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The Triple Agent Who Came in from the Cold Book 1; Part 7 By: J Morningstar Feedback? Please: julie_morningstar@yahoo.com Rating: NC-17 Warning: Includes explicit sex, including male/male sex. Date: 11/30/2002 Summary: This is a world where John Doggett does not yet exist. Post-Requiem. Post-colonization. Archive: DitB, Bald Heaven, others, please ask first Beta Thanks: Peach, Amazon, & Josan. My betas are excellent, kind and true. Any mistakes you find are due to my last minute fiddling and fixing, like a mother who can't let her child out the door without one last spit-cleaning. See part 1 for disclaimer and longer summary. Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 can be found at my fiction page: www.squidge.org/~xchick/julie/
Disclaimer: The characters of Skinner, Krycek, and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright Infringement is intended no money is being made. Notes: Lyrics quoted from "Keeping the Faith" by Billy Joel. Used without permission. Poem "Stars" by Sara Teasdale used without permission. Finally – A big thank you to the wonderful men and women on the Skinner/Krycek list who always answer my obscure requests for information, and who have created an atmosphere of support, inspiration, and fun.
Chapter 7 ******************* Walter Skinner was a man who knew the value of setting goals. In the first aimless days after making the long journey from Saigon to SeaTac to home, he felt as though he would suffocate from feelings of hopelessness. When he realized that deciding on one or two tasks each day and successfully completing them kept the despair as bay, he systematically developed a list of chores to structure his days and give him the feeling of having some control. In the beginning, it had been as simple as getting up at the same time each day and taking a shower. Over time, he was able to add to his list till he found a workable solution for his life, until finally, he was able to return to school and apply to the academy. He used those lessons he learned upon returning as an unwelcome veteran of an unpopular war to find balance and give purpose to his existence. They aided him throughout the rest of his life, especially during the particularly stressful stretches. In this new world where he lived with Dana Scully and Alexander Krycek, he found dealing with life one day at a time was the only way to get up each morning. If he allowed himself to think about the bigger picture - that life as he knew it was utterly gone - he would lose his mind. So he learned, as a coping mechanism, to focus on the minutiae of small details needed to support their life. He couldn't control what happened to the rest of the world. But he could bring order, structure and a sense of ownership to his small mountain-top world. So to the growing list of tasks he kept in his head, he added one more: sex with Alex Krycek. For Walter, it had been too so long since sexual gratification included another person. It had been too long since he'd felt sexual, period. In the first months after the invasion and the plague, all his energy was focused on getting Dana Scully to safety and keeping himself alive to watch over her. When they finally found the cabin, that bout with pneumonia further undermined his energy. Even morning erections were rare and fleeting.
Until... Until his fight with Alex in the barn. When he realized he was hard, he wondered what kind of a sick fuck he'd become, popping a boner while beating on someone. Then he felt Alex's erection and he stopped thinking. He remembered the feeling of coming in Alex's mouth. The memories would surface at the most inconvenient times and he'd have to tip his head to hide a flush of desire or stay seated until his erection softened. In the first days after their encounter in the barn, he'd carried the feeling of immense satisfaction from having the raven-haired spy figuratively on his knees. Then he began to realize how gratifying it had been to make Alex whimper with need, then come apart as he brought him to completion. A couple of lines from a song ran through his head: "I thought I was the Duke of Earl when I made it with a red-haired girl in the Chevrolet." The details were different, but the feeling Billy Joel described was exactly what Walter experienced. He caught himself humming the tune under his breath while he toiled in his workshop. Soon, the memories weren't enough. He wanted that feeling again. He needed that feeling again. He went to bed each night and woke each morning with a yearning in his belly for another taste of what he and Alex shared in the barn. Right after their encounter, he avoided of the younger man. He timed his trips to his workshop at times when Alex was finished with the animals. He told himself it could never happen again. Once before, he ignored an overwhelming attraction for Alex Krycek because he knew it was bad for him. He could ignore the itch again, Or be satisfied with scratching it himself. But lust whispered in his ear - why not? Why not indulge? He had no career to protect. And he'd given up on the idea of feeling guilty over sex with a man in Vietnam. So why deny himself? Only two things really stood in his way. One was his concern over how Dana would react if she found out. Would she feel betrayed? Alone and unneeded? A third wheel? Or would she be disgusted by the idea of two men together? His gut told him that Dana Scully was one of the most just and tolerant people he knew. But she was the daughter of a career military man. The military had a long history of intolerance toward homosexual relationships. Who knew what Captain Scully's prejudices were and what he might have instilled in his young daughter's psyche? The second was the question of Alex himself. Did Alex feel the same hunger for an encore that he did? Although their encounter had been rather vanilla, it was still undeniably gratifying. But he longed to explore further territory and wondered if maybe, Alex did too. On the surface, the triple-agent seemed unaffected by their encounter; almost as though it never happened. His indifference was nearly enough to convince Walter to give up. But he was very much aware that Alex Krycek was a trained operative, as wily at maintaining a poker-face as any high-stakes roller. And Walter Skinner had undergone training of his own. His skills at reading people, though rusty, were formidable. Alex was an enigma but with the right information, even his fathomless code could be broken and read. With this in mind, Walter began his reconnaissance. He included Alex in his discussions with Dana. Sought him out during chores just to shoot the breeze. He asked his opinion and looked him in the eye. Smiled at him. He invaded the younger man's personal space and observed his reaction, cataloging every twitch, facial expression, even the rate and quality of his respirations. Sometimes he allowed himself to brush against the other man in the kitchen. He might lay a hand on