the bed and unsteadily to his feet.
"I know you can.  Just humor us, please?  Hospital policy-
everyone leaves in a wheelchair, you know that."

Langly responded with an annoyed grunt, but allowed 
himself to be settled into the waiting chair.  "Fine, can we
just go now?"

Exchanging a look of exasperation with the nurse, Byers
stood behind the younger man, giving his shoulders a
brief squeeze before gripping the handles and wheeling
Langly out of the room, and finally, out of the hospital.

Squinting at his first exposure to the bright light of day
in almost two weeks, Langly saw that Byers had
parked the van close to the exit, in the pick-up area.
He was silently grateful; the thought of being stuck in
the chair for much longer grating his nerves.  

He just wanted to get home.  Away from the IVs, and 
the constant presence of doctors and nurses.  He still
felt weak, sick from the drugs and shaky, despite
being allowed out of bed to walk around a few days 
before.  

After his brief, unpleasant exchange with Byers a
week before, he had seen less of the older man.  It wasn’t
that Byers didn’t visit him;  he just had not spent as much 
time with Langly as he had the first few days of his recovery.
Langly didn’t mind;  he preferred to be alone recently.  It 
gave him time to think, to analyze himself and his relationship
with Byers.  Byers himself had become more distant, taking
on his polite, unemotional mask around his lover.  They had
little to talk about, neither wanting to talk about what had
happened.

Langly knew it wouldn’t last long, though.  He had already
had one visit by the councilor that Byers had insisted they
work with, and he knew they had weekly appointments 
with the man.  Langly just did not want to talk to anyone
about what he had been through.

"Ree?  You need help standing up?"  Byers’ concerned
voice broke his reverie.  

Langly looked up, seeing that they were stopped in front 
of the open door of the van.  "Oh...no, I’m okay," he
said quickly, pushing himself to his feet.  Despite his
words, he struggled to stay standing.  His legs were
weak, both from having gone so long without walking
regularly, and the slight numbness that continued to
bother him from the surgery near his spinal cord.  He
knew it was temporary, but it still worried him.  

Byers held his arm anyway as Langly slowly crawled
into the passenger seat.  The younger man sat back,
resting his head against the seat and closed his eyes,
as if the effort had drained him.  Byers suspected that
it may have, more so than his lover would admit to.
Without a word, he reached in and fastened the seatbelt
around the weary blonde.

"Thanks,"  Langly mumbled.  

The older man patted his arm gently.  "No problem."

Byers backed away and closed the door, then turned
to give the assisting nurse a grateful smile.  "Thank you
for all your help," he told her, and she returned his 
smile with her own shy one.  

Climbing in behind the wheel, Byers shot a brief glance at 
Langly, checking on him as he started the van.  Langly 
was exactly as he had left him, still and silent, his eyes 
closed as if to block out the world.  The older man had 
noticed the gradual change in his lover in the past week,
and it worried him.  Langly had become too quiet, too
withdrawn for Byers’ liking.  The endless energy and 
constant chatter was a part of his lover that he relied on,
a part that he loved with all of Langly’s other habits and
quirks.  

Without that, Langly was a ghost of himself, a hollowed 
shell that looked like him, that occasionally gave up that
crooked smile in his better moods.  Those moments were
too rare, however.  Byers wanted his lover back the way
he had been, the way he was before the whole thing started.

He wanted Ringo back.  

As he turned back to look out the windshield, his hand 
turning the key in the ignition, he sighed inwardly.  He 
just did not know what to do.  He still felt in some ways
responsible for what happened to the younger man;  hell,
it was *his* fault!  He had impregnated him;  at least half
of the blame was his.  

Until he could get Langly to talk about it with him, to open
up during their counseling or now at home, he felt helpless.
He had hope now, however.  He was taking his lover home,
where they would both feel safe and comfortable.  Byers
hoped the change in atmosphere would help bring Langly 
around.


..oOOo..


Turning the engine off, Byers sighed quietly and looked over
at his passenger.  An affectionate smile broke the surface 
when he heard the soft, low snore coming from Langly.  
Unlatching his seatbelt, he reached across and gently shook
the younger man’s shoulder to wake him.  "Hey, Ree...
come on, we’re home."

It took another two shakes, and a louder voice but eventually
Langly raised his head enough to blink wearily, then glanced
in Byers’ direction.  "Hmmm?"  he grunted quietly, finally 
getting his bearings.  "Oh...right."  He shifted, a sharp gasp
escaping when he pulled at his back.  

"Hang on, let me give you a hand,"  Byers stilled him with
a firm palm against the younger man’s chest and reached down
to release the belt.  Langly gave him a small, grateful smile of 
silent thanks and reached for the handle to his door.  By the
time he’d gotten it open, Byers was already on the other side,
ready to help him.  It made Langly feel strange, a frustrating
mixture of gratitude and annoyance for having to rely on the
older man so much.  He knew he couldn’t manage by himself,
but would rather fall flat on his face than admit to it.  

