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Disclaimer: They are not mine, they are Alliance's, and it makes me cry every night.

Author's Notes: Thanks to the wonderful Sylvia for the transcripts and to Claudia for the beta.

Story Notes: This is part two of a series, but is stands on its own. Takes place immediately after Red, White or Blue. Sap warning

Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: NC-17 for language, slash and m/m graphic relation Series: Close to the Edge
Spoilers: The events narrated here take place immediately after "Red, White or Blue". Acknowledgements: Thanks again to the wonderful Orphan Account for the use of her transcripts. Disclaimer: A 1972 green classic Yes album called Close to the Edge inspired me somewhat, but it was never my intention to take advantage/profit from it. Also, I love these boys as if they were my own, but alas!, they are Alliance's. Big sigh. Warnings: This is the end of my Close to the Edge series. The first part is called Nearer the Edge. You don't have to read it to understand this one, but it helps. The events take place some weeks after Nearer the Edge. Comments are highly appreciated at pitapattr@yahoo.com The date is 2001.

Foreword
Fraser [in semaphore]: Red suits you.
Vecchio: What was that about?
Fraser: What? Oh, that?
Vecchio: Yes, that.
Fraser: Nothing.
Vecchio: Nothing? You're standing there flailing your arms around like you're daffy. What do you think, I just got off the boat?
Fraser: Which boat?
Vecchio: Don't try to deflect this.
Fraser: Deflect what?
Vecchio: You know what I'm talking about.
Fraser: Well, no, Ray, actually, I don't know what you're talking about.
Vecchio: After all that we've been through, haven't you learned anything?
Fraser: In what sense?
Vecchio: You're the most irritating man in the world.
Fraser: Define irritating.
Vecchio: Oh, no, you look it up, Mr. Encyclopaedia.
Fraser: Well, I think you mean Mr. Dictionary, don't you?

Red, White or Blue.

Everything was almost said and done. The Bolt brothers were in jail once more, the FBI guys had made a fool of themselves once more, all jury members had been released or sent to the hospital, Judge Brock included. Detective First Grade Ray Vecchio looked around, observing as his unofficial partner, Constable Benton Fraser patiently answered the last questions to a plainclothesman policeman from 16th Precinct on the case.

In Ray's opinion, the case did not register any permanent impression. OK, so Benny and he would have a great story at the family's dinner table telling everyone how they shared a weird poncho and had a bomb linked to their heartbeat. Before that, they had been knocked out and kidnapped. Actually, it was nothing so out of the ordinary, considering their cases together.

Diefenbaker stood by the detective's side, observing his human pack mate as conspicuously as it was possible for a wolf. There was something wrong with the slender one, thought the wolf. Dief could smell the grief and self-pity. Whenever Ray felt that way, he also developed a certain anxiety that resulted in doughnuts for Dief. It was as if Ray wanted to compensate the wolf for having to deal with his own feelings of inadequacy. From the readings Dief was getting from Ray in that particular moment, he knew that the doughnut opportunities could rise to the roof.

Ray was just trying to deal with feelings he should not be having. First, he should not be in lov- Ops, there was the forbidden L word. That was the big forbidden feeling. Major no-no. This was not kosher for an Italian cop, thinking this way about his very straight Mountie friend. Ray sighed, thinking he should have been over it by now.

Then there were all those weeks when Ray observed the Dragon Lady and Benny almost hitting it on. There was a sort of tension in the air around those two, a sort of sexual tension. Well, that was what couples in love experienced, right? So it was normal. Ray really believed he was OK with that. He had decided to make anything that made his friend happy. And if Benny wanted the Dragon Lady, then Ray would have to deal with the Dragon Lady.

Deciding what to do was something. Seeing it actually happening was something else. How dared Benny make all those stupid flag signs? At the time, he was involved with the case and did not notice it happening. But now, everything was clear. Benny was flirting with the Dragon Lady by semaphores. Ray was outraged. He felt humiliated. But he could not say a word now, could he?

Definitely, too many feeling he should not have.

A whine came from below. Ray peeked at Dief. "Maybe we can stop for doughnut, Dief. What do you say?"

A happy bark. A sad smile.

"Is everything alright, Ray?"

Benny's arrival captured Ray's attention.

