FORGIVENESS

Through the closed door Daniel could smell candles burning, even imagined he could feel the accumulated heat of so many of them wafting through the very surface of it. Just as clearly he could imagine Teal'c kneeling in mediation on the other side. Too clearly, and he shuddered fractionally at the disquieting notion that he was still trapped within his own mind in the reality he and Shaa're created in the seconds before her death.

Pushing the thought away with a determination his teammates were only beginning to fathom, Daniel reached hesitantly for the door and eased it open. Unable to look at the occupant of the room, he nervously slid inside, closing and leaning back on it, trying to find the strength to begin. Apparently unperturbed by his appearance, or perhaps expecting it, Teal'c didn't move or speak, but waited with uncanny patience that didn't help Daniel's courage at all.

With an enormous effort the linguist dragged his eyes up from the floor and *looked* at Teal'c, trying hard to see who was before him, and not the false memory that nagged at him. On the surface, the two were the same. Features serene and schooled, body that was held perfectly motionless and calm, the Jaffa gave every impression of being at peace with himself and the universe.

That was how Daniel had always seen the warrior - as being sure of himself, his decisions, his beliefs. It was no surprise to him that the Teal'c of his own creation had not once expressed any doubt that he had done the right thing in killing Amonhet, only regret that he had hurt Daniel in doing so. But though he, Jack, Sam and everybody else had acted by the mental image Daniel had of them, behaved as he would have expected in the circumstances he had conjured, it didn't mean that was how his friends and colleagues would have in truth.

If nothing else, he couldn't believe that Jack, given any choice in the matter whatsoever, would ever confess that extremely smart people intimidated him.

That thought brought up a faint smile and released him from his stasis. He quietly crossed the floor to sit cross-legged in front of Teal'c, having no difficulty now in seeing the faint lines of pain around the closed eyes or full lips. Or sensing that his friend was braced for blows, either verbal or physical. With another pang of loss, Daniel silently thanked his wife for forcing him to accept Teal'c's role in her loss before he had done or said in actuality any of the hurtful things he'd done within the confines of his skull.

He had no doubt that the Jaffa would have shouldered the burden of them as stoically in real life as he had in fantasy. But Teal'c already carried his own pains and losses; he didn't need any more heaped on him because he had chosen to save the life of a teammate over that of a Ga'ould Queen. Teal'c had done the right thing.

Unaware that he had murmured that out loud, Daniel was caught off guard when the big man opposite him asked softly, "Did I?"

For all the agony in it, the answer came quickly. "Yes. I think ... I think Shaa're would have rather died herself that be the instrument of my death, just as I would have. There was time and opportunity for me to shoot, Teal'c. I couldn't."

Eyes opening for the first time, showing his sorrow without shame, Teal'c said, "I do not know if I could have, had I been in your place DanielJackson."

"I hope to God that you never are!" Daniel burst out, grief and regret roaring through him unexpectedly. "Bad enough that you were forced to do what you did. No one should ever have to make a choice like that. I could have hated you for it, Teal'c. At times, at times..." He choked off the words before they could spill and hung his head, ashamed he hadn't recovered as much as he thought he had.

"At times you do regardless," the Jaffa finished for him, somehow retreating behind a wall of reserve without ever changing the inflection in his words.

Head shooting up, Daniel stared at him, lips moving soundlessly in denial. "No," he finally managed to sputter. "No. At times I wish you had chosen the other way. To have let me die instead of her."

"I could not..." To his amazement, Teal'c's voice stumbled, but he steadied it instantly. "Have done that."

For one long moment Daniel gaped at him, then he did what he had wanted to do the last time he had sat in this spot, imaginary as that had been. He flung himself across the small space between them, arms going around Teal'c's waist, face burrowing into the curve of the big man's shoulder. "Couldn't hate you," he mumbled, suddenly aware of why Shaa're had been so insistent that there be peace between him and the Jaffa. "Oh, oh, oh. Couldn't!"

