Author's Notes: This was written for round one of the LiveJournal challenge community rounds_of_kink

Story Notes: Slight spoilers for Victoria's Secret.
There is a character death but it's mild. I have no idea if Chicago has ever had a underground system and I am pretty sure 23 West Erie Street wouldn't be it's address.

He betrayed me the first time. He saved my life then put me in jail. I was sure he was going to let me go, there were so many opportunities to just leave me, but he chose duty over me. When I was in that jail I cursed him. I hated him for doing that. The worst thing was that I thought I was developing feelings for him and then he did that to me. I had a plan when I got out, I would track him down and make him pay, but after the years passed it didn't seem worth it anymore. I still felt betrayed and I still blamed him but the effort of tracking him down just to get my revenge seemed childish. I got on with my life, planning my next move.

When I saw him again I couldn't believe it. After all what was the wild man of the Yukon doing in the urban minefield of Chicago, it didn't make sense. When we finally met again all the feelings of betrayal that I had spent my years trying to control hit the surface. My first thought was to just get my revenge and go. It would be hard but so sweet to get the justice I deserved. I had to spend more time with him to be able to carry out my plan. During that time things changed between us. I discovered I loved him. It crept up on me so slowly the realisation shocked me. How could I love the man that locked me up, who made me so miserable and bitter? I couldn't deal with it; I had to get away, so I followed my plan to the last. Of course then he went and saved me again and I really did have to leave to escape more time in jail, and for the first time I was truly sorry.

That night on the train station I asked him to come with me, I would regret it if I didn't ask. It was a spur of the moment comment and after what I had done to him he ran to me. I knew he was going to come with me, until the gun fire rang out and he dropped to the ground. The last image I have of him is him falling, not knowing if would live. I made a promise that day that I would find out, and if he was alive I would see him again.

It took me years but I found out he lived though the shooting and was still living in Chicago. Finally I could find him, I couldn't be sure he wouldn't turn me in again but I needed to take the chance. I saw him again in the same way we met the last time I was here, by accident on the street. He looked the same as ever except happier, more peaceful. I saw a man wildly flapping his arms about, trying to explain something. He had blond spiked hair and looked like he got dressed in the dark, certainly a big change from the partner he used to have, I wonder where he is, they were never too far from each other. The guy had a badge strapped to his belt, which immediately made me feel uneasy. I ran before they spotted me, I need to talk to Benton alone. I have an address for him and I wait at the bottom to the stairs waiting for him. It is reasonably quiet, the perfect place for us to talk. I hear him before I can see him, the familiar thud of his boots on the thin floor echoes with each step he takes. I also hear a Chicago voice near him, loudly chatting about work and what they are going to do. I make the assumption it is the cop I saw him with earlier. Something must have happened to the other cop he used to be partnered with. Lots of bad things can happen to cops if there not careful. I don't have time to dwell on it as I hear them get nearer. I duck out of sight, allowing me to see them but they shouldn't be able to spot me. They just come into my line of vision long enough to see the blond one look around before kissing Benton. I have to bite back my gasp of disbelief. He's moved on, and with a man no less. This can't be. He didn't wait for me; it is the ultimate humiliating blow. They both look my way but after a brief look of confusion from Benton he shakes his head and I press myself out of view as much as I can. It seems to work and they walk away without a second glance.

---

I keep seeing her. I know it's nothing to be concerned about; most likely a case of mistaken identity but it makes me feel uneasy. I could have sworn I saw her this morning as we were leaving for work and it has shaken me to the bone. I can't help but wonder what I would do if I ever met her again. Ray picks up on my emotions quickly and keeps rubbing my shoulders, as much as he would dare in the station anyway, but still offering me much needed support and comfort. I nod to him letting him know I will be alright. I will be eventually I know that.

"Kowalski! Fraser! If you don't have anything better to do would you like to join me in my office." Ah, no doubt an important case, which will certainly keep my mind off it the whole business.

