Author's website: http://www.geocities.com/khristaz

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own thoughts.

Author's Notes: Special thanks to M-A for beta work, and Erika for the paddle.

Story Notes: This is the third part in my Homecoming Trilogy, after 'Distance' and 'Closer'.
In this series, Ray's undercover assignment ends naturally, and the events of Call of the Wild didn't happen.

This story is a sequel to: Distance; Closer

HOME

Ray Vecchio sat outside the darkened Consulate, feeling horribly cramped in the tiny car provided to him by the Feds. He wasn't quite ready, though, to leave the relatively safe haven of the vehicle. He glanced over at the building once more, noting the contrasts between this Consulate and the previous one; this structure was darker, more somber, with a heavy iron fence and gate and thick wooden doors. He couldn't imagine anyone willingly living in such a cold place ... though, of course, cold was right up Fraser's alley. It sure beat the hell out of his old rat-infested apartment, anyway.

Fraser. His heart clenched as he thought of his lover... or rather, ex-lover, since he couldn't imagine even the Mountie keeping his feelings too warm for a man who'd walked out on him without so much as a by-your-leave. According to his replacement, the improbably-named Stanley Kowalski, Fraser was living in his office, in the very building Ray was watching, probably asleep by now, tangled up in his Hudson blanket, his hair mussed, breathing softly... Ray fairly ached to run into that inhospitable place, gather Fraser into his arms and make sweet love to him until the last two years just melted into oblivion.

Of course, that wasn't an option. Not anymore, not since he'd told Fraser he wouldn't be picking him up at the station an eternity ago. It had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, harder even than the atrocities he'd had to witness, and commit, in Vegas: telling Fraser that he'd be in touch as a friend, when just being Fraser's 'friend' was the last thing he'd wanted. He knew, though, that his love for his partner would be the greatest liability to his undercover work. The Feds had known this too, and to their credit, they'd let him sort through it on his own. He knew full well, however, that it was something they'd bring out to 'persuade' him, if he came to the wrong decision. And he'd managed to do it, too - he'd put all thoughts of his warm and passionate lover out of his mind, except for occasional early-morning daydreams, and the one postcard he'd recklessly sent, the hidden picture with the request that Fraser 'warm him up'. He had felt so cold in the heat of the desert... But he'd taken the love he felt and locked it away tightly within himself, hidden away, protected against the ugliness of his undercover life. It had been the one thing that had sustained him in all those horrifying months, that had kept him from losing his soul altogether.

It had been an illusion, though; nothing but the memory of a love he'd let slip away, and now he had to face Fraser, face the disappointment and hurt he was bound to find in those beloved blue eyes. He'd have to face the truth, that the love Fraser might once have felt for him was gone. He was going to have to throw that dream away, and with it lose the last pieces of himself.

He steeled himself to expect the worst and had just opened the car door when a white shape entered his field of vision. With a smile of affection and amusement he watched as Diefenbaker trotted up the sidewalk, stopping to sniff the odd patch of grass and, finally, marking the Consulate gate. Ray's breath caught in his throat when a well-remembered voice cut through the darkness, chiding the wolf.

"Do we have to go through this every evening, Dief? It is not seemly for a member of the Consular staff to be seen urinating onto the premises. You don't see Constable Turnbull or myself..."

The voice cut off abruptly as Dief, completely unpenitent, lifted his muzzle and furiously sniffed the air; and before Ray could do anything, the wolf had taken off like a shot, headed directly for him.

Benton Fraser sighed as he watched his wolf cavorting through the park. It was a sight that always made him a little sad; Diefenbaker was meant to have a huge expanse of flora and fauna to play in, not little plots of man-made nature in the middle of all this steel and concrete. So was he, for that matter.

Contrary to popular belief, he didn't hate living in Chicago. While it was true that Canada's northern wilderness would always be home to him, it was a cold and lonely place, whereas in the city he had friends, plus an adopted family that cared deeply for him and that he loved in return. But over the past few years he'd come to realize that friendly affection wasn't nearly enough for him, not anymore. Not since he'd known the joys of a warm and loving relationship, one that had made him feel more cherished and happier than he could remember being since the death of his mother.