Alex's shoulder as he walked past him in the living room. Once, when they were out hiking, he offered a hand to Alex and pulled him up to stand next to him on a small ledge. He held his hand longer than necessary and was elated to see how it flustered the former spy. During his time alone, he analyzed Alex's reactions. All in all, he was pleased with the intelligence he was gathering. Alex was clearly not indifferent. He might even go as far to say that the other man was susceptible, but trying to combat it. It was time to change his mission and tactics from information gathering to an all out assault - beguilement and capture. Alex's palisades were towering and fortified. But someone with the right weaponry could breach his defenses. It was while he was working on the housing for the hydrogenerator battery that it occurred to him that what he was trying to do was more than just trying to get in someone's pants. It was more than just cajoling a fuck-buddy. What he was doing was full-scale seduction. The seduction of Alex Krycek. The thought flashed into his consciousness during the upswing of a hammer stroke and so confounded him that he flinched. The head of the hammer missed its mark and instead crushed his thumb and index finger. It was Alex who found him, cursing and trying to staunch the flow of blood with the tail of his shirt. Alex had paled when he pulled away Walter's other hand and saw the gory appendages. He quickly dragged a protesting Walter to cabin where Dana could ply her skills. Although the wound wasn't serious, it did keep Skinner out of the shop for several days. At first he was frustrated at the delay this caused in getting the hydrogenerator up and running. He wanted a reliable source of power before winter. Then, he noticed the change in Alex's manner. For his part, Alex had reacted to Walter's curious behavior with a skepticism bordering on distrust, which settled into a wary and tentative response. But after seeing his wounded and bleeding hand, something seemed to give in his attitude. He relaxed his guard; alert caution was replaced by concern. Over the next few days Walter found, to his great surprise, that his efforts at seduction paid off in a manner he could not have imagined. Because Alex was someone he was beginning to truly like. He enjoyed his company, his sly wit, and tart observations. In attempting to seduce a lover, he had found an intriguing companion. The mellowed atmosphere between Walter and Alex affected Dana too. She allowed herself to be playful. Here, there was no male hierarchy she needed to impress; no double standard to she had to fight. Just two men that she liked. Although Walter enjoyed spending time in the cabin watching Dana experiment with milk products and studying Alex, he chaffed at enforced delay that derailed his rigid time table. So Alex and Dana prowled through Mulder's books to find him something to keep Walter busy. "You know, things will only get worse as it gets colder," Alex commented. At Dana's puzzled look he continued. "We need to find things to keep us busy this winter or we'll go stir crazy." That notion led them to the books they choose to carry to the living room to peruse further. How-to books on basket weaving and willow furniture were interspersed with field guides to North Carolina medicinal and edible plants. While Skinner's hand healed, they planned a trip down the mountain to harvest what they could in the milder valley climate. For her part, Dana was thrilled. Weeks earlier, as she had grown more interested in her surroundings, she had cast a critical eye over their home and found it wanting. She began to explore the mountain, bringing back bits and pieces to add interest to the cabin. But much of the plant life she wanted had died in the early winter storm. So on the next fine day, their regular schedule was ignored. Early that morning, after the cows were milked and other livestock fed and watered, Alex, Dana and Walter mounted saddled horses and headed for the base of the mountain. Alex, who knew the mountain best, led the others down a deer path he had found during the summer months. It was a perfect autumn day; the kind that makes one pity those who live in the tropics and never experience the change of seasons. The air was crisp and clear, the mountain foliage so brilliantly colored in reds and oranges and yellows it made them catch their breath. Their progress was slow and careful. They had to dismount several times to lead the horses by hand through steep terrain. After a couple of hours they stopped by a stream to allow the horses to slake their thirst. Dana lay back on the hillside, enjoying the scenery. She turned to Walter and remarked, in a dreamy voice, "I wonder why the sky seems to different here on Krycek's mountain." Skinner's eyebrows rose, but it was Alex who answered her. "Krycek's mountain? It's Mulder's mountain too." "Yes, but Mulder never wanted this." Her voice was wistful as she gestured around her. "He wanted the truth. No matter the cost. He would not have been content here." "Maybe he could have been content. If he'd found his sister." Dane sat up and looked at Alex. "But he couldn't have found her. She died years ago." He lifted an eyebrow at her. "Do you believe everything they want you to believe?" "They?" She questioned. He pulled a face at her. "What are you saying, Alex? Samantha is dead. Mulder finally found out the truth about what happened to her." When he didn't answer, she continued. "Are you trying to say she's alive?" Alex shrugged, and she snapped at him. "Don't you dare do that. Exactly what do you know about Samantha?" "I don't know. I don't know anything 'exactly'. But I know about Mulder's supposed revelation. I know about the 'walk-ins' and Harold Piller and Samantha's diary. It's exactly the kind of scam the consortium would set up. The whole story is suspect, especially the part about Samantha living as Spender's daughter." "How do you know about all that?" "How do you think?" "Mulder?" "Of course, Mulder. Who else?" She frowned and Alex thought she looked hurt. "But why? Why did he tell you so much when he acted like he hated you and keep so much from me when we were so close? I thought I was his friend. His best friend." "Hell, Dana. Mulder and I weren't friends. Not even close." "But you were something to each other." "We shared a history. We were both son's of the consortium. We became...comrades. Out of necessity. We both hated Spender and the rest of the old men. Hated how they were selling out the human race to save themselves. Hated their cowardice. The way they were willing to roll over instead of standing and fighting." Skinner finally spoke. