Mean Drunk
by Moonloon
Disclaimer: They're not mine, honest. And I'll put them back as soon as we get the stains scrubbed off.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to Lucysmom for the beta
Story Notes: 1. This was written as part of the ds_seekritsanta, for Shay. 2. This story is set in two timelines. The blockqoted text is Ray's thoughts 'after', and the regular text is the action 'before and during'.
Ray waited for Fraser to wake up. He didn't particularly want Fraser to wake up, but at least then they could move on, find out what happens next. Ray hated inaction, but couldn't quite bring himself to wake Fraser up himself.
~
"I'm a mean drunk, Ray." Fraser said, waving away the mug of eggnog Ray offered.
"You? I don't think so," Ray said. "There's not a mean bone in your body."
"Anyway, it's a bad idea to mix alcohol with painkillers." Fraser ghosted a hand over his bruised face.
Ray shrugged and tipped the eggnog into his own mug. "Yeah, I guess. You want a ride home?"
~
Ray looked down at Fraser sleeping beside him, and wished he'd paid more attention. The topic had even come up again, long after the damage done by Warfield's goons had healed.
~
"Dammit, Fraser! He is not going in my car. What if he throws up?" Ray leaned the mostly subdued, and very drunk, perp against the GTO.
"I don't think you'll need to, Ray. I can see a patrol car; our backup, I assume."
Ray turned and squinted down the street. "Thank God!"
"Fuc'n rip yi head off," said the drunk, trying to kick Ray.
"Oh shut up, asshole," Ray said, "You couldn't rip your way out of a paper bag right now." He grinned over at Fraser. "Is this what you're like when you're a 'mean drunk'?"
Fraser flinched slightly. "Ah, no. My attacks tend to be more... verbal in nature."
Ray snickered. "You attack people with harsh language? Don't tell me, you say 'damn' instead of 'drat', right?"
"Um. Not exactly. Do you want me to help you with Mr Calloway?"
"Nah, I got it. So... we going to get Thai food tonight?"
~
Ray sighed, was he always so easily distracted? He lay down and Fraser sort of snuffled up against his arm, a bit like a cat begging for attention. Ray didn't know if the crazy feeling in head wanted him to let loose with hysterical giggles, or burst into tears.
~
"Sorry, Fraser. I'm not making a lot of sense," Ray said, weaving down the road. "Damned imported beer. How strong was that stuff anyway?"
"Stronger than the wine everyone else was drinking." Fraser had a slight smile on his face, and he watched Ray trying to avoid a mailbox that wasn't actually in his way.
"Shit. Did I say anything stupid?"
"You might have slightly embarrassed Inspector Thatcher."
Ray thought about it for a moment. "Oh crap, I ogled her rack, didn't I?"
"And said..."
"...hellooooo, baby!"
"Yes." Fraser was openly smirking now.
"Oh God, I'm going to die." Ray hid his face in his hands, and almost tripped over his own feet.
"I'm sure the Inspector will get over it."
"In a couple hundred years." Ray took his hands away and glared blearily at Fraser. "I bet you've never make a complete idiot of yourself when you're drunk."
Fraser's smirk slid off his face. "Never anything so innocuous."
"Say what? Remember, I'm not firing on all cylinders right now."
Fraser cracked his neck. "My drunken outbursts are usually hurtful, rather than embarrassing. I tend to... repress things, which then get released under the influence of alcohol."
"Huh. So, all those times you've not said 'fuck off, asshole' come back and bite you in the ass?" Ray wondered what Fraser would say to the Ice Queen, and guessed it wouldn't be pretty.
~
Ray couldn't believe he'd half-wanted to see what Fraser was like drunk. He knew now, oh boy, did he know now. To think, he'd expected that asshole Greg's engagement party to be boring.
~
"Congratulations!" Fraser said, handing a small package to the bride-to-be. "I hope you'll have many happy years together."
Ray grinned as they moved on. "I give 'em a year, tops."
"Ray!" Fraser looked shocked. "That's a terrible thing to say at an engagement party."
"True though. Hi Frannie, playing waitress?"
Frannie handed Ray a beer. "Isn't this great? I can't believe Sonia and Greg are getting married. It feels like they've only been dating for a couple of months." She smiled up at Fraser. "They haven't known each other half as long as we have."
