As I grabbed the last item on my mental list of things to bring, I couldn't help but reflect back over the past couple of months. They had been interesting to say the least. Not just the fact that we'd decided to embark on a journey into kink, but the actual experiences on said journey.

We hadn't even *done* anything the first long while. We talked, I researched, and Jim introduced me to some people he knew, from when he was still in the scene. They taught me a lot and even let me watch a couple of scenes. Wow, talk about hot! I'd never seen anything like it before, but GOD, it turned me on. It also made me feel more ready to do it myself.

The first time... even now I can't help but laugh at myself and at us. We thought, we knew all about it. In reality, we were just blundering along. Kinda like with the Sentinel stuff.

*******

We made a date at the BDSM club those guys were part of. That way we also figured that they'd interfere if we did something wrong. I asked the Dungeon Master to keep an eye out for us and let me know if I did something bad.

I decided that this first time I would just go slowly, use my hands and only a few other toys... I'd borrowed a tawse from the Dungeon Master. He'd let me use it on a pillow earlier, so I felt like I knew how to handle it. Other than that, I only had brought a few soft ropes and my imagination. That was *not* a problem. Oh no. The problem was, that I forgot one very important fact... that my lover is a Sentinel and responds quite differently to sensations than other guys.

It started well... spanking Jim's ass turned out to be a serious turn-on for both of us. He's just such a slut... he loves any and all sensation to his ass. I used my hand on him until I started to hurt too much in my hands. Then I fondled and groped him for a long time, playing with his cock a bit but not too much.

Next I grabbed the tawse. Ouch. I thought I was really gentle, but Jim yelped and would have jumped three feet if he hadn't been tied up. He turned his head and glared at me for what felt like ages. I gulped and asked him straight out if he wanted me to continue. He did, but asked me to be more gentle.

I really tried the whole evening. But no matter what I did with the tawse, it was just too hard. In the end, we gave up on that particular toy and I spanked him again until he was red-hot. Then I signalled the Dungeon Master, and he drew the curtains. Finally, I proceeded to fuck Jim into oblivion, all the way thinking that I *really* needed to know more about the tools of the trade.

********

Patrick, the Dungeon Master, let me borrow some tools of his, to take home and familiarize myself with. That also meant that the next time we played, I was much more successful with that particular toy. What I didn't count on for that time was that there were other toys again. Jim had to correct me a few times when his hands started getting too cold or started to fall asleep.

I berated myself every single time for not noticing, but Jim kept saying that I was doing great. I wasn't so sure, though. That was my second mistake. I got more nervous for every time he had to stop me in order to rearrange something, which meant my aim became shot to hell.

The scene ended when I mishit him seriously. It was a riding crop, and I aimed for his left ass cheek. He'd wiggled a tiny bit to the side, so I hit him squarely on the perineum. He yelled loudly, and I just gave up. I felt so bad, I couldn't go on, no matter how much my beloved said that it didn't matter.

I untied him as quickly as I could. My hands were shaking so badly that it took forever to undo the knots. He just swept me into this big hug and spent the rest of the evening giving me tons of comfort and reassurance. We went home and slept. I just felt so bad about it. I'd failed him. I'd failed to give him the release he needed, and I couldn't even give him sex that night. He was wonderful. He kept telling me that he loved me, that it didn't matter, that I would learn and that even if I didn't, he'd still love me.

I soaked it up like a sponge.

*******

I sighed and picked up the bag. At least the next time had been a success. Everything had gone right. Not a single mishit, no hands falling asleep, everything just perfect. I found out how that feels, and I knew I could never live without that feeling again. The feeling of utter control. And Jim? He was screaming, really screaming, as he came. Never happened before.

He told me afterwards that he was *this* close to passing out.

*******

After that, we played a few more times at the club. I no longer had the toys from Patrick. We bought new ones, both at the hardware store, the super market and at a true kink shop. The hardware store was an eye opener for me. I had no idea you could pervert so many ordinary things. Ropes and chains are logical to get there, but I had never thought of getting snap hooks and spreader bars there. A hollow steel pipe with an expansion bolt on the ends, and we had the same type of spreader bar that would have cost five times as much in a kink shop.

Jim's resourcefulness constantly amazes me.