"But sir, I have all this paper work..." Ray makes his token protest as we do already have a lot of work on our plates.

"You and I both know that Fraser is going to do it while you sit around and pick your nails. In. Now." The Lieutenant uses his `and that's final' voice. Ray skulks in and I walk behind him. It amazes me how Ray manages to act like a sulking school child at his age, it's quite a feat. Ray falls into the chair and I close the door standing by it as usual. "Gentlemen, we have had reports that a perpetrator who has been wanted for years has been spotted in Chicago."

"Cool, give us the file Lieu and I'll add it the mountain," Ray gestures to the tower of files on his desk.

"Cool your jets Kowalski; you aren't on the case because one of you has a strong link to this person. However we do want all the information you can think of."

"Strong link sir?"

"Constable, would you perhaps like to take a seat?" I am a little shocked, it is normally Ray he orders to take a seat because his constant pacing annoys him, but I sit down anyway. Ray grabs the file and starts reading it, he looks pained after reading just the first few words. The Lieutenant lowers his voice, "The person spotted is believed to be Victoria Metcalfe."

"Shit." For once I don't correct Ray's language as he pretty much sums up my feelings right now. I am, I am... I don't know how I am to be perfectly truthful. The only woman I've ever loved is back. As much as this is a chance for me to see what my life would have been like if I left with her that night and a chance to put old demons to rest, hers and my own, I am completely terrified. "Hey Frase, you alright?" Ray stands over me bringing me out of my world. He looks taught and concerned, as if it was himself that had been given this news.

"I've seen her."

"You've what?" The twin voices of the Lieutenant and Ray sound almost comically disbelieving.

"I thought I had made an error, but I thought I saw her today."

"Not the creepy chick that was watching us this morning?" Ah, I had thought I was the only one to have set eyes on her.

"Yes Ray. She was in the apartment block."

"Right, I'll send Huey and Dewey around there immediately. I suggest in the mean time you and Ray do not go back."

"I am sure that she will not go back, she would have undoubtedly realised that by now someone in the Chicago police department would have been notified and myself and Ray would have been alerted to her presence. I doubt she would return to somewhere so obvious." I half believe that, Victoria was never stupid or careless. She's only hurt me mentally before, physically she has always left me unscathed.

"Constable when I said suggest I meant ordered to not to return. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir."

"We can get some stuff from my parents in Skokie then high tail it out of here."

"That's a good idea detective. Don't leave Chicago though; I can only protect you in the city. I shall call you if there are any developments." Ray and I take that as our hint to take our leave. "Oh and just one more thing," he calls after us, "No heroics. You see her, you call."

Ray pulls me into the supply closet as soon as we leave the Lieutenant's office. He grabs my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes. "Hey, you alright?"

"I'll be alright." I can't quite bring myself to lie but I want to soothe Ray's fears. After all there is no guarantee that she is still in the state let alone trying to find me. Ray looks like he doesn't believe me even slightly but doesn't try again. Instead he embraces me tightly, stroking my hair. I just melt into him; the feeling of him strong against me strengthens me. He drops a chaste kiss to my temple before releasing me.

"Ray, I hardly think all this is necessary."

"Hey, be quite you. I think this is necessary. What happens when she finds you? She'll try and kill you." It is touching to be on the receiving end of so much worry, but I certainly do not deserve it.

"She has never harmed me physically before Ray. She tends to go for my weakness, what ever I hold most dear." Oh dear, my biggest weakness is Ray. Or more precisely the love I feel for him. "On second thought maybe I can cope." If only for Ray's sake. I neglect to tell him about my fears for his safety, I have doubts it would make the slightest bit of difference.

"See, knew you'd come round to my way of thinking."

We enter into our hotel room, which is richly decorated in hues or purple and red, the furnishings luxuriant crushed velvet and stain. "This is our room?"

"Yeah Frase, thought if we had to decamp for the night we'd do it in style."

"But Ray, this must have cost a fortune." I couldn't possibly let Ray pay for such an extravagance on my behalf.

