Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer. Dear Alliance, I would much appreciate the chance to let the boys out of the attic <ahem, closet> for a little airing and <un>straightening. Please send comments, questions, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@yahoo.com.

Author's Notes:
Takes place in the Manna universe, meaning Ray never went undercover, and since we all know Shannon likes them wet, they can share the blame.

Story Notes:

It was raining outside. Hard rain, the kind that hurt when it hit you and even with an umbrella, you were going to get wet. Ray was still outside, and he didn't have an umbrella. Ben had tried to get him to come back inside, but one look from Ray had told him that he wasn't welcome. Well, that wasn't exactly true. Not unwelcome, but painful.

Yes, he was painful. He understood why, although it hurt to know that he caused Ray pain, had caused Ray even more pain three years ago. The rain was fitting, a somber reminder of the incident both in spirit and in phantom twinges of old wounds.

Victoria. He couldn't say her name. Not for himself, he'd made his peace with her memory during his hospital stay. To say it he'd have to apologize, but that would imply that saying her name could still hurt Ray. Ray had been hurt enough.

They'd never discussed it directly: the pool game, the train, the shooting. They spoke about it, when necessary, in euphemisms and innuendoes and most importantly, they never said her name. She remained a ghost in their joint past.

Morbid thoughts made him stand up and join his best friend and lover outside. He didn't let the look scare him away this time, praying that in causing Ray pain he could cauterize the wounds once and for all.

"I shot you."

It was then that he realized that it wouldn't be that easy. It had never been settled, Ray's wounds were still bleeding. His pathetic attempts to regain his pride had caused him to hurt the best friend he'd ever had over and over again. While he was trying to avoid thinking about Victoria, Ray had been left to deal with the aftermath by himself, and he had come to the wrong conclusions.

"I'm glad you did," he said, taking off the stetson and placing it on Ray's head to give him some protection from the oppressive rain.

He felt the rain on his face now, could feel it on his eyelashes as he blinked. He felt Ray's stare as well, and the adorable sight of Ray wearing his stetson almost made him smile at his own territorial imperative. Ray was his, and the specter of Victoria would no longer keep him away.

Putting out a hand and trusting his instincts that Ray would follow, he went inside.

Once inside he headed for the bathroom, where they shared a hot shower until Ray yawned tiredly. Dressing quietly and quickly he headed for the bedroom, again knowing that Ray would follow.

They were resting on the bed then, Ray spooned up behind him. One hand was forming a pillow under his head, the other arm was wrapped around his waist, hand tucked protectively under his shirt. Rubbing gently, the hand lulled him to sleep, rising and falling with his own soothing, regular breaths. As Ray joined him in sleep, the hand stilled, coming to rest over his heart. "Mine?"

"Yours."

Def Leppard, "Breathe A Sigh"
Let me down slow and easy
'Cause there ain't nothing I can do
I hope and pray my faith won't leave me When it comes down to me and you

Try a little tenderness
I die a little
For a long lost sweet caress
You lying next to me
Fulfilled some destiny
I wanna cry
But I breathe a sigh
Just a little bit of letting go
I don't want you to know
I wanna cry
But I breathe a sigh

Overflow of emotion
And a hurt that'll never heal
If you close the door forever
The fate of pain is sealed

I more than long for your affection
I tell you now that that ain't so
Not even gentle persuasion
Is ever gonna let me go

End Deep Water by silvina: sdelcul@yahoo.com

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