"Uhm, is that for me?" Fraser asked, nodding at the second glass in Frannie's hand.
"Oh, yes. I got you fruit punch. I know you don't drink. You're always so..."
Ray rolled his eyes, unwilling to watch another Frannie gushfest. "Hey... food!"
~
Ray could still smell the punch on Fraser's breath. He should have been suspicious; he was a fucking detective for Christ's sake! But no, he'd wandered off and left Fraser sucking down 'fruit' punch while he stuffed himself with cold cuts, chugged the free beer, and chatted up the bride's sister.
~
"What?" Frannie's yowl was audible over the music, so Ray wandered over.
"I just mean, that if you want to attract a man who will marry you, it might be better to act like wife material, rather than a crazed man-hungry succubus. And dressing like a loose woman doesn't help either."
Ray couldn't believe he'd heard that coming out of Fraser's mouth. "Fraser!"
Fraser turned around and a wide happy grin spread over his face. "Ray!"
Uh oh. "Frannie, what was in that punch?" Ray looked around, but Frannie was gone. "Dammit, Fraser! You can taste the difference between types of dirt, but you can't taste when someone slips you a Mickey?" Ray grabbed the almost empty glass out of his hand and took a sip. "Gah, some kind of sticky girly thing. And probably vodka too. How many of these have you had?"
"Raaaay..."
Ray looked up in time to see Fraser lunge at him, and just managed to brace himself so they didn't both land on the floor. He'd hugged Fraser before, but he was just realising he'd never really been hugged back. A Fraser-hug was obviously something of an experience. He felt... enveloped.
"Okay, I think we need to get you home right now," Ray said, pulling Fraser towards the door.
"Fuck that," Fraser said, "Take me to your home. I'm so sick and tired of sleeping on that cot."
"Hey, what happened to Fraser?" Dewey asked as they passed his table.
"Ah, Dewey. You really should lay off the onion rings. You smell bad enough as it is, without adding mmmf!" Ray slapped his hand over Fraser's mouth, then jerked it away again as Fraser licked his palm and started giggling. "You should see your face, Ray. Don't act the shocked virgin, I bet that's not the first time you've been licked by a man."
"Holy shit! You did not just say that!" Ray grabbed Fraser by the front of his shirt and towed him out onto the street. Fraser didn't seem all that drunk, but he definitely wasn't sober. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ray couldn't believe he was blushing; almost-forty year old cops do not blush.
Fraser laughed. "Ray, you're a lot more fun when you're being pissy."
"So you thought you'd call me queer in a room full of cops? You asshole. I should leave you on the street so you can get mugged, like any other stupid annoying drunk on a Friday night." It was tempting, so tempting to do just that.
"But you're not going to. I know you Ray, you're as soft as warm butter on the inside." Fraser reached out and rubbed Ray's stomach, which was whole worlds of weird.
Ray backed up. "Okay, Fraser, seriously, you do not do that, okay? I'm going to get us a cab, and then you're going to come back to my place and I'll make coffee strong enough to sober up the dead."
~
Ray stared at the ceiling, and wondered if he'd ever be able to hear the expression 'come up for coffee', without thinking of tonight. They hadn't had coffee, Ray hadn't even made it as far as the kitchen. Ray hadn't even had a clue...
~
"Fraser, I'm going to sit you down on the couch and make some coffee. You want to watch some TV?" Ray stuffed his keys back into his jacket pocket and hung it up.
"I'd rather lie down, if that's okay with you?" Fraser said, leaning against the door.
"Uh. Okay, I guess. You can take my bed, I'll bunk down on the couch. You really need to sleep that off." Ray walked over to the bedroom door. "You want me to change the sheets..."
"Ray." Fraser was right behind him. "Ray Ray Ray."
And then Fraser kissed him.
~
Ray touched his lips. He could still feel that first shocking touch. Warm and soft, with the sweet taste of fruit and alcohol. His lips felt sore now, bruised from kisses, and stubble, and the way he'd bitten his lips to stop from crying out.
~
"Fraser... what...?" Ray pulled back and stared at Fraser in shock. "I don't... I'm not..." gay, queer, what was a good word here? "Are you?"