"Sure, Benny", Ray shrugged. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"You seem still upset with me. I thought you were talking to me again."

"Well, I am not upset and I am talking to you." "Are you sure?"
Slight annoyance, deep sigh. "Yes, I am quite sure, Benny. Will you let it go now?"

"Of course, Ray."

"Come on, I will drive you home."

"I have to go to the Consulate, and pick up coffee on the way."

"But you are not going to the Consulate like this", Ray indicated the missing sleeve on the red serge jacket. "Are you?"

"Of course not, Ray."

"So, first we take you home, then we eat something, you buy coffee and we get to the Consulate. Is that OK for our escape route, huh, Mr. Mountie?"

Ray's mood was really bad, Ben observed. So he just nodded. "As you wish, Ray."

The ride to West Racine was painfully silent. Fraser did not want to upset Ray more than he already was. Besides, he had reasons of his own to be also quite cranky.

Dealing with women had never been Ben's best feature, yet he was having an exceptional bad rapport with his superior officer. The main area of such bad interaction was at the personal and off-work field. Inspector Thatcher had clearly determined their relationship was not to be, and all their previous contact was to be erased from his memory.

Fraser could not do it. He remembered. But he remembered mainly the feeling of loss and despair as he once more faced a lifetime of loneliness and emptiness.

Everyone left. His whole life had been marked by people leaving him alone, punctuating his solitude with deep pain. He should have been used to it by now. He would have plenty of time to get used from now on.

Still, his heart would not stop bleeding, and there were some former heart aches that had picked up that particular moment to return with full force. His feelings for Ray had chosen this moment to resurface with an intensity that stunned him. But he could not deal with his love at that moment.

His priority now was Ray, not his love for Ray. Ray was mad at him. Again. From the moment he knew he had once more annoyed and hurt his best friend's feelings, Fraser knew he would do anything to clear things with Ray. He could not bear the thought of hurting Ray.

Fraser could not name what he had done this time to annoy Ray, but his friend was not speaking to him. They arrived at West Racine in total silence, and Fraser's heart was racing to find a way to make Ray feel better. Ray's heart was immersed in anger and self-pity.

"This will only take a minute, Ray," said Fraser as they got inside the spartan apartment.

Ray sighed and sat by the kitchen table as the Mountie went inside the closet to change his jacket and Henley T-shirt. The Italian looked out the window, feeling drained. Suddenly, all the day's tension began to rise. He could have been killed. That stupid bomb could have gone off, and he and Benny would be history by now.

For a moment, Ray played with the idea of his death. Who would miss him? Besides his family, Angie and a few co-workers like the Lieu and Elaine, no one would mourn Ray Vecchio. The planet would still be spinning with one less Vecchio.

He knew Benny would miss him. But Benny wouldn't count, because Benny would be dead with him. But if for some weird reason Ray survived and Benny died...

Ray did not realise the amount of pain that thought evoked until it hit him right in his chest. He felt almost suffocated, out of oxygen. Benny... dead. Oh, no. That could not be so. Ray felt the Universe tilting, everything going out of place, walls crumbling down. Benny... gone. His life would be over, too, and in the most terrible way: he would still be breathing, walking, or so, but he would be dead inside. If Benny died, Ray could not survive. Worse than that: Benny would never know how much Ray loved him. His ears roared with that thought.

The pain in Ray's chest was becoming unbearable, the lack of oxygen worse. Ray wanted to breathe, but he found himself unable to suck air, even through his mouth. Reality became liquid. Benny dead. There was some noise on the background, but Ray could not hear it.

A soft touch in this shoulder interrupted his reverie, and Ray was abruptly and none too gently transported back in time and space.

"Ray?"

He looked up to see Benny's warm blue eyes staring in a worried frown at him. Ray was panting quietly, his heart out of control, looking at the Canadian with a lost look, feeling as if he had just waken from a horrible nightmare.

"I called you, and you did not answer." Benny seemed to be increasingly worried. "You... are crying."

Ray lifted one hand to his face and found out that his cheeks were wet. Oh, now what would he tell Benny? The pain in his chest seemed to grow stronger and he could not keep himself from looking away from those blue eyes. God, those eyes.

