Author's Website: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/8741/jmgarden.htm

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, Alliance does, more's the pity.

Author's Notes: It is highly recommended that you read "MELTED CANDLES #1: EMERALD ICE" and "MELTED CANDLES #2: SAPPHIRE ICE" first.
No, it's not an April's Fool joke. It's really Part 3! :)

Story Notes: Pairing: Benny/Ray V. Frankie Zuko's in here somewhere. :)
Category: Drama.
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Major angst. Darkness. Frankie being mean.

I lit
A hundred candles
In the hope
That she would return

She came back
And my soul melted
The wick drowning
In its own hellfire

I plunged myself
Into darkness
And dragged down
The one I love
A slow, terrible burn
'Til the Light was gone

Now my life
Is misshapen
Like cooling wax
And I yearn
To see the Light
Once again

If only...

I
BLACK LEATHER AND A HALF-NAKED MOUNTIE

Ray sat with his knees bent on the bed, the moonlight streaming in through the window. He glanced down at his sleeping companion: once Frankie was sated, he rarely woke up again. He could use this time to good advantage.

He rubbed the thin arms that rested on his knees. The covers were pooled at his feet. Frankie was a covers hog, anyway.

His cross glinted in the moonlight. Silence hung heavy in the house. He wondered how his family was doing. They never questioned him sleeping over here. After all, he was Frankie's bodyguard, right? He felt a cold chill at the thought of what they would say if they knew the true nature of his deal with the gangster.

But that was an old concern. His new concern was much more complicated.

Fraser. Damn him.

His eyes stared out into the darkness, trying to sort through the images that raced in his mind's eye. So much had happened since that night at the train station. So much. And he had learned to live with it. And now Fraser was back. How dare he? How dare he come and expect to be allowed to break Ray's heart again?

Because it had been broken. Oh, yes. He had been in love with one Benton Fraser, his Benny, since the first moment he'd seen him in the holding cell, all bright and beautiful and so Canadian. But the straight-arrow Mountie would never be interested that way in him, or at least he had doubted that he would. And the proof had been in the Victorian pudding: he'd been tossed aside like so much garbage as soon as she'd come to town.

It had hurt, Benny forgetting the party at Ray's and then running himself ragged for that bitch. And then, finally, the train station and the night his world came crashing down...

He raced along the platform, desperate to get to Benny. He had to get to him before the Black Widow took off into the night and left them both with a lot of explaining to do. He could see Benny standing on the platform. Damn, where was the bitch?

Then he saw her...on the train. He speeded up. In that moment, Benny turned his head and saw him, then he too started to run.

After her.

Confused, Ray shook off the feeling. He was going after her to bring her back. That was it.

Ray saw the glint of a gun as she held out her hand. He shouted and aimed to fire.

Benny leaped onto the train and into her arms.

The train sped away, his fellow cops close to catching up with him. He stood as still as a statue. Welsh swore and the Duck Boys skidded to a halt. "Damn," said Guardino.

Ray felt numb. The shock reached in and grabbed him, freezing his veins. He felt an iciness in his limbs.

He left me.

Voices swirled around him.

He looked right at me. He left me. To go with her.

Realization began to crash in on him. His career...oh, god, prison? His family! The house! Oh, Holy Mother, don't let it be!

He left me.

BENNNYYY!!!

Ray still stared into the night. Frankie murmured something and shifted, his warm thigh brushing Ray's hip. He absently reached out and patted his companion, Frankie immediately settling down.

As he'd told Fraser this night, he'd envisioned himself as Frankie's right-hand man when they were kids. The basketball incident had changed all that, but the presence of Frankie was always there, in the back of his mind, or the periphery of his consciousness. Even when Frankie had gone to Italy for two years after college to no doubt learn the 'Business' from those in the Old Country, he'd been a part of Ray.

Frankie still wanted him. The moment he'd stepped into the den with Benny in tow over the church poor box case, he'd felt it. Frankie smiling at him. Frankie smirking at him. Frankie's body screaming out to him as it wanted him.

And Frankie had gotten him, at long last...

He wandered the streets, desperate and sick to his stomach. He was going to lose the house. He couldn't come up with the money that he'd lost when...he closed his eyes. And IA was on his tail. They claimed to have evidence that he was mixed up with...he opened his eyes. Shivering in the cold, he stopped by a streetlight. It was broken and left him in moonlit darkness.

A figure stepped out of the night.

"Ray," he smiled. "I have a deal for you."

Ice congealed in the pit of Ray's stomach. "What deal?"