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend?" "Exactly. And we both lost a sibling to the cause. When Mulder came to understand that we were on the same side, we called a truce. And Dana, if he told me things he didn't tell you it's because he knew I wouldn't doubt him. I knew the things he said were true, no matter how fantastic they sounded. I knew what he said and believed were true because I had seen it all with my own eyes." She still looked troubled, so he tried again. "Scully, you were the one who kept him grounded. I was just there when he needed to vent to someone who wouldn't think he was crazy." She was quiet for a while, then asked, "If you knew Samantha was alive, why didn't you tell him?" "Because I knew I could never produce her for him. I knew if I tried to tell him but couldn't back it up with facts - with a living and breathing Samantha - he'd never believe me again." "So you let him suffer." Walter interjected. "Dana, that's unfair. Alex didn't take Samantha." "I know. It just seems, somehow, if he knew, he could have found a way." "God Scully. Don't you think I tried? And not just for him? I lost a brother too. Why do you think I continued to work for those bastards once I was old enough to get away? Mulder thought he could find his sister - his truth - working from the outside. I was already in, Spender took care of that when he killed my parents. But I stayed in because I knew it was the best way to find Dmitrii. And maybe, just maybe, I'd find Samantha too." She buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry Alex. I just…feel so angry sometimes." "And you take it out on me." His voice was flat. "No. I didn't mean..." She began. "That's okay, Scully. I'm used to being a Mulder's whipping boy. Why not yours too?" "Alex, it's not..." He interrupted her. "Forget it, Scully. It doesn't matter." He turned and walked toward the horses, calling over his shoulder. "We need to get a move on. Let's go." It was a quiet group that mounted up and continued down the mountain. Dana, for all her cool self-possession, had a warm heart. She didn't like to cause anyone pain. She knew she'd hurt Alex, but was unsure of how to make it right. At one point, Walter leaned over and murmured that she should give him a little time to cool off. Alex might have a quick temper, but he regained his composure quickly. For his part, Walter pondered over what he just learned. It never occurred to him that Alex had lost a brother in the same way that Mulder had lost Samantha. He wondered what he would do for the sake of love. To find or protect someone he loved. It made him view Alex's actions with a different perspective. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ At eleven, it was decided that they had gone as far as they should. They needed to forage and gather, then pack the travois and return to the cabin by sundown. And the return trip would take longer with two full loads. So after a quick lunch along the banks of a small pond, they set to work. Dana had a list of items she wanted to gather for the house, and set off towards a small glen west of the pond. Her first priority was to gather items for a terrarium. The sight of Mulder's empty aquarium left a hollow spot in the pit of her stomach. So she decided to create a terrarium like her grandmother had when she and Melissa were young girls. The two had spent hours with their noses pressed to the glass of the miniature world, imaging a place populated with tiny fairies and other wee folk. She collected club moss, ground and running pine, three kinds of ferns whose names she did not know, lichen and seedling yews and hemlock. Interesting rocks in a variety of colors and Spanish moss would landscape the tiny plants. She also collected items to decorate their home. Pine cones and fallen branches twisted in interesting driftwood patterns were gathered along with dried grasses and ornamental flowers that could be hung upside down to dry. Yarrow and Gypsophila, straw flowers, heather and lavender were carefully cut and wrapped and would be arranged with pampas grass and miscanthus. There was astilbe and statice to fashion into wreaths and swags. In Mulder's loot she had found colorful fabric - turkey red and rich Federal blue. Over the long winter she would stitch table runners and curtains and throw pillows to add interest and warmth to their mountain home. While Dana was in the glade, Skinner and Krycek moved the far end of the pond. Alex was calling out a direction to Walter when he looked up to find the other man staring at him intently. "What?" he asked. "She didn't mean it you know." Walter's voice was steady, his gaze direct. "Of course she didn't mean it. Just like she won't mean it the next time she remembers who I am. Just like you won't mean it the next time you freeze me out or take a swing at me." "Now who's being unfair?" Alex shrugged. "I call them as I see them." "Don't take it so personally. You're not the only one she's turned on. It's not like you're being singled out." Alex looked at him quizzically. "I've felt the sharp edge of her tongue. Hell, she even pulled a gun on me once." "She what?" "She pulled a gun on me. One time, a while ago, when she thought I was a threat to Mulder." "Holy shit." His voice was full of wonder. "Yeah. Protecting Mulder can bring out the mama lion in Scully." Walter smiled. "It wasn't you, Alex. It was the thought that someone, anyone, not helping Mulder." "She pulled a gun on you?" He repeated it, as though he couldn't believe it, a small smile playing about his mouth." Walter smiled too, happy that his words were affective. Then his smile faded and he looked away. He finally looked back and the expression in his eyes was bleak. "Do you know what's wrong with Dana's baby?" It took Alex a moment to adjust to the sudden change of topic. He responded in a careful voice. "Why do you think something's wrong?" "I lifted her on and off the horse several times this morning. On the way here, I had to lift her more than once. That was six weeks ago, and her belly doesn't feel any larger. I had been wondering, looking at her...it didn't seem as though the baby was growing. But I convinced myself that it was just the baggy clothing. But today?" He shook his head. "Her baby isn't growing. I'm sure of it." Alex looked away. "What?" Skinner demanded. "What do you know?" "Specifically? Nothing. In general?" He shrugged. "I know those bastards weren't afraid to play God with people's lives. I know they had several projects that included using human women as incubators. Trying to develop hybrids." He paused. "I've seen this pattern before. Everything is fine the first four, five months, then the - products of conception - that was the term they used - the products of conception would stop developing." "Do you think that's happening here?" Walter looked ill. "Do you think the baby is...?" Alex shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I just thought..." "What?" "I didn't think she was fertile." "No, she wasn't. She was trying some new fertility treatment. There was an egg donor. Mulder told me he was acting as the sperm donor." Now Walter paused. "But according to Mulder, it hadn't worked. She didn't get pregnant with the treatment." Walter frowned, remembering. "It was right after he was taken that we found out she was, in fact, pregnant." "So