Author's website: http://www.mrks.org/~viridian/

Disclaimer: All things _due South_ belong to Alliance no matter how much I want Ray K to belong to me. No infringement intended. Suing me would be a waste of time. Besides, I'd just kick you in the head.

Author's Notes: Reading Shrift's "Refraction" was an inspiration, but I've always loved Ray in kohl and going-out black. Hey, I've had him like that in part of "Nevermore" since March 2000. Since "Nevermore" isn't anywhere near close to being done

Story Notes: Small nod to "The Ladies Man."

"`Morning, Fraser," Ray said as I let Dief and myself into the car.

"So it is."

"Wise guy." Ray sounded tired, as he had for the last few days. No, that wasn't quite right. He sounded simply tired now, whereas he'd sounded irritable and tired for the last few days. Something had blunted the sharp edge of his temper.

He briefly turned to face me, showing darker smudges than usual under his eyes. The remnants of black kohl. Eyeliner. He'd worn eyeliner recently. He'd gone out last night. Gone out and--

Then he nodded and started the car, missing me sliding unwillingly into a daydream. Well, daydream in that it happened during the day, but the fantasy itself was full of night.

Ray opened the door of his apartment and saw me waiting there for him. "Fraser, how'd you get in here?" he asked, his darkly smudged eyes closing. His clothing matched the kohl smeared around his eyes, all black, but it was tight, hugging and in some places constricting his body. Leather pants, boots, cotton T-shirt, all clinging to him.... His lips looked redder than usual, almost swollen.

"I let myself in. I worry about you."

"That's sweet. Thanks. You can go home now though." His voice sounded rough, almost sore.

My concern and lust entwined, I stood and approached him. "You don't have to go to strangers for what you need."

"How can you know what I need? And you think you can give it to me?"

This close he smelled of cigarette smoke, sweat, alcohol, and sex. He just about reeked of human musk, making my knees weak and my mouth water. My Ray, lost and sullied by others. "I do. I can."

The smudged kohl made his eyes seem almost bruised. "Show me."

I grabbed him and kissed him, pressing my body to his, fingers slipping across his sweat-soaked shirt. He opened his mouth to me and grabbed me as well, one hand sliding down the small of my back and under the waistband of my jeans as he--

"Fraser. Fraser."

Heated night and overheated flesh fled, to be replaced by a cooler, far more mundane day. In despoiling my daydream Ray, I'd ignored the very real one sitting beside me. Inexcusable. "I'm sorry. I was distracted." He'd pulled us over to the side of the street, and I hadn't noticed.

Of course, my daydream had also made a number of assumptions about Ray that were no doubt utterly wrong. I felt ashamed.

"I'll say. Been happening a lot lately."

Embarrassment added a sharper edge to my offense. "Usually because I was worrying about you."

"Worrying about-- What do you mean?"

I'd opened my mouth already, so I might as well finish. "You've seemed irritable and perhaps even depressed of late."

"Oh for-- We're having ourselves a nice little `Gift of the Magi' tribute here. You being distracted by me being a grouch made me feel worse." Ray shook his head. "And if you try to feel guilty about that, I will kick you in the head. It's not yer fault that I'm down; it's just that everything seems like yer fault when yer down, and I was all thinking about what a waste I was that I was messing you up too. I'm just down. Dunno why. I couldn't say, `Benton my friend, I'm depressed for no reason.'"

"Why not?"

"I already tell you things most people would need to drive bamboo slivers under my fingernails to get out of me."

"Thank you. I think. I still don't see why this is different."

"Because you're the solve-it guy."

"How would that be a bad thing here?"

"You'd drive me crazy trying to get me to figure out why I'm down so you could find a solution, and the thing is that I'm just down. Nothing's changed that I can put my finger on. The suck factor of my life hasn't risen or anything. It's not like with... with Beth Botrelle. So you'd be picking at me, and I wouldn't be able to make you stop by giving you an answer. You're pretty persistent, especially when you think people are in trouble."

"Sometimes... I have been depressed for no reason."

"Yeah?" It made him smile a little.

"Yes."

"That's good. Okay, not good for you, but, I dunno, it makes me feel a bit better to know. Not like I don't think you can't get depressed. Or snippy. Or bitchy. Man, can you get bitchy sometimes."

"Thank you, Ray."

"I mean it in the best way. Just that I was starting to feel really stupid about this. My brain wasn't on straight." Ray petted Dief's head, to Dief's unapologetic joy.

As Ray sometimes said, dogs had all the luck. "But things are better now?"

"A little. I went out last night."

"And had a pleasant time."