Still, he did not say a word as Byers helped him to his feet and
walked him slowly to their basement home.  Langly was doing
fine on his own, but Byers still kept a hand on his arm, if only
for the simple need for contact.  

Frohike opened the door with a huge grin, stepping back to let
them both inside and closing the door before reaching for his
young friend and pulling him into his arms carefully.  "Hey, 
buddy.  Good to have you home," he managed awkwardly,
not really knowing what to say.  

Langly squeezed him back, closing his eyes for a moment at 
the sudden rush of realization that he was finally home. 
"Thanks, Mel,"  he replied in a hoarse whisper as he pulled
away.  

Byers stepped up go take his arm again.  "Come on, let’s get
you settled in bed, okay?"  As much as he wanted to spent 
as much time with his lover as possible, to hold him and 
reassure himself of the other man’s presence, Byers knew
the younger man was still under strict doctor’s orders to 
stay off his feet.  He could see that the long car ride home
had taken its toll as Langly was practically swaying.  

Nodding, Langly leaned on the older man as he was led to
his bedroom.  Byers sat him down on the edge of the bed,
kneeling down to remove his shoes.  Langly scooted back,
tucking his legs under the covers and leaning back against
the headboard with a sigh.  

"You okay?"  Byers asked as he arranged the blankets absently
and sat on the bed next to Langly’s outstretched legs.  

"Yeah, I’m good,"  the other man answered.  

They sat together in an awkward silence, neither knowing what 
to say to the other.  After several uncomfortable minutes, Byers
moved to leave.  "Well...um, you should get some rest.  I, uh...
I’ll bring your meds when you need to take them..." he rambled.

Before he could stand, Langly reached out and caught his hand.  
"Wait..." he said, pulling him back down to sit.  "John....c’mere,"
he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his lover, his
head resting naturally on the older man’s shoulder.  "I’m sorry,
I know you want me to talk but I’m just...I’m not ready yet."

Byers released his tense breath, his own arms going around the
thin figure curled around him and tightening.  He tilted his head,
pressing his lips to the soft blonde hair under his chin.  "I love 
you so much,  Ree.  You know that, right?"

He felt Langly’s head move against him in an affirmative nod.
"Love you too," the voice muffled against his jacket replied.

"Then you have to know that I’m here, whenever you are ready,
whenever you want to talk about what’s going on in that head
of yours, okay?"  Byers brought his right hand up and stroked
his fingers through Langly’s hair.

Again, a simple nod against him that meant so much.  "Just...
please, just don’t give up on me yet."

"I promise, I won’t.  I’d never give up on you."  The older man 
held him just as he had wanted to, for a long time.  Langly fell 
asleep against him after a while, but Byers kept holding him 
anyway.


..oOOo..


10:52 pm Sunday


Byers picked up the file folder he was working on and 
wondered over to the couch to read through the notes.
He glanced up, noticing that Langly was stretched out
on the couch, having fallen asleep with a book in his
hand.  

Sitting on the opposite end next to Langly’s blanket-
covered feet, he began sorting through the file with his
left hand while absent-mindedly rubbing his lover’s foot
with his right.  

After a while Langly slowly woke up to the feeling of 
the hand stroking his foot.  He blinked, clearing his head
of sleep and looked up to see Byers deeply absorbed in
a file.  "Hey..." he muttered, sitting up a bit with a grunt.

Byers looked up and smiled at him.  "Hey.  Sorry, didn’t 
mean to wake you up.  Want me to stop?"

Langly shook his head and smiled back.  "Nah...feels good."
He stretched his long arms out in front of him and yawned,
careful of his healing body.  

"We should get you into bed so you can rest.  We’ve got
an appointment tomorrow;  can’t have you passing out in 
front of the doctor,"  Byers said casually, fully aware that
the other man did not want to go to the councilor.  He had
a point, though; Langly had been getting enough rest, if only
because his body forced him to.  But he still wasn’t eating 
much, and that worried Byers whenever he caught a glimpse
of Langly’s too-thin body.

Langly dropped his eyes and sighed, leaning his head against
the back of the couch.  "Won’t matter;  I don’t have anything
to talk about."

The older man sighed inwardly;  he’d suspected as much.  
"I’d like it if you’d take these sessions seriously, Ree.  He’s
trying to help us get through this."  He got no response, so
he continued.  "Will you at least come with me?  I need you
there.  For me.  Please?"

After a moment, Langly closed his eyes and nodded reluctantly.
"Yeah, okay."


..oOOo..