The Fall Part 4
by Evans
Disclaimer: If you sue me for borrowing these characters, I'll cry.
SequelTo: The Fall Part 3
Oscar hadn't gotten very far from the caf before he started to feel that he'd
made a huge mistake walking away from his Pop and his boyfriend. He hoped that
they would stay at the caf, but as he rounded the corner of his street, it hit him
that they wouldn't. Yanking his cell phone out of his pocket, he started dialing as he
backtracked.
He tried his pop first and there was no answer and then he tried Benton's cell. The
same result. It rolled directly into voicemail. He tried Benton's room and got the
voicemail. Finding himself back in front of the cafe, he'd stepped in hoping to see
the two men, but knowing full well that the chances were slim.
The girl at the counter smiled at him, "Votre petit-ami n'est pas ici."
"Merci," he managed to smile at the girl as he ordered a coffee and found a table in
the corner. Maybe they would come back. He picked up his cell phone again to dial
his dad in Los Angeles and realized that he didn't trust himself not to just spill
everything. And Ray had told him not to. And he didn't want to. Of his two
adoptive parents his dad, Joe was the most protective. His pop, Ray, was protective
in his way. But Joe sometimes could be overbearing. Maybe it was because he
wasn't the one that stayed home with him. When he was growing up, Ray was the
one to do the day to day. Ray took him to soccer practice. Ray drove the school car
pool. Ray took him shopping for school clothes. His pop, Ray, had always been
about him being a man. His dad hadn't wanted Oscar to come to Montreal at all and
they had argued about it. Ray was the one to convince Joe it was okay and Oscar
gave silent thanks again. Because as freaked out as he was that his pop had shown
up out of the blue, it was better to have his pop here than to have his dad.
And that in itself was freaky given that his pop and Benton had been married. And
his dad and his pop seemed to fit so well together he couldn't imagine either of
them with anyone else. It wasn't like the name Benton Fraser had even ever really
been spoken in their house. So that wasn't how he knew Benton. He hadn't had any
sense of him in that way. He had only known him as his cousin Tony's uncle. The
uncle who built the tree cabin they'd hung out in when he visited, the good looking
man that talked to him at his Aunt Frannie's wedding. It was the meeting at the
wedding that stuck with him. Specifically what Benton had said to him that day.
That day, the god in the tuxedo, the man all the women seemed to want to dance
with said a couple of things. One of which registered immediately, the other not
until he was fifteen almost sixteen and then it was all he could hear. As Benton
talked to him in that precise Canadian accent as though he were an adult, Oscar
thinks that's when he first started crushing on Benton. At twelve he already knew
he liked boys, but his parent's death sort of sidetracked him doing anything with
that information.
He'd been sitting alone on one side of the room when Dief, Benton's white half-wolf,
came over and lay on the floor at his feet. He'd scooted off the chair and sat
beside the animal and rubbed his head.
"Ah it was good of you to keep Diefenbaker company." Benton had said as he
unbuttoned his jacket and sat beside Oscar on the ground. "I think he's the one
keeping me company."
"Understood." Then quietly. "My mother was killed when I was six years old. My
father was killed when I was older." And in that moment Oscar felt like he wasn't
so alone. It seemed like once his parents died he was suddenly surrounded by
people with parents. He knew that his godfather didn't see his parents, but he had
them, knew that Ray didn't have a dad but at least he still had a mother.
Benton Fraser was the first person he'd met after his parents died that didn't have
any parents either. And he'd lost his mother when he was younger than Oscar. At
that time he only knew that Benton was a friend of Ray Vecchio, who was his
godfather's boyfriend. And he'd listened intently as his new friend told him some
things that he'd clung to over the years. The first had been that his parent's death
wasn't his fault. Everyone had told him things would get better, but no one had
zeroed in on the thing eating at his heart. Benton Fraser had been the only one to
do that. He'd also told him that Ray and Joe would take good care of him and that
he would be safe. And even though Joe had told him essentially the same thing
when he took him in, it somehow sounded more true coming out of the mouth of
Benton Fraser.
Oscar sipped his coffee and stared at his silent cell phone. He'd left messages on
all the available voicemails and neither of them had yet to call him back. His nerves
were so jangled he knew that he wouldn't be able to concentrate in his seminar and
he'd called his professor to explain that he had a family situation arise. Before he'd
left the caf earlier that day, he'd taken a moment to look at the two of them. Two
people that he loved in vastly different ways. The two of them standing side by side
staring at him. It had been hard looking at his pop. Oscar's intention had never
been to hurt him. He'd been surprised as anyone when his play hadn't been rebuffed.
