Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine, but I wish they were.
I have no idea who has the rights to the fairytale 'Goldilocks' but it ain't me.

Author's Notes: Blame Elanor for this one! ;)
She thought it was a good idea of mine to do a Due South version of Golidlocks as I had mentioned it in my story 'Library'. This slightly strange piece was the result.

Story Notes: There are 10 not-so-subtle episode references in this one. See if you can spot them. The answers are at the end.

Once upon a time there were three bears. A Mother Bear, a Father Bear, and a Baby Bear and they all lived in a little cottage in a city called Chicago. Father Bear was staying with them as he hadn't been paying child support and the judge had ordered him to live in the household and contribute. There had been another baby bear, bears usually have twins after-all, but he had to be taken away by a social worker and put in a holding centre.

One day Mother Bear was cooking some porridge. It was the only thing left in the cupboard and she didn't want to go down to Petit's Food Town. You never knew what health scare might pop up there next. It was a long way to the supermarket she trusted and they didn't have a car. She would take the bus next week, line 28, the Kenwood bus.

Anyway she made the porridge but as Baby Bear tasted it he cried, "It's too hot!"

Father Bear agreed. So the family decided to go for a walk in the Burnside Memorial Park to let their porridge cool.

Once they left a naughty girl by the name of Goldi Locks saw an opportunity for mischief. She already had a record as long as her pigtails. She was bad news. She was well known in the neighbourhood for stealing porridge.

It was easy enough for her to pick the lock and let herself in. She managed to get the lock off the door and took it with her; she could sell it for a profit later. Once inside she immediately made her way to the kitchen where she saw three bowls of porridge. She'd hit the jackpot! Smiling she sat down and tried the first bowl. But it was too hot. Undeterred she tried the second bowl but that was Mother Bear's bowl. She added chilli powder to hers for an extra kick. It came from working at a homeless shelter on the weekend. Disgusted Goldi tried the third bowl, which was Baby Bear's bowl with no extra additives. This was just right. Smiling, Goldi gobbled it up.

Having finished the porridge she decided to check out the rest of the house. She wandered into the living room and saw three chairs. They didn't look very comfortable as they had been ergonomically designed for bears. She tried them anyway but found them very uncomfortable. She broke the smallest chair, which was Baby Bear's, in her anger.

Then she headed upstairs. She found three beds. They looked okay to lie on. She tried the first one but it was too hard. She tried the second but it was too soft. The third, Baby Bear's, was just right. So Goldi settled down for a rest.

Some time later the bears came home having been waylaid by the local neighbourhood watch. As they approached their home they saw the lock on their door had been stolen. Worried they went inside. They saw a mess of porridge. Father Bear wasted no time in calling the cops.

Detective Vecchio and Constable Fraser had been out looking Detective Vecchio's hat which was lost in the pursuit of a suspect when the call came. They rushed to the scene as fast as the Riv would go. Ray Vecchio had wanted to put Goldi behind bars from some time, ever since she'd stolen his niece's Barbie doll.

On arriving at the scene Constable Fraser tasted the porridge. He complemented Mother Bear in her use of chilli. Ray heard a noise upstairs. Fraser and Ray went slowly up the stairs. Ray had his gun drawn. Fraser had heard the tales about Goldi Locks and knew she was a dangerous criminal. Diefenbaker stayed in the kitchen where Mother Bear fed him porridge with lots of sugar.

Goldi had woken up and was about to go downstairs when she spotted the cops headed toward. She tried to run but it was no good. Detective Vecchio whipped out his cuffs and secured the prisoner. He read her rights. Constable Fraser shook his head. Goldi showed no remorse. Once Goldi Locks was booked in at the station Ray and Fraser went out for Chinese.

Goldi Locks was found guilty of all charges: breaking and entering, stealing porridge, vandalism and squatting. She was led away screaming obscenities. Part of her punishment was to eat porridge every day of her eight month incarnation in a juvenile centre. After which she would have to deliver pizza.

A lighter note occurred when the second Baby Bear was released back to his family following excellent character testimonies of the Bears by Detective Vecchio and Constable Fraser. Smiling that their work was done they went off into the sunset (with Diefenbaker) to make Chicago an even safer place.

The ep references:

Holding centre - A Cop, A Mountie and A Baby
Pettit's food town- They Eat Horses Don't They?
Line, 28, the Kenwood bus - The Duel
Chilli powder - Heaven and Earth
Burnside memorial park - An Eye for an Eye
Stolen door lock - A Cop, A Mountie and A Baby
Neighbourhood watch - An Eye for an Eye
Tasting - many but you could have said Heaven and Earth as an example.
Chinese - Chinatown
Juvie - Promises and Pizza