Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply

Author's Notes: Written for Brooklinegirl, for ds_seekritsanta 2005.
Many, many thanks to china_shop for beta, hand-holding, and encouragement. Thanks also to shayheyred for setting me straight on a few important points.

As soon as Gardino let them into his apartment, Ray made a beeline for the kitchen. God, Gardino's fridge was pathetic. Half a jar of spiced gherkins, a couple of carry out containers, and a casserole dish covered with foil that was probably from his mom. There was food at home, of course, and no Stella (she'd gone off with some lawyer friends for the weekend), but it was hard to relax properly when you had to be careful of the fancy new furniture. And Louis had plenty of beer, at least. Ray grabbed one and wandered into the lounge, nearly tripping over the dead potted plant.

He watched as Louis scooped up the remote from the floor and clicked on the television, before flopping down onto the couch, patting the cushion beside him. On the screen something exploded, and a bunch of guys ran around whooping.

"See, we've only missed the first ten minutes."

And while Louis' addiction to the stupid show was famous, Ray'd thought they'd made their way back here from the party for entirely different reasons. He sat down and watched as Louis toed off the sequinned red pumps and stuck his feet up on the coffee table with a sigh. The movement caused petticoats and gingham to ride up, revealing that while the lower half of his legs had been shaved completely smooth (a fact that'd made it difficult for Ray to pay attention to anything else that evening), his upper legs were obscenely hairy beneath the pantihose he had on. Make that stockings, Ray thought, as he slid his hand up Louis' silk-clad thigh, and snagged his ring on one of those elastic strap things.

"Hey!" Louis gave him a half-hearted shove without actually knocking his hand away. "Don't interrupt the moment here." He gestured at the screen. "And I'm not going to do it in a dress, you kinky bastard."

"What?" Ray put his beer down on the table, and blinked at him, surprised. "Why not?" They'd been flirting all night. Louis had been leaning all over Ray for the last couple of hours, groping the back of Ray's thigh when no one was looking. Though come to think of it, that could've been the sheer number of beers they'd drunk. But they'd been flirting like they'd never done before. Usually it was all insults and jokes, and daring each other to do dumb stuff. That'd led to a quick handjob in the men's room at Kendall's, on one notorious occasion when they'd had a few too many.

And that's what Ray couldn't stop thinking about now, the feel of Louis' fingers tight around his cock that time, rushed and furtive. And now they were on Louis' couch and had time to go slow and have some fun, didn't have to be home because no one was there. So why did Louis want to watch the stupid A-Team?

Not to mention Louis was the one who'd put on a dress in the first place.

"Aww, honey. Don't play hard to get now." Ray wasn't sure whether it was just that he was buzzed, but the sight of Louis, with those half-shaved legs in stockings like Stella used to wear before she got sick of fussing with them; it was making his mouth dry and his dick hard.

"Fuck off, Kowalski. I'm not going to wear a dress for you just because your wife wears the trousers at home." Louis was trying to sound pissed, but it came out sounding kinda breathless and distracted, especially with the way his tongue flicked out over his lipsticked lips. Louis shifted on the couch, and Ray could feel the muscles in his thigh tremble beneath Ray's hand. They stared at each other, and Ray felt kind of breathless himself. Then Louis just sort of leaned back and his legs splayed, and a little grin lit his face like a gilt-edged invitation to a hooker's picnic.

Ray moved forward, pressing Louis sideways down on the couch, and plunged a hand under the skirts to grope his cock, tucked snugly into some silky, stretchy fabric - fuck! Damp where it was leaking. Ray gripped it tight, smirking at Louis' groan, at his face flushed with alcohol and lust.

"Who's the kinky bastard?" he teased, squeezing rhythmically. Louis groaned again, muttered, "Oh, fuck!" and came right then, in those fucking panties.

Ray collapsed forward and buried his face in Louis' neck, giggling helplessly. Louis' face was now flushed with embarrassment; he was cursing, and it took a couple of minutes for him to recover and get a grip on Ray's shoulders. Ray was still laughing too hard to protest as Louis gave him a hard shove, and then Ray was on the floor, nearly knocking his head on the coffee table.

Before he could take a breath, Louis was undoing Ray's pants, tugging his worn boxers down over his hips, letting his cock free.

"What are you doing?" Ray tried to sound coy. He didn't know why he was still yanking Louis' chain, but he couldn't help it. It was the way this thing between them worked.

Looking up from where he was curled over Ray's crotch, Louis drawled, "If you can't work that out, Detective... maybe they should take away your shiny new badge!"

"But...I'm married," spluttered Ray, injecting a note of outraged virtue into his voice. And maybe that was just mean, because "You're married!" was what Louis had yelped that first time Ray'd stuck a hand down Louis' pants.

"Well then," Louis made as if to get up, "Why don't you go home and get your wife to suck you off?"

Ray'd taken it too far this time, he knew. Louis was weird about Stella, and Ray's flexibility. So Ray lowered his eyelashes and smiled silkily, clenching his fingers in Louis' hair, sticky with the stuff he'd used to keep the wig on, holding him in place. "Nah, you're there already. Might as well get on with it." For a moment he thought his attempt at charming the bad mood out of Louis had failed, and that burned a little in his chest. But then Louis bent down and licked a broad stripe up the underside of his cock, and laughed as Ray squeezed his eyes shut.

It was good, it was so good. Could a blowjob ever not be good? Louis mouthed the head, and Ray couldn't help thrusting up a little. Louis took the opportunity to pull his pants down further, while at the same time taking Ray's cock right into his mouth.

Ray tried to hang on, tried to save face, but then Louis was sucking him fast and hard, one hand tugging at his balls, and in an embarrassingly short time his hips arched up and he came hard enough to see stars, the sparks rushing through him from his toenails up to the tips of his ears. His head thunked back onto the floor.

Louis, the bastard, sat up, smirking triumphantly at Ray, who lay there gasping, with his pants round his ankles. Wiping a hand over his mouth, Louis reached up for Ray's beer and took a triumphant swallow. He leaned over to pull a piece of straw out of Ray's hair, throwing it at him. On the tv screen the cheesy theme song was playing under the credits.

"So," Ray panted. "The dress thing was not so bad."

"Asshole." Louis gave Ray's knee a half-hearted smack. "The heels are a bitch. Next time we go to a fancy dress party, I'm going as the Tin Man."