Closet Faith
by Lyrica
Walter Skinner was waiting for him.
Fox Mulder could tell.
Even though Skinner was standing with a group of agents. Mulder could
tell from the way Skinner’s gaze wasn’t centered.
Mulder had been at the center of that dark gaze enough to know when
it was focused, and Skinner wasn’t focused on the
people around him. He was watching. Waiting. Mulder knew from the way
Skinner's head was turned as if he was just half
listening to the conversation swirling around him.
Waiting for him. Mulder knew…from the way Skinner's gaze focused on
him, tracked him, as he came around the corner and
started down the hall. From the way Skinner detached himself from the
group the moment he saw Mulder.
Skinner frowned as he strode down the hallway, long legs eating up the distance.
Mulder grimaced, then smiled, then frowned, unable to decide which way
to shift his muscles to cover the nervous apprehension that tickled the
pit of his stomach. He went only part of the way down the hallway, stopping
at a long row of windows and
allowing Skinner to close the distance between them. He hid his undecided
face by staring at the view of the top of the parking
garage outside the window.
He pushed the edges of his jacket back and rested his hands on his hips
casually, pretending that he didn’t feel the radiant heat
of Skinner’s presence as his boss stopped behind him. That he couldn’t
sense the smoldering power. Like sunlight on water, the nervousness and
anticipation that rippled through his stomach every time he faced the man.
Skinner glanced back at the cluster of agents as he circled Mulder,
stopped to face him. "The rumor mill says you met with
Blevins," he said without preamble.
Mulder didn’t know what he been expecting, but that wasn’t it. Skinner’s
voice was low, conspiratorial, but it had that clipped,
blunt, I’m-about-ten-seconds-from-being-really-pissed-off quality that
Mulder had come to recognize. And avoid.
He shrugged, surprised. Just a touch of annoyance bit into the calm
he was wearing like a badge, like a shield, from his talk with Scully.
It had felt so good, deciding what to do, feeling comfortable with the
decision, knowing that Scully understood even if
she didn’t completely agree. Knowing that she was trusting his intuition.
He didn’t appreciate Skinner nipping at the edges of his tranquility. "I
wasn’t aware you followed the *rumor mill,* Sir."
He squinted, trying to see Skinner’s expression against the bright backlight
of the afternoon sun, frowning when he realized that
Skinner had maneuvered until his back was to the window. Without even
realizing it, Mulder had completed almost an
180-degree turn in response to Skinner’s movement, the two of them
shifting like dancers without music. Like light on water.
Was it something Skinner did unconsciously…always putting himself so
that his face was in shadow and the person he was
confronting was blinded by the bright light? When Skinner was bearing
down on him, wings spread until he was taking up the
room, light glowing off the spotless white shirts, Mulder was always
reminded of the pictures of angels he’d seen as a child,
terrible and beautiful creatures limned in golden light. But was this
angel swooping down to save him or condemn him?
He took a step back, wanting some breathing space. "What is that? Some
kind of weird cop thing, always putting your back to
the light?"
Skinner glared at him. At least, he thought Skinner glared at him. That
aggressive thrust of jaw went with a glare, even if Mulder
couldn’t quite see the expression.
Regardless, Skinner ignored his comment. Closed the breathing space
with a step. "After I heard about the meeting, I couldn’t
find you…" He left it hanging, obviously expecting an explanation.
"I wasn’t aware that I was checking in with you today, Sir," Mulder
said silkily, keeping his tone light enough that he couldn’t be reprimanded
for insolence, tight enough to say that where he went was his own business.
Tight enough to satisfy his own
irritation at Skinner for spoiling his mood and for looming there in
the light, soaking up the shadows and the oxygen.
"Agent Mulder—!" Just as Skinner bristled, the convergence of agents
down the hall broke up, and he cut off his words,
nodding as several of the men and women went past.
With Skinner’s attention diverted, Mulder edged around. Forcing Skinner
to turn with him or allow him to sidle out of his sight.
Turning until he was the one with his back to the window, and Skinner’s
face was illuminated.
Skinner blinked against the light, his pupils drawing down to tight
little pinpricks of black. He scowled, obviously not at all
amused by the dance.
