Disclaimer: Not mine; this is just for fun.

Story Notes: Post-series; established relationship

Chicago 2002

He pushed back against Fraser but Ray still couldn't break Fraser's hold on him. Under that subcutaneous fat there was nothing but muscle because Fraser was fucking strong. Then again, his last name was Kowalski and not Schwarzenegger and it didn't take that much to fling him around.

Any other time, Ray would be more than happy to be shoved up against a wall of his apartment, with Fraser pressing into him from behind but there was a principle involved here, not to mention the fact that Fraser had one of his arms twisted behind his back. Not hard enough to hurt but plenty hard enough to piss Ray off even more.

"Fraser, get the fuck off me! I'm not fucking kidding here!" Ray shouted, one side of his face smashed into the wall.

"I couldn't allow you to hit me, Ray. And yes, I can tell that you are very serious," Fraser said in a voice like Canadian winter. "But now, you need to listen to me."

"No, that's the one thing that I do not need to do. I don't trust you to tell me the truth anymore!"

As usual, Ray's mouth accomplished what his body couldn't. All at once, Ray was free and he whirled around, meeting Fraser's stare while he rearranged his tee shirt and leaned back against the wall, breathing hard. Ray was actually shaking, he was so mad. He rubbed the wrist that Fraser had twisted behind his back and glared back, his body twitching with angry energy.

"You lied to me. Something this important happens, and you lie to me." Ray curled his hands into fists and Fraser saw it and tensed his body defensively. "I mean, something good happens to me...something bad happens, you're the first person I want to tell. But you...you keep secrets and you lie."

"I didn't lie. I may not have been forthcoming with the informa..."

"Lied!"

"Evaded."

"Lied! God, you're such an asshole!" Ray exploded, walking away before he got another urge to hit him and wound up against the wall again. Where could he go? Ray thought, striding into the kitchen, looking for something to touch, some place to go to get away from what was coming. "I'm so sick of this fucking Mountie stiff upper lip shit!"

"I would think that we've been together long enough that you wouldn't need to resort to profanity."

Fraser was using his pissy voice, like he was the one who had a right to be mad. Before he could stop himself, Ray was there again, in Fraser's face. "Don't talk to me about how long we've been together. I know exactly how long its been but I think you're the one who's forgotten."

Fraser drew in a deep breath and combed at his eyebrow and Ray thought he might lose it, right then and there. "Two years, eight months, not counting the two years we were partners before our adventure."

Ray poked a finger into Fraser's chest, eyeballing Fraser the whole time. "As usual, you get bogged down with details and totally miss the big picture. I'm talking about how much it sucks that, after all this time, I gotta hear this kind of news from Wallace."

Fraser looked pointedly down at his chest, then gave him a carefully controlled warning. "Please remove your finger, Ray. It's very annoying."

Ray removed his finger but he took his sweet time, watching Fraser's fair skin flush with color with a tight, satisfied smile. Then, Ray turned and started to pace, back and forth, in front of the sofa, the sofa that he and Fraser had fucked on and napped on and watched TV on, with Fraser's head in Ray's lap, or Ray's head drooping on Fraser's shoulder. He wanted more than anything to go backward in time and pull Fraser down on the sofa with him, and pretend that none of this had happened. "I mean, what big secret do you think you're keeping here? You think I don't know that you want to go back to Canada? Give me a little credit, huh?"

"I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean for you to find out from Inspector Wallace. I intended to tell you when the time was right." Fraser said what Ray expected him to say, except that to Ray, it didn't sound like Fraser was sorry. It sounded like Fraser was reciting that Paradise Lost thing again, like it was something he had memorized and brought out when he wanted to impress somebody.

Ray's stomach churned, the moment starting to feel really familiar. "Oh, really? And when was that going to be? You've known about this for a week!"

"It wasn't a firm offer until three o'clock yesterday."

"A week, Fraser!"

"You've been very busy with the carjacking case..."

He came up short then and looked at Fraser "No. Don't even go there. This isn't about me, this is about you." Ray closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead, where a monster headache was just beginning. "Please tell me you haven't turned them down."