Ray looked rueful. "Uhm, actually, no."

"No?"

"I didn't set out to have a bad night. Well, it wasn't totally a bad night."

"Ray."

"Okay, beginning at the beginning time. I went out dancing with the thought that maybe I could find some company. Big club, lots of noise, lots of people. Not your scene."

"I... understand."

"I needed noise. Try to rearrange the internal furniture, or at least ignore it for a while. I didn't think you'd enjoy it."

He had thought of me, at least. "What happened there?"

"Danced by myself for a while, but eventually this chick starts dancing alongside me, then with me. Really pretty. She had this great blue hair. It's hard to keep a pure blue looking like that, `cause it fades fast and ends up looking greenish since you bleach then color."

"You liked her hair."

"Yeah, Fraser, I was dancing and then making out with her hair. Nah, I liked her. She had this spark. You could see it when she danced. Beautiful smile too."

Making out with. "So you were `successful,' as you would say. With this woman."

Ray squirmed. "Depends on your definition of `success.'"

"You don't have to say if you don't wish to." Though I might throttle him if he didn't.

Ray sighed. "I was buzzed on a few Red Devils, and it turns out that she was more than buzzed, though it didn't really become obvious `til later. So we were on a couch in a dark corner kissing. Hands all over each other. She was in my lap, and her lips tasted sweet, kind of like blueberries. But... then I tasted something salty along with the blueberries.

"She was crying, quiet-like, just tears running down her face. That killed it for me, so I asked her what was wrong. And she tells me about the love of her life, this guy named Patrick, and how she missed him and was going to kill him for treating her the way he did but she'd show him.... She was way beyond buzzed, and it seemed like the more she cried, the harder whatever she drank earlier started to hit her. Total loss of inhibitions, in all the wrong ways.

"I ended up holding her while she's sobbing on my shoulder, and I was stroking her back, saying comforting stuff, thinking I am the last guy to give somebody advice on learning to let go. That went on for a long while, dunno how long. Whatever mood hadn't been killed by then died when she murmured, `Thanks, Daddy,' against my neck. I think it was the drunkenness talking and not about her thinking I was ancient, because she was at least 25."

Dear Lord. "I'm sorry, Ray."

"Not as sorry as I was. All that crying seemed to knock her out, or maybe she was passing out, because she just about dozed on my chest for a while. Fortunately, her friends found us about 20 minutes later, and I got them to take her home. By then I just wanted to get home myself."

"It doesn't sound like a good night."

"Nah, it doesn't, does it? But I felt a bit better while I was walking to my car. Hey, at least I hadn't been dumped by Patrick, ya know? I could have done without the `Daddy' thing, but...." Ray shrugged. "And I enjoyed the dancing. But I'm kind of wiped today. I'm not ancient, but I'm not young enough to run on fumes anymore."

"I suspected that you might have been more tired than usual. You still have hints of eyeliner on."

Ray coughed, then laughed and rubbed his eyes. "Better?"

"More smeared, actually."

"Oh, that would go over well. I guess I shouldn't have expected much since I could barely get my eyes open to remove it all. You know, I'm so tired that I'm a menace to myself and others. I shouldn't even be driving." He started to smile a little.

"Ray?"

"I'm going to call in dead. Take the day off so Chicago stays safe and all." As Ray took out his cell phone, he looked at me beseechingly. "Play hooky with me? It wouldn't really go against your Mountie code `cause you'd be on a mission of mercy, keeping me out of trouble and all."

Oh. Dear. "Ray--"

"It wouldn't even have to be all day, because I think my head's gonna hit the pillow for a few hours. Just later, you know? Maybe you could make whatever excuses you make to the Ice Queen before you leave to go crime-fighting with me."

I had only one answer I could make. "Yes. Yes, I will."

"Great! You won't regret this. Okay, knowing you, you might, but it won't be from me not doing my best to make sure you don't." Ray dialed his phone. "It's me. Frannie, you know who I am, so I'm not playing this game with-- Fine. It's Ray Vecchio, detective first grade, calling for Lieutenant Welsh. Put me through. Yeah, hi, Boss. Funny. Uh. I'm calling in sick. Calling in dead would be more like. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yessir. Could you smack Frannie with a rolled-up newspaper for me? No, I don't want sexual harassment charges against me. I meant-- Yeah. See? Tired verging on dead equals stupid. Right. See you tomorrow." Ray frowned at his phone as he set it down.

"What's wrong?"

"He encouraged me to stay home today. Don't know if he's doing reverse psychology or if my ass has been dragging that much lately. Sucks." Ray yawned. "I'll drive you to the consulate."

"You will not."