Mulder would have been amused by it, if his growing disquiet in his
stomach hadn’t been shifting from shimmer to shadow. If he
hadn’t been concentrating on catching Skinner like that, with his attention
elsewhere. "Blevins said he has evidence that you’re
the mole," he said very quietly, very clearly.
Skinner went still and pale, the normally healthy glow of his complexion
fading to sickly and yellow. His expression slid from
annoyed to carefully, studiously neutral. "Did he--? Did he show you
this evidence?"
And there it went, sucked away, any hope of calm. Of regaining the peacefulness
that had come from talking to Scully, from the
sense of rightness at their decisions. Blacked out like someone had
reached up and snapped off the light. Scully didn’t trust
Skinner. And Blevins said he had evidence against him. Mulder was the
only one holding out for Skinner’s trustiworthiness, and
now Skinner himself was erasing it.
"Did he--?" Skinner repeated, then stopped mid-sentence, looked up,
stepped back, as a woman came out of an office several
feet down the hall. He waited until she turned the corner before he
finished his question. "What did he show you?" No anger in
the deep voice. Just a growing urgency. Just…fear.
Mulder recognized it for what it was because it sounded like the sensation
that was eating the lining of his stomach. Hoping for
innocence or guilt to cross a face that gave away not even a smile
was a ridiculous expectation. But Mulder realized that’s what
he’d been doing. Standing there wanting something that would tell him
his trust wasn’t misplaced. Hoping the next words out of
Skinner’s mouth, the next expression, would tell him Skinner was a
friend. Would tell him his intuition was right. Something that
would erase that last little niggling doubt. Quiet the little voice
was whispering, *Scully doesn’t trust him. What if you’re the one
who’s wrong?* He hated it, that nasty little whisper. The growing hotcold
darkness in the pit of his stomach, the fear that Scully
might be right.
The fear underlying Skinner’s toneless words was the twitch he’d been
looking for…but it wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear.
"That was a mistake," he said, leaning towards Skinner, lowering his
voice as if he was about to give up a secret. "Until now, I
thought they were wrong. Now…"
Skinner shifted into motion, swinging his head, his shoulders. That
thing he did with his body when he was annoyed, when his
agitation level was inching up. Starting to turn, but not quite turning
away. "What are you talking about, Agent Mulder?" he
snapped.
"Scully. Blevins. I was the only one holding out for your innocence.
Next time, sneer a little when you say ‘evidence.’ And next
time, try not to sound like somebody just put a sharp knife next to
your balls." He struggled to keep his expression neutral and
knew he failed miserably.
Now Skinner really did turn away. Wheeling away, mouth twisting with the disgust that had been missing from his question.
While his back was turned, Mulder walked away. Heart thumping with a
stabbing, off tempo beat. Trying to the keep the anger
and hurt from burning in his face. One day, he’d learn to trust Scully’s
instinct. One day, he’d learn that the person who
proclaimed friendship loudest was usually the one with the knife tucked
up his sleeve.
"Agent Mulder, I’m not finished."
Skinner’s voice, low but angry, raked at him. He gestured behind him
as he stalked away. Signaling dismissal. Signing *go
away*. One day, he would figure out why it hurt so badly that Scully
was right about Skinner and he was wrong.
Skinner caught up with him, grabbed his arm.
He twitched away. Heat enveloped his elbow. Five spots of fire marking
where Skinner’s fingertips had touched him. The
burning connected, somehow, to his lungs, to his ability to breath.
"Mulder!" Skinner reached for him again, backed off as another agent
came out into the hallway. As the man looked at them
quizzically, Skinner dropped his hand.
The moment the man turned his back, Skinner grabbed Mulder again. This
time with a grip that would require a fight to break.
So much power, uncontrollable strength. Anger prickled along Mulder's
scalp, sliding down beneath his collar. He dug in his
heels, muscles bunching to fight, but before he could twist into position,
Skinner snatched open a door and shoved him through
it. Releasing him as he stumbled into darkness.
Mulder wheeled, heart ratcheting like a jackhammer in his chest, able
to see only the hulking outline of Skinner disappear into
darkness as the door closed. The snick of a lock reached through the
roar of his breathing.