"Don't sweat it. The big cheeses are paying for this."

"Ray!" I admonish him, he knows better than to prey on good charity.

"Hey, they told me to come here." While I don't disbelieve him I suspect they meant a smaller room. "And we're saving them money. This room costs less than getting two singles." I have to admire his creativity. "Anyway, was the last room here so chill. You want anything? Moose burgers? Wolf shaped chips?" I smile at him. If he is making this amount of effort for my enjoyment I may as well accept it. It would be rude not to.

The wolf chips remind me, "Oh god Diefenbaker! I forgot about him, I am meant to pick him up from Turnbull tonight." That horrible image of Dief injured from the bullet has never left me. I cannot let him be put in harms way again. I doubt I can protect him better than Turnbull could, for all his clumsiness he is actually a keen observer and intensely loyal, but I could not willingly lead Victoria to Turnbull, and I would feel much happier if I could keep an eye on Dief.

"Is OK Frase. I'll go pick him up. You do not leave this room through, got me?"

"I hardly think..."

"Got me?" I sigh and give into Ray's demands, who looks excessively pleased by getting his own way. "Right, you relax." I nod and kiss him lightly before he leaves. I wait five minutes, which should be ample time for him to leave, and then leave the hotel room myself.

I take a brisk walk to clear my head; physical exercise is renowned to help in such matters. The pounding under my feet is a rhythmical simplistic background allowing me to lose myself. I don't even realise how far I walk until my thigh muscles twinge. I stop to rest and to fend off the fatigue. A familiar voice calling me from the opposite side of the street attracts me. It's her. Our eyes meet for the briefest of seconds, before another familiar voice calls out, "Freeze Police!" Ray is pointing his gun at her looking wild. Victoria makes the barest glance at Ray before quickly climbing into a taxi and speeding away. Ray hangs his head in defeat while all I can do is stare into the empty space she has vacated. "Fraser! Are you alright?" Ray runs across two lanes of traffic, putting up one finger to those who complain. "God, how is this staying in the room? I was just here buying donuts for the wolf and there you are. Hey, look at me when I'm being pissy with you." I turn towards Ray's angry face to apologise. There was really no reason for me to be outside, even though I don`t think I was ever in immediate danger from her, I think she wants to talk to me though. "Fraser did she do anything? You're not hurt or anything?" Ray's anger dissipates to worry. I can't say I blame him; this whole scenario has got me off kilter.

"Yes Ray, she just happened to startle me. I'm sure a refreshing nap will help."

"Oh yeah, sure. Come on, let's get in the car and get the wolf. You can sleep on the way if you want. I promise not to drive like a bat out of hell."

--

That dammed cop getting in the way again. I hate him, he seems to always be around to bail Benton out and get in between us. I am seething with jealousy; he used to look at me like that. Like his whole world was me. That brief connection we had today showed me something. That look in his eyes, the love and respect he held for me has dissipated into hurt. If that Ray hadn't shot him, if he came with me, if he never met this new man it would have been different. If he feels even the slightest bit of what he used to with me he has a great weakness in his life, and it has blond hair.

--

This lady's real twisted. She's done something to Fraser and she hasn't laid a finger on him yet. I don't know what he was thinking going out today, I mean who knows what could have happened if I wasn't there? A whole lot of crap I bet. He seems to have been destroyed and it's happened in front of my eyes. I hate not having the control to do something about it. I talked to Welsh earlier about getting in on the case but apparently I'm too close. Yeah right, there just worried about what I'll do, and to tell the truth I don't know what I'd do if I got a clear shot at her. I'm guessing I wouldn't, after all Fraser did love her once, there must be a tiny bit of good in her somewhere, just hidden in bitterness. Of course I want to get rid of her, take revenge for Fraser, but I don't think I got it in me to hurt someone he at least used to love. I mean, he doesn't like Stella but he doesn't crucify her for running off with Vecchio. Maybe that isn't the best comparison. Stella never tried to set me up.