"Lie down with me, Ray. It's been so long since I just laid down with someone. You're my friend, aren't you?" Fraser smiled a tiny hopeful smile at Ray, which just cranked Ray's confusion up another notch.
"Yeah, I'm your friend, but..."
"Do you trust me?"
Right up until this moment, the answer to that would have been an unthinking 'yes'. "I guess."
"Just lie down with me. Until I fall asleep." Fraser tugged gently on the sleeve of Ray's shirt, and moved towards the bedroom.
It was a bad idea, Ray knew that, but Fraser never asked for anything. At least, he never asked for anything for himself. "Okay, but no funny stuff. I'm not like that." Ray followed Fraser into the bedroom, and kicked off his shoes.
Fraser sat down on the bed to unlace his boots. "Are you sure? You've never even thought about it?"
Ray sat down and patted Fraser on the back. "I've thought about shooting Dewey in the face, doesn't mean it's something I'd ever do, or really want to. People think weird shit, it doesn't mean anything."
"So you have thought about it?" Fraser lay back on the bed, and shifted over, leaving a space for Ray, a rather too narrow space in Ray's opinion.
Ray felt very tense like this, he lay down and tried not to twitch. He really didn't want to lie still, he wanted to jump up and do something. Kick someone in the head, dance until he was cross-eyed, something. Hopefully the booze would kick in fast and he wouldn't have to lie here long. "Fraser, just go to sleep, okay? Man, you are going to be really embarrassed tomorrow."
"If I'm going to be embarrassed anyway, I might as well make the most of it," Fraser said, rolling over and wrapping an arm around Ray. "It's not 'funny stuff', Ray. Just a hug." Ray's ears were ringing. This was... not exactly scary, but definitely unsettling. Then Fraser put his head down on Ray's chest and sighed. "Simple human contact, it's a luxury for me, I'm afraid. In the time we've known each other, you've touched me more than anyone else ever has, apart from my mother, but I don't really remember her, so that doesn't count."
~
Who knew Fraser could be so manipulative? Well, okay, Ray had had a few clues, but he'd never expected Fraser to use his powers for anything other than good. Sleeping, he looked so innocent, like he'd never even consider climbing into a guy's bed and making the moves on him.
~
They lay there in silence for what felt like hours to Ray, but probably wasn't more than twenty minutes. Fraser kept running his hands over his chest and down his side, which didn't exactly tickle, but made him twitchy and... horny. But only because it had been so long since he'd had prolonged contact with anyone, and his brain connected 'lying down and hugging' with 'getting some'. Then Fraser slid a leg over one of Ray's and propped himself up on one elbow. "If you did... find yourself attracted to men, would I be your type?"
"Jeeze, Fraser!" Ray said, "That's a dumb question. You're everyone's type. Everyone that likes guys, that is."
"I think you're my type," Fraser said. "It's hard to tell, I don't really have much experience with either sex. I've only been with seven people, and they were all very different."
"Seven, huh?" That was six more than Ray would have guessed. "That's more than me."
"Really?" Fraser seemed surprised. "I suppose that makes sense, you were married for so long. You just always seemed so much more worldly and experienced than me."
It was weird, but he was actually starting to feel pretty comfortable now. And getting Fraser to open up about his past was really interesting. "Not that worldly, I guess. Three women, that's all."
"Oh well, you've been with more women than me."
"What? This isn't like... a new thing for you? Not that this is anything, right? This is just us talking and... uh... hugging."
Fraser grinned. "In bed."
"On the bed, Fraser. Not in the bed. On the bed. Fully clothed. Big difference." That twitchy feeling was coming back, and everywhere Fraser was touching felt just a little too warm. And half-hard didn't count as 'anything' either. Really.
"If you say so, Ray." Ben was doing the stroking thing down his ribs again.
"I did say so. You heard me, didn't you? There's a difference."
"Mmm, pissy Ray is back. I like pissy Ray better than nervous Ray." Fraser's hand caught in the fabric of Ray's shirt and tugged it out from under the waistband of his jeans. "There's a lot of honesty in anger, but you use it to hide behind too, don't you?" Fraser swept his hand back down and rested it on the bare skin of Ray's stomach. "I know what you're hiding under there."