The light came on, a yellow bulb shaded by white metal, hanging from
a twisted cord. He forced himself to concentrate on the
man standing in front of him, blocking his view of the door, but he
couldn’t help glancing around. They were in a closet. A small
janitorial closet. Neat little space, brooms and a big floor-polishing
machine in one corner. Towels and gloves and dust cloths
stacked on a shelf. A gray space, as dusty as his throat and lit by
a tired, bare bulb. And like the hallway, made even smaller by
the man who was in it with him.
Despite the thunder of his pulse, his sense of humor reasserted itself
for the first time in days. The cloak and dagger that was his
life had reached a new high. He was facing his angry boss, possible
traitor to his quest, in a broom closet. It was too funny to be frightening.
Too bizarre to be taken seriously. "We’re going to have a meeting in a
closet?"
Skinner ignored the remark. "Scully thinks I’m dirty?" The careful control
in his voice gave away how much he was fighting for
control. He shifted, turning his body, fists clenched.
Mulder dragged his attention back to Skinner. Back to the tight, not
quite hidden emotion in his eyes. He’d watched Skinner
long enough to know the tricks he played with his body. The way he
intimidated people with his size, turning his shoulders so
that he seemed to be filling up the room. In this case, trying to cover
up what? Vulnerability? Guilt?
He remembered Skinner, asking, *Does Agent Scully think I’m guilty?*
He remembered Skinner saying helplessly, *I didn’t
take my own advice.* *Remember who your friends are.* He remembered
why he trusted Skinner in the first place, all he’d
done for Scully, for him… And why that little hotspot of doubt was
digging at his faith. He turned his shoulders, squaring off
against his boss, refusing to be intimidated. "The DOD guy who was
watching me. He was making calls through the PBX
operator to a Bureau extension. Scully traced it to you."
Skinner shook his head. "My extension?"
"130."
"That’s your evidence? That could be anyone at executive level. That’s
a routing extension." Skinner leaned on him. "What
else?" Belligerent and daring him, taunting him, to produce better
evidence.
"Blevins said if I named you, it would probably exonerate me." He wanted
to be convinced, wanted to see Skinner as innocent,
as his friend, but the moment the words came out, he’d knew he’d made
a mistake.
Skinner’s face changed, flashed from belligerence to rage. His voice
went dangerously soft and still. "You’re going to sacrifice
me? To save yourself." Raw betrayal. Skinner took a step toward him.
Menace in the set of his shoulders.
Mulder couldn’t help himself. He’d never hesitated to square off against
the bigger man when Skinner was angry. But this…this
was something he’d never seen. More than anger. He stepped back, needing
more than breathing room this time. Needing
running room. Coming up against the shelves. The sharp edges of wooden
shelves cut into shoulder and spine and thigh. "No.
Wait…" There didn’t seem to be any space left in the small room. What
was happening? Skinner had his gaze trapped. Caught
as if some kind of magnetic field had sprung up between them. "I…"
Skinner pressed so close that Mulder could feel his body heat. The bigger
man was eating up all the oxygen, making it
impossible to formulate a coherent thought.
"What will it take, Mulder?," Skinner whispered, and his voice was like
a small flame about to leap out of control. The sudden,
soft rush of a bonfire igniting. "To have your trust?" Skinner came
in on him. Breathing as if he, too, was having trouble finding
air. "What kind of proof do you need?" His pupils were dilated, just
the barest circle of deep brown visible against black. Fists
coming up. "What will it take, to keep you from doubting me? Sacrificing
me?"
Mulder twitched, muscles bunching. "Wait…"
Skinner grabbed him by his coat, the way he had in the hospital, double
handfuls of his jacket. Yanked him forward. "What will
it take?" He didn’t yell, but the bonfire was there, roaring in his
voice.
The question whispered across Mulder’s face, burned his lips. He opened
his mouth to gasp, inhaling the heat and the words,
turning his face up, and Skinner kissed him. Mulder could hardly claim
it was unexpected, the way he’d tilted his head back and licked his lips,
offering his mouth and his fear, but it was. So unexpected and so frightening
and so welcome, the punishing, hot
pressure against his mouth. Skinner’s tongue rasped across his lips.