Frankie Zuko looked smug. Always a dangerous sign. "I'll give you the money so that you'll save the house. And I've got people in the right places, shall we say, that can make sure that you will never see the inside of a prison."

"The cost?" Ray already knew.

"You." Frankie tilted his head. "In my bed. Where you've always belonged."

Ray began to tremble. He stared at the man whom he'd loved as a boy.

"And you'll be my right-hand man. Just like we always dreamed it." Frankie stepped close, his cologne tickling Ray's nose. "Remember?" he whispered.

Ray felt the abyss open up beneath him...

Ray shivered as he began to feel the cold. He thought of pulling up the covers but didn't want to disturb Frankie.

He'd made his choice, which was really no choice at all. To save his family from being thrown out on the streets, to save himself from the hell of prison, he'd chosen a different hell: Frankie's bed.

At first he had been Frankie's whore. He had prostituted himself for all the reasons that were desperate. Then he had noticed how despite the smirks and orders and enjoyment of his forced service, Frankie never humiliated him in front of anyone. And he respected Ray's opinions about the business and never asked him to be an enforcer, or to know about the uglier side of his business. Ray helped with the books and kept his gun ready for trouble, and spent some nights with Frankie in his lavish bed.

And that tiny part of him whispered its love for the boy who'd become a man, and he hated himself for it, this weakness.

And yet, how could love be all wrong?

He had lived his life as a frozen, lifeless husk for much of the first months, automatically performing whatever services Frankie wanted, in bed and out. He had hurt so badly after Fraser's...betrayal...that Frankie had been unable to harm him in those first months. What was being a whore compared to being a fool? At least he was getting something noble out of the deal: his family was still in their house and he was not being brutalized in prison.

What did he get out of the deal he'd struck with Benny to keep him out of prison? A kick in the teeth, thank you kindly.

He nearly let out a laugh at the last phrase. He covered his mouth and quickly looked over at Frankie. Man could sleep like the dead.

Frankie was a contradictory mixture: vain and petty and violent and cruel, yet thoughtful and respectful and kind. He claimed to love Ray in his own twisted way, and Ray didn't doubt that was the truth.

And what about his feelings for Frankie? He'd grown so confused over the past few years.

And then that damned Mountie had come back into his life, like the day he'd barged into the holding cell and screwed up his bust. Okay, so Fraser had saved him from being busted for entrapment, but why the hell did he have to come back into his life at all? Ray had locked away that part of his heart that awful day in the train station.

And the whole mess with the she-bitch. It had torn him up so badly that he'd been shaking inside for much of the whole sordid mess. He had been toweringly jealous the night that he'd raced over to Benny's ramshackle apartment building and had met Dief in the hall. Yeah, three was a crowd, all right. And Benny had opened the door, his chest exposed and his hair all mussed and Ray had almost forgotten his anger. Almost.

"Three's a crowd, huh, Dief?"

The wolf whimpered again, clearly not happy with his banishment to the hallway. Ray knocked harder, his black leather jacket creaking.

The door opened and Benny stood there half-naked. "Hi."

"What's tonight, Benny?"

"Well, it's actually Saturday morning, Ray, and...oh, I'm sorry." Benny had the grace to look ashamed.

/Damn him and that shirt half-off. Cover up, damnit!/

"Yeah, don't worry about it. It was nothin' special, anyway."

"No, I'm sorry. I just...I forgot. I...I got caught up in some things, and, uh..." Benny lunged at the small endtable by the door. "I got your money."

At least his shirt was all the way on, though it was still open and showing pale flesh. Ray seethed with jealousy.

"Like this makes a difference?" He took the money from Benny's hand, nearly snatching it.

"I meant to be there, Ray." Sincere. But he hadn't been there.

Ray wondered at his luck. Had he seriously ticked off the Gods? Because here he was, wearing his black leather jacket and not looking bad, and Benny was standing there with his chest exposed as the shirt remained unbuttoned. A fantasy that he'd dreamed of many times, except without the woman in the apartment. In Benny's bed.

"So, is she in there?" Yeah, like he didn't already know the answer.

"Yeah." Benny seemed confused for a moment. What the hell kind of hold did that bitch have on him, anyway? "I'm sorry, do you wanna...do you wanna meet her?"

Jealousy again, and his old, familiar monster: insecurity. "Nah, don't do me any favors. Wouldn't want to embarrass ya, anyway." With a creak of his leather jacket, he turned and walked away.

"Ray." The voice grew desperate. "Ray!"

But despite all that, Benny had left the bitch's bed to come running after him.

Ray's teeth gleamed in the darkness.

