Author's website: http://pearlo.illuminatedtext.com

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not mine at all.

Author's Notes: Thank you to Nifra for stepping up to beta again.

Story Notes:

It had been good. It had been always good, pretty much, even lately, when it seemed like half the time work made Stella exhausted and silent, and the other half of the time she was just pissed off at something. Ray had crashed onto his side of the bed and was pretty close to sleep when Stella said, "Ray."

He opened his eyes and looked over at her. "Hmm?"

Stella was wearing her thoughtful expression, the one that always made him think "bull-headed." Though he wouldn't describe it to her that way. She moved a little closer, tracing his tattoo with one finger. It felt good. "I was thinking," she said.

Ray raised his eyebrows, a little surprised. "Yeah? Anything special there in that head of yours?"

Stella shrugged elegantly, one smooth motion from her shoulder all the way down. "Just..." She moved her hand down his bicep, down his ribs, watching herself stop and rest on his hip. She looked up at him through her eyelashes. "What would you think of letting me do you like that some time?"

He could feel the corner of his mouth curl into a smile as he looked at her, with that perfectly composed expression still on her face. That was his Stella. The one who gave him a handjob under their coats at the senior year planetarium field trip. The one who still thought it was fun sometimes to call him at his desk and rev him up in the middle of the day -- not that had happened in a long while now, but the possibility was always there. Ray liked that Stella. Ray missed that Stella.

"Oh, you're dirty," he said, rolling back over to kiss her.

"So, yeah?" Stella said beneath him, looking pleased.

"Anything you want," Ray said, and she let him kiss her again.

It was later in the week, a day or two maybe, when Ray actually stopped to think about it. Because, really, when he wasn't sex-drunk and half-asleep, the idea was kind of ... weird. Because that wasn't something guys did, right? Or something girls wanted to do.

Except, surprise, Stella did. And, hey, Ray was an easy-going sort of guy, up for new things -- he could try anything once.

So, okay. He could handle it. Bring on the kinky, if that's what made Stella happy. Ray was cool.

They'd had dinner out at Vassily's to celebrate -- she'd won her case, the one she'd been working day in and out for months now. Over the wine her eyes were glittery. By dessert she was running her foot up and down Ray's leg under the table. In the car on the way home, they were groping like teenagers.

It'd been a long, long time since any of those things had happened, and by the time Stella bit his ear and said, "Tonight?" there wasn't any way Ray was about to respond with anything but "Hell, yeah."

They headed straight for the bedroom and fell on the bed, making out messily till Stella sat up and pulled away. Ray started to follow her, but she pushed his chest back down to the bed.

"Wait here," she said, and she disappeared into their bathroom.

Ray blinked to himself and shook his head out a little. He got out of the bed and dimmed the lights, stripped down to his boxers, and sat back on the bed to wait for her. Kind of a deja vu sort of feeling with their honeymoon, he thought. Stella'd disappeared then, too, run off and come back with some flippy lingerie, all fancy and formal like they hadn't already done it however many times before they even thought of a wedding.

She was taking at least as long this time. Ray was starting to feel antsy by the time she showed up again.

Of course, when she did, his eyes about popped out of his head. "Jesus fucking Christ, Stella."

Stella was bare-ass naked, completely free in her birthday suit. Except not quite. Except for the thing, all buckles and straps and jeez, big fake dick. The Stella, with her curvy little hips and her ripe pink breasts and every spot on her that Ray knew better than he knew himself, and a big fake dick. He wasn't sure whether to be scared or turned on.

Both, probably.

Stella walked over to him (same walk, he noticed, hippy and glidey and girly) and kissed him, all slow and deep. It was relaxing, kind of, and it started to settle his nerves. He shimmied out of his boxers when she let go.

She set some stuff down on the bed and said, "Can you -- on your knees, Ray," a little uncertain first, but got surer as she talked.

And there went the relaxed feeling. He shivered full length, all over, for a moment, and then he did it, crawling up the bed and sticking his ass up in the air.

He couldn't see Stella, just feel her familiar hands moving in circles up and down his back and sides. And that was different, too -- he'd always been able to see Stella before, with them face to face, or his nose buried in her sweet-smelling hair, or something, some skin right before his eyes. But not now. Now he could only just feel her and stare down at the expensive new comforter she'd bought the week before.

Stella was starting to make all these little "mmm" noises, as she rubbed her hands over him. Ray grinned to himself -- oh, yeah, she was getting into this. She was turned on, and just that by itself was enough to start getting Ray into it, even when her hands just left all of a sudden.

"Stella?" he said. Yeah, maybe his voice was a little croaky.

"Yeah, Ray, I'm..." Her hands were back then, smoother now (gloves?) and slick. She pushed on him some, and he stretched, letting her shift him where she wanted him.

And this part wasn't too weird. They'd done this before, once in a while, when they were feeling rebellious or frisky or Stella was just getting really into a blowjob. Not lately, maybe, but it wasn't anything new, and it still felt good.

"Mm, yeah, that's good," Ray said, to encourage her.

Stella was making these little breathy noises behind him. She leaned forward -- he could feel her hard nipples pressing against his back, feel her fingers twist, move against that amazing spot.

"Stella, yeah."

He groaned as she moved away, her warmth, her solidity gone. "Don't--" he started, but then he had to switch to "oh, Christ" as he felt her pressing against his ass.

"I'm going to go slow, Ray," Stella said breathlessly. "Okay?"

Ray couldn't do anything but nod. It was too much work to keep his head raised, even, and he let it fall and hang down between his arms.

It was just pressure at first. Light pressure, and then more, and more. Ray felt groggy, out of it. He was -- he was someplace else entirely. It was someone else here, taking those frantic panting breaths and shaking like he was never going to stop.