Tears that hadn't been shed, that he had fought off for reasons he didn't understand himself, began to slowly well up. Massive arms rose to enfold him, one hand cupping the back of his head, cradling it as if he were a child. That was too much for Daniel's already overtaxed emotions. His quiet weeping became chest-wracking sobs that threatened to rip him apart.

Teal'c's generous strength held him together, held him tightly, rocking them both ever so slightly as he did. A distant, dim memory surfaced of his father doing the same thing to him when he was small, comforting Daniel as much as his friend's embrace. Clinging to the rock steady man, he released a handful of the sorrow weighing him down, freed by Teal'c's show of trust and intimacy.

In time, unable to sustain the energy he was sensibly squandering on crying, Daniel wound down to snuffles and hiccups, resting against his companion in nearly infantile mindlessness. But he was no longer a youngster who could innocently accept the warmth of another person. He was an adult male, long deprived of most intimate human contact. His manhood began to rise, responding not only to the nearness of another person, but to the animal instinct to rut, to mate and replace the life mourned.

Too wrapped up in his turmoil to truly notice, Daniel undulated into the body pressed close to his, bringing himself to full hardness. Blindly he began to suckle and nip at the velvet smooth skin, working his way to Teal'c's full lips.

Before he could claim them, the Jaffa whispered, "DanielJackson." He got no further before the linguist slipped past his half-opened mouth, robbing him of both speech and thought.

It was a gentle kiss at first, a tentative introduction of taste and texture. Then Daniel sighed brokenly, and it grew fierce and demanding, the intensity with which he writhed against Teal'c growing as well. Ending the caress only because he worried about passing out if he didn't take a decent breath, he pulled far enough away to look the big man in the face. "Teal'c?"

"It is not within me to deny you." Teal'c answered the underlying question solemnly.

"I'll feel guilty about that later," Daniel admitted regretfully. "For now..." He lifted his face, offering it up to meet his lover's halfway.

This time it was Teal'c who unleashed his hunger, and the sheer amount of it made Daniel shake with want. Lowering him to the meditation mat as they kissed, the warrior covered him, making Daniel cry out wordlessly from the erotic impact of the weight pinning him to the floor. A deeper, throatier sound mixed with his, combining into a desperate noise that spurred him into whimpering as well.

Teal'c tugged at his shirt, and, helping as much as he could without leaving his sanctuary under the Jaffa, he was soon naked and reveling in the glory of his lover's unclothed beauty. Trying to touch all of it, all at once, he wrapped arms and legs around Teal'c, rocking into him frantically. The first shock of skin to skin was half hidden in that urgency, but when cock brushed over cock for the first time, Daniel stiffened, moaning loudly.

Muttering in his own language, Teal'c captured the smaller man's tossing head between his palms, going very still himself.

"I can't wait!" Daniel panted. "Oh, gods! Teal'c! Please!" With a parting bite to the heel of one of the Jaffa's hands, he squirmed over onto his stomach, deliberately rubbing against his lover as much as possible. Loving the feel of Teal'c solidly on top of him, Daniel stayed flat on his stomach, only raising his hips enough to make his wishes blatant.

A sharply in-drawn breath signaled his lover's understanding of his unspoken request, then Teal'c lifted enough to carefully probe at the portal to Daniel's body with a single finger. It felt larger than some cocks the younger man had had, but the unstoppable desire commanding him didn't have a problem with that. Willingly he relaxed, taking the digit easily despite the lack of lube. Involuntarily he clenched around it, making the finger seem larger, and he groaned in pleasure at the fullness.

"Daniel!!!" It was a warning, and the underlying lust in it was as arousing as the gentle exploration of his opening. There was an odd motion from his lover; he glanced over his shoulder in time to see Teal'c retrieve a small vial of oil from a box under the bed.

"Oh, hurry! Hurry Teal'c!" Another finger, well slicked, joined the first to work on stretching him wide, and he backed into it eagerly. "Yes, yes, yes."

"So hungry," Teal'c murmured. "And so beautiful in that hunger." He bent and nipped a shoulder blade as he stretched out full length over Daniel. Burrowing his forearms under the smaller man, he put most of his weight on them, his maleness burning a long line along Daniel's cleft.