"Okay, enough." Ray sat up and scooched up to lean against the headboard. "What the Hell is going on?"
Fraser followed him up the bed. "You're the most important person in my life, Ray. I can't imagine ever caring about anyone as much as I do you. I know you have people you love, and who love you, but you're the only person I have."
Now Ray felt guilty, but he wasn't sure why. "Fraser, don't be stupid, everybody loves you."
"No they don't, they don't even know me. I've known Francesca for over three years, and she doesn't know me at all. If she did, she wouldn't still be chasing me. She'd know it was completely pointless." Fraser rested his head on Ray's shoulder. "You're the only person who knows me. I'd like to think you at least consider me a good friend."
"Yeah, I do." Ray sighed, and Fraser slipped his hand under his shirt again. It felt sort of nice, and it wasn't as if the idea of cuddling up to Fraser was stomach-turning. "You're my best friend, I'm just not sure about..." Ray waved his hand around, "...this sort of gay thing."
"I know people categorise sections of the human race by what they do, but I don't really think of myself that way. I just - do what feels good with people I care about. Does it have to have a label?"
Fraser's hand was warm on Ray's ribs, and Ray felt himself reacting to the slow caress. "And you want to do what feels good with me? What if what feels good for you doesn't feel good for me?"
"Then tell me to stop."
~
Yeah, 'stop'. Such a simple word. Why hadn't he stopped it right then and there? Because he was curious? Because he'd had a couple of beers? Because he didn't want to hurt Fraser's feelings? Because he liked it, and wanted it?
Yeah, that last one. Maybe.
~
Fraser's lips were soft against his, soft little sucking kisses along his bottom lip. Ray couldn't deny that it felt good, so why not? It was just making out, nothing serious. He kissed back, and there weren't any ominous rolls of thunder or a sudden urge to take up interior decorating.
Ray's shirt slid off, which was weird because he didn't realise it was unbuttoned. It looked like Fraser was as good at this as he was at everything else. Fraser was ghosting light touches all over his chest, occasionally brushing over a nipple, or touching that bit on the side of his ribs that always made his hair stand on end.
"Okay?" Fraser asked, and there was a glimpse of everyday Fraser under the weird pod-Fraser that had crawled out of a glass of punch.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Are you? I mean, you're not really yourself, are you? How are you going to feel about this when you wake up in the morning?"
Fraser sat up a little and looked like he was thinking about the question seriously. "I suppose I shall be embarrassed. I'll probably apologise a lot. I won't regret it, if that's what you're asking; this is something I've wanted for a while now."
That was both worrying and comforting. "Just so you know, I'm probably going to freak out big time in the morning."
Fraser grinned. "Understood."
~
Well yeah, definitely freaking out. Fraser's breath was warm against his arm as Ray stared at the ceiling. Freaking out in an 'Oh my God, what the Hell was I thinking, and will I ever feel normal again?' sort of way.
~
Ray's jeans were too tight, and had been ever since Fraser had climbed on top of him and wedged a knee between his legs. He was going crazy from the way Fraser moved against him and tongue-fucked his mouth, but he didn't know what to do about it. He could reach down and unfasten his jeans, but that would be crossing a line, and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that.
Fraser, of course, just wriggled a hand between them and tugged open the top button. The rest popped open like magic, and Ray groaned, half in relief, half in resigned amusement at Fraser's aptitude at getting him out of his clothes. Then Fraser slipped his hand into the gap and rubbed two fingers over the head of Ray's cock and Ray started groaning for completely different reasons.
Fraser started sucking on Ray's neck, just below and behind Ray's ear, and how the Hell did Fraser know that was a hot spot? That and the fingers worming their way into his boxer briefs were really turning his crank. The Fraser pulled his hand back.
"Hey!"
"Sorry, Ray. It's just that the angle was hurting my wrist. Maybe if I..." and Fraser rolled to the side, knelt up on the bed and tugged Ray's jeans and underwear down.
"Whoa! Hey, that's kind of... uuuuh..." Whatever protest Ray had had half-formed in his mind, it fled completely as Fraser leaned over and swiped his tongue up his cock and started sucking. Ray was half aware that his jeans were tangled around his ankles, and gave a mental shrug as he kicked them off. It felt weirdly pornographic to be lying here with just his socks on while Fraser - oh God - sucked him off.