"Inspector Wallace asked me to give it twenty four hours' consideration."

Fraser was quiet for so long that Ray lowered his hand and looked up. "And?"

"I'm not taking the job."

Ray had to look away. He didn't know if what he saw in Fraser's eyes was Fraser's misery or just a reflection of Ray's own.

~*~*~*~*~*

Fraser had left the room shortly after their argument hit that brick wall, walked into the bedroom and didn't come back out.

Ray sat on the sofa for hours afterward, not watching TV even though it was on. All he could do was sit and stare, holding tight to a pillow, holding it against his chest and freaking the fuck out. He felt like he was being split down the middle and all his insides were leaking out.

Either way, whatever Fraser decided to do, Ray was going to lose big. He was going to lose Fraser. Either Fraser would take the job and blow a ragged hole through the middle of Ray's life, or Fraser would stay, and Ray would have to know, every minute of every day, that he wished he were some place else.

And Ray knew that he had alot of the power here. He could swing Fraser's decision in one direction, if he wanted to. But could he? Could he live with that?

He finally got up and went into their bedroom like he was sleepwalking, aware enough of where he was not to run into things, but seeing nothing, feeling numb. Fraser didn't stir when Ray opened a drawer for a pair of clean boxers or when Ray went into the bathroom. He showered and brushed his teeth on auto-pilot, trying not to think.

When he was done, Ray flipped off the bathroom light and stood in the darkness for a few seconds, the air still warm and moist around him. When he couldn't put it off any longer, Ray opened the door.He climbed into bed, trying to be as quiet and still as possible, even though, on the inside, he was anything but.

No sooner than Ray was under the sheets, Fraser was there, rolling toward him, moving on top of him, kissing him hard and desperate. His throat aching, Ray put his hands on Fraser's face and kissed him back, over and over until he realized what Fraser was doing. Ray twisted his mouth from beneath Fraser's. "No, Fraser," Ray said, his voice raw. "I'm not going to say goodbye to you, goddammit. You got that?" Ray's heart was pounding, and his dick was already hard and throbbing between them, but he was prepared to stop this right now if he had to.

Fraser pressed his forehead against Ray's, their hot breath mingling. "Ray," he sighed against Ray's lips and brushed kisses along his cheek, his jaw, on the lids of his eyes. Ray sunk back against his pillow, closing his eyes against the sweetness of this, running his hands over the smoothness of Fraser's shoulders and the long muscles of his back, giving everything up to him, without fear, without the usual we're-guys-we're-tough shit. Something in the way that Fraser kept saying his name, between kisses, just broke him.

Fraser's mouth moved over Ray's again, his tongue sliding and moving against his and Ray's whole body strained toward the connection. Fraser's hard thighs moved, creating a delicious friction on Ray's lightly haired ones. Fraser started pulling Ray's boxers down and Ray grabbed at Fraser's until they were naked, skin to skin. Ray pressed his face into Fraser's warm neck while they rubbed their cocks together, Fraser holding Ray's hips down when Ray tried to squirm.

Words that Ray didn't quite understand skimmed over his ears, and he didn't bother asking Fraser to repeat himself. It didn't matter. Ray shuddered when Fraser's hand moved between them and he took Ray's dick in his big hand and he started to jerk him, slow and easy and so fucking good. He was taking his time, something that Fraser knew made Ray crazy and Ray couldn't stay still. Fraser hovered over Ray, balancing his weight on one hand, his eyes never leaving Ray while his hand moved faster on Ray's aching flesh, spreading the slickness of the precome, tightening his grip and moving faster.

Ray started to thrust up into the tight circle of Fraser's fist, curling his fingers around Fraser's taut biceps, holding on, loving this, feeling like he could keep going for days. It was dark in the bedroom, but Ray could see the outline of Fraser's face, see the shine of his eyes that never left his and it caused a flood of something hot and pretty great in Ray's chest. But Ray couldn't stop the pressure from building, starting at the base of his spine and moving down into his balls, drawing them up tight before he started to come, grunting out loud and long while he spurted on his stomach and chest, until he was gasping and twitchy and groggy from pleasure overload.