Licking away his fear, as suddenly as it had come.
Mulder sighed, and a little voice inside his head sighed with him, *Finally.*
He didn’t even know what it meant, but his
awareness spun lazily, crazily, out of control. Sensations dropped
onto him, into him, one by one, like slow, leisurely raindrops.
Lips. Tongue. Minty toothpaste. Skin bristly with the beginnings of
an afternoon beard. Salt, male scent, thick and heady. Cloth
twisted in his fingers. Teeth, nipping at his bottom lip. Tongue. Soft,
little mewling sounds of need and pleasure, escalating as he
tightened his grip on Skinner’s coat and arched up against the heat
of his body. And he realized the sounds were coming out of
his own throat.
Skinner responded, twisting his hands deeper in his jacket, pulling
him tighter. Almost dragging his feet off the floor. Pulling him
forward until they were hip to hip, chest to chest. Cock to cock. Curving,
hot, insistent pressure. Luxuriant weight against his
erection. Skinner said something into his mouth as he rocked against
him. Something he didn’t understand, except for the sound
of it. The low, growling animal sound of it.
He tried to pull away to hear. But Skinner wouldn’t stop kissing him, murmuring to him and kissing him until he couldn’t breathe, until he was melting. His bones liquefying and slipping out of his skin. Until all that was holding him up the grip on his jacket.
As if he knew, as if he wanted to see Mulder slide into a boneless puddle,
Skinner released his coat, then caught him before he
could fall by sliding strong fingers into his hair, threading through
his hair, cupping his head. Holding him up by just the pressure
on his skull. Mouth moving more insistently, threatening to devour
him, to crush him.
He twisted his head, wrenched his mouth away. Gasping for air. Breathing
in the scents of warm skin and their clothing and his
own excitement. "Wait, I need—" he gasped, but that was all he could
get out, and it was just as well, because he didn’t know
what he needed. To trust Skinner? To believe in him? *I need…*
Skinner didn’t want to let him go. His grip tightened on Mulder's head,
thumbs digging into his face, trying to draw his mouth
back around.
He obeyed the pressure, allowing his head to be turned, until he was
gazing into Skinner’s eyes. Until he saw something he’d
never thought to see there. Heat and passion and madness. Arousal stronger
than his own, already burning far past his own.
He wanted it, the desire. Wanted Skinner wanting him. And knowing it,
knowing he wanted Skinner whether he was friend or
foe, innocent or guilty, was a surprise, a shock. It hit him hard,
right in the center of his chest, a blow both warm and jarring.
Faith didn’t matter. Doubt didn’t matter. He smiled. Grimly, utterly
delighted. Overwhelmed. He reached greedily for Skinner’s
hips, steadying himself, dragging Skinner tighter against him.
Skinner turned his face away, hiding his frenzy. Buried his face in Mulder's neck and bit him.
Mulder arched, like a cat stretching toward a stroking hand, rubbed
his cock against Skinner’s, hating the thickness of clothing
that kept them apart. "Oh, god…" Tight, breathless laughter. Exhilaration
twining along his nerves, dancing over his skin. Body
clamoring for more contact. He reached for Skinner’s belt, for his
own.
Skinner growled, low warning deep in his throat and caught him by his
jacket again. Turned Mulder roughly in his arms, forcing
him as he tried to protest and wriggle free. Shoved him the length
of the small room and up against the back wall.
He stopped struggling as Skinner’s mouth fastened onto his neck. As
his head was tilted back to expose his throat. Teeth on his throat, scraping
and tearing at the tender flesh. Hard cock pressed against his ass now,
rubbing against him. Pressing him into
the wall. And the whole time, that animal purr rumbling through Skinner’s
mouth into him.
Mulder tried to arch back and couldn’t. He groaned, frustrated and aroused
at being crushed by Skinner’s weight, then
chopped the sound back before it could grow too loud.. He was blanketed
by the bigger man. Incredible heat against his back.
Cold, rough wall against his chest. Skinner moving harder against him
with an insistent rhythmic intent that he welcomed, even as the absurdity,
the danger, of it speared him. "We’re not---"
Skinner’s weight backed off him. Hands came down his body, cutting off
his air. Trapping his protest. Slid into his groin. One
hand worked his cock through his trousers; the other stripped at his
belt and his zipper.