Clothes pegs and spatulas at the super market, latex gloves at the drug store, and we were mostly set. The kink shop was a true eye opener. I had no idea that Jim likes the colour red so much. At least, not on my face. He showed me a lot of items and gave a short description of most of them, how to use them and on what. I blushed at most. Every time he just smiled fondly and continued on to the next thing on the shelves.

I turned the tables on him when we got to the display of floggers and paddles. I saw one that I liked the look of and experimentally smacked my hand with it a few times. It was hard and stingy but gave a nice tingling heat in my palm. Then I just *looked* at Jim. I'll never forget his reaction to my next move.

"Turn around, Jim."

He looked a bit suspiciously at me, but turned willingly enough.

"Bend over."

He shot me an alarmed look, but again, he did it without saying anything.

I swung the paddle and let it land pretty hard on his ass. He jumped, but still didn't say anything. I saw that another customer looked rather curiously at us. I gave him a few more hard swats. Every time he jumped slightly. Then I asked him to stand up again.

"Do you like the feel of that one?"

He actually blushed, but nodded.

"Then we'll take it. I like it too."

The other customer looked wide-eyed at me, then turned halfway around and asked, "Can I try too?"

I laughed and shook my head no.

"This little slut here is my only one."

Jim didn't say a word to me the rest of the time at the shop.

We left that shop with some floggers, the paddle and some magazines. Now I really felt we were set.

*******

I smiled by myself. The bag I'd just packed and taken downstairs had almost every single item from the various shopping trips. My kit, as I liked to call it. Sometimes I feel that I can turn Jim on just by finding that bag. Some day I'll find out.

At this moment I was though more occupied with my plans for the evening. We were not going to the club tonight. We'd had a good deal of success there, but I felt we'd outgrown the need for it. At least, I felt better about knowing that not a lot of people were looking at my every move. Plus of course, then I could fuck him without bothering about voyeurs.

I stepped out of the Loft with a good feeling of for once being on time. The drive to the private dungeon took almost no time, so I could use a while on getting things set up plus check the room out. A friend of Patrick had recommended it to me. It was a basement in a flat building, and the price was ok. My look around confirmed that the dungeon was also ok. There was safety equipment, bolt cutters, scissors and a First Aid kit.

There wasn't much in the area of tools, but I was prepared for that. It's never a good idea to share toys and tools. That was also why my bag was packed with our ropes and our own toys.

I laid out what I needed for this session. Jim was going to be teased big time, and he didn't even know it. I almost couldn't contain my anticipation, but I knew that I had to, or Jim would read my mood too well. That wouldn't be good, so I sat down to get calm, center myself and get my hard-on under control.

When Jim entered the door a quarter of an hour later, I could receive him calmly. My breathing was a bit fast, but at least most of my blood was in my body and not pooled in my dick. I kissed him hello and started to slowly open his shirt.

He looked at me that special way. You know, when he doesn't really know what I'm up to, but indulges me anyway.

I nibbled my way down to his nipples. Proof positive. He was just as anxious as I was, which was why he didn't say anything. Jim's nipples were hard and begging for my attention.

I didn't give them much. One quick little bite to each, just enough to *really* get his attention, then I went upwards again. I released him and pulled his shirt the rest of the way off him. Stepping back, I just looked at him, his magnificent body.

"Take off your slacks, slowly. Let me see you, all of you."

He complied with a hot look into my eyes, teasing me by unzipping slower than an exotic dancer ever would. His erection was pushing out on the zipper, and when he got to the last bit, he stuck his hand into the opening to hold it in place while he slowly wiggled just enough to let the slacks glide down to his thighs.

Turning around slowly while still wiggling just enough to keep his slacks descending, he timed it just right. At the exact same time as he stopped with his back directly towards me, the garment ended around his ankles. A quick little jog and his shoes and slacks were next to him.

Bending from the waist, he cast a look back at me as he grabbed his boxers. Lowering them while looking at me *that* way was threatening to put me into a zone of a kind. I couldn't see anything but his ass as it was slowly revealed to me.

By the time he was standing naked in front of me, I was breathing hard and trying desperately to remember my plan. Wasn't I supposed to tease him? He kept it up, in more than one way. He was teasing his ass, arching his back into the sensations of fingering himself. By the looks he kept throwing back at me, I knew he was monitoring me closely, and knowing exactly how much he turned me on.

"Come here."

He stopped his actions and glided over to me, hard-on pointing the way. Without me needing to say anything, he dropped to his knees and just looked up at me, his entire being screaming need to me.