Dief wonders off ahead of me to get to the nearest bakery. Probably he's hoping to get pity donuts from that cute girl that works behind the counter. See, I can speak wolf, well Dief, as well as Fraser. That was another thing; Fraser almost went mad this morning when Dief wasn't around. Big case of separation anxiety. I know most, but not all that went on with the Victoria thing, but I have the feeling Dief was involved somehow and not in a great way. I see the white tail twist into the bakery up ahead. Best and most expensive one in town not surprisingly. I hope I got enough cash for this.

There is a sudden screech of tires and then the whole world goes blank.

--

I am alone in the room, eagerly waiting for Ray's return from his walk with Diefenbaker. The nap did not help as I had hoped but being around Ray did, as it has strengthened my resolve that I do have a reasonably well adjusted and happy life now. My happiness is no longer entangled with hers. It is a rather cheering thought. Diefenbaker's reaction to her return was quite concerning, the growl he emitted signalled that he certainly remembered what she did. I wait by the door and I happen to notice a white envelope that certainly wasn't there before Ray left. I am surprised I didn't hear the sender post it under the door. It is addressed to me in Victoria's handwriting. I open the door quickly to check if she is still in the immediate vicinity. She isn't there, just the normal holiday makers and general hotel staff, nothing unusual or different. I sigh deeply, part of me wants to see her, complete the inevitable, and I had hoped that it would be on my territory, not hers. I close the door firmly. It would be wise to wait for Ray but surely no harm will come from reading a simple letter.

`Meet me at 23 West Erie Street, he will pay for your mistakes,' Panic rises within me. I can almost hear the unwritten come alone order. My first paranoid fear is she has Ray. He only left a short time ago and I know Ray and Diefenbaker would put up a fight, but she is nothing if not resourceful. I take my hat and go. If she does have either of them I cannot waste any time. Christ what has she done.

A disused underground station. It fits so well, the situation similar enough to our previous meeting at the train station to bring back memories long buried, yet private enough to be sheltered from the outside world, we won't be disturbed here. I can tell she has planned this to the very last detail. I walk down the stairwell and into the darkness, keeping a keen watch. I need to be on my guard, I do not know what her mental state will be like.

The pitch black air gives way to a burst of candle light. It brings back deeply unpleasant memories. I dreamt of that scenario for a long time after the event, never letting up, never letting me forget. In the middle of the room Ray is gagged and tied securely to a chair, a red cut on head, making his hair stained with blood. He tries talking around his gag but is muffled beyond comprehension. He wiggles and pulls at the ropes, desperately trying to escape. My gut twists; I just hope I can get him out of this situation. There is no sign of Dief; my stomach churns at the thought that she may have done something to him. My impulse is to run to Ray, but I feel as if we are being watched. Sure enough Victoria steps from the shadows, I can for the first time since she returned see her clearly. Life obviously has not been easy on her since we parted. She looks like a hollow shadow of the woman I loved. "Remind you of anywhere?"

"Unfortunately yes." My back twinges painfully where my bullet wound is, as if it wants to remind me exactly what happened. It is unnecessary; I can remember the events as if it happened just a scant few days ago. I doubt I will ever forget, I most certainly do not deserve to. "Victoria please do the right thing this time. I can help you; I will do everything I can, just let him go." I plead with her.

She laughs humourlessly, "Answer me some questions first." I nod, not fully believing she will give herself over to the correct authorities or release Ray barring a miracle.

"Why?" That's a loaded question I'm not prepared to answer.

"Why what?"

"Turning me in, him?"

"You committed a crime Victoria; I needed to do my duty." I keep my eyes fixed on Ray, his blue eyes looking out of focused and dazed. She clearly has treated him harshly. Anger bubbles inside of me, I can understand what she does to me but why Ray. He is just an innocent bystander. Once again she has gone for the area I am most vulnerable.

"I never meant more to you than your duty did I?"

"You did once."

"Then what happened to change your mind?" Ray happened. Despite the time that has passed between us she can still read my weaknesses, "Do you love him?"

