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Disclaimer: The characters used here, sadly, do not belong to me. I have received no monetary reward, I do it simply for fun. This is an adult only
story, if you are under 18 please go elsewhere for entertainment.

Author's Notes: This little story started out as a challenge-- of a sort :) I thought some of you might enjoy it too, so here it is. Feedback welcome.
Warnings: A little b/d, first time :) Oh, not betaed-sorry but it just didn't seem long enough to bother.

Story Notes:

Not That Man
By Mia Athlas

"Maybe I can't be that person anymore," Fraser hissed, before turning and walking out the door.

"Can't be what person?" Ray said in surprise, before realising that Fraser was already in the hallway. "Shit." He shook his head trying to chase the sleep away and stepped out into the hall, just catching Fraser by the arm before he started down the stairs. "Hold up a minute, Frase!"

Fraser stopped, but didn't turn around to face him. "I'm sorry Ray. Just forget I said anything. I'll see you tomorrow."

"No way in hell you're walking down those stairs without some sort of explanation, my friend. So are you going to come peacefully back into the apartment or do I have to use force?"

Fraser turned and looked at him finally, his lip turning up slightly. "Force? You'd actually try to physically manhandle me?"

Ray let go of his friend's arm and stepped back with a frown. "What do you think?" he challenged.

"I think that you are bluffing. No, more accurately, I know you are bluffing."

Ray couldn't help the wry grin on his face. "Well, yeah. But you almost believed me for a minute. I had you going there, didn't I?"

"No Ray."

"No? Damn. See right through me don't you?" Ray jerked his head back toward the open door. "So how about it...manhandling aside, are you going to come in or do I have to follow you all the way back to the consulate?"

Fraser sighed and nodded. "Alright, Ray. You win. But you may not like what I have to say."

"I'll take my chances, Frase." Ray followed his partner back into the apartment. As soon as they were both inside with the door closed, he forced Fraser to look at him. "Spill it...why are you here at one in the morning? I'm sorry I said that you were being inconsiderate. You woke me up. I was still half asleep. I didn't mean it you know. You're welcome here any time. Even in the middle of the friggin' night. What's wrong?"

Fraser slumped down onto the couch, in an uncharacteristic manner, shaking his head. "I don't know what to do, Ray. For the first time in my life I truly feel that I've lost my direction."

"What are you talking about?" Ray sat down beside his friend, resting one hand on Fraser's leg.

The Mountie stared at the floor for a good minute before answering. When he did Ray had to strain to hear the quiet words.

"I need...something, Ray and I don't know how to ask for it."

Ray rubbed his friend's leg, feeling the cold touch of fear in his stomach. "Just say it. Always works for me."

Fraser leaned back and closed his eyes, rubbing his fingers across his forehead. "Yes. You always have been adept at saying what you feel. Me-I've never learned that particular talent."

Leaning closer, Ray let his other hand rest beside his first on Fraser's leg. "Listen. Really. Just ask. Whatever it is, we'll fix it. I'm your partner. We will fix it, I swear."

Fraser opened his eyes, and looked down at the hands gripping his thigh. "I believe you mean that."

"Damn right! Come on Fraser, it can't be that bad."

Fraser put his hand slowly and carefully over top of Ray's, where they rested on his leg. "Actually, yes. It can be that bad. End of our friendship bad."

Ray felt the cold move upward from his stomach. "What do you mean? You want to call it quits? Vecchio's back isn't he and you couldn't think of a way to tell me? That's what this is all about. Goddamn it!" Ray started to pull away only to be stopped abruptly when his partner didn't let go of his hands.

"No," Fraser said quietly, as he gripped Ray's hand tightly. "It's not that. You may want to end our friendship...not me."

Ray forced himself to calm down. "Me?"

"Yes, Ray."

"Fraser, look at me." Ray waited until the other man raised fearful eyes to his own before he continued. "There's nothing you could tell me, short of that you hate me and never want to see me again that would end this...duet."

"Do you truly believe that?" Fraser seemed to be studying him, as if attempting to gage his determination.

"Truly, absolutely and without any hesitation, my friend. So, come on. Let's have it. You're pregnant right?" Ray half grinned as Fraser's eyes widened, then crinkled in amusement.