He didn't think that he was conceited, he'd been hit on enough times by a variety of
people to know that he wasn't a troll, but he'd been nervous to the point of babbling
on his first date with Benton.
He'd learned in the subsequent months that, that kind of behaviour wasn't Benton's
normal style. Oscar was grateful that on that night Benton had decided to let go of
his natural reserve. And knowing his lover as he did now, it was that much harder
for him to wrap his mind around the idea of he and his pop ever being more than
work partners. He could see them as cops, they both had that thing that said cops
about them so it wasn't that hard to imagine his pop as the "bad" cop and Benton as
the "good" cop, but the rest....Besides not wanting to think about his parent and
sex, he just couldn't see it.
What Oscar could see when he left the caf earlier was that his pop still loved him.
Before his panic he'd hoped that love would keep the man that raised him from
beating the hell out of the man he loved. Still his stomach was doing a flip flop a
minute. And when his phone finally rang he nearly jumped out of his skin. "Hello."
"Did you call your dad?."
"I chickened out," he admitted to his pop. On the other end of the line Ray
chuckled. Oscar took that as a good sign.
"Where are you now?"
"At the caf. I got nervous and came back. I called my professor and told him that
I wasn't going to be able to make it today."
"You're not gonna get penalized for that are you."
"No it's okay."
"Alright, I'll pick you up in about ten minutes."
"Okay." And Oscar's stomach did one more flip.
*****************
Ray flipped the omelette in the kitchen of his son's apartment. At one time the
whole structure had been a large Victorian home but now it was divided into four
separate apartments. He remembered Oscar showing him a picture of it on the
internet. At the time he thought that the picture was an exaggeration but it was as
roomy as advertised.
The open design of the kitchen allowed Ray to watch as Oscar set the table. Meal
times had been important in the three homes that eventually came together to
make the Alta-Vecchio household. Sometimes the three of them ate at very odd
hours given the schedule of the two adults but in the first couple of years as a
family, Ray and Jersey strove to have regular meal times with Oscar. Either Jersey
or Ray cooked and Oscar set the table. When Oscar was older Jersey actually
relented and let him touch the stove, but generally speaking, table setting was
Oscar's thing.
It was nice, Ray thought, fixing breakfast in his kid's place. Despite the elephant
hogging the space in the room, this simple pleasure was something that they hadn't
experienced since Oscar left for college. It had been important to Ray that they
cut as much of the apron string as they could when they sent him off to school.
Especially since his school of choice, USC, wasn't really that far from their home.
They'd become a close knit family, but Ray knew that sometimes being in constant
proximity to that same family could stunt you. He'd been willing to set aside who
he was for his family because they were in each other's pockets. He put them first
because he felt it was his duty, but he wanted his son to learn early how to survive
in the world. He wanted his son to be his own man from the jump. Jersey wanted
him to commute to school and live at home.
"Hey this is nice, huh?" Oscar looked up from setting the forks down and grinned at
his pop.
"Yeah, it is. I've missed the monster omelette breakfast." In the face of that grin
ten years of proud father moments flashed in Ray's head. There was nothing that
could make him not love this boy.
The elephant sat quietly in the corner of the room while father and son ate
breakfast. And they talked of other things. As there became more plate in front
of both of them than monster omelette, the elephant inched his way closer to the
table. Oscar lifted his glass suddenly. "A toast." Ray lifted his glass as well. "A
famiglia, " the young man intoned solemnly.
"A famiglia." Ray joined in. Oscar took a quick sip and splayed his fingers on the
tablecloth. The elephant lumbered and sprawled in the center of the table.
"I didn't mean for you guys to find out this way."
"Well your dad is still blissfully ignorant." The nervous young man slumped in his
seat. His eyes remained concentrated on his own hands.
"At least he can't ground me."
"No but he can come after Fraser with a shotgun."
"Oh, God. It wasn't Benton. I did this. I told you in the caf that this was on me.
I'm the one that started this."
"That's a Mountie specialty, to make you think some lunatic thing he gets you
involved in you're doing of your own free will. It isn't true Oscar. You don't have to
stay involved in this situation because you think it's your responsibility." Despite his
assertion to Benton that any objection he made would send Oscar in the wrong
direction, Ray couldn't resist the pull to say what was on his mind.
"When Adam broke up with me the first time it hurt a lot." It took Ray a moment
to switch gears.
"When Adam -, " Oscar lifted his head and stared at his pop. Pain flittered around
the edges of his expression.