He felt a familiar sadness at the thought of Ray so far from Chicago. Not a day had passed since that awkward phone call that he didn't fear for Ray's safety, or long for the comfort of his arms. Oh, he knew why Ray had had to go. He, of all people, clearly understood the pressing call of one's duty. Raymond Vecchio was a good, compassionate man with a strong sense of justice, despite his occasional grumbling; Fraser knew that he would do his all to help fight the horrors of organised crime, especially since it was a faction Ray had been battling against, and losing to, for most of his life.

That didn't mean, though, that he didn't miss Ray with every fibre of his being, or desperately want him back in Chicago, in his arms, in his bed. It was a source of constant torment to Fraser to know that he might never have his wish fulfilled. Certainly, the undercover job was a very dangerous one, risking both Ray's life and, perhaps, even his sanity. Fraser could only imagine what Ray's duties with the mafia might include... it would take a very strong man to come out of that situation unscathed.

Would Ray even want him back when he returned? He was fairly certain that Ray had been as happy with their relationship as he had, though they had kept it a secret from everyone else. It had crossed Fraser's mind more than once in the past two years that Ray might have been fleeing him, might have finally succumbed to over thirty years of Catholic Italian upbringing and cast aside his male lover for a more traditional, acceptable way of life. Such thoughts had not lived long in his mind, though; Ray was not the type to simply run away from his problems. But time changes people, and he had no assurances that Ray would want to rekindle their relationship after such a long time spent apart. Fraser would welcome him back with open arms, of course, but he'd learned long ago that his own feelings rarely mattered: however much he might love someone, they eventually, invariably, left him.

With a sigh he rose from his bench, gesturing in the last of the evening light for Diefenbaker to join him. He knew that his new partner, Ray Kowalski, was concerned about the dark moods Fraser found himself in more and more often these days - moping, Kowalski called them, and Fraser had to admit that was exactly what he was doing. He missed Ray so much that it seemed like a physical ache at times. Facing another long, lonely night in his cramped consular office didn't help, either.

Fraser and Dief walked the few short blocks to the Consulate in silence, the Mountie watching with resigned disapproval as the wolf once again defaced Canadian territory. He knew from past experience that it was no use to argue; he tried anyway.

In the middle of his admonishment, though, he paused, startled, as Diefenbaker sniffed the air for a moment then sped off across the street. With a puzzled frown, he followed the wolf's trajectory, his gaze coming to rest on a nondescript dark car parked by the curb, and the very familiar figure crouched down and being thoroughly licked by Dief.

Fraser's breath caught in his throat, his heart lurched, and a single word burst from his lips.

"Ray!"

For once in his life, Ray didn't mind wolf hair on his clothes. Or wolf spit on his face, for that matter. He welcomed Diefenbaker's joyful greeting with genuine delight, ruffling a hand through the soft white fur, happy that at least one person was unconditionally glad to see him back. Then a well-known voice called out, and his world stood still. "Ray!"

With an inward cringe he slowly stood and lifted his gaze to the man standing pale and shocked across the street. 'Oh God,' he thought miserably. 'He doesn't want to see me. What are you even doing here, Ray? Breaking his heart all over again? Breaking yours?'

Without speaking, Ray crossed over to face Fraser. They stood in silence, neither man daring to move, their eyes locked. Finally, Ray spoke.

"Hey, Benny."

"Ray," Fraser repeated, softer this time, a little wonder in his voice, as if he couldn't believe that Ray was really there. 'Oh, Benny, what have I done?' He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to pull Fraser into his arms and never let him go.

Instead, he said, "So, Benny, how've you been?"

He wanted to smack himself in the head with a blunt object, repeatedly and with great force. Two years apart and that's all he could come up with to say to Fraser?

"Good, Ray. I've been good."

"Keeping busy?" Where was a baseball bat when you needed one?

"Yup."