"No, Ray."

"You killed someone on the way here, you wrecked my car, you're going back to Canada, you're lusting after my body, you and Stella are having an affair..." Ray stopped as his partner's hand tightened painfully around his own. Shit. 'Please don't let it be Canada. Please don't let it be Canada,' he chanted to himself. "Okay," he began with a voice that was surprisingly steady. "I'm guessing we're playing 20 questions here." Fraser didn't respond, just kept his head down, determinedly staring at their clasped hands. Ray took a deep breath.

"You and Stella?"

He was relieved to see a small decisive shake of the Mountie's head.

"You killed someone?"

Another shake.

Ray screwed up his courage and made himself ask the difficult question. "You're going back to Canada?" He just knew that was it.

Another shake, but the tension in his friend's body increased as the options dwindled. Ray thought for a minute. What else had he asked? His eyes widened.

"You're lusting after my body?" he asked in disbelief, his voice not quite as steady any longer.

Fraser sat perfectly still. He could have been a statue. Ray stared at him with an open mouth. "Really?"

His partner nodded minutely, but didn't lift his eyes. "That's not all," he whispered.

"Okay...as if that wasn't enough," Ray stopped as he felt Fraser lean away from him. "No, no. It's okay, really. God, I just can't believe it, Frase. I never knew you batted for the other team, y'know. Wow. It's really okay. I mean it's really okay." Ray found that he was grinning. Fraser obviously heard the change in his voice and finally found the courage to look up. His eyes met with Ray's and filled with astonishment.

"Ray?"

In response to the unasked question, Ray leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly to the other man's. It was only a brief touch but it still took Ray's breath away. "It's dandy. So far above okay, I don't quite know what to say."

Fraser smiled then and Ray could almost see the weight list off of his shoulders. God, he really was one of the most attractive people that Ray had ever met. They grinned at each other foolishly for a moment, hands still tightly clasped, before Ray forced his mind back to the matter at hand.

"See-wasn't that easy? Now, how about you spill the rest?"

Fraser's cheeks turned bright red and he immediately resumed his stance staring down at his hands. Ray decided that enough was enough. He shifted to the floor. Pushing Fraser's knees apart, he knelt in between them, forcing the other man to look at him. "I'll go first. Would that make you feel better?"

Fraser shot him a look of relief and nodded mutely.

"I've been lusting after your bod for months now. I gotta tell you, Ben. I'm a pretty open-minded guy. Ain't much you can ask that's gonna shock me or put me off. I'm pretty much an all-purpose kinda guy. Whatever it is that you think you can't ask-believe me, you can." Ray paused, considering how he could make whatever Fraser needed to say easier. "Do you want me to guess? You know like before?"

Fraser shook his head. "My uh, tastes are a bit 'alternative'," he said finally.

"Yeah, buddy, I kind of figured that one out already. Alternative how?"

Fraser blushed again, and stammered, not getting anything coherent out.

Ray smiled. "You like to dress up in women's clothing?" he guessed.

"No, Ray," Fraser said in alarm, "that was just an assignment."

Ray looked at him oddly and made a mental note to get the goods on that particular 'assignment' later. At least Fraser was talking. "You're into, what'd'they call it...when you choke someone during sex for the oxygen deprivation."

Fraser shook his head and didn't even tell him the proper word to use. The man must really be freaked.

"You like guys to piss on you? Or the other?"

"Goodness no!" Fraser declared, turning an even brighter shade of red.

This was actually getting to be fun, Ray decided. He leaned in and propped his elbow up on Fraser's leg. "I know; you want to be led around on a dog collar, while being called 'bitch'."

"Uh, no, no...no...well, I uh...I don't think so," Fraser stammered.

Then Ray got it. Ray lowered his voice, feeling himself hardening. "You like to be tied up, don't you. Controlled."

Ray knew without a doubt he was right when Fraser took a sharp breath. "Maybe a little light pain sometimes to sweeten the experience?"

Fraser pushed Ray back slightly and sank down onto the floor with him, wrapping his arms around Ray tightly, resting his head on his shoulder. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes. I need it so badly, Ray. I feel like I'm going to explode."

