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Benny & Ray 34 Ben's Journal Dee Gilles Rated PG

19 June 2000 Monday 22:00

It has been such a busy two weeks that I have not had time to make a journal entry. Much has happened. We got Francesca completely settled into her new condominium two weeks ago. After a very embarrassing incident in which she caught Ray and me `in flagrante delicto', she moved out early, which I think was a wise decision. It was `all hands on deck' all week as Tony, Ray and I painted, laid carpet, and installed the kitchen fixtures to make it habitable for our sister. Francesca was so proud, so thrilled to be a homeowner. And we were proud of her.

Last weekend, we attended the high school graduation of Maria's oldest son Paul. He has opted to attend Truman Community College uptown this fall, planning to pursue a career in law enforcement upon receiving his associate's degree in Criminal Justice. Ray was extremely pleased to hear that; we both were.

The spring has passed so quickly into summer; the solstice and yet another birthday only two days away. Mother is hosting a dinner party for me; I tried to dissuade her, but she was insistent. Ray encouraged me to invite people from both the Consulate and from school in addition to the usual family, and it has turned into quite the event for Mother to plan and cook for. I offered to help, but she wouldn't hear of it. Turnbull will be in attendance, as will Mac and Charles. We will see Valerie, Elaine and Ike, and my friend from sociology class, Hugh Braum. Ray ran into Walter Sparks in the street last week and invited him also. It will be good to see Walter. I know that he had some ups and downs after leaving the psychiatric hospital, but I had heard through Father Behan that he had at last found permanent employment in an ad agency downtown, and was currently sharing a duplex with his elderly father, and looked in on him on a daily basis.

Sunday last, my classmate and new friend Hugh invited me to attend his Sierra Club outing. I enjoyed a beautiful, invigorating hike in Piney Creek Ravine, along with Hugh and eleven other members of the club. Hugh drove us. We met the group at sunrise, and were out most of the day, exploring the waterfalls and canyons, observing the ancient petroglyphs carved into the stone walls. They are really an enjoyable group of people. Hugh's friend John extended an invitation to go kayaking with them in the fall, and I think I shall, as long as Ray doesn't object. I may ask him along also, although I really don't think he'll want to, especially since he considers this group of like-minded individuals "granolas" and "hippies". I did ask him to come with Hugh and me, and he said he'd rather "get dragged to mass by Ma; it'd be over quicker".

Hugh is an interesting man. I met him in my first class, Sociology 101, last fall. Like me, he is an older adult attending college later in life. He was in the Marines for ten years, a medic, stationed at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. After witnessing the brutality of war during Operation Desert Storm, he retired. He realized that there had to be a better way than making war, and now had plans to get his sociology degree and go back and teach in the Middle East. I thought that was very noble, and we were fast friends from that first day. Ray likes him too, but he also seems a little leery; I think he may in fact be a little jealous. Ray is very possessive of me, as he will readily admit to.

Ray is home at last. My poor dear. He has been working so many hours this spring. I wish that I could help him more with his cases. I have been lending out Turnbull to the CPD when I can, but quite frankly, I'm not sure of Turnbull's ultimate helpfulness. He may be more of a hindrance. I have been pondering the idea of sending Melissa MacGregor to assist when needed. She is young and untested, but everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves. I believe I will discuss it with Ray if he is not too tired.

21 June Wednesday 21:00

My birthday was indeed wonderful. Ray presented me with a guitar, a classical acoustic-electric guitar with a heavy-duty carrying case. I haven't owned a guitar in quite a few years. My last one disappeared in the move from White Horse to Moose Jaw, and I was too strapped for cash to replace it. This one was one was a real beauty. The last one I owned was a cheap second-hand model that always seemed to need tuning.

I played and sang for the group a few songs I still remembered, like "I Saw Her Standing There", and "California Dreamin'", which made Ray smile.

Hugh had been good enough to come to the party also, invited by me last minute, as had my group from the Consulate. Margarita Gamez, Jack Huey and Lt. Welsh from the 27th, and Ray's--my-- family were all in attendance. (Lately, Ray has been correcting me to refer to the Vecchios as "my" family. And he is right, but I'm still getting used to calling them that.)

It was the most rewarding to see Walter Sparks again. He looked good. He had gained a little muscle mass across his back and shoulders, and he greeted me with the warmest smile. His eyes seemed very serene, and I knew he was