Ray was beginning to think that they were going to be stuck there on the dark sidewalk for hours without communicating a single piece of real information, when a sharp bark from Diefenbaker brought them both back to reality. Fraser blinked as if he'd just awakened, then cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, Ray. Would you like to come in? I was going to make some tea, or perhaps you're hungry..." he trailed off, looking a little lost.

Ray knew exactly how he felt. "Yeah, Benny, thanks; tea's fine."

He followed Mountie and wolf into the Consulate and through to the back of the building, not speaking until he found himself seated at the large kitchen table, a cup of steaming chamomile tea and a plate of cookies in front of him. He smiled slightly: some things never changed.

"So tell me, Ray," Fraser was saying, not looking up from stirring his tea. "How was your assignment? I assume that, since you're back, the job went well?"

Well? Maybe not the word he'd use, but now was not the time to discuss that. "Oh, yeah, Benny, it did. We brought down most of the DiTullio operations in Vegas, and we got enough goombahs rolling over on Lenny "The Iguana" DiTullio himself to keep him in jail 'till his grand kids are old and gray."

And strange, wasn't it, how he didn't feel a bit of pride at any of it? Fraser looked impressed, though; he supposed that should count for something.

"You did a good job, Ray."

"I guess," he answered softly.

"You got your man," Fraser added, and the wave of despair that had been threatening to crash over Ray did so with a vengeance.

"You got your man."

Fraser had meant the comment as a joke, but he regretted it immediately when he saw the pain in Ray's face.

"Ray?" he asked, alarmed, shocked to see the glint of tears in the other man's eyes. Ray shook his head, turning away.

"No, Benny, I didn't. I lost my man. I lost him two f-fucking years ago."

Fraser stared at those slender, trembling shoulders, horrified and speechless. Was this what Ray had been thinking all this time? That Fraser had abandoned him, had somehow lost his love for him? He felt a momentary burst of anger that Ray could think him so shallow and unfeeling as to give up on what they'd had without even hearing Ray's side of the story. The anger was quickly pushed aside, though, by a wave of compassion. He rose from his chair and made his way around the table to stand behind Ray, who by now had dropped his head in his hands. He heard the whispered "I'm so sorry, Benny", and his heart melted.

"Oh, Ray," he said, laying his hands lightly on the other man's shoulders, wishing he could ease the tension in Ray's taut muscles. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I of all people understand the pull of one's duty."

Ray snorted. "Duty? Benny, how could I believe duty was more important than what we had? That any criminal could be bad enough to lose 'us' over?"

Fraser closed his eyes, trying desperately to find the right words to say to heal the other man's wounds. "Ray, please believe me. I know this was something you had to do; it's something you've been working towards all your life. The Ray Vecchio I know and love would not have been able to let this opportunity pass, no matter what the cost to himself; he's simply not that selfish."

Ray glanced up at that, hope warring with despair in his eyes. "Love? Benny, how can you still love me after all this?"

Fraser moved to kneel in front of Ray, holding the hazel eyes with his own. "Because, Ray, you are the most courageous, generous, strong, and compassionate man I've ever met. I promise you that the only thing you've lost here is time, which I'm sure we can make up for adequately."

Ray was staring at him now with huge, shocked eyes. "Jesus, Benny!" he whispered, and Fraser felt a moment of unease. Despite the emotions he could see in Ray's face, the fact that Ray had come back to Chicago didn't necessarily mean that he'd come back to Fraser...

"That is," he added uncertainly, "if you want to."

'If I want to? The man is kneeling there in front of me, looking all honest and gorgeous and Mountie-like, telling me he'll pretend like I didn't throw away the last two years, If I Want To?'

He reached over and grasped Fraser's shoulders, pulling them both up to their feet, moving his hands up to cup that beautiful, beautiful face. "Oh, yes, Benny, I want to." Then, slowly, still not believing that this could actually be happening, that Fraser could still love him, want him, he drew his lover to him and pressed their lips together. The kiss was brief, almost chaste, but the quick contact sent a surge of emotion through him which only intensified as Fraser's arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling them even closer.