Ray hadn't had a blow job for years, and it had never been this good before. Wet and sloppy, with plenty of suction and tongue, and no teeth at all, which was great, because feeling teeth had made him nervous ever since he saw The World According to Garp. Fraser had a hand down there too, running his fingers over the bits of cock that weren't buried in his mouth and sort of petting Ray's balls.
Ray looked down. "Ah, Frase... God, when did you take your pants off?"
Fraser sort of grinned around Ray's cock, which should have looked funny, but actually looked hot as Hell, then he pulled off and smothered Ray's protest in a deep kiss. Ray was getting that 'enveloped' feeling again, with Fraser lying on top of him all warm and hard and friendly.
"I liked that," Ray said, "The sucking thing. Do it some more."
"Certainly, Ray." Fraser smiled happily and slid down Ray's body until he was kneeling between Ray's legs, then pulled off his shirt in a smooth move that made Ray wonder again just how much doctored punch Fraser had really had. Ray got an eyeful of Fraser's body and nearly jumped right off the bed.
"Uncut, huh?" Ray squeaked. Fraser's cock was probably the scariest thing he'd seen since the last time he'd been held at gunpoint. It was thick, dark and veiny, with a huge foreskin that covered the head, even now when he looked to be completely erect. It looked wild and messy and biological. Ray's brain kept sending him helpful little messages like 'What do you with that when you put a condom on? Do you roll it back or what?', 'Shit, he's bigger than me. I should have known.' and 'Fraser uses that to fuck men in the ass!'
Fraser must have found the look on his face funny or something, because he laughed, and reached down and stroked himself. Ray swallowed noisily as the head of Fraser's cock slid out from under all that skin; it was shiny and wet, and an angry-looking purple. Then Fraser's face was back down between Ray's legs, and Ray's cock, which had softened a little when confronted with The Monster, perked back up again.
Fraser wasn't going to want him to do anything with that, was he? This was just Fraser doing stuff to him, he wasn't doing anything back, right? Only that sounded really selfish. Ray sighed as Fraser's tongue explored his balls and decided that if it came down to it, he could probably jerk Fraser off. It might even be kind of interesting: finding out about a foreskin first-hand, so to speak.
Fraser's tongue was working its way backward now and Ray spread his legs wider without even thinking about it. God, Fraser's tongue was huge. Then Fraser slid his hand's under Ray's ass and tilted him up a little.
"Jesus! What? No... Fraser, that's disgusting. Don't do that." Ray twitched and complained as Fraser slid his tongue down to his asshole.
"Trust me," Fraser murmured, and licked again.
"No ass stuff, Frase... oh God... ohhhhh God." It felt so good. Way too good to be discovering this late in life. Ray knew his asshole was sensitive, but he hadn't realised it would feel so good to have someone licking it.
"Roll over, Ray. It'll be better."
~
Ray put his hands over his face and let out a shuddering breath. That had been it. That was the line he shouldn't have crossed. He'd gone from messing around with a friend, to being Fraser's ass-boy when he rolled over without a complaint. And he hadn't complained, he hadn't even hesitated, he'd just flipped over and spread his legs as wide as they'd go.
Like a slut. Jesus.
~
Ray's whole world had shrunk down to the amazing feeling of Fraser's tongue. Warm and wet, it seemed to be everywhere. Fraser would lick softly across Ray's hole, then harder, teasing the tight ring of muscle.
Ray reached down to touch himself, but Fraser grabbed his wrist. "No... not yet. Just relax, I want to make the most of this while I have it."
So Ray had laid there passive as Fraser drove him out of his mind. When Fraser urged him up onto his knees, Ray moaned as he lost the ability to hump against the sheets, and then cried out as Fraser pushed his tongue inside, closely followed by a saliva-wet finger.
~
How could Fraser have done that? Just put part of himself inside, like it was easy. Like it didn't change anything. Like it didn't change everything.
~
Fraser pulled his tongue away, and slid in two fingers to replace it. "Okay, Ray?" He asked.