Ray wrapped his arms around his friend, rubbing his back, trying to sooth the shudders that seemed to have overtaken Fraser. "All you had to do was ask. When are you going to learn that all you have to do is ask."

"I'm asking," Fraser said in a wavering voice. "I'm asking."

"I'm saying, yes. Whatever you want. Whenever you want."

Fraser pulled back and looked at him. "I want you."

"Done," Ray said with a shaky grin. "Me too, you." Ray grimaced. Not the most elegant declaration, but he couldn't find the words. Fraser seemed to understand. Happiness and relief flooded his face in the instant before he pulled Ray hard against him, taking his lips in an intense, demanding kiss. Ray gave back as good as he got, throwing his whole body into the moment. When they pulled away again, they were both panting.

Ray put a hand on his partner's chest, stopping him from diving right back in. He tried to gather his wits about him. "Hold up. Before we do anything about your alternative tastes, I need time to get some things together. I won't do anything unsafe you know?"

"I'm counting on it," Fraser answered breathlessly. "That can wait till maybe the weekend?"

Ray nodded.

"You can come to the consulate on Friday night. We'll have the weekend there by ourselves," Fraser said hopefully.

"It's a date. Two days away. I don't know if I can hold out that long, Frase." Ray looked pointedly down at his straining erection.

Fraser's tongue darted out and wetted his lips, in the same little caress that Ray had seen him do a thousand times. Every time it went straight to his groin, and now was no exception.

"No need to abstain, Ray. I may need the 'alternative' things occasionally, but not all the time." Fraser leaned back, pulling Ray with him until the Mountie ended up on his back with Ray on top of him.

Ray grinned and looked down at Fraser. "God, if I'm dreaming still, no one had better wake me up or I'm gonna kick their ass!" With that, he finally let go of Fraser's hands and put his own to work on the incredible amount of buttons on his Mountie's uniform.

--Friday Night at the Consulate--

"I'm sorry Ray, I think I've made an error in judgement," Fraser said, while staring pointedly at the floor.

"What'd you mean, Frase? Little too late for chickening out now, don't you think?" Ray answered softly from behind the Mountie, his breath hot against Fraser's ear.

"Well, technically, I do believe you said that this was my last chance to end this." Fraser tested the silver cuffs that threaded through the rungs of the chair and held his arms behind his back. He looked over his shoulder at his partner in a silent request. *Don't listen, don't end this. Give me what I need*

Ray regarded him carefully, and Ben could feel the colour seep up into his face. Finally, his partner knelt in front of him-clothes discarded in a heap to the side, legs spread so that Fraser had a clear view of his friend's obvious erection.

"What's the problem, Ben?"

Fraser's eyes flicked up then quickly back down with a heated blush. "She's watching. I can't possibly do this while she's watching."

"Who?" Ray looked around the empty room. The Ice Queen and Turnbull had long since headed out for the weekend. The consulate was closed, the blinds drawn. They were completely and utterly alone.

Fraser shifted, trying to get comfortable on the rough fabric of the chair. Odd how something that had always seemed so soft when he was wearing his uniform could be so harsh against his bare skin. "The Queen," Ben whispered.

"The Queen?" Ray looked over his shoulder and Fraser saw his eyes pause on the large portrait of the Queen behind him. The woman's eyes were relentless-- staring at him. Mocking him. Staring disapprovingly at their little game. "That Queen?" Ray lifted the dildo he was holding in his hand and pointed to the portrait. Fraser blushed harder.

"Ray! Show some respect please!" he said in dismay.

"Fraser, only you would stop a perfectly good bondage scene in the middle because the Queen of freakin' England was watching. Jeesh. What am I going to do with you?"

Fraser looked down at the floor again causing a lock of his hair to fall carelessly across his forehead. "You are quite right, Ray. My behaviour has been appalling. I'll leave it to you to determine a proper punishment."

"Yeah. You've got that right Mountie. Leave it all to me. I've got just the thing for you."

Fraser felt Ray stand and walk behind him but didn't look up. He felt his partner's breath on the back of his neck as he leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "You are such a freak. But you're my freak and tonight I'm going to prove it."

Fraser shivered as he felt leather trail softly down his back.

The end

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