He gasped, arching back to give Skinner more room to work him, to manipulate
him. He thrust forward towards the knowing
fingers as they slid inside his clothes. "We’re not going to do this
here." Half question/half crazed laughter with no real protest.
Knowing they were because there was no way he was going to stop Skinner.
No way he even wanted to.
"It’s probably the only room in the building that’s not bugged," Skinner
growled in his ear and shoved Mulder's trousers and
shorts down and his shirt up. As if he didn’t care whether the room
was bugged or not.
Mulder jerked. Did Skinner know there were bugs? Did he know where they were? Then bare, hot hands were on his skin, and he didn’t care anymore. One hand pushed up under his shirt to his nipple, the other dipped down to his balls. Both squeezed.
The downward spiral of pleasure along his nerves vaulted into freefall.
Sensation buffeted him. Rushing so fast that he could only grasp at one
thing, begin to feel it, enjoy it, before it was snatched away and another
sensation took its place. Hands cupping his cock, his balls. Cold air down
his ass and thighs as Skinner edged away from him. And before he could
protest or shiver, hot,
bare skin against him. Warming him. Burning him. Naked cock against
his naked ass. Hands stroking his buttocks. Fingers
stroking along the crease. Teeth, biting him through his shirt. Fingers
dancing away. Returning to delve deeper. Tongue slithering along his earlobe.
Somebody was making those strange little sounds again, and again, it
was his voice, clamoring and mewling. He reached for the
wall, clinging to it for support. Because they *were* going to do this.
Here and now, and he wanted it. Ached for it. Was
burning for it.
He was burning up under the weight and pressure of his coat and shirt,
wishing he could be rid of the barrier of it, preventing
him from feeling Skinner against his back. He scrabbled at his tie,
trying to loosen it, to get air. Just a little air, to cool the heat.
Skinner’s tongue danced along his neck where he’d dragged his collar
away, and then his teeth traced the same path, and he
knew it wasn’t the coat that was going to burn him up.
He dragged at the wallpaper with his nails. Gray vinyl with a rough
woven texture that scraped against his forehead and his
cock. Gray and course and industrial. Such a contrast to the soft warmth
of the fingers that stroked his spine, that found the
bundle of nerves in the small of his back that tickled and tingled
and made him come up on tiptoe.
Skinner rested the heel of his hand there, lightly, pressing him into
stillness as a finger slipped down. Wet and slick now. Saliva?
Lubricant? "Will you trust me?" Finger pressing at him. Voice pressing
at him. "Will you?" Pressing roughly and circling and
coaxing until no amount of pressure could have kept him still.
Mulder gasped and twisted. He didn’t know. He didn’t care. He wanted
to say it, but Skinner’s hands were robbing him of
speech. His body answered for him. Loosening. Opening. The finger slipped
inside him. Burned.
Skinner hissed and pushed in a second finger, ignoring his initial croon
of pain. Pushing him past it, breathing "yes" in his ear
when his body dilated.
Mulder groaned in counterpoint and bucked. So hot, so ready. He writhed,
moaning encouragement as his body accepted
being stretched and stroked, riding the pleasure and the pain with
equal fervor. Arching back against the invasion. Wanting with
a sudden, overwhelming ache, quick movement and rougher, deeper penetration.
Skinner leaned into him, pressed his face close. "You move pretty good for a dead man."
The words were muffled against his neck, gruff with passion, and if
there was any anger left in the rough voice, Mulder couldn’t
hear it. It was the second time Skinner had said that to him, but this
time, it sounded so different. As different as night and day,
the difference between accusing anger and suppressed laughter.
Laughter. It was not a sound he associated with Skinner. It was enthralling.
It stripped away what little control he had left. "Half
dead," he growled, and he arched, thrusting his ass back, inviting
the penetration that Skinner was promising. "Fuck me."
Demanding it.
Skinner shuddered against him. Steadied him, hands on his hips. Replaced
his fingers with a thicker pressure. Leaning his
forehead against Mulder’s ear, leaning them both into the wall, Skinner
moaned softly as he pushed.