"Yes more than anything," or anyone. I can hear a commotion coming from the entrance, even this far away I think I can hear what seems to be Diefenbaker barking orders. A knot in my stomach relaxes, at least he is safe. I am not certain how they could have known where we were but I am eternally grateful that they did.

"I loved you despite your betrayals. Can you honestly say he will do the same?"

"Yes absolutely." There is no doubt in my mind. Her face falls and she begins to shake.

"You are a bigger fool than me then." She reaches inside of her coat drawing a gun, pointing it close to Ray's head. She looks at the edge of madness and I fear Ray may be a casualty. I rush towards them, the commotion outside becomes nosier as a crowd of people burst onto the station. Suddenly the station is surrounded in noise, loud voices, barks and growls. A gunshot rings out, echoing in the tunnel. I close my eyes waiting to feel the familiar burning pain, but I feel nothing. Instead I hear Victoria's and Ray's voice call out in agony.

I grip Ray's hand watching and listening to the rhythmic heart beat on the monitor. Dief's snoring making a perfect counter balance. Only shot in the arm, thankfully, no permanent damage. I thought I lost him for one awful, sickening minute. The pain medication makes him feel drowsy and he has slept though the majority of his immediate treatment. I am rather thankful considering Ray put up quite a resistance about going to the hospital. It took myself and several paramedics to insist on taking the appropriate course of treatment, which included a trip to the hospital.

Ray tiredly blinks trying to focus, finally opening his eyes, squinting in the bright light. "Hey Frase, how you doing?" he croaks and coughs. I immediately hand him some water and help him drink it. I am sure that there must be something in the hospital air that sucks all available moisture out of the room. I find myself sipping more water than I normally do and I am without illness.

I feel guilty, I inadvertently put Ray in this situation and he could have lost his life because of it. The guilt feels like a heavy stone tried around my neck. "I am muddling along Ray, how are you feeling now?"

Ray grins up at me, "Like shit." I suppress a smile; trust Ray to get straight to the point. His face falls and his lowers his voice seriously, "Everyone else get out OK?"

"All your fellow officers returned from the scene uninjured." I deliberately leave out Victoria and Ray picks up on it straight away.

"She's dead isn't she?" I bow my head. I had hoped to delay the inevitable questions on my state of mind. I feel empty knowing that I will never see her again, the grief is almost overwhelming, but why I should feel this way after she threatened the one person so dear to me is a mystery. "Oh jeez, Frase. I'm sorry." Ray reaches with his good arm to stroke my cheek.

"She held you captive and shot you Ray." I don't think I could ever forgive her for that. I am truly furious that she did despite my grief.

"Yeah, so she was a psycho bitch, didn't mean you didn't love her." I don't understand how I could ever love someone who could have done this. It makes me concerned about my capabilities of reading others. "Hey, you are allowed to love someone who's fucked up. That's life and life sucks." Ray has a rather unique wisdom, but a wisdom none the less.

The silence is broken by Diefenbaker who chooses this moment to wake up, with a flurry of white fur Ray is pinned onto his back. Dief wags his tail happily to see him awake. "Hey, hey wolf, stop licking my ear exclamation mark." Ray weakly pushes Dief off him, not really trying to get away from the wet onslaught. "So, when do I get out of this hell hole?"

--

Her body is lowered to the ground and I'm fucking glad, but I have to hide it from Fraser. He has had such a touch time with it. I can't even begin to understand what is going through his mind right now. What I do understand is loving someone despite all the shit they give you. I hoped that taking him here, saying that last goodbye would help him, but hell knows if it worked. I can see tears forming in his eyes, he hasn't cried since this all happened, I wish he would. Just let out some emotion and ease the pressure.

He takes my hand and walks away, squeezing me tightly. My arm hurts like a son of a bitch but I'll be fucked if I'm complaining to him. He needs me, he's got me anytime. Damn, we'll be fine, he'll be fine. Just need a little time that's all.