A shuddering sob escaped him and he returned the tight embrace, burying his face in the strong shoulder before him. "I love you so much, Benny!"

"Ray," came the husky reply. "Oh, Ray, I missed you so." Strong hands gently grasped his head, cradling his cheeks and pulling up until Fraser could once again claim Ray's mouth.

Ohhh yes, this was what he'd been craving for the past two years, this connection he felt with Fraser. Instantly he wanted more, wanted to 'connect' with him on all sorts of different levels, and he was beginning to realize that, this time, his wish just might be fulfilled.

He felt Fraser's tongue brush his lips, tentatively, asking permission. As if Ray had ever been able to deny him anything! He greeted that questing tongue and drew it deeply into his own mouth, suckling it gently, his actions a promise of even better things to come. Lack of oxygen finally forced the two men apart, and they clung to each other, gasping for breath, hearts pounding. Fraser was staring at him, his eyes wide and dark with arousal.

"I want you, Ray."

The words sent a jolt right to Ray's groin, and he raised his hand to gently cup Fraser's face, gazing intently back at him.

"You got me, Benny, now and for however long you can stand me being around. I promise I'll never leave you again."

The emotion he saw in Fraser's eyes nearly blew him away ... and that particular thought sent all sorts of delicious images spinning in his brain. Pressing one last kiss to Fraser's lips, he quickly knelt, his hands unfastening his lover's jeans with practised skill. Fraser barely had time to gasp in surprise before Ray reached into the taut denim and cotton, and had drawn out the rapidly hardening penis within. Greeting it like a long-lost friend, he reverently ran the tip of his tongue along the bottom of the shaft, swiping at the testicles below with gentle licks.

From somewhere above him he heard Fraser's shuddering moan, and the Mountie's strong hands cradled Ray's head, clenching almost painfully as he moved up slightly and drew Fraser's cockhead into his mouth.

"Ray!" the name exploded from his lover's lips. "Oh, God, Ray!" Encouraged, Ray took in even more of the hot, hard cock, alternating between suction and slow licks, the way he knew Fraser liked it best.

A sharp tug on his head brought him back to reality and he realized that Fraser was speaking to him. "Ray ... oh, Ray, please ... please stop."

He instantly relinquished his prize, mentally cursing himself for his impetuous actions. Fraser had forgiven him for leaving, but he couldn't just assume the Mountie would want him back as a lover, at least not so quickly.

"God, Benny!" he said as he got to his feet. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it."

"That's ... that's quite all right, Ray. I wasn't complaining; I just thought we should move to a more comfortable location."

Ray stared at Fraser. "Benny? You really want this?"

"Oh yes, Ray," Fraser said huskily. "I don't think I've wanted anything more in my life."

Ray's eyes widened at those words, and for the first time in two years his face lit up with a smile of pure joy. He drew Fraser in for another deep kiss, pulling away just enough to whisper against his lips. "You got something that passes for a bed in this place, Benny?"

Frase's face reddened, with embarrassment or arousal Ray couldn't tell. "Actually, I have a cot which, while functional, would probably not be adequate for ..." he trailed off, a strange expression on face.

"Yes, Ray," he said suddenly and decisively. "There is a bed here." Without a further word he grabbed Ray's hand, leading him purposefully out of the kitchen, around to the lobby and up the ornate staircase. They stopped before a large oak door which Fraser unlocked and swung open without hesitation.

Ray glanced inside, curious, and gasped in surprise and delight. "Holy cow, Benny! This is your room?"

"Well, no." Fraser answered, a bit sheepishly. "This is the Queen's bedroom; it's reserved for visiting dignitaries, should they happen to stay at the Consulate overnight."

Ray felt oddly self-conscious. "Uh huh. Benny, I'm no VIP. Won't you get in trouble with the Dragon Lady for bringing a commoner up here?"

Fraser smiled. "To me, Ray, you surpass royalty. There could be no one more important than you. And as for the Drag... Inspector Thatcher, she won't be back until Monday, so ... well," he looked down, his face reddening, "... screw her."