"Uh huh, yeah," Ray moaned, "Don't stop. It's fucking amazing."
"Oh Ray, it gets better. Much better."
Ray doubted that. "Any better than this and I'll die." Fraser pushed his fingers deeper and yeah... it got better. Ray yelled and pushed further down on Fraser's fingers, and then Fraser started licking again.
Ray wasn't sure how long Fraser had spent fingering and licking him, while he humped the air helplessly and bit his lip to stop from moaning loud enough to wake the neighbours. He was lost in sensation, but it wasn't quite enough...
"Do it, Fraser," Ray gasped. "Do it."
"Do what, Ray?" Fraser sounded way too calm.
"You know what. Do it. Put it in me." Ray reached over and tugged open the drawer of his bedside table. "There's hand cream in there. That'll work, right?"
Fraser was still for a moment, then slipped his fingers out of Ray. Ray watched him pick the cream out of the drawer and inspect the ingredients. "Yes, this should be fine."
Ray pressed his burning face into the cool cotton of his pillowcase, and listened to Fraser unscrewing the lid of the jar, and the faint slurping sounds as he scooped out the contents. He flinched as the cold cream was wiped down the crease of his ass, but it warmed up quickly, and when Fraser slid three lubricated fingers into him, Ray relaxed and sighed. "Yeah, this works. This is good."
Then the fingers were gone and Ray felt a blunt pressure against his asshole. It felt good for a moment, and then it slid in a little and the pain started. Ray bit his lip again and tried to control his breathing. Oh God, this was bad. This was wrong, people shouldn't do this. He'd let Fraser finish, because he'd asked Fraser to do it, and it wasn't fair to back out halfway through, but this was a one time only kind of thing. Never again. Ow.
~
Oh God, condoms. They hadn't used a condom. How fucking stupid was he? He even had some in the same drawer as the hand cream, but it hadn't even crossed his mind that he needed them.
~
Fraser kept up a steady pressure, and gradually slipped deeper and deeper. Ray was glad he wasn't thrusting just yet, and sent a mental apology to Stella for her first time. The plumbing wasn't exactly the same, but if he'd known what it felt like to have something shoved into you, he'd have been a lot more careful.
"Mmmmm," Fraser moaned softly. It was the first aroused noise Ray had heard Fraser make. "Ray... are you all right?"
No, not really. "Try anything once, remember?"
"Hmm." Fraser reached around, under Ray and found his cock, now completely soft. "Oh dear." Then he twisted his hips and moved inside Ray, and Ray yelled in surprise. It was like the fingers, but ten times better.
It still hurt, but Fraser's careful thrusts and the way he stroked Ray's cock back to life made the pain seem unimportant. He felt looser now too, like his body had adjusted to having a cock in it. He was slippery and open and Fraser was gliding in and out easily.
Ray got hard again a lot faster than he expected to. He'd never found pain a turn-on, but Fraser was playing his body like he knew it better than Ray did. Fraser was thrusting deep and regular, while his hand squeezed and stroked Ray's cock, and Ray felt himself getting closer and closer to coming.
"Yeah... oh yeah! Nearly... more, Fraser. Just a bit more." And Fraser leaned over Ray's back and bit down lightly on the back of Ray's neck.
Ray came hard. Harder than he remembered ever coming before. He could feel his muscles tightening around Fraser, and Fraser's cock flexing inside him and pressing on the perfect spot. Fraser's hand kept tugging at his cock until he'd finished coming and Ray's knees gave way.
Ray lay gasping for breath. He wasn't sure what to say now, and settled for "Fraser... you're kind of squashing me." He twisted his head back, but all he could see was the top of Fraser's head. Then Fraser gave a breathy little snore and Ray tried not to giggle hysterically.
Some careful wriggling got him out from under Fraser, though not without a moan of pain as Fraser's cock slid out of his ass. He sat up and watched Fraser, his mind finally clear of confusion and lust. It had been good, sort of. He'd liked it, hadn't he? He even loved Fraser, although he wasn't really sure what sort of love it was. Did he want to do this again?
He shifted, trying to find a position that didn't hurt his ass, and waited for Fraser to wake up.
~
Yeah, waiting for Fraser to wake up.
~
The End
End Mean Drunk by Moonloon
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