Disclaimer: Allliance owns the boys but there's no guarantee I will return them safe and sound.

Author's Notes: Thanks to Elanor for her beta expertise.

Story Notes: This follows on from the episode Red, White or Blue. The title comes from a line in the Sarah McLachlan song Fallen.

It's funny but you never say things when they really count. You never think it's going to be too late, you always think there'll be another chance. You reason it out, think it will be best said another day; that if you don't say it then there's no reason you'll get hurt. That is until you realise that you never said it and then it's too late and the wounds are far deeper than you get when you admit it because you now have guilt and regret in there too.

Some people need a kick up the backside to realise that they really should start facing up to the truth and admitting their feelings. Others need to be aware of just how much they would lose, what is truly at stake. Either way being close to death, risking it all tends to be the reason why people start admitting such things.

Ray Vecchio and Benton Fraser had had such an occasion. Ray was frustrated, needing to know how Fraser felt. Unfortunately Fraser had chosen a moment when they were risking dodging bullets to reveal his feelings, not ideal in the least. Ray appreciated the effort but he still felt like they had missed something.

Fraser knew he had picked the wrong moment, the wrong time but now there were things he really wanted to say, get out in the light in day. Now he felt far more confident about his feelings, his emotions. He had done that silly semaphore but then denied it. He shouldn't have. He should have told Ray the truth, that he had finally put to rest his wavering feelings about his superior. She was not a friend, not a woman he loved, just a superior whom he thought had done well in the case.

Now he had to try to communicate to Ray and get Ray to communicate to him. It was fine when the bullets were flying around but in normal silence was it ever possible? They implied things with gestures and half-truths but never came out and said it. That had to change, they had to learn to say things they kept in their hearts. Otherwise it would become a wound that wouldn't heal. They were wounded by their past and knew it. They never said the depth of it though.

Right now Ray was puzzled. Fraser had not only asked him to drive him home but also to come up. Ray just wanted to go home. He knew they had so much they should say but he wasn't sure if it was time for them to do so. Was it ever time? The right time would have been in a hospital, in a vault, after a funeral but it was never the right time. Now they had come so close and at the last moment it hadn't happened. That was why Ray wasn't surprised when he found himself in Fraser's apartment. The four walls were familiar. Maybe that's what they needed.

Ray waited for them to get inside and for Fraser to take off his damaged uniform coat.

"Fraser what the hell is going on?"

Fraser came close and placed his hands on Ray's arms. "Shh, Ray," he whispered gently. Things had to be said and he was going to say them.

Ray was incredulous but he didn't shy from Fraser's touch. "Shh?! You drag me here when all I want is a hot shower and you won't tell me why?" His voice was quieter than Fraser would otherwise expect. They both knew why they were here.

"It's time we talked," Fraser said simply, speaking the truth. Time was slipping away from them each and every day; they needed to take the chance while there was still some left.

"Couldn't this wait?" But it was an empty protest by Ray. He knew as well as the next man that the time was now, or never and never would be full of regret.

Fraser said as much in his response. "No, Ray we have never talked, not when it mattered. I realised that today. We were close to death and I didn't tell you how I feel. We never do, do we? Now and then but we never talked."

Fraser stepped back from Ray now, There was one thing they should start talking about for all else flowed from that. He slipped his braces off with practised ease and began to take his white long sleeved top off.

"Fraser, what are you doing? " Ray could see what he was doing, he really wanted to ask why but what was easier. Why might lead to all kinds of revelations.

"Taking my shirt off, Ray," Fraser's reply was muffled but in a moment he stood there, bare-chested.

"I can see that, why?" Fraser was naked from the waist up, He was...Ray knew how he felt about the Mountie, his love and lust climbed higher at the sight.

"You'll see, Ray." Fraser placed the top on the chair.

As he turned Ray saw the mark. That was what had started all this, that had been the moment when he couldn't deny his feelings for the Mountie, the moment he had shot the man he had fallen in love with encapsulated in an angry red mark. That had been the start, of wanting to say but not being able to admit the feelings that he had, but of wishing he could.

"Ray?" Fraser had noticed Ray was still, staring. That had been when it started it, when the searing pain of the bullet had made him see the truth. The truth of being shot by the man he had fallen in love with. And since then Fraser hadn't trusted that Ray would return those feelings, that Fraser had no right to hope, that he didn't deserve Ray's love. That to him the mark was proof that Ray cared.