Mulder gasped. Not enough preparation. Too big. Too fast, and it hurt.
But not enough to overcome the pleasure. The
overwhelming, burning pleasure of being penetrated. The joy of hearing
Skinner’s voice, as he sank into him.
On one side, his face was cold, cheek pressed against the rough vinyl
wallpaper. On the other, warmed by Skinner’s breath. By the harsh sounds
of pleasure caressing his cheek. By his own name, whispered tightly, and
Skinner’s rasped confession, "Oh,
god, it’s good to finally be in you."
*Finally.* Had he said it aloud before? The implication of that huskily
spoken *finally* echoed his earlier thought so exactly it
took his breath away. He took a deep, shaky breath, hummed his agreement,
his approval. He wanted to know how long
*finally* meant, but he couldn’t find the words to ask. And he couldn’t
begin to voice how good it felt to have Skinner in him.
How much it mattered that it *was* Skinner, filling him, holding him.
Resting against him. How little it mattered that he had
doubts. He managed to moan only, "Yes. Good."
Skinner groaned. Started to move, head still resting against his face. A slow, chafing rhythm.
Too slow. Too careful. He hissed, "Harder." Pushed back against Skinner’s
cock the way he’d rocked against his hand.
"Harder. Come on."
Skinner groaned again and gave him what he wanted. Thrusting into him,
rough and fast, so hard his face was crushed against
the unforgiving surface of the wall.
He whimpered, digging at the wall as if he would climb it. Whimper becoming
a gasp becoming a moan. Pleasure strummed his
nerves, singing in rhythm to his voice.
"Sh-h-h. Sh-h-h." Skinner leaned into him, smashing him into the wall.
Fucking him into the wall. "No noise." Thrusts slowing as
his hand come up, fingertips resting for a moment against Mulder's
lips, trailing down his throat.
A mix of crazed laughter and soft sob hiccuped out of him. "If anybody’s
listening…" he gasped, "I think you bouncing my head
off this wall has already given us away."
Skinner pressed his face into his shoulder. Shaking without sound.
Laughter? Twice in one day? He couldn’t tell, and when he tried to twist
to see, Skinner gasped and the pressure inside him
was a quicksilver blossom of fire. Sudden tension and rippling, gleaming
sensation. As blinding as the bright light Skinner used
as a shield. Mulder twisted again, sending pleasure like lightning,
jagged and sharp, raging through his body. Laughter forgotten.
"It’s an outside wall," he growled. "Fuck me. Fuck me hard."
Skinner grabbed his hips, trying to stop him. Hissed a warning. "Don’t.
I can’t. I can’t." His hands came up, covered Mulder's,
fingers twining with his. Holding him pinned. Skinner turned his head,
searching blindly for Mulder’s mouth. "I can’t hold back."
Whispered, throaty confession, breathed past his lips. It was too much.
Walter Skinner, in him. Pushed to the edge and
trembling. Too much. He moaned. Gripped Skinner’s fingers tighter and
twisted. Arching up against the wall. Almost painful,
like sandpaper, the textured vinyl against his cock. Like honey, the
cock moving in him, thick and sweet and slow. The voice,
insinuating itself into his blood, gifting him with laughter and passion
and light.
Skinner disentangled one hand, reached down, cupping his cock. Shielding
him, stroking him with his palm. So soft after the
rough wall, insistent and greedy velvet.
Mulder shuddered. Shifted his stance, pushing away from the wall and
bracing, because he could feel it. The pleasure, starting
to crest. Coming at him from everywhere.
Skinner’s hand, bringing him off. Skinner’s cock, moving in him. Skinner’s voice whispering, "Like this?"
Tempo of the thrusts speeding. Starting to grind into him. But it didn’t
matter anymore if it was fast or slow, or rough or sweet.
It was enough. It was too much. "I going to—" he gasped. "Now. Oh,
now."
The pressure boiled over. Sweet and hot, climbing his spine. Spangling out into his nerves. Pleasure washing over him.
Skinner cried out, a muffled shout, and he echoed it. Mulder could feel
him, coming inside him. A different, swelling pressure.
Warmth. Fingers gripping his hard enough to hurt. Driving him higher.