what happened? How did she get pregnant?" "Christ, I don't know! You tell me. You were part of that mess." Alex scowled at him. "Not me Skinner. I was just a peon. Do you think I would have allowed that to happen to her, had I known anything at all?" "You allowed them to kidnap her." "First of all, someone like me doesn't 'allow' them to do anything. They do what they want and you try your hardest to throw a monkey wrench in their plans and hope to hell they don't trace it back to you. Secondly, their first plan for Scully was to kill her outright! Would you have preferred that?" "It made her sterile." "It kept her alive." Their voices had risen. They were breathing hard, staring at each other. Finally, Walter exhaled a long breath, then spoke. "I'm sorry. I just..." He ran a hand over his head. "I don't understand why you did some of the things you did." Alex looked away from him for long moments, his mouth tight. He turned back to the other man and spoke. "Let me ask you something, Skinner. When you were in Vietnam, did you ever do something that you would never have dreamed of doing before the war? Something you'd never want your mother, or your wife, or even your friends to know about?" Walter slowly nodded. "Yeah, maybe. So?" "For the last ten years, I've been at war. It was a covert war, run a clandestine government. Despite that fact the Mulder has been trying to tell about it for the last five years, you just woke up to the fact a few months ago. Your obliviousness didn't make it any less real for those of us in the middle of the fight. It didn't make the things we had to do any easier." Alex paused. "Mulder knew, he understood. That's why, despite everything, the two of us were able to find a way to build this place. You did things in Viet Nam, things you'll carry to your grave. I've done the same. As much as you want to hate and despise me for the things I've done, or what you think I've done, you don't hold the moral high ground here." Walter started to speak, but Alex raised a hand to stay his words. "I'm not judging you Skinner. I'm just asking you to cut me some slack. Try to judge me with the same standard you wanted people to judge you with when you came back from Viet Nam. People called you guys baby-killers then. Didn't you want to tell them that it wasn't like that? Didn't you want to scream that they couldn't know what it was like unless they'd been there?" He gave Skinner another long look before adding, "After all, when it comes right down to it, there really only one big difference between us." At Skinner's questioning glance, he continued. "You volunteered for your war when you were eighteen, old enough to make your own choices. I was conscripted against my will when I was little more than a child." There was nothing Walter could say in response to that. But his head was spinning. His mind drifted back three decades, to the heat of a Southeast Asian jungle, and the war he fought there, both the undeclared conflict and his own personal battles. He wasn't proud of many of the things he'd done there, but it was war. The old rules, the ethic for living his parents indoctrinated in him - none of that mattered in the jungle. He had always said that Alex had played by his own rules. In that instant, he realized why. And he could finally see that Alex had risked himself over and over to keep Mulder safe, to keep Scully safe. He wondered about the nanocytes. For the first time, it occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, the plan had been for him to die by nanocytes poisoning. Had Alex some how changed those plans? And at what price? For years, there had been a small corner of his mind cordoned off for Alex Krycek. He kept a tight lid on it, knowing that he could barely control his thoughts or actions when it came to the other man, particularly when he remembered the nanocytes and a palm pilot held in a leather-gloved hand. But now he wondered if his self-imposed prohibition against thinking about Krycek and their interactions kept him from developing any kind of perspective. Perhaps there was another side to the story. A side that could open him to the idea of forgiveness. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ They worked quietly and efficiently. Dozens of willow branches were harvested and cut to precise lengths. Walter planned on making a variety of furniture, including a rocker for Dana and Adirondack chairs for the front porch. One end of the pond where they had picnicked was wetland. From there they gathered bundles of reeds and bull rushes, which, along with smaller willow branches could be woven into baskets. Skinner cut branches from basswood, red cedar, and sugar and white pine trees. It was good wood for whittling and he looked forward to hours of enjoyment, as well hoping to create useful implements. A small pine was dug, it's root ball carefully wrapped. Ferns and other foliage plants were uprooted with the hope they would grow once planted into clay pots in the cabin. They found several nut trees and gleaned pecans, walnuts and almond. Ramps and wild ginseng were identified from a field book on native Appalachian species. A book on wild crafting taught them about wintergreen, witch hazel, and wild yams. Blackberries, buckeyes, sassafras and pleurisy root were harvested and carefully packed. Alex's self-appointed job was to organize and pack the travois. He laid out the branches and bundles and bags. And found time to collect more tiny pebbles for his own collection. By three, he had arranged their plunder and convinced the other two that they had collected *enough*. They made their way slowly up the mountain as the light faded from the western sky. Several times, Alex found Scully's worried gaze resting on him. And when they stopped to rest, she was particularly solicitous of him, offering him water and snack of nuts. He realized that she was anxious to make amends and the thought astonished him. As he helped her to her feet, he slipped off his glove and ran a knuckle down her cheek. He smiled down at her, trying to let her know without words that he wasn't angry. She gazed up at him, blinking rapidly, then grabbed his hand and pressed it against her face, before turning into it and kissing his palm. Walter held back, watching the small drama from a distance. When Dana stepped away from Alex, he moved forward to help her onto her horse, and as he passed by a bemused Alex, he whispered, in a soft voice. "I told you so." ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Despite the sharp words and tense discussions, Alex enjoyed their field trip to an extent that made him a little nervous. Spending the day with the other two had been pure joy. The three of them worked well together. He enjoyed watching Walter's mind work as he sorted through various issues. And Dana's thoroughness was fascinating to observe. He envied Mulder his years with her. He wanted to believe that their relationship would continue to grow and improve. But experience had taught him to be wary. Each time he thought that life might throw him a bone, it seemed to delight in snatching it away. He knew better than to be complacent about his place in their small community. He often pondered this and his precarious situation as he did chores. He had just finished grooming the horses, when he realized he wasn't alone in the barn. He looked up to find Walter watching him with a serious expression on his face and he felt his stomach drop. "Krycek. You almost done here?" Walter's words and tone were brusque and they put the younger man on guard. Alex leaned against the horse, taking a moment to collect his poise and smooth his expression. Finally he looked up, not quite meeting other man's gaze. "Yeah. Just need to clean up." He said. "I've got something back at the…" Walter began. He seemed to struggle for words. "I'm not sure how to say this." Alex focused on a spot just beyond Walter's head. "Just say it." His voice was flat. "Well, I don't want to presume. If I've overstepped my bounds, just tell me to back off. But," he took a deep breath, "I found your arm - your prosthetic, and I ah, I did some work on it. I'd like you to come in and try it on. See if it works for you." Krycek blinked at him. "What?" "Your arm. I found some epoxy in Mulder's loot. I built a curved clamp to hold the broken edges so I could glue them back together. Then I smoothed the edges. I don't think it will chaff your skin, but I want to be sure." Alex frowned. "You fixed my arm?" "Yeah." Walter smiled at him. "I want you to come try it on." When Alex didn't move, Walter gazed at him searchingly. "Are you okay?" "Yeah. I'm just surprised, I guess." "Okay, then. Come in the house when you're done here." "Yeah. I'll be right in." After the older man left, he leaned against the wall and shook his head. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ They were waiting for him in the kitchen. A grinning Dana, Little A curled in her arms and Walter, who looked cautiously pleased with himself. "You're in on this too, Dana?" "No. Walter just showed me what he did. It's looks pretty good too." She grinned wickedly and added, "And he didn't even use duct tape." Alex, still feeling surprised and uncomfortable with the idea of Walter and Dana examining what was left of his butchered arm, grinned weakly. "Come on, Alex, up here on the table. I need you where I can see." He was startled by Walter's closeness; he looked up into a pair of warm, chocolate brown eyes focusing intently on him. He felt himself flush. "I need you to take your shirt off." Alex nodded jerkily, and pulled it off, refusing to look at either of them. He didn't want to see the look on their faces when they saw what was left of his arm. Walter leaned forward and asked. "You okay?" "Yeah. Just do it." "Okay." He seemed to understand that this wasn't easy for Alex, and he didn't want to prolong his discomfort. He picked up the plastic arm and then leaned over Alex, one hand resting on his shoulder, the other lifting the prosthetic onto the stump. As Walter leaned closer, and Alex found himself inches from his chest. Its breadth seemed endless from this perspective, and he inhaled deeply, trying to control his rapid pulse. He could smell the lingering trace of soap from Walter's morning shower, muted by the man's own masculine scent. He remembered smelling it before, when they had rolled against each other in the hay, and he felt light-headed with desire. He bit his lip, trying to refrain from leaning against Walter's chest, from pressing his lips to the pulse point he could see in the other man's neck. The hand resting on his shoulder dropped to cradle the top of the prosthetic as Walter twisted it gently, trying to fit it just right. His knuckles grazed Alex's chest, and the younger man caught his breath. Walter looked at him then, surprised to see his dilated pupils and the rapid rise and fall of his chest. He saw that Alex's nipples were pebbled, and looked lower to see the tight pull of fabric over his crotch. Walter stepped back, swallowing convulsively. "Try this for a half an hour. Then we'll check your skin for red marks. See if we have to adjust it further." He left the room quickly. Alex slowly let his gaze refocus and realized that he'd been staring at Dana. And that she had been staring back at him. Could she know what he was thinking? He flushed and reached for his shirt. She looked at him and then in the direction Walter had gone. Her expression thoughtful as she walked away. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Alex paced in his room, flexing his prosthetic, trying to get used to way it changed his balance and willing his cock to behave. Finally, he fled to the barn and was dismayed to find Walter already there. He could hear the other man, back in his workroom, puttering around, humming under his breath. Walter heard him and came forward, offering that he was just coming to find him to check the prosthetic. "I can do it," Alex protested. "Really? And how are you going to see the back of your arm?" Giving the other man a peevish look, he studied his boots as he slipped out of his flannel work shirt, pulled off his t-shirt and loosened the straps to the prosthesis. He slipped it off and laid it carefully aside. Walter examined the front of the stump, moving around Alex's side to view the back and underneath. There was a reddened area that concerned him. "I think we need to adjust it a little." he commented. Walter had found some udder balm earlier, and rubbed it over the stump, starting at the back and working his way around to the front. He braced one hand on Alex's shoulder, as the other hand massaged the balm into the skin in long, smooth strokes. Facing Alex, he noted that the other man stood braced, his mouth open slightly, his eyes downcast. He suspected the other man hated this, hated having his scars exposed so openly. As he stared down at the other man's face, his movements slowed, and Alex raised his gaze, looking up at him through thick, spiky lashes. A pink tongue slipped out to moisten his lower lip, his eyelids heavy. The hand on Alex's stump stilled, as Walter's breath caught. The hand on Alex's shoulder moved, fingers trailing across his chest, raising gooseflesh in their wake. He felt Alex shiver and saw him sway on his feet. Walter swallowed and stepped away. Keeping his gaze locked on Alex's, he moved to the workshop, gesturing for the younger man to follow him. Alex grabbed his flannel shirt and slipped it on, then followed Walter, pausing at the door. From there he could see what Walter had been doing, and surprise stopped him dead in his tracks. In the far corner, several bales of hay had been arranged to form a platform. On top of it, a thick sleeping bag was unzipped and opened flat. On top of that were two pillows and some blankets. Alex's eyes grew wide as he pondered the various interpretations of Walter's actions. If he didn't know better, he might think he was he being thrown out of the cabin, consigned to sleep here