Ray's jaw dropped. "Benton Fraser! Soapy mouth time for you, young man!"

Fraser chuckled. "I assure you, Ray, I can think of more enjoyable things to put in my mouth right now than soap." With that, he drew Ray into the large room with its ornate dressers and, more importantly, its be-ruffled Queen-sized bed.

After two years of luxury in Vegas, the splendor of the room didn't impress Ray as much as the knowledge that now, finally, he was going to get to make love with Fraser in a setting the act deserved. Since their previous lovemaking had been confined to nights of passion in Fraser's cramped bed, fumbling make-out sessions in the Riv and one brief, guilty tussle in Ray's room in the Vecchio house, Ray relished the thought of being able to have the time and opportunity to worship Fraser's body in a setting it so richly deserved.

Starting now. He reached over, ran a hand lightly over Fraser's shoulders and began unbuttoning his lover's flannel shirt, waving Fraser's hands away from Ray's own dark silk one. With care, he slowly bared his lover's smooth chest, running his fingers lightly along the soft skin, feathering the tips over pink, hardening nipples, leaning in for a taste.

"Ray!"

He swirled his tongue around one tight nub, continuing to stroke and pull at the other with his fingers. Finally, he drew the bud between his lips, nibbling lightly, thrilled to hear Fraser's gasp of pleasure, to feel the arch of that perfect body towards him.

Suddenly, his own shirt was being unbottoned, his undershirt tugged over his head. Hot hands now trailed over his own torso, caressing his shoulders, brushing over his nipples, exploring his chest hair. It felt like an eternity since he'd kissed Fraser, and he reached for him, drawing their bodies together, revelling in the feel of skin on skin - not nearly enough skin, though; he'd have to take care of that.

Fraser's capable hands were now tracing patterns on his back, dipping down every so often to stroke and cup his buttocks, and he ground himself against his lover, the thrust of his tongue into that hot mouth in synch with the thrust of his groin against Fraser's.

Fraser moaned at the delicious sensations Ray's body was creating in him. So long, it had been so long. He'd been dreaming of this, aching for this for two years, and now he needed to kiss, to touch, to taste as much of his lover as he could. With a last, deep kiss he pulled away, his hands reaching down to fumble at Ray's belt. Ray drew a shuddering breath and gasped, "Oh yeah, Benny," as he got the pants undone, pushing them - and the silk shorts beneath them - to the floor.

He looked down at Ray with unabashed admiration, taking in every inch of that well-remembered and well-loved body. He glanced up again to find Ray watching him, amused. "Your turn, Caro," he said, and Ray's hands were on his jeans, unzipping them for the second time that evening.

When they were both naked, Fraser took Ray's hand, leading him to the bed and lowering them both onto the soft surface. He was immediately drawn into Ray's arms and they shared another passionate kiss, their bodies touching everywhere, their cocks sliding slickly together.

"Oh, Benny, I want you so bad," Ray whispered into Fraser's mouth, reaching down to take their erections in his hand. Fraser felt a searing pleasure as his lover thrust, and stroked, and kissed him. All too soon, he felt himself soaring towards his climax ... when Ray suddenly stopped. Fraser let out a groan of frustration, and Ray chuckled gently.

"Gotta do it slow, Benny. I've been waiting for this too long to have it end so quickly."

He was right - of course he was right. Fraser wanted it slow and sweet, too, but his treacherous body was demanding that exquisite pleasure again, now dammit, and Ray ... Ray was speaking again, saying something like ... Oh, dear Lord!

"What, Ray?" he asked, not sure he'd heard correctly, praying he had.

"I said, I want you to fuck me, Benny. All this time, the only thing that kept me sane was thinking about how much I love you, and how good you feel inside me, and seeing as how I'm not the patient one in this relationship, I'm not going to wait any longer for you to fmmh--!"