"Open my jeans and pull out my cock. Suck me, but do *not* make me come."

He obeyed without a word, almost reverently releasing my cock from its cloth prison. With the same air over him, he opened wide and sucked in half my length. I gasped. There's no one in the entire world that's got as hot a mouth as my Jim, or as skilled. The man is so talented it's scary.

He kept his promise in the most torturous way. Sometimes I think he's got a mean streak a mile wide. He brought me to the brink over and over, but always backing down when I got too close.

"Enough!"

I was shaking all over, trying furiously to control the entity ordinarily known as my cock from taking over all control.

Several deep breaths later I could look at him again. He was still on his knees in front of me, staring intently at my cock with a hungry look on his face. I knew what he wanted. He wanted to get my cock some more: in his mouth, in his ass, it didn't matter. He just wanted it.

He wasn't going to get it.

At least, not the way he thought.

I told him to lie down on the bench, on his back. He didn't take his eyes of me or rather my cock, and he didn't stand up either. Slowly, he crawled backwards until he located the mentioned bench. Then he raised just enough to wiggle onto it and slowly lowered himself.

Never once did he take his eyes off of me.

While he was moving, I was breathing deeply, getting myself under control. It's a bit hard to do, though, when the man you love is spread in front of you with this *look* on his face.

Sometimes I am almost willing to swear he can make me come with just a look.

When he was settled, I approached him. Unhurried, giving the perfect image of no urgency, I came closer to him. Of course that image was belied by the drooling erection pointing towards him, every so often loosening yet another drop.

I ignored it.

When I was finally close enough to touch Jim, I grabbed his hands and lifted them slowly over his head. The trust in him... it breaks me every time. He let me do it, let me handcuff his wrists to the edge of the bench. The manacles were padded; I'd made sure not to get anything tough for this particular session. I knew that Jim would be willing to do anything to touch me before tonight was over. I was going to make sure he would be.

With a final check to make sure the manacles were tight enough, but not too tight, and that he was comfortable without being able to move, I moved down to his legs. I stood looking at them for a while.

"No."

I shook my head and removed the leg cuffs I'd laid out.

"I'm not going to restrain your legs, at least, not right now."

He looked at me but didn't say a word. He knew better than to comment on something like that. That's at least one thing we'd learned from our mistakes: I react contrarily to comments. If he wanted to get the leg cuffs on, he couldn't say so in a scene. Before? Yes. Not during. I will not let myself be manipulated by him, not in such a situation. He has to give me full control.

He does that very well.

Walking up to his waist, I assessed his position. Like he was there, flat on his back, I had full access to his front, but not his ass. That was ok.

I stripped down to nothing, letting him get the full view of me. Then I pulled over a low stool and used that to climb up on the bench. Once up, I turned around so I was facing his feet, letting my cock bob just out of reach of his mouth. Even without looking, I knew he was trying desperately to get a taste. It was denied him. He could only scent me.

He gave a little gasp with every breath, so I knew he was using that option to it's fullest.

"Dial it a bit down, pet. I don't want you zoning."

He whimpered, but I heard his gasps get more infrequent, so I knew he'd obeyed.

"Like what you see, my pet? Want to get more?"

Louder whimper.

"Yeah, you'd like to get my cock back in your mouth, wouldn't you? Give it to you so you could suck it deep into that hungry throat of yours. You'd love to milk me for hours, hm? Get every drop I could give you, as often as I was able to."

Harder movement and a deep moan.

I s-l-o-w-l-y backed up a bit, keeping an eye on things through my legs. When I got almost in reach of his mouth, I stopped. He strained and moaned louder. One tiny movement more, and he could reach me with the tip of his tongue.

The touch was electric.

I gave him a treat for enduring so much. I lifted up, so he could get some of drops pooling at the tip. He lapped them up eagerly, almost whining when he realized he'd gotten all I was going to give him, concerning proximity.

I withdrew from his tongue. It was too dangerous being that close to his mouth. I was in risk of forgetting my plan and just use his mouth until he'd drained me of every last drop I could offer.

"You're too good, pet."

I stretched a bit further and retrieved the small rope I'd put near his feet. I let him enjoy the view while I lovingly trapped his cock and balls, winding the rope around the whole part, and then dividing his balls from his cock by winding several loops just around the sac. I finished up by tying one little knot underneath the sac, then pulling one string up and under the strings at the base of his cock, finally tying a firm knot more or less right in the middle of his sac.