"I know you and dad thought that I broke up with him, but it was Adam's idea...both
times. One of the things that made it easier the first time was something that
Benton said to me at Aunt Frannie's wedding. It hadn't really meant anything at the
time. I guess I was too young to fully appreciate it."
"Okay." Making sure to keep his expression neutral, Ray watched his son closely.
He'd never known the specifics of what Fraser said to Oscar that day, but the boy's
spirits had definitely been lifted. He'd figured there were some Inuit and caribou
involved since those were usually the hallmarks of most of the stories he'd told
their nieces and nephews.
"He told me that other people would leave me and that `the thing in life is to know
when it is and isn't your fault. Being able to sort that through will make a
tremendous difference in your life young Oscar'. I hadn't thought of that in a long
time. Not until after Adam. And then it was all I could think about for awhile. I
realized that it wasn't my fault that he broke up with me. And I felt really grateful
to Benton because as much as it hurt it didn't hurt as much as it could have. I
wanted to thank him. So I asked Tony, Jr. about him. And then I e-mailed him and I
really was going to thank him but it seemed kind of geeky and stupid. And so I just
asked him about school stuff. And he was really nice about it. And then I couldn't
think of any more fake school projects having to do with Canada so I stopped e-
mailing."
Oscar stood suddenly and began clearing the table.
"Adam left me again, last year. Right before graduation." Stunned Ray, turned to
look at his son. He hadn't known that Oscar was involved with his high school
boyfriend again. For that matter it had never occurred to either him or Jersey that
Oscar was the heartbreakee when he was a kid not the breaker.
"This second time, I didn't know whether it was or wasn't my fault. And it hurt
more than it did the first time. A lot more. I started thinking about Benton. And I
wanted to ask him how to figure it out. I mean if the same person leaves you twice
it must be your fault, but I didn't, I couldn't......I wanted to talk to someone who
seemed to have been there and like with my biological parents Benton was the only
one I knew who'd gone through what I was going through. Tony, Jr. helped me track
him down. There were immersion programs in Toronto and Quebec but I chose
Montreal because he was here."
Listening to his son, hearing the remnant of pain, the retired cop was unsettled to
realize the number of inaccurate assumptions he and his husband had made.
"So, you came to Montreal because you wanted to get with Fraser?"
"I came because....I wanted to get to know him better, I didn't plan for any of this
to happen but we.....I know that I've had a better childhood than he had, a better
life maybe but there are things about me that he understands. Things about him I
understand. And I think that's because of how our parent's died. I love you and dad
with all my heart and you've given me a great life. Even if it doesn't kill you, I think
it still marks you a little when the people who brought you into the world disappear
from your life suddenly."
"I don't know what to say, " Ray said. And he didn't. He'd been prepared to listen but
he hadn't expected to learn how he and Jersey had failed their son. How even
though they'd lived together as family for many years, Ray had failed to see his son.
Had in fact treated him to some degree the way people treated the Mountie. It
shamed him that it never occurred to him that his popular, gregarious and handsome
boy would be the one pining for a studious, semi nerd like Adam.
And now that his eyes were open he could see the striking resemblance between
Fraser and Adam. It wasn't so much physical as it was spiritual. It also nagged at
Ray in a darker corner of his mind that maybe he'd somehow failed his first husband
by walking out even though the Mountie deserved it.
"He's not an easy man, son." And to Ray's ears it sounded like a blessing. And that's
not what he wanted to do. Oscar stopped fiddling with the dishwasher and came
back to the table. He straddled a chair across from Ray.
"One of the things I really love about him is his laugh. He's teaching me to skate and
mostly I just fall on my ass a lot. He laughs at me. And they're these really great
soul deep laughs. The first month we were together he smiled a lot but he never
really laughed. Sometimes I fall on purpose just to make him to laugh. I've got
bruises on my ass like you wouldn't believe. "
They both laughed and then Ray quickly sobered when he got a flash of just who
would be tending to his son's bruised ass.
"Look son -"
"Wait okay. I know this is weird with the age thing and the marriage thing. I know
that but we....we're good together. Maybe you could spend some time with both of
us while you're here. Leaving him isn't an option for me."
And Ray knew that, but the determined gleam in son's eyes silenced anything else he
was going to say.
"Okay," Ray said as he rose from his chair. Oscar stood up as well. "I need to talk to
your dad." He pulled his son into a tight embrace. " I love you. This doesn't change
any of that but you need to know this is probably not the last conversation about
this. Your dad will have some things to say to you."
"I know. Thanks pop."
"You're welcome."
End Part 4
Part 5 - The fallout
End The Fall Part 4 by Evans
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