alone. But he suspected that Walter was thinking of something else. He felt his cock twitch. He moved further into the room, firmly shutting the door behind him, never taking his gaze from the other man's face. Finally, Walter spoke. "The other morning, when we ah…" He gestured to the other part of the building and Alex nodded. He took a deep breath before continuing. "At first, I thought it was just, I don't know." He shrugged, struggling to find the words. "Sometimes there's a fine line between hate and …" He trailed off, then found his voice again. "Other emotions. I've wondered about you. About what you thought about what happened. If you ever thought of it at all." He searched Alex's face intently. "Then earlier, while we were working on your prosthetic, I thought maybe…maybe there was something more." He drew a deep breath and looked directly into the other man's eyes. "If you're not interested, if I've made a mistake, I'll take this stuff," he nodded towards the make-shift bed, "back to the house and we never have to mention it again." He shrugged before continuing. "Maybe I misread what happened just now." Alex moved closer to him. "No, you didn't misread me. I'm…" he swallowed. "Interested." Alex moved again, until he was within a meter of the other man. He gazed intently at Walter before speaking. "Will you meet me half-way?" His voice was low and breathy, and they both knew his question was about more than this encounter. "Yeah." Walter rasped, feeling the tension of the last few hours leave his body. Then he nodded a yes to the other man and closed the distance between them, framing the other man's face with his hands. Leaning forward, he kissed him, gently at first, then with growing urgency, as Alex responded. He pulled away and looked at Alex's mouth, then into his eyes. "Your mouth should be registered as a lethal weapon." Alex's eyes widened, then he smiled. "Yours too," he told Walter. "Yeah?" the other man breathed. "Christ, yes. I haven't come like that since I was a teenager." Walter chuckled. "Same here." He tugged at Alex's hand and implored. "Come lie down with me." Alex shuddered, and whispered "Oh, yeah." He moved to lie on the makeshift bed, urging Walter to follow him. He curled his hand behind Walter's neck and lifted his mouth. "Kiss me again." Walter growled deep in his throat before slanting his lips against Alex's. He pulled at the other man's shirt, pushing it out of the way, then lowering his mouth to nip at the younger man's nipples. "God, I've been wanting to play with these." He licked and pulled at first one, then the other. Once they were hard and aching, he wrapped his lips around one and sucked hard, pulling the flesh into his mouth, working it with his tongue. Alex almost shot off the bed. "Good?" "Christ, yes. Don't stop." "Shhh. Just for a minute. Gotta get these clothes off." He stood and undressed quickly as Alex watched him. "God, you're beautiful." Alex said without thinking. Walter arched an eyebrow at him. "Are you crazy?" "Trust me, Walter. I've been trained to recognize quality." "Shut up and get up here. If you're not going to take those clothes off, I'll do it for you." He was on his feet and pulling his shirt off before Walter could take another breath. The other man pulled him close, rubbing his furry chest against the younger man's smooth skin. One hand slipped down tracing the cleft of his ass. "I want to be in you," he rasped. With one finger he pushed firmly against the seam of Alex's jeans. "Right here." "Wait." Alex pulled back, his expression anxious. "Won't Dana hear us?" Walter leaned down to nibble on Alex's neck. "Not a chance. Remember last week, when I crushed my thumb. I screamed and cursed and neither one of you heard a thing." Alex moaned as Walter found the lobe of his ear and tugged it with his teeth. "What if she can tell we've been..." "What? Fucking like bunnies?" Skinner grinned. "We'll just make sure we destroy the evidence before she sees us. We can wash up out here. I'll wash you." Alex shuddered and groaned, his lips seeking and finding Walter's nipples, nibbling at them with his lips before sucking one into his mouth. Walter fisted his hands in Alex's hair, throwing his head back, feeling the tension build in his balls. He reluctantly pulled Alex away. He lifted his thumb and stroked it along Alex's pink lips, watched as they opened and captured the tip, sucking it into his mouth, playing his tongue over it before sucking on it strongly. "You're playing with fire, Alex," he warned in a hoarse voice. Alex smiled around the thumb in his mouth, his lids falling further over bedroom eyes. He looked, Walter thought, like a fallen angel. Pulling away, he stared into to the other man's face as he lowered the dampened thumb to Alex's nipple, circled it, then pinched it. Alex groaned, tipping his head back and Walter leaned down to capture a small, elfin ear with his mouth and worry it between his teeth. He finally pulled away from him and with trembling hands, stripped the rest of Alex's clothing, before pulling him down. Under one of the pillows, he pulled a tube of lubricant. Alex grinned at him. "More of Mulder's stash?" Walter smiled back, coating his fingers with a generous amount of the clear gel. "Roll over for me." Alex swallowed, a fiery bolt of sensation curling down to his toes. He felt hot and flushed as he turned onto his stomach. His breath came in short little pants and he wondered if he would embarrass himself by hyperventilating. In his head, this act had been forbidden for so long, the thought of finally yielding made him feel giddy and lightheaded with lust. Just the thought of what they were going to do made his balls lift and tingle. Walter traced a hand down his flank and felt the other man tremble. "Are you cold?" Alex shook his head, unable to speak. "Spread you legs for me, Alex. I need to open you up." He did as Walter asked and felt exposed and wanton. He lifted his ass, seeking the other man's touch. "Easy, Alex. I want to take my time with you." Walter traced down the cleft of Alex's ass with one finger, pausing at the tiny knot of muscle, before moving further to stroke the sensitive skin between his balls and asshole. Alex groaned, trembling harder. Walter leaned down to rain kisses over his neck and shoulders, whispering in his ear. He continued to explore Alex's cleft, pausing a little longer each time he reached his hole, holding the blunt tip of one finger against it, feeling it warm and blossom under the gentle pressure. He assumed that it had been a while since Alex had taken anyone up his ass. He didn't want to cause him any pain by rushing him. Besides, he loved the little noises Alex was trying to suppress and hoped this drawn-out ass play would increase their volume and frequency. He focused now on just Alex's hole, circling around it, then dipping just inside it. Finally, he pushed gently, and felt his finger tip breach the opening. Alex cried out in surprise. "Did I hurt you?" Walter asked anxiously. "No. It