He didn't say anything when Fraser smeared his hand into the come on his stomach and he didn't do anything when Fraser flipped him onto his stomach. He could only lay there, still shaking with aftershocks, with his face pressed into the pillow, laying still as Fraser spread his big body over his, nudging his ass with his hot dick, breathing on his neck and licking his skin.

Fraser patted Ray's ass. "Up on your knees, Ray," Fraser said roughly, and Ray got to his knees, reaching out for the headboard when Fraser pushed slowly into him, filling him, his dick slick from Ray's come. Ray loved the way it felt when Fraser was inside him, so hot and solid. Ray could feel Fraser shiver, feel his legs tremble as he pressed in tight against Ray, wrapping one arm firmly around Ray's waist. "Are you all right, Ray?" he asked, pressing his forehead between Ray's shoulder blades, breathing harsh breaths against his skin.

"Yeah, yeah," Ray thought he said, still feeling punch-drunk. Pressed against Ray's back, Fraser gave a few cautious thrusts, smooth motions that teased Ray's dick into a hopeful twitch. Then, Ray could sense Fraser straightening behind him, letting go of his waist and grabbing hold of Ray's hips. Without a word, he started to fuck him, really fuck him, every thrust jarring Ray, almost shoving him forward into the headboard. Behind him, Fraser was really getting into it, groaning and slamming into him, the slap of their bodies coming together creating a raunchy, wet sound. And after just a few minutes, Fraser came hard, grinding into Ray, an almost painful grip on Ray's hips until he fell foward, collapsing on top of Ray.

They lay there like that. Ray didn't want to move, despite how heavy Fraser was and despite the fact that his ass was burning because Fraser's dick was still hard and throbbing inside him. Ray reached for Fraser's hands and he tangled their fingers together. Fraser rubbed his cheek against Ray's, and when he started to get up, Ray held on tighter. "No," Ray whispered, "not yet." Fraser relaxed, and Ray closed his eyes, pretending for a minute longer that nothing had changed.

~*~*~*~*

They didn't even pretend that they were going to get any sleep and Ray made a pot of coffee once he and Fraser got up and were semi-dressed. Then, they sat down at the breakfast table on opposite sides and stared miserably into their mugs. At least, that was what Ray did. From the corner of his eye, he could see Fraser watching him and he was pretty sure he wasn't admiring his bare chest.

"Ray, truly, I apologize for not telling you sooner. It was never my intention to keep it from you."

"Fraser, I get that, okay? I know this is...well, its a big deal. I mean, it's fucking huge..." Ray looked up and his mind went blank for a while, realizing how hot Fraser looked in just an unbuttoned black henley and a pair of white boxers and every hair out of place for a change. Ray shook his head and tried to focus. "I understand why you were so slow in telling me and I forgive you for that. But you still should have done it quicker than you did."

Fraser nodded, relaxing a little, looking grateful. "Yes. Yes, you are absolutely right."

"So what do you want to do?"

The answer came fast. Too fast. "I told you that I am not taking the job."

Ray slid his mug out of the way and stared hard at Fraser. "You're not listening to me. I asked what you want to do."

Fraser's serious blue eyes got even more serious. "At the risk of sounding like a drugstore romance novel, I want you, Ray."

Ray shook his head and glared back. "No, Fraser. You can't do this to me. You can't make me the reason you're making the biggest mistake of your life."

"My job at the Consulate...."

"...Is just busy work and you know it!" Ray tried to dial down his temper, shoving his fingers through his hair and taking a breath. "Fraser, we're talking a promotion to Sergeant here. Field instructor at the Depot. They sent you to Chicago as a punishment and they're trying to kiss and make up in a really big way! They want you, Fraser and its about fucking time!"

"Ray, what are you asking me? To choose between you and Canada? I believe I've made myself clear on that score. I choose you!"

