Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer. No one's gonna trust them with me after this anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Please send comments, questions, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@yahoo.com

Author's Notes: Seventh in the Getting what you want, getting what you need series. (7/9)

Story Notes:

This story is a sequel to: Have a nice day

Well baby, there you stand
With your little head, down in your hand Oh my God, you can't believe it's happening again Your baby's gone, and you're all alone and it looks like the end.
--The Eagles, "Wasted Time"--

A knock on the door startled him out of staring at the wall. "Come in."

At first he thought he was hallucinating, because it looked like Ray. "Ray?"

It nodded.

Ray! It was really him. He was here. In his excitement he stood up and crossed the room, arms opening to hold Ray and never let him go again.

His heart broke when Ray sidestepped neatly out of his way with a curt, "Don't."

Scared that any further move from him would push Ray away, he sat down. "I'm sorry, Ray."

Ray was shaking his head before he was finished. "That's not why I'm here."

"What can I do for you?" Something. Anything.

"It's about Sarah."

"She's not here."

"Of course not, Fraser. I checked with Social Services when you didn't answer my note."

That gave him hope. Obviously Ray still cared, no matter how strongly he argued. That was the thing about Ray. When he was annoyed he got loud. When he was aggravated he was louder. It was only when he was really angry, really hurt that he got quiet. Ray wasn't yelling at him anymore. And that scared him more than anything.

"She's back in Texas with Ms. Fayson. The police there are hoping to find her father."

"And if they don't?"

"She will remain a ward of the state until she turns eighteen or until her family can be found."

"You could have kept her, fought for her."

"Sarah belongs with her family."

"We were her family."

You left, he wanted to say. Wisely, he didn't. He didn't want to repeat the other harsh truth, but stupidly he did. "She wasn't mine."

"Family isn't blood. Fraser. Family is heart."

"The court felt-"

"The courts don't know anything."

"The social worker advised-"

Ray sighed, and that was familiar, but the lack of usually present amused suffering in his voice wasn't. "I remember when Frannie's husband left. She cried and cried for days. Angie came over, cause she was still part of the family and she said something to her that I haven't thought about since then. She said, "Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. That's worthwhile advice. Not some social worker who doesn't know anything."

"I didn't mean to be reckless, Ray."

Ray sighed again. It sounded painful. "I know."

It was a minor admission, but he grabbed onto it with desperation.

"I love you, Ray."

"I know."

He waited but Ray wasn't saying anything more. "That's it?"

"What would you like me to say, Fraser?"

Call me Benny. You haven't called me Benny in ages. Again desperation hit him hard. "Tell me you don't love me and make me believe it."

He wanted to get a rise out of Ray, a reaction of some kind, but Ray shrugged and remained calm and distant. "I love you. Simple as that. I probably always will. You've done a lot for me."

"I don't understand."

Ray smiled, but it was a painful smile. "Love doesn't end when you make a mistake, Fraser, it ends when it hurts more than it heals."

End Out of Reach by silvina: sdelcul@yahoo.com

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