I admired the view for a few minutes, while also checking that no skin or hairs were trapped in the loops. Reaching out, I fondled his balls.

"Feel good, pet?"

He arched under my hand, trying to push further into it. I took that as a yes.

With a little playful lick to his cock, I again withdrew my touch.

"I've got a special treat for you, my pet. Lift your legs, all the way."

He shuddered, but obeyed. I practically drooled at the sight of his muscles rippling in his abdomen when he lifted from flat to having his knees tucked to my flanks.

He was now wide-open to me and totally accessible.

I let him feel that vulnerability for a while, not doing anything, just waiting. When he started moving slightly, highly aroused and a bit embarrassed at my scrutiny, I acted.

With a little growl for effect I began licking his ass, no warning, no preliminaries, just tongue dead center and lick. Quaking and shivering, he howled out his pleasure at my action.

"Oh, please... yes... oh Master."

I went deeper in his tempting ass, tasting ever deeper with every plunge I made.

"Oh-oh-oh... oh God, YELLOW!"

His body was taut as a bowstring when he called out. I stopped immediately. It was not his real safe-word, but it was a word I couldn't ignore. It meant I needed to back down. He was too close to coming. He had not gotten permission, so he stopped me the only way he could: his "back-down-a-bit-word".

While he came back from the edge, I reached for, and grabbed, the tube of lube plus a few other items from their place near the end of the bench. I had no idea if Jim had seen me put them there. If he had, he had probably thought it was for when I wanted to fuck him.

I looked down to his ass again. You couldn't ask for a more delicious sight: his hole, wet and glistening, gaping the tiniest bit and quivering in beat with the shivers running through his body. Lubing the first item out of Jim's sight, I set it aside, ready for when Jim was.

"Ok, Master. I'm calm again."

I smiled even if he couldn't see it. He just knew I wouldn't continue before he was off the edge, and knowing I wouldn't have any sure-fire clues as to when that was, he told me.

Picking up the toy, I pressed it gently to his hole. His only reaction was a gasp and a slight upwards push. Slowly, the plug slid all the way in to his eager ass. He practically purred when his ass snapped shut on the narrowest part, the entire plug buried in him.

"Lie down again, flat on your back."

"Yes, Master."

He hissed at the movement, and I could clearly see how his balls tried valiantly to pull up. The string worked against that, my main reason for putting it there. It didn't prevent an orgasm, just prolonged the trip towards it.

When he again was at rest, I grabbed the lube again.

"I told you, you were in for a treat tonight, my pet. You haven't even gotten to the best part yet."

I positioned myself, so he had a full view to my private areas, my cock again only inches from him, but tilted, so he had full view of my ass as well. I slicked up a few fingers and let them glide sensuously down my crack. Our moans at my action were almost simultaneous.

I let my fingertip slide into my ass, just holding it there, feeling my muscles grab and try to hold the intruder away. I fought my instinctive reaction and pushed further in, while breathing deeply and evenly.

He could see everything I did, every reaction I had to it... the knowledge was making me light-headed and making me want to show him even more. This was even better than what I'd hoped for.

I let the finger get company by another, slowly sliding them in and out of my still slightly rebellious body. I fought my reactions, forced myself to relax, and I could feel it was slowly working. I needed to be very relaxed before taking it another notch higher on the "tease-Jim" scale.

Finally I was able to take my own fingers without problems, and I upped the ante: I angled the entry a bit, hitting my own prostate. The jolt going through my body was almost frightening. I had no idea I was that close to the edge. I scrambled to choke my cock, shaking all over my body and still plunging deep into my own ass.

I couldn't look down at Jim, that would be the end for me. I shouldn't move, but couldn't stop it. I moaned my lust while trying to fight it.

I felt myself win, backing down with the help of the vicious chokehold on my cock. The pain distracted me enough to get my wits back and pull my fingers out.

"Damn, Jim. I had no idea this would be so intense."

I chuckled a bit at myself and at my distinct disability to keep in control. His only reaction was a muffled whimper. I looked back at him. He was biting his lip, controlling himself so hard.

"It's pretty intense for you too, eh? God, you should try being on this side of it, knowing you're watching me, scenting me and listening to my every reaction. It's almost beyond intense."