II
SIMMERING

Ray drove up the driveway and parked his baby, getting out and patting her on the hood. He loved being able to still drive her. Frankie let him drive whenever he had to go on an errand or go home.

He needed her smooth surface. His stomach was doing flip-flops. He wanted to get over the inevitable as quickly as possible.

He went around to the side of the house and through the kitchen door. Immediately he smelled mouth-watering smells: tomato sauce, garlic, herbs.

Rosa Vecchio saw him as soon as he walked in. She smiled and stopped stirring the sauce, setting aside the wooden spoon and giving her boy a hug. He held her tightly for a moment, then they separated.

"Mmm, Ma, you're still the world's best cook."

"I should hope so!" She turned back to the stove.

Ray hung up his charcoal-gray coat and rubbed his hands together. It was raw weather outside.

"Where's the tribe?"

"Playing upstairs. Tony's in the living room with the baby. And the girls are...right here," Rosa finished as Maria and Frannie entered the kitchen.

"Ray!" Maria gave her brother a warm hug, and Frannie followed.

"Hey, bro, you're hangin' out at ol' Frankie's too much. Spend some time with us," Frannie urged.

"Or...is Frankie coming tonight, Raymondo?" asked Rosa.

"No, Ma. He's with...he won't be eating alone."

"So you can stay?"

"Yeah."

Rosa beamed and the Vecchio sisters nodded. Maria and Frannie started to help out and Ray went into the living room to say hello to Tony.

It was quiet in the living room. Tony was playing with the baby and the television was off. He looked up at Ray's entrance. "Hey, Ray."

"Hey, Tony. What's up?"

"Ah, the same old, same old." Tony and Ray never discussed business after hours. Tony had a low-level job in the Zuko organization as a worker at one of Frankie's numerous warehouses.

"Good." Ray winked. "Means you won't get shot this week."

Tony laughed. "Yeah, the Feds gave up after last year, I guess."

Ray crossed over to where Tony sat on the couch and held his finger out to the baby. The baby grasped it and cooed. Ray chuckled.

"She's a cutie, Tony."

"Yeah." Tony's voice was full of pride, then he said, "You stayin' for supper?"

"Yeah." Ray absently rubbed the place where his shoulder holster would normally have been. He had removed it before entering the house, reluctant of such a stark reminder of the kind of work he did now. When he'd been a cop, wearing it had been a point of pride.

Dief was laying at Tony's feet. He awoke and yawned, then gleefully yipped a greeting, jumping up and Ray laughed, ruffling the wolf's fur.

He went back into the kitchen and helped with the dinner preparations, cutting tomatoes and cucumbers for the salad. He snitched a piece of tomato and grinned as Rosa scolded him.

He helped set the table and soon the whole family was gathered around the dining room table. It was the usual Vecchio rambunctiousness: Ray, his mother, sisters, brother-in-law, nieces and nephews. Tony Jr. was away at college but the other Vecchio children were growing up fast, even the baby. It was almost as if nothing had changed.

Though of course everything had changed.

He enjoyed the delicious cooking, glad that he could be with his family without Frankie tonight. The mob boss liked to come to dinner every now and again, as befit his station as benevolent patriarch of not just the neighborhood but of the family now. Tony and Ray were gainfully employed by him, and whenever Frannie was roughed up by her latest loser, the man was paid a visit by special hand-picked men of Frankie's.

Frannie had a good job now in a law firm as a paralegal, the partners employed as Frankie's attorneys. Maria was still a homemaker but she was taking art classes and showing an unusual aptitude for sculpture, able to indulge herself now that Tony had a steady job.

On the surface, everyone was more prosperous than they'd ever been. Ray knew that below the surface, emotions simmered.

He had been grateful for his family's support in the days after the...train station. On the one hand, it had been difficult for him. They had seen him coerced into performing services for the Mob. He swallowed as he hoped that they would never find out what other services he was performing.

But their presence had kept him from going completely insane. He couldn't imagine being alone in those terrible days.

And what about Fraser? He was alone, all those years in prison. Ray shuddered. He could only guess at what had happened to Fraser in prison. He didn't want to think too much about it, fearful of opening that particular Pandora's box. A hand on his arm drew his attention.

Under the cover of several conversations, Rosa asked, "Are you all right, Raymondo?"

"Yeah, Ma." Ray took a sip of water.

"Are you sure? You were shivering."

"Yeah, Ma."

She said nothing further but kept her eye on her son for the rest of the evening.