Ray was drawn to Fraser, always had been. He was like an iron filing drawn to a magnet and couldn't resist.

Without warning Fraser grabbed Ray's hand and pressed it hard against the scar, against the mark. The feel of the warmth of Ray's hand on his skin the same as the warmth of feeling Ray nurtured within him. A touch of love. Fraser closed his eyes to concentrate on the feeling. He loved Ray. Ray loved him now, he knew that, he knew. Would Ray run from their mutual truth?

"Can you feel that, Ray?" he asked.

"Yes," Ray's voice was horse the truth was laid out in front of him. Fraser loved him and he loved Fraser. Why had he not said before? Why had he not acknowledged the truth behind that bullet. He hadn't been aiming at all. He had wanted Fraser beside him. Fraser hadn't been running, he had been with him. They had pulled the trigger together, souls together saving a life.

Knowing Ray wouldn't run Fraser released Ray's hand but it stayed where it was, slowly stroking. Ray stroked it as if to soothe but he was stroking, knowing the truth.

"You've never seen it have you, Ray," Fraser's voice was slightly husky.

"No," Ray replied. He had seen it in his mind, it played upon him but he hadn't seen what it truly was, what it meant.

"But you always knew it was there?" Fraser asked it, though he knew the answer.

"Yes," Ray replied.

"What does it feel like?" Fraser asked craving the touch of Ray as he stroked it. Gently coming to terms. Soothing, making it right, showing his love through his touch.

"Like a scar....rougher skin." But there was more than that. Ray could feel the heat of Fraser's body, he could feel the connection, the love. The scar was a hole whereby he could reach in and see Fraser. It was more than the remains of a wound, it was window of opportunity.

Bolder now Ray felt the comparison of the smooth skin around it, stroking in larger circles as he did so. He could see it all now. He was entranced and slowly he bent to kiss it. To his surprise Fraser didn't stiffen, he relaxed. The feel of his rough skin on his soft lips, it was beautiful, it was real. Fraser felt that softness like a balm. Ray opened his mouth and kissed the whole scar area. Gentle kisses now. One on the back, one on the scar. Fraser sighed happily as Ray's lips roamed across his back, feeling him, knowing him.

`Yes Ray kiss away the pain' he thought before a kiss on his nape alerted him to the fact he had spoken out loud.

"I will, Fraser,"

Fraser turned Ray around and took him his arms. He took time to appreciate the man before him, he was...Ray. Fraser saw more than his body, he saw *him*. Slowly he eased Ray's shirt from him and turning him around saw the scar on his shoulder. Now it was Fraser's turn as he kissed the pain away. Ray relaxed under Fraser's touch. Slowly his shoulder was peppered with kisses. Fraser touched the scar with his fingertips. Ray had done that for him, another sign of his love. Fraser licked it and Ray moaned.

"You did it for me," he whispered against Ray's skin. He meant both, Ray had done both for him. Both scars, both wounds that let him heal.

"Hmmmm," Ray said as he turned into Fraser's arms. They found themselves bare chest to bare chest, bare heart to bare heart.

Fraser gripped Ray's lightly furred arms and rubbed his thumbs against them. He was looking down but a caress of Ray to his chin made him look up into Ray's eyes. Gently his hands stroked Ray's chest as Ray mirrored the movement. Then their lips met and movement ceased until they simply held each other, tumbling to the bed.

They didn't part when the found themselves against the sheets. The opposite in fact, it drove them on. How they lost their other clothes neither was later sure. It was all lost in a haze of feeling, expression and emotion. No they didn't really need to talk, actions spoke so much louder. Actions they had been afraid to take, afraid to face and yet now they did so. Ray was on top of Benny, kissing him with as much love as he could. Fraser was reminded of snow but this was not snow but a spring day, the warmth of Ray's skin on his as comforting as warm summer rain. He smiled and Ray smiled back. Before they kissed and it all came together as they came and floated back down together. There were murmurings of love as they drifted off to sleep together.

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The next morning they woke up and smiled.

"Do you want that talk now?" Ray asked half jokingly.

"We don't need it," Fraser said. They didn't, their hearts had spoken for them. "Besides there are other things I want to do right now." And Fraser drew Ray into another kiss.

Wounds had been healed by the simple actions of love for that love was what had caused them and those wounds themselves had healed other things. Now together their love simply expressed itself, no fear, no hurt anymore.