Semen spurted out of him, onto the wall and Skinner’s fingers, and he
had to close his eyes because that really was too much.
Too much, his own orgasm and Skinner’s hand, moving on his cock. And
the incredible, keening pleasure, bright, bright light
spilling into his belly. Skinner plastered against him, shuddering
out his orgasm. Trembling as he rode out his own. For just a
moment, together. In the same place.
Skinner moaned against his shoulder, hot, humid breath seeping through his clothes. His thrusts slowed to little pushes. Trying to insinuate himself deeper.
Mulder pushed back, wanting him deeper. Wanting all of him. All of him.
More, and he realized he was moaning it, *More,
more* and Skinner was whispering *Yes* in response, moving for him
again. Rocking in him as the spasms took him again.
Making him shudder and groan.
Until finally, the next clench of his muscles was easier. More bearable.
And the next. And the next. Until without Skinner against him, he would
have fallen. Would have slid down the wall and crumpled there. Shivering
and spent on the cold, gray floor.
Coming down and waking up to the roar in his ears and fresh air burning
in his lungs.
Skinner was leaning into his back, holding him up. Hot, satiated, welcome
weight. Sweet, hot breath against his ear, like his
own, slowly becoming more even. Mulder's shoulder and his face and
their hands, still entwined, were pressed into the rough
surface. "Oh, god…" he whispered softly. Overwhelmed. Overcome.
Skinner’s head moved against him, nodding as if he agreed, as if he
understood the sentiment. He straightened slowly, pulled
away.
Cold air slipped down Mulder’s back, across his bottom, his cock. Sudden
slick emptiness. The fingers clasped with his were
the last connection to be broken. Slipping away, dragging gently across
his cheek, dipping to touch his throat, as if they were
reluctant to go. He interpreted it as reluctance, because he wanted
it to be. He stayed against the wall, too drained to move.
Skinner reached for the pile of paper towels on the nearby shelf. Dry,
brown paper. Loud and crackly in the sudden quiet as he
cleaned himself. Metallic jingle of his belt as he fixed his clothing.
"You’ll be late for the hearing."
Mulder moved, at last, tiredly. Suddenly aware of how long he’d been
on his feet. How long since he’d slept. How long since
he'd felt the sleepy, boneless weight of good sex.
As he reached for the towels, Skinner was there, against him. He said
gruffly, "I’ll do it," and pushed Mulder's hands away.
Stroked him with the rough paper, wiping away the traces of their passion,
from him and the wall. Skinner held him against his
chest he rearranged his clothes, their hands bumping together, faces
touching.
Mulder shivered as Skinner tucked his shirt into place. He laughed softly.
"I’ve been undressed before. I don’t think anybody’s
ever dressed me."
Skinner’s expression, what he could see of it from the side, was carefully
neutral. But his hands weren’t. His hands were gentle
and intimate and warm, smoothing Mulder's shirt down and his trousers
up, fastening them. Skinner stroked his cheekbone,
touching a place no bigger than a quarter with just his thumb. A gentle
circular caress, over and over, and his face didn’t really
seem so much neutral as quiet. Relaxed. Satiated.
Warm, soft pad of Skinner’s thumb, stroking his cheekbone gently, massaging
it, and Mulder started to shiver. A cool, shivery
tingling all over his skin. Between his legs. He sighed gustily.
Skinner held him as he shook. Let the slow circle of his fingers grow
larger until his hands encompassed Mulder, stroking his
face in widening circles until he'd mapped Mulder's chest and his belly
and his ribs and his softened cock with a light touch.
Skinner pressed his lips to his ear and whispered, so softly Mulder
almost didn’t understand. Wasn’t sure he had understood,
except the words were so familiar.
Then Skinner pulled away, barely opening the door as he cautiously let himself out.
Left Mulder standing there alone in the small, gray room. Left him with
only the echo of hands memorizing his body and a sad,
sweet, ambiguous whisper teasing his mind.
"Remember who you can trust."
He reached up and touched the spot on his cheekbone that simmered and
tingled as if Skinner’s thumb had drawn blood up to
the surface. Imprinted on his face was the woven texture of the wallpaper.
The End