*I can't tell him I love him. I can't not not tell him, either. *

"Ray? Please, Ray, talk to me."

Ray looked away and tried to wipe his tears. "I am OK, Fraser."

"Ray, please, tell me. What is wrong?"

He could not face his friend. What had he done? How could he get out of this situation?

Ray kept his eyes away from those piercing blue ones. "You don't want to know."

"Yes, I do." The hand was back on his shoulder, warm and gentle. "You are my friend. I want to help."

"No, Benny. I don't deserve it. I have these... ugly things inside me, things you don't want to know. If you see them, you won't wanna see me again."

"Ray, I have also many ugly things inside me. You have seen some, and they have hurt you. And you are still my friend. Why would I be different?"

"Because you're not a faggot, Benny, that's why." Ray's voice was quiet, not shouting as he supposed he would be as he blurted out the unspeakable truth. "I love you so much, and I must be the biggest faggot to fall in love with my best friend, but I can't hold it anymore. I'm sorry, Benny, I'm so sorry."

Once more, when Ray realised what had happened, he was already enveloped in two loving and warm arms, a fresh clean white Henley soaking his tears. "Oh, Ray. I love you so much."

Ray tried to resist. "No, Benny, it's the Dragon Lady you're after. I won't stand in your way."

Ben did not let go, and Ray was trying very hard not to realise how good it felt to be in Benny's arms. "No, Ray, that is not true. The Inspector and I... it never worked out."

"But... right there... at that building... you two were... you were..."

"We were merely working together, Ray. The Inspector had made it quite clear that it was inappropriate for us to have a relationship. Besides, it is you I love. I always knew she was a sort of compensation, since I had never dared to believe you could feel the same way for me. I was going insane about you, Ray. So I did something foolish, and I got involved with her. But I could never forget you."

Ray sniffled. "Benny, I've always loved you. Oh, geez. You could have died without ever knowing it, and my life would be over."

"Ray?"

The Italian shook his head. "Never mind. I guess I was daydreaming. I mean, it was a day-nightmare."

Benny took Ray's head between his hands and looked deeply into his green golden eyes filled with tears. "I love you, Ray."

Ray could see he was telling the truth. It was so frightening. And so arousing. Ray shivered.

"I love you, too, Benny. But I don't know if I'm still dreaming or daydreaming, or whatever."

"You are not dreaming". Benny used his finger to wipe a tear from Ray's face. "Now please stop crying. I can't bear to see you cry, Ray. You have no idea how painful it is to me."

"Oh, Benny." If anything, Ray cried harder. Benny let his friend's head rest in his shoulder and gently caressed his back. The Canadian's tenderness touched Ray deeply.

For a few minutes, they just held on to each other, their emotions running deep. Ray had his arms around Benny's waist, and once he finally stopped crying he marvelled at the sensation of such warmth around him.

Benny raised his head to look at Ray, who also looked at him. The Italian's eyes were still red from crying, but they were fixed on Benny's blue ones. Never had Ray seen so many emotions in his friend's eyes before. His breath caught.

Ray's eyes entranced Benny, two pools betraying a myriad of emotions, dancing colours that ranged from deep green to golden. Never had Benny felt his heart ache so, or his feelings so raw and unhampered. It was overwhelming.

They looked at each other, their faces only a breath away, their hearts racing. Later, neither of them could say who took the initiative. Not that it mattered anyhow. Their lips met, their bodies pressed. Gently, Fraser's lips parted Ray's, and he slid his tongue inside his partner's mouth. Ray was so carried away that he just let the tongue stay in his mouth, his own tongue feeling the hot wet caress of the intruding organ.

Benny's heart stomped inside his chest. He was so overwhelmed with happiness in holding Ray so close that he feared some intense stroke. Ray, on the other hand, felt as if his brain had just gone AWOL. He feared that if he stopped to think about what was happening, he might become so stunned he would not be able to function anymore. He put his hand on the back of Benny's neck and pulled the Canadian closer.

Both men just followed their instincts. They were lost in a fierce kiss, and suddenly a different need crept over them. They just couldn't take their hands off each other. A loud nasal breath was heard in the quiet apartment, and a few moans, too.