He met my eyes briefly and mouthed, "Love you, Master."

I melted inside. Strange, how those words made control come back to me. I grabbed the last item and lubed it generously.

"This will either mean the end very fast for either or both of us, or it'll take us further than we've been before."

Reaching back I placed the dildo at my hole. The muffled whimpers were getting louder now. I chanced a look down at Jim's cock and saw it drooling steadily, the liquid pooling on his stomach. His balls were turning a rather intense shade of red, almost purple. Chancing it, I lowered my face to touch a cheek to his balls. Nope, they weren't too cold, so no imminent risk.

I took a deep breath and let the dildo enter me. I felt stretched, almost to the limit. That was good, since it meant that my intense high was backing down a bit. Easy did it. To the encouraging sound of Jim's whimpers, I took most of the dildo into my ass.

I rested when it was fully embedded and then started to gently pull it out, only to let it glide just as easily in again. Keeping to the same speed for a long while was serving a dual purpose: letting me get used to the size of it and tantalizing Jim with every slow push and pull.

Gradually I sped up, as I got more used to the feeling of something in my ass again. It had been a long time, longer than usual. I didn't know why, but Jim hadn't fucked me since before we embarked on the journey into the BDSM world. Now I was showing him that I wanted it and teasing him with the fact that he couldn't touch me.

I couldn't help but smile at my own evil streak.

An unintentional angle to my hand got the head of the dildo into contact with my prostate, firing me up into high gear and making my smile vanish.

"Oooooooh God, JIM! So hot, fucking myself, so fucking good. Are you watching, my pet? Do you see how good it feels to me? Does your ass want the same? Do you clench on the plug in you?"

"Yes... all of it," he whimpered.

I lowered my head, hungry for more, not able to wait any longer. I sucked in his entire length while I pulled his legs apart and grabbed hold of the plug.

"NO! Please, Master, I'll come!"

"I want you to."

A heated whisper against his cockhead before sinking it into my throat again.

He howled in lust, arching his back, trying to get more of his cock into me. I continued fucking myself in a frenzy, nudging my hot spot over and over until I was balanced on the knife-edge of orgasm.

With supreme effort, I slowed down slightly and pulled off of his cock.

"You want it, pet?"

I wiggled the plug a bit harder, making him shake and shiver harder than ever before.

"Answer me, pet."

Jim took a couple of shivering breaths and then cried out the loudest, most needy "YES" I'd heard from him ever.

I scooted back immediately, simultaneously sinking my cock into his talented mouth and sucking his cock into mine. I plunged the dildo in at the same break-neck speed as before, but didn't get more than one or two thrusts in before surrendering to the pleasure.

I whimpered around his cock, barely having the presence of mind to keep sucking him. The plug was moved in him, mainly because my hand spasmed in rhythm with my spurts into his mouth.

I hadn't even finished coming myself, before I felt his offering to me: hot, salty and very much Jim. He bucked on the bench, almost lifting me clear off it, howling around my cock.

I felt boneless. For a moment, I thought I was sliding down, but then I realized it was Jim shifting slightly. I guess he also realized oxygen is good. No matter what, he released my poor, spent cock and lay there panting. Long minutes later, I felt restored enough to make sure he was completely comfortable. I untied his cock and balls, giving each part a little kiss as I did so. Then I unplugged him and removed the dildo from my very tired ass. Somehow I even managed to get enough strength to crawl down off the bench and untie his hands.

That was it. No more energy. I still climbed back up to snuggle in with my sated lover.

"That was... intense."

"Yeah... WAY beyond intense. I had no idea... Jim, did you like it?"

He chuckled.

"Ask me later, when I'm no longer flying high. Am I still lying down?"

"Man, you are *wasted*!"

I laughed. I just couldn't help it. My big, buff lover almost giggling on an intense sexual high. Again, I thought back to our first times on our journey into the world of BDSM. We'd come so far. This was a far cry from those early disasters. This was the way it was supposed to be: two people sated beyond belief and relaxed enough to imitate warm butter. No tensions anywhere, no shyness, no blame, just happiness and love bussing around us, adding to the mixture.

"Jim, man. I love you, so much more than words could ever tell you."

He dragged up enough energy to kiss me lazily.

"You tell me... when you talk and when you don't. This... I didn't even know I had that button until you pressed it. I love you, Blair. My Master. My Life."

And we sealed it with a kiss.

The End