Fraser couldn't let Ray finish that sentence - not unless he wanted to come explosively, right then and there, and deny Ray what he wanted. Instead, he covered Ray's mouth with his own, plunging his tongue deep into that warm haven as he reached down to grasp Ray's hard cock once more. Ray gasped, arching his hips into the touch, and Fraser moved his mouth down to suckle at a sensitive spot on Ray's neck. His strokes on Ray's cock grew more rapid, and when he felt his lover had reached his limit he sucked harder, his hand tightening on the pulsing shaft as Ray cried out in ecstasy, his semen spilling out across Fraser's hand and his own chest.

Ignoring his own arousal for the moment, Fraser watched raptly as Ray came down from his pleasure-induced high, lost for a moment in the sheer beauty of the man. Finally, green eyes opened and looked at him fuzzily. "Geez, Benny," Ray said with a satisfied grin. "What the hell was that?"

"That was just the beginning, Ray," Fraser promised with a smile of his own, and swooped down for another kiss while his hand trailed through the liquid heat pooled on Ray's body. Ray picked up on his thoughts, and he moaned, raising his knees and parting his legs to give Fraser easier access. Bending slightly, Fraser drew one of Ray's nipples into his mouth, at the same time reaching down to slip one slick finger into Ray's ass.

"Yessss," he hissed as Fraser added a second finger, stroking deeper into Ray, searching for that small nub ... and then Ray cried out "Benny!", bucking his hips in time with Fraser's caress of his prostate. "Please, Benny! In me, Caro - fuck me now!"

There was no earthly way Fraser could ignore that plea. He moved around to kneel between Ray's spread legs, lifting Ray's hips a little higher and positioning his aching erection at the entrance to his lover's body. "Are you ready, Ray?"

Ray's emphatic answer, while spoken in Italian, was clear enough to Fraser, and slowly, gently, he eased his way inside. It had been so long, too long, since they'd done this, but Ray was relaxed from his earlier orgasm, and Fraser encountered no resistance as he sank further and further into Ray.

After what seemed like an eternity, Fraser was fully sheathed in Ray's channel. He paused, giving Ray a chance to adjust to him, and allowing himself a moment to cherish this rejoining. An impatient sound from Ray signalled his readiness to continue, and Fraser bent down to kiss him again before rolling his hips slowly forward. Twin moans filled the room as their bodies moved together, Ray rising to meet his thrusts. Ray's head was thrown back, his lips moving in endless repetition, "Oh God, Benny, please, Benny, love you, Benny", his hands clenching rhythmically on Fraser's shoulders.

Surrounded by the clinging heat of Ray's ass, soft words of passion ringing in his ears, Fraser felt himself once again soaring towards his climax. Wanting to share that joy with his lover, he reached for Ray's renewed erection, stroking it in time with their lovemaking. Ray's cries became a litany of "Benny, Benny, BENNY!" He arched his back, his inner muscles clenching tightly around Fraser's own spasming cock, and Fraser shouted his lover's name as he spent his seed deep within him.

Ray gasped as the pleasure slowly ebbed from his body. Above him, Fraser shuddered once more, only strength of will keeping him from dropping heavily onto the bed, and onto Ray. With a smile, Ray wrapped his arms around Fraser, easing him down gently. He tried to hide the whimper of disappointment that escaped as Fraser slipped out of him; Fraser heard it anyway, and Ray found himself caught up in a strong embrace. With a contented sigh he laid his head on the shoulder beneath him, wrapping an arm around Fraser's waist.

He felt Fraser's hands rubbing soothing circles over his back, heard his soft voice murmur, "Ray?"

"Yeah, Benny?"

"I'm glad you're home."

Ray told himself firmly that now was not the time for tears; he was sure he'd have plenty of chances to bawl his eyes out over the next couple of weeks. So he blinked back the sudden wetness in his eyes, and chuckled instead. "So am I, Benny. So am I." He tightened his hold on his lover, snuggling down comfortably in Fraser's embrace, and for the first time in much too long, Ray Vecchio sank down into a sweet, dreamless sleep.

End Home by Sylvie Grenon: khristaz@yahoo.com

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