Disclaimer: The characters all belong to Alliance.

Story Notes: You learn of the death of a character.

A LETTER FROM HOME By Savannah Heath Rated PG Disclaimer: Alliance owns due South and its characters. Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski I will always believe that good things come to those who wait, but as Ray would say, sometimes fate needs a helping hand. I had been in Chicago for over three years. I had lived at the Consulate for the last year so when I got back to Canada after catching Muldoon, I decided I needed a real place to live. I was posted to Yellowknife but I spend most of my time traveling to the further flung parts of the Territories. Every time I returned to Yellowknife I would look for a place to live; a real place. Not just an apartment. I wanted a small house. I wanted a home. But the places I saw, well, they were not what I needed. I heard from a few of my Chicago friends from time to time. Francesca wrote quite often. I even got a couple of letters from Lt. Welsh. But I never heard from Ray. When I returned to Yellowknife just after Easter I had a whole stack of mail. When I saw the letter postmarked Chicago I opened it first. "Dear Frase: How are you? I've called your outpost in Yellowknife several times and they always say they don't know when you'll be back so finally (I think they got tired of me calling) they suggested I write. Well here goes. I'm sorry. I know I owe you more than just an apology. I owe you an explanation. After we got back to Yellowknife last year I panicked. I saw your life. I saw the way you just need to be in that place. I was terrified that I'd never fit in. I'm a Chicago flatfoot. I ain't good for much else. I never loved anybody before Stella and well you know how great that worked out. Anyway, I knew that I'd find a way to kill your love for me, too. I wanted you. I still want you everyday and every night. Especially at night. I find I can't sleep for thinking of you. You did nothing wrong. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I just couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that you could love me, could want me. So I did what I do best. I ran away. I left without even saying good-bye. I was afraid. No, I knew you'd be able to talk me out of it and I convinced myself I was doing this for your sake. I'm crazy. Completely. I threw us away and think I'm being noble. Bullshit. I'm being stupid as usual. By the time I reached Toronto I was sorry. But I wouldn't turn around and good back. I couldn't, so I returned to Chicago and I got my old job back. Did you know Stella married the real Ray Vecchio? They live in Florida and have a kid on the way. Huey was killed trying to stop a robbery at a bodega when he was off duty. That happened last week. I pause reading and look at the date on the letter. Feb 28th, three weeks ago. Then I go back to the letter. After Huey's funeral, Lt. Welsh, Dewey and I were sitting around talking and Dewey suddenly asked about you. He said do you ever hear from the Mountie? And when I said no I hadn't heard from you since I got back, they both just looked at me like I was crazy, which, of course, I am. Then Lt. Welsh says, "You know Ray, I always thought you were, well, in love with Fraser." And I just sat there and started to cry. The Leu and Dewey just sat there and finally Dewey (Dewey of all people) says "Love don't come along often enough for you to turn your back on it". Then he just gets up and leaves. The Leu says, "You ought to call Fraser." So that is when I started trying to get in touch with you. Look, I know I'm the world's biggest fool but I love you and I have always loved you (and not like a brother). I love you like I should have loved Stella but never did. I cared for her. I loved her but not like I love you. I was so afraid of that love that I ran away. Well, I'm ready to run home now. If you will let me know when you receive this letter where my home is. I will know where to go. With all my love, forever Your Ray I read the letter twice and cried each time. I looked at the clock. It would be 4:30 pm in Chicago. Ray would still be at the 27th. I dialed the number. "Kowalski, talk to me." "Ray." "Frase?" Is it really you?" "It's me. And Ray I got your letter. Home is here in Yellowknife for a few more weeks and then I'm being reposted to Inuik. I think your home is with Dief and me. What do you think?" "Can you come and help me move?" "I go on leave tomorrow. I'll be in Chicago the day after. Start packing. Oh and Ray, I love you too. And not like a brother. I love you like the sun after a very long winter and I need you." `I need you. I'm counting the hours. Call me with your flight numbers. We'll drive back so just get a one way ticket." "Ray." "Yes." "This is where the real adventure begins." "Greatness." Home is where Ray is. Now I can find a home.