just feels..." his voice trailed as he struggled to describe this new sensation. "Strange, but good." Walter had frozen, and Alex lifted his hips, trying to push the finger further inside him. "Don't stop," he pleaded. But Walter pulled away and rolled the man over to face him. "Haven't you ever done this before?" Alex shook his head no. "You've never been with a man before?" "No, I mean yes. Yes. Just not like this. Only blow jobs." "So you're a virgin." "Well yeah, when it comes to anal sex." He pulled back, frowning. "Is that a problem?" "Are you sure you want to do this? There are other things we can do with each other." He pulled Walter down to kiss him. "I want to do all of those things. But right now, I want this." Walter pulled him close and kissed him fiercely. Finally Walter pulled back, looking at the other man in wonder. "Why me?" he asked. Alex felt his throat tighten, remembering all the years he had kept the other man under his own private surveillance, realized that this is what it had all been leading to. Honesty was one thing, but he wasn't sure he was ready to expose himself so completely yet. Without thinking, he spoke lightheartedly, "Cause you're the last man on earth?" Walter's eyes widened, then he threw his head back, laughing uproariously, hugging Alex to his chest. Grinning foolishly, Alex tucked himself against the other man, enjoying the sound of his mirth rumbling through his chest. Walter finally pushed away, looking down at his former agent. "Christ Alex, you're one surprise after another." "But in a good way this time, right?" Alex almost cringed as he heard how needy he sounded, but Walter's response reassured him. "Oh yeah," Walter breathed. He ran a hand down Alex's body, raking his naked length with his gaze. "When you're good, you're very good. But when you're bad…" his leaned down to kiss the other man, "you're even better…" Alex laughed at Walter's Mae West imitation. "Don't quit your day job." Walter leaned over and nipped his lip, then pulled back to look at him intently. "No, I mean, why did you wait so long?" The younger man shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I never wanted it before." Walter looked at him thoughtfully, measuring what Alex said, and what he didn't say, before deciding to let it go for the moment. Alex pulled him close and kissed him hard before pulling back to gaze at him. "So, we gonna do this?" Walter nodded, his smile full of promise. "Have you ever done it before?" Alex asked. "What? Let some guy fuck me?" Alex nodded. "Yeah, but it's been a while. Not since 'Nam." "Did you like it?" "God yes. Some people think men were built for anal sex. They have a spot inside, and when a cock strokes it just right, it's like nothing you've ever felt before." Alex swallowed, feeling his balls tighten and his ass clench. He wanted to feel Walter's cock stroke him just like that. He smiled at the other man then kissed him quickly before turning over and wiggling his ass. "If you don't want to get a reputation as a cock tease, Skinner, you'll finish what you started." Walter grinned at him before pulling out the lube and coating his fingers again. He had found a place on Alex's neck that seemed particularly sensitive. He bent to nibble on it as he once again began the process of relaxing Alex. He played with the sensitive flesh in Alex's crack for long moments, before pulling back so he could watch the other man's face for signs of discomfort. He pushed his finger against Alex's hole and breached the opening. The other man's face grew slack, his mouth falling open and the tiny knot of muscle twitched around his finger. He felt Alex work his muscles, twitching around the tip of his finger, and groaned. He imaged those same muscles twitching around his cock and pushed forward until his digit was buried to the first knuckle. "God yes, Walter. Gimme more." He pushed forward and felt Alex's muscles gripping him, pulling him in. He pushed till he could go no further. He pulled back, then pushed in again, fucking Alex slowly with his finger. Alex groaned into his pillow, moving his hips. Walter pulled out then added more lube to his fingers. "I'm going to give you a second finger now. I need you to relax," he coached. "You okay?" Alex nodded, panting carefully as he adjusted to two fingers in his ass. "I'm going to go deeper now," Walter warned. "Do it," Alex grunted, then cried out as Walter turned his hand and stroked him deep. "Dear god, what was that? Do it again." Walter grinned. "That's your prostate, Alex. When I get my cock in you and start thrusting, you'll need to help me make sure I'm angling just right. And when you come, I promise it will be unlike anything you've ever experienced before." "Oh god. Hurry, damn it. I want you in me now." "Just wait, I don't want to hurt you." He pushed in again, finding Alex's prostate, then pulled back before pushing in once more. For long moments, he fucked him that way, till Alex was writhing, begging for his cock. He pulled away and urged Alex to roll on his side so they lay ass to cock. With unsteady hands, he coated himself liberally with lubricant. He fisted the base of his cock with one hand and wrapped his other arm under Alex's chest, pulling him close. "That's it, Alex, relax and let yourself open to me." Alex's eyes widened as he felt something nudge his asshole. Oh god, that was a hell of a lot bigger than Walter's fingers. Walter felt him tense up. "Take a deep breath, that's it. Try to relax while I push into you. It might burn a little, but once the head pops in, the rest will slid in smooth as silk. I promise." Alex did as he was told, and felt himself stretched impossibly. He wondered why the hell he ever thought he wanted this. He gasped, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. But Walter stayed with him, hugging him to his chest, whispering words of encouragement in his ear. He took a deep breath and pushed back, crying out as he felt Walter's plum shaped cock-head press through his opening and push inside. Suddenly the burning subsided, and he felt unbelievably full. It wasn't painful, just different. He could feel Walter behind him, his body hot and sweaty, breathing harshly in his ear. He twitched his ass muscles experimentally. "Christ don't do that or I'll shoot right now." Walter warned. "Just give me a sec, okay?" Alex lifted Walter's hand to his mouth and kissed it, closed his eyes and basked in the feeling of being held by this big gentle man he had dreamed about for so long. He stroked Walter's arm and caught his breath. He felt his hole warm and loosen around Walter's cock. He pushed back against the other man who asked him, "You ready for more?" "Yeah, I want it all." He felt Walter push into him, amazed at the riot of sensations he was feeling as Walter's cock entered him fully, crying out as it brushed his prostate. "God!" "Right there, Alex?" He pulled back and pushed into him again. "God yes, do that again." And Walter did, fucking him slowly, allowing his cock head to drag against Alex's sweet spot, loving the way the younger man cried out and writhed in his arms. He felt the tension build at the base of his spine, and he began to push faster, snapping and rolling his hips. Alex was crying out, "Ah, ah, ah," and without having his cocked touched, he came, spurting ropes of come over his chest and Walter's arm. Walter felt Alex tighten around him, squeezing his cock rhythmically as he came and he drove into the younger man madly, bellowing out as he reached his own orgasm, spurting over and over into that hot, tight channel. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ They returned to the cabin separately. Walter had heated water and washed them both. The sight of Walter soaping his own cock would fuel Alex's fantasies for months to come. That night after supper, he waited until Dana had left the room before lowering himself carefully into his favorite chair. He winced slightly as his ass settled into the upholstery. He looked up to find Walter watching him, his expression concerned. He smiled at the other man, who smiled back at him, before he dropped his gaze to the book in his lap. Alex picked up his own book, and stared at the pages without seeing. Although he was a little sore, he was satiated too. His mind ran over the images and sounds and sensations of the afternoon. He'd never imagined sex with another man could be like that. He shuddered as he recalled the force of his orgasm. And as much as he loved the act itself, and wanted to do it again and again, he came to the conclusion that the best part was what came after. Walter had pulled out of him carefully, then turned him over and pulled him to his chest. He pulled a comforter up over them wrapped his arms around him, occasionally running a hand through his hair or pressing a kiss to his nose or lips. They lay together, sweat cooling, as their pulses slowed and their respirations evened out. Walter found the cross at his neck. He leaned over Alex to study it, then asked him about it. Alex told him a little about his Grandmother. It felt good to share with a man who looked at him with chocolate brown eyes as smooth and deep as velvet. And when Walter asked Alex what they should do about Dana and her baby, Alex answered "be prepared for the worst." Then Walter pulled him close and Alex realized that whatever happened, they were in it together. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ Two nights later, Walter was awakened by someone insistently shaking his arm. He looked up to see Alex bent over him. "Walter, wake up." "What time is it?" "Late, or early, depending on how you look at it. Come on, get dressed. Then grab your pillow and come outside." He lifted himself up to peer at Alex through sleepy eyes. He saw the grin tugging at the other man's mouth, the air of mischief about him and felt a twinge that ran straight to his groin. "Alex, what are you up to?" But Alex was moving around the bed to Dana and was urging her awake with the same words, "Get dressed, grab your pillow and come outside." And then he was gone. Dana looked at Walter, her expression confused. Walter shrugged in response and the two slipped out of bed to pull sweats on over their sleep wear. Walter snagged two pillows and joined Dana in the mud room where they pulled on coats and gloves and hats. The stepped outside where Little A greeted them with excited barking, dancing around their ankles and urging them off the porch to the front lawn where Alex lay on a mounds of sleeping bags. Alex jumped up when he heard the door shut and came forward to take the pillows from Walter's hand. "Dana, you get in the middle. Walter, you take that side. Lay down, flat on your back." Alex got them settled, then pulled a comforter over the three of them." Walter was fusing with it, making sure it covering them all when he heard Dana's gasp. He looked up to finding her pointing toward the sky above. "A shooting star. Look! Another one." she cried. "It must be the Leonids. I'd forgotten about them. Alex, how did you know?" "Little A woke me up. Had to go out. For some darn reason I decided to admire the sky. Looked up and saw three stars fall in row and realized it was mid-November. Decided you two would enjoy the show too." Without looking away from the display above her head, Dana breathed a heartfelt thank-you. "Yes, Alex. Thank you.'" Walter echoed. "I don't think I've seen a sky like this since Vietnam." Alex turned to look at Walter, who was watching him, instead of the sky, a warm smile lighting up his face. "You're welcome." he said. The stared at each other for a long moment, before turning to stare at the wonder above them. For the next hour, the three lay together watching the night sky, keeping each other warm. Mostly silent, but once in a great while exclaiming over a particularly intense display. Finally, they rose and went back to the house, Dana yawning hugely with Little A cuddled in her arms. They shucked their outer wear, and stumbled to the back of the cabin, where Dana turned to hand the dog to Alex. "Naw, he can stay with you. I'm getting up in a bit to milk anyway." He turned abruptly and went into his room." Once in bed, Dana lay on her back looking up at the ceiling, unable to fall off to sleep. Walter, she knew, lay awake on the other side of the mattress. With a sign, she rolled over to look at him, rearranging Little A so he lay next to her. "Walter." "Yes, Dana?" "It's not right that Alex should sleep alone." "What?" "Alex. It's not right that he should sleep alone. Besides, it's silly to heat that bedroom when the three of us could share this one. This bed is plenty big." Walter, who had been wondering how to bring this idea up with Dana, was almost speechless. "Well, won't his getting up early to chore disturb you?" "I'll sleep in the middle. He can slip out of bed and I probably won't even hear him" "What if he doesn't want to share a room? Maybe he likes his privacy at night?" "Then that will be his choice. But I want him to have a choice." Her voice was firm. "He's a proud man. What if he sees it as a pity thing?" "So, we'll wait till the weather breaks. Make it sound like it's the smart thing to do. Close off a room. Save fire wood. Share warmth. What do you think?" "I think you should be the one to bring it up. When the weather breaks." Walter agreed. With that settled she curled up into her pillow, pulled the dog close, and drifted off to sleep. Walter stared at her for a while, bemused, before he too, fell back to sleep. Neither of them could imagine that what finally brought Alex Krycek to their bed would nothing as benign as a cold snap. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ When they finally rose long after dawn had streaked across the eastern sky, Alex was still in the barn, but left behind a note for them to enjoy:
Alone in the night on a dark hill
And a heaven full of stars over my head,
Myriads with beating hearts of fire End Chapter 7
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