"Huh?"

"You're in no condition to drive, let alone alone."

"`Alone alone'? Yer more surreal today than usual, Fraser."

"You're more tired today than usual. I'm going home with you."

"Pushy pushy. Going home with me on your command. Jeez."

"Ray."

"Yeah, sure, fine, whatever. Take advantage of me in my weakened state."

If only. "Drive. No, better, give me your phone first so I can call in sick as well."

Ray handed his phone over but said, "Wow, the things I could tell Frannie about what it would be like to be married to you. Change her mind fast."

"Amazing. When you're overtired, you whine like a spoiled five-year-old."

"Do not!"

I nearly had to drag Ray into his apartment. It seemed that his body had been running on adrenaline until he'd called in sick, then it had seen the call as permission to collapse. He was warm and trusting and nearly limp in my arms, and I decided that I could live with two out of three for now.

Diefenbaker offered unwanted suggestions he thought helpful. I told him that I hardly needed them, while he answered that he wouldn't have to offer them if I'd only move on Ray already. He didn't want to worry about my sex life, or lack of one. In his opinion, if I'd only mount Ray or let Ray mount me I'd be far happier and a better companion.

"It's always about you, isn't it?" I asked.

Ray woke up a bit. "What?"

"Diefenbaker is offering suggestions."

"I'm sure."

Ray protested the whole time I removed his holster and boots. "Jeez, I'm not five. I can do this," he mumbled.

"I thought you believed in accepting pampering when it was offered to you." Verbally sparring with him kept my mind off what I was doing, though my mind didn't seem to be the body part plaguing me the most.

"Call this `pampering'? Someday I have to show you what pampering's really about."

I hoped he didn't notice the sudden tremor in my hands. "I'll have to see that."

"Yeah," he murmured. Once freed of holster and boots, Ray burrowed into his bed, burying himself into his pillow and under his sheets. "Help yourself to anything in the apartment."

I thanked God he couldn't understand Dief's response to that. When I refused to follow his advice, Dief leapt up onto the bed himself, settled in, and wallowed when Ray started to pet him. Demonstrating for me, saying that Ray really did have a good touch.... Tongue lolling, he said that if I wouldn't take advantage of Ray's bed, he might as well. He claimed to be tired after a night of making the rounds of the receptive local bitches. They supposedly found him exotic and thought him quite virile.

"No one likes a braggart," I mouthed to him.

He grumbled something back about humans confusing opposable thumbs with superiority, smirked, then snuggled in close to Ray's side, eliciting a contented murmur from Ray.

I had to go. With the sights and sounds of a contented Ray, as well as a clothes hamper that had one black jeans leg dangling from it, too much in this room tempted me. I would find other things to fill my time until he awoke.

But Ray's apartment was more cluttered than sloppy. Thus, my attempt to distract myself through cleaning worked only for a little while. The forms I brought with me provided little relief either, not when I had something far more interesting waiting for me a short distance away. I needed something to do. Something other than Ray.

After an hour, I made a compromise with myself. I would do his laundry. That his laundry no doubt included whatever he'd worn the night before... well, that would be the bone I'd throw to my more prurient side.

Ray slept deeply on as I quietly carried the hamper out, closing the door behind me. As I separated his clothing in the living room, I very deliberately left a few items for last.

From its cut, the black T-shirt must have fit tightly, and it smelled of cigarette smoke, sweat, cologne, and blueberry lipstick. A small, slightly shiny stain with a cover of blue sparkles marred the collar. The woman had matched her lipstick to her hair. How quaint.

Oh, I really was a bitch, especially as I had no trouble with the idea that Ray had coordinated his briefs with his outfit, even as I retained enough control to remain professional about his underwear. Investigating his underwear would have been wrong. But for a moment I let myself think of Ray's neck marked with glittering blue stains shaped like lips and Ray perhaps having a sweet, shiny layer smeared in places on his own lips, slick against my own....

I avoided the jeans. I had to. I caught a hint of his musk just in his shirt; I didn't need to examine his pants.

"Hey, Fraser." Yawning, hair rumpled and wild, Ray stood at the door of his room.

"Ray." I put down his shirt.

"Whatcha doing with my clothes?"

"Checking for stains before I take them down to the laundry room." Truth.

"You might want to look at the knees. Think I messed them up when I blew that strange guy in the back alley."

My mouth opened and closed a few times, with him cackling, before I could finally let loose an outraged, "Ray!" For a moment there....

He sat down next to me. "Fraser, you have yer nose in my clothes. Even for you, that is not normal." He leaned closer. "So... does that mean you like me?"

"Of course I like you."