A moment later the blunt head of it nudged at his pucker, and Daniel sucked in a huge breath, letting it go gradually as he was breached. It had been a long, long time since he'd loved in this way, and it hurt to be entered - a burning, aching hurt that quickly transmuted to a wonderful fullness. He couldn't hold back a hissed curse at the initial discomfort, and Teal'c stopped completely, with only a stifled groan to show his frustration.

"I'm alright," Daniel assured him breathlessly and tried to buck up to encourage his lover. Tried was all he could do, though. Much as he loved the secure and wanted feeling he got from being under Teal'c, it had the drawback of rendering him nearly incapable of moving. "Please!" he added, and squeezed his internal muscles to persuade his warrior that way.

"Yes," was all the Jaffa said, and he began to thrust slowly and steadily, forcing out a small grunt of pleasure out of Daniel with each one.

Much as he wanted it hard and fast, Teal'c's measured pace was far better than Daniel expected. With each drive into him, a knot of ecstasy expanded in his gut until he was consumed by it, by the large cock using him, by the unstoppable necessity of climaxing. He scrabbled at the mat, finding Teal'c's hands by accident, and locked his own onto them. "OH! Good! Good!"

"More than good," Teal'c answered, picking up his pace slightly. "Much more!"

"Show me how much more! Want it Teal'c. Want it hard, please!" Tightening his grip until he distantly thought his fingers might break, he tried again to rear up and take his lover more deeply.

"Soon, soon," Teal'c promised, his rich voice heavy with desire. "Savor this," and he pushed into Daniel with more force, but not as much as the younger man craved, "As I savor how wantonly you accept me inside you, savor how sweetly your flesh responds to me."

"Oh!" His lover's words and tone were as exciting as the sure fucking he was taking, and Daniel spun away into a sensual universe where only he and Teal'c existed. Where only the hardness using him and his own steely length digging violently into the mat mattered.

It wasn't until the first jerk of his orgasm burst the enormous bubble of ecstasy inside Daniel that Teal'c surrendered to base need and released his passion. Taking his lover with full power and speed, Teal'c pounded into him, amplifying the explosion rocketing through Daniel. Too overwhelmed to even scream, the linguist quaked and shuddered, his seed flowing out to cover his stomach.

At the very edge of his awareness he heard a low roar from Teal'c, felt a flood of wet heat wash inside him.

As the last quiver weakened his body, the weight on him increased as Teal'c collapsed, unable to support himself in the throes of his finish. It was an added luxury, and Daniel tucked his own arms under his chest enough that he could breathe. "Daniel," Teal'c whispered, sounding as if he were already half-asleep. "Daniel."

"Shh, lover. Shh. Rest," the younger man whispered back. Grief would be still be waiting for them when they woke, and so would the stargate, the team, and Ga'ould. For now they had a moment of peace and contentment, and it was too rare and precious not to wallow in it while they could.

Not exactly sleeping, Daniel listened to the rhythmic whoosh of Teal'c's breathing, finding the rise and fall of the chest pressed into his back nearly hypnotic. When the door opened, he half-stirred, aware but not able to react, and certainly unable to panic, though the survivor part of him harped that being found obviously well screwed while on a military base was not a good thing.

Shoes walked into his line of sight, and he reached for alertness, only to let it go with a hidden sigh as Jack knelt down beside he and Teal'c. Their commander's face was relieved - and understanding. O'Neill laid a hand on the Jaffa's head, almost in benediction, then brushed his fingers over a cheek affectionately. "Thank god," Jack murmured.

Then he repeated his actions, this time touching Daniel lightly, brushing his hair to one side and stroking his jawline. "He did do the right thing, Daniel. He did exactly what I would have done, what I would have *wanted* him to do if the choice had been mine." Jack leaned over, reaching for the bed, then dropped a blanket over them. "Don't ever doubt it." Tucking the edges around them, he repeated, "Don’t ever doubt it."

finis