And Stella didn't lie, it was slow slow slow, moving in tiny tiny tiny fractions of inches for -- he didn't know how long it was. Minutes, at least, before she was in a good ways. In enough for her to start going quicker. Still careful, precise little movements, but more, taking enough pity so Ray wasn't about to die of frustration right there.

He moaned, loudly, as she slid the rest of the way in. The pressure, and so fucking full, and holy shit that felt good, and -- Stella. He wanted to kiss her, fuck her, squeeze her till she popped, hold her goddamned hand, but it was all he could right then to not just give up, let go, collapse into a shaky heap.

Stella moved out and back in, with this weird concentration, like she was trying to figure it out. Then she got it, Ray guessed, because suddenly she was moving faster, moving with rhythm, and she was pressing against that good spot every time, and her nails were digging into his hips, and--

"Stella, oh God," Ray said. That was it, story over, he was coming without her even touching him. Coming like he hadn't come in years, and he gave up the fight already and fell down on the bed.

He breathed heavily, cheek against the blanket, listening to Stella pull out and make funny noises with her buckles and straps, before she came into his field of vision, next to him on the bed. She lay down flat beside him, fingers already between her thighs.

Ray pushed himself up on one elbow and reached over to her. "What do you want me to do, I'll give you anything, Stella, I'll give you everything, let me--"

Stella closed her eyes tight and shook her head, hand still moving. So Ray just watched. It wasn't very long at all before she arched up and froze for a long, silent second, then fell back down hard on the bed and let her hand relax with a sigh.

Ray took the hand from her and kissed it delicately. Stella gave him a small tight-edged smile, and then she climbed back out of the bed and into the bathroom. He could hear the shower going after a minute.

Ray's heart settled down after a little bit, but he stayed laying down, waiting for Stella to get back into bed. That was weird. That was intense, and now that it was over, he just wanted to hold Stella, kiss her, touch her and feel her right there beside him. God, what a girl. His girl.

But a couple minutes went by, and Stella didn't come back in, and she still wasn't there when Ray fell asleep.

Ray is still kinda zonked out -- he thinks of it as the "whoa, orgasm" stage -- so he's impressed, in an abstract kind of way, at Fraser's mobility.

Fraser pads back into the bed, minus grungy condom and plus warm washcloth. A pretty good exchange, in Ray's opinion. Although Fraser isn't asking Ray, he's kissing him. But still, Ray can go with the flow here.

"Mmm," Ray mutters into Fraser's mouth, and Fraser is smiling when he lets go. He drapes his arm over Ray's chest, and settles his head over along the nook over Ray's neck and shoulders. Ray's getting used to this now, the touching and closeness -- weird, maybe, but all kinds of nice.

"So you've done that before?" Fraser says. His words are muffled a little from the way he's laying.

"Hmm?" Ray says. Did he mention that? He must have earlier, when Fraser was still making Ray try and convince him. "Uh, yeah. Just the once."

Fraser's words are kind of like little bursts of warm air against Ray's skin. "And the young gentleman in question..."

Fraser doesn't finish whatever he's trying to stay, but Ray gets the gist. He snorts. "Young gentleman? Uh, no. It was Stella. Me and Stella. Back before we broke up."

"You and-- Ah," Fraser says.

There's a pause. Ray rubs his hand gently across his belly. He runs into the bottom of Fraser's arm at the top of every circle. He's not surprised when Fraser talks again after a minute.

"Did you not enjoy it, then?"

"I loved it," Ray says. "Stella, I don't know. I think I freaked her out some -- you know, too intense, too needy. Too much of something. We weren't really talking much anymore by that point, so who knows?"

There's another bit of silent thinking Fraser, and Ray stretches out, gets himself a little more comfortable.

Fraser's voice sounds a little bit weird the next time. He says, "Was it... different with her?"

And that's enough to snap Ray out of fun-relaxed-party-central mode, right there. He props himself up quick so he can get a good look at Fraser, glaring real good to make sure the point gets across. "Nuh-uh, Fraser, we are not doing that thing. There will not be any comparisons between you and my ex-wife, because that is not fair to you or her and that is especially not fair to me. Okay?"

Fraser blinks mildly and says, "Understood, Ray."

"Okay, then. Good," Ray says, relieved. He settles back down again and says, "Besides which, you know, Fraser, me and her aren't going to be doing that ever again, so I don't see why it would matter, anyway. Especially since you, on the other hand, have a pretty good chance if you play your cards right. Although." Ray rolls over to his side so he can lean over Fraser, get a better look. Fraser's just looking up at him pleased as punch, which is nice. "Hey. Next time -- next time, I'll do you, okay?"

Fraser looks at him for a second, a wrinkle forming in his forehead. "Ray, I'm not sure--"

"No. Wrong answer." Ray goes ahead and climbs up on him, gets real comfortable -- he's got a point to make here. "See," Ray says slowly, "you've got no idea of the things I want to give you, Fraser."

The smile on Fraser's face forms really slowly and sweetly, so that even though it's not even that big, it's still like this force of nature. His voice is real low when he says, "I believe I may have an inkling," and he raises two fingers up to touch Ray's mouth.

Ray narrows his eyes and flicks his tongue roughly at Fraser's fingers, but Fraser just lets him, looking at him like he's something fascinating.

"I don't think so, Fraser," Ray mumbles between licks. "I wanna give you everything."

Fraser doesn't look suffocated, or creeped out, or any of that kind of stuff at all, though. He says quietly, "I'd like that, Ray. I'd like that very much."

End Don't Say the Word by Pearl-o: pearlo@illuminatedtext.com

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