"Fuck! You make me feel like I'm talking another language here!"

Fraser combed at his eyebrow with his thumbnail. "I believe I would prefer another language to the one you are currently speaking because it sounds like you want me to leave Chicago and if that's the case, Ray, I'm pretty sure I'm going to kick you in the head."

It was just the comic relief that he needed and Ray's mouth twitched. "All right, no need to go off the deep end. And you know I don't want you to leave. Don't make me start getting all mushy here. Now, let's focus. We're talking about a promotion. The Depot. Teaching. You can't tell me that you aren't honored as all hell that they'd offer it to you." Ray chose his words carefully; after all these years, he knew just which buttons to push.

Frowning down at his coffee, Fraser's answer was quiet. "Of course, I'm honored by it."

"And I'll bet there aren't too many Sergeants in the RCMP that are as young as you."

"True enough." He sounded so unhappy Ray couldn't take it. He shook his head and got up, going to the other side of the table. After some tugging and pulling, succeeded in turning Fraser's chair to the side. Ray climbed into his lap, straddling him. Fraser's arms wrapped around him tightly and Ray leaned against him, his mouth against Fraser's hair. He could feel how tightly wound Fraser was, his body hard and primed to go off.

"You want me, huh?" Ray whispered.

"Oh, yes," Fraser said against the hollow of Ray's throat, with an urgency that made Ray's pulse jump.

"And you want the job." Fraser went still and didn't answer. "Fraser? You want the job, right?"

Fraser answered like he was being forced to, at knifepoint. "If...if I were able..."

"Taking the job doesn't mean you'll lose me, you freak. Don't you know that?"

Fraser pulled back and looked up at Ray, tightening his arms around him. "I have no intention of seeing you only every two or three months, for a 36 hour weekend!"

"But in a perfect world..."

Fraser pushed Ray off his lap and stood up, taking a few measured steps away from the table before he turned around again, his gaze dark and unhappy. "But that's just it, Ray, we don't live in a perfect world. We have to make choices and make the best of what we have, and I've made my choice and that's the end of it."

"Oh, I see. You're the man in this relationship so the final decision is yours. I just need to go along, is that it?"

"Of course not. I only meant that the job offer is mine to accept or decline and that it's my decision to make."

Ray hadn't intended to get mad all over again, not after Fraser had fucked him so nicely, but all of a sudden, he was there again, his fist itching to take a swing at him again. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans to keep him from doing just that. "Well, excuse me, Fraser, for thinking that we had a partnership going here. Color me fucking shocked that it took so long to see that this is a dictatorship and you're El Presidente!"

"Oh, Ray, for God's sake!"

Ray waved his hand impatiently. "Shut up. Let me think," he said, closing his eyes for a moment. He didn't really need to think for long. Actually, he wasn't thinking, he already knew. There was only one solution. Just one. He'd been thinking about it since Wallace had dropped the bombshell and in the end, it was a much easier decision that Ray had imagined it would be.

Ray looked up and shook out his shoulders. "Okay. I'll go."

Fraser took so long to answer that Ray wondered if he had heard him. "What?" Fraser blurted out finally, looking a little pale.

"You take the job. I'll come with you." Again, nothing. Just the sound of a dog barking somewhere outside the window.

Ray started to frown. Fraser wasn't reacting like he thought he would. He was just staring at him, his eyes round and sort of glazed over. Ray swallowed hard, getting a panicky feeling in the pit of his stomach. Oh, God, he was dying here. "Th-that is, if you want me to come," Ray added tightly, feeling a rush of heat to his face.

It was the worst moment of his life.

Finally, Fraser moved. He closed the space between them, and took Ray's face in his hands and kissed him, long and hot and, Ray realized, with promise.

Ray pulled back. "Hey, wait a minute. That's it? You aren't going to argue with me about it?"

Fraser smiled back at him. "No, Ray."

"Okay, just checking." Ray held on to Fraser and kissed him back, smiling a little as he thought about a guy named Kowalski living in a place called Saskatchewan.

Maybe the world was more perfect than they thought.