Ray's hands roamed on Benny's back and moved down to envelop the Mountie. Standing so close, it was impossible not to feel a distinct bulge on his partner's groin. The fact ignited a whole chain of reactions in his own body. Suddenly just hugging and kissing was not enough.

The moaning got louder as Benny felt the response on Ray's body, and he also used his hands to feel the slim, leek body. He couldn't bear just getting cloth under his hands anymore, so he took off Ray's suit, letting it all on the fall the floor. Benny was rewarded when Ray slipped his suspenders off his shoulders and agile hands sneaked under his Henley to find his warm soft skin. Both men shuddered.

The sensations were too much. They tumbled towards the bed, now groping each other much more intensely, clothes being loosened or lost on the way. The frantic motion kept the pace as they reached the bed. Ray sat on it and looked up to see Benny.

Time stood still as Benny and Ray looked at each other, fully aware of what they were about to do. As they did so many times in their line of work, only a glance was enough to communicate their deepest thoughts. The electricity exchanged in their look made both even more lustful. It was Ray who first broke the spell and got back into action.

"Benny," Ray panted as he struggled with the riding pants. "Are you sure?" The cop wanted to give his partner every chance of making a conscious decision, not a choice based on raging hormones.

"Of course I am", said Benny, as eager to get rid of Ray's clothes as Ray was to get rid of Benny's. "I want you so much, Ray."

That was good enough for Ray. "Ok, that settles it".

In a swift motion, Ray brought down Benny's pants and boxers and plunged to capture the Canadian's navel with his lips. Benny gasped, his eyes squeezes shut as his world seemed to flutter. Suddenly, he took a step back, ceasing all contact with Ray and dropping to his knees to untie his boot laces at supersonic speed.

In minutes, they were totally naked, exploring each other bodies eagerly. Ray laid Benny on the bed and climbed unto his beautiful Canadian, his body sprawled, using his mouth to tease and lick rosy nipples. Benny could not believe the sensations his body was experiencing. Everything seemed so new.

Ray was also making debuts of his own, but he could not stop to wonder at that time. This was the first time he had a male lover. And what a beautiful one he was. Ray imagined he would have time later to gaze at that pale splendour. His mobile hands were intent on mapping out the amazing body quivering under his touch. His lips wanted nowhere else to go but over every inch of Benny's soft warm skin.

Benny moaned when a flaring tongue licked his neck. He felt so powerless under Ray's caresses, unable of nothing more than opening himself up to the man that he loved so much it amazed him. Or so he thought, until he felt Ray's erection pressed against his hip. In that moment, Benny knew what he wanted.

It took him a fraction of a second to grab Ray by his shoulders and flip them both in the tiny bed until he was facing down wide green eyes filled with lust. Their cocks touched and Ray keeled. Benny felt the sparkles from the touch rake his body and move his hips.

"Oh, God", whispered Ray.

Benny kept moving, and the sensations swept all over him. Ray moaned and his hips moved as if they were a separate entity from his body. Lost in pleasure, the Italian felt a familiar pressure in his groin following the marvellous sensations his Benny was showing his body with thrusts.

Both were very excited. It did not take long to Benny climax with a cry, spurting his hot milk on Ray's body. Almost at the same time, a few quick thrusts later, the Italian also exploded in ecstasy, yelling for Benny. Their seed mingled between their bodies and Benny's half-functional brain registered the symbolism of their union.

Instinctively, both tried to embrace the other, and there was an awkward moment for a second, until Ray let Benny's arms wrap him. He rested his head on a beautiful Canadian chest, sighing deeply, sated.

They stayed like that for a long time, not talking, not breaking the spell. Their hearts slowed to the normal rate. Their joint seed cooled in their bodies.

They were as if one.

"Benny...."

"Yes, Ray?"

A pause. Then a lopsided grin. "Do you have any idea how many questions I have right now?"

Another grin. "I have some, too. Do you want to pose yours right now?"

Ray lifted his head to meet grey-blue eyes. The words died in his mouth. All his answers were in those eyes.

"Nah. Benny. Strange, they just disappeared."

Benny gave his lover a beautiful smile. "Good. Mine are gone, too, Ray." He embraced his Italian a little bit tighter. "Now, just to be sure these questions don't come back, please kiss me."

"That will be my pleasure, Benny."

The End.