Ray helped with the clean-up. As Rosa began washing the dishes and Maria and Frannie cleaned the rest of the kitchen, Ray dried the dishes. He felt his heart flutter in his chest. He didn't want to bring up the subject he'd come over here to broach. He wondered if he should just chicken out, but he knew that it had to be done. He took a deep breath as he wiped the last dish and put it away in the cupboard.

"Ma, Maria, Frannie, I got some news." Three pairs of expectant eyes looked at him. "Fraser's back in town."

"What?" Rosa's tone was deadly.

He swallowed. "Yeah. It's true."

"He better not come near you, Raymondo."

"Yeah, Ray," said Maria.

Frannie looked fierce as she watched her brother's face.

"Um, he...Frankie hired him as his bodyguard. He's my partner." Again.

"What?!" Maria and Frannie exploded, and Rosa's eyes narrowed.

"Raymondo, Frankie did this? After what that...that..." Rosa couldn't say the word but her eyes were blazing. Ray swallowed.

"Ma, Frankie needs bodyguards. I needed a partner." Why the hell was he defending Fraser?

"You're gonna see that sonafabitch every day?" Frannie ground out. Her infatuation for the Mountie had died the day he had betrayed Ray. Grateful for his sister's support, Ray nevertheless couldn't allow...what? Fraser to be pilloried? And why not? Didn't he deserve it?

He was lonely. The bitch knew it and used that.

He shook off the thought and said, "Yeah."

"Why is Frankie doing this, Raymondo?" asked Rosa.

"Ma, I told you. I needed a partner."

"But why this man who ran off and didn't care if we were thrown out into the street? Who left you with no choice?"

She didn't continue, "...to go and work for Frank Zuko." She didn't have to. It hung in the air between them.

Ray shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know all the ins and outs, Ma." That was a lie. He did know, but he wasn't going to tell his mother, for crying out loud. "Look, Fraser will do as he's told. He won't get in my hair...no crack s...and he can use a gun."

Rosa crossed her arms over her ample breast. "Very well, Raymondo. You obviously can work with this man who betrayed you. But here this: he is not to ever step foot in this house again. Capice?"

For just a second Ray bristled. This was his house, but then it passed. He had always deferred to his mother about the house, and why would he fight to have Fraser allowed back in here?

"I understand, Ma."

"Good."

"Look, I gotta go. I'll be stayin' over tomorrow night." He kissed his mother on the cheek and then did the same to his sisters. Dief had just entered the kitchen and he patted Dief on the head and put his coat on, then left through the side door.

As soon as the Riv was out of the driveway and down the street, Rosa swore.

III
BOILED OVER

Maria and Frannie stared in shock at their mother. They had never heard her use such language before in their lives.

Rosa swore again, her Italian harsh and hot. She glared at her daughters.

"He's back! That no-good, son of a...!"

The stream of invective scared Frannie and Maria. Even Dief was wary, keeping away from his benefactress by edging up against the stove.

"Ma, calm down," Maria cautioned.

"Don't talk to me as if I'm a bambina, Maria," Rosa snapped.

"Ma, Ray's okay with this. He won't let Fraser hurt him again..." Frannie started.

Rosa cut her off with a savage gesture. "And you don't think that that Canadian will hurt him again? He has already made my Raymondo suffer! He works for Frankie Zuko to keep a roof over our heads and food in our mouths. He gave up his career as a police officer to become a mobster for us and to keep himself out of prison. A choice he had to make because of Benton Fraser!" Rosa spat out the name. "And my Raymondo prostitutes himself to keep us safe!"

Shocked again, Frannie and Maria looked at each other with faces drained of color. They had divined the true nature of their brother's relationship to the mob boss a few years ago, putting two and two together and hating Frankie because of it and grieving for Ray. Frannie hated the Mountie most of all who had run off with that bitch and left Ray to Frankie's ownership.

"Ma, how did you...?" Maria stuttered.

Rosa laughed bitterly. "Do you think I am a stupid old woman? I have lived a long time. I know about these things and certain types of men. I have seen the way Frankie looks at your brother. I know how close they were as children. Frankie's wife and child live in Florida, separate from him. There is a reason for that. He is a homosexual, and he has dragged my Raymondo into his bed of sin because of that Canadian!"

Her daughters exchanged quick looks, then Maria said, "Ma, there's nothing we can do."

"No, we can't." Rosa's dark-brown eyes glittered dangerously. Maria and Frannie shivered. "But we can curse the man who brought your brother down to hell."

Rosa brushed past them and thundered out of the kitchen. Three pairs of eyes watched her go, and then Maria said softly, "Heaven help Benton Fraser if he ever meets Ma again."