"Nah, nah. I mean in that special way."

Even as I felt a brief pang of hope, I said, "If you're toying with me, I'll make you wish you'd never been born."

"Ooooh, hard guy." Ray breathed into my neck. "I like you in a special way, but I thought you just liked me."

Such a misconception couldn't be allowed to continue. As I kissed him, he sat in my lap, no doubt to make sure that I had no misconceptions about his feelings either. He smelled like his usual self--leather, aftershave, styling gel, coffee, and sweetness, though with a stronger hint of Dief on him as usual--but I certainly didn't need his more exotic "night out" scents to find him enticing.

"I should play hooky everyday," he said as I kissed his eyelids and tasted a hint of kohl.

"Ray."

"Heh. Just checking to make sure yer not a pod person."

"You know, Ray, you only had an hour's extra sleep."

"So?"

"I think I should take you back to bed."

"You better be joining me."

"Considering your willfulness, I would have to. I'd hardly want you to escape your bed again."

"Hooray for willfulness."

I couldn't be sure which of us led the other to the bedroom since it seemed to change from moment to moment, but we arrived there quickly, tethered to one another through kisses. Ray threw himself backwards onto the bed and grinned as it bounced him. He sprawled lazily, his long limbs outspread, offering his body to me as a feast, and smirked at me as I started to remove my uniform.

"You could help," I said, bantering as a distraction as I tried not to look directly at him for more than a moment at a time. I would lose all control if I watched him broadcast his availability this way.

"I'm helping more by not getting my fingers tangled in all that regalia of yours." His fingers drummed out a tune on his stomach.

"Isn't that from Bonanza?"

"Uh, yeah. It's for mood."

"You're a freak, Ray."

"Noted."

His heated gaze roamed over my body as I stripped, and I saw his breathing change, his pupils dilate. Liking what he saw, it seemed. One of his hands strayed toward his waistband, but I caught it and kissed his wrist, feeling his pulse jump under the smooth skin.

"You don't want me touching myself?" he asked, his voice a shadowy purr.

"Not yet. Maybe later."

Still in my partially unfastened jodhpurs, I straddled Ray's hips, feeling his insistent erection beneath me through the fabric of our pants. His heart raced, pounding up into my hands through his skin, as I pushed his T-shirt up and started to simply breathe on him, watching my breath stir the fine, nearly invisible hairs atop his pale skin.

I'd never taken my time in my fantasies of him, as if he'd turn into a pumpkin if I didn't have him immediately, as if it would be wrong to pounce upon him if I hadn't fallen into overwhelming lust first and lost all ability to think. We'd never reached Ray's bed. In this reality, in Ray bed's, amongst rumpled sheets he'd just slept in that smelled of him and had a scattering of wolf hairs--gray and black, since Dief knew the white ones wouldn't show against the white cotton--across them, I hadn't lost the ability to reason. It supplemented my lust and made me want to savor Ray slowly.

"Do you have any idea how hot you look wearing just the pants?" he asked plaintively as he quivered beneath me.

"Do you have any idea how distracting you are when you stretch, as you so often do during the day, and one of your shorter shirts lifts up to reveal your belly or the small of your back?"

"Uh, now I do?"

"I should hope so," I answered as I started to kiss my way down his stomach, flicking my tongue out now and then to taste his skin. Ray made soft sounds of excitement and ran his fingers through my hair, involuntarily pulling a little whenever my lips brushed what must have been more sensitive spots. I actually enjoyed the sensation of the small shocks of pain. They were so real.

"Sorry," he muttered.

I answered his apology with a kiss and "I don't mind." Odd to have my stomach rubbing against his warm bare skin while my chest felt the rolled up cotton of his T-shirt. "Remove your shirt for me?"

Ray smiled, sat up, and pulled it off over his head, necessarily stretching and twisting as he did so. I wanted to kiss every prominent rib. I wanted to watch him remove his shirt from the back so I could see his very flexible spine move and watch the muscles in his shoulders shift.

And I would. I swore it to myself. There would be other times. I only had to convince Ray.

From the way he seemed set on devouring my mouth, I doubted that convincing him would be difficult.

**THE END**

More Viridian5 stories can be found in The Green Room version 2.0 at http://www.mrks.org/~viridian/

No-frames but no-frills access available at http://www.mrks.org/~viridian/Viridian_side.htm

Fandoms represented: due South, Hard Core Logo, Twitch City, X-Files, Once a Thief, Andromeda, Angel, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, Two Guys and a Girl (was Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place), X-Men, Doctor Who, Fight Club, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

End Underlined by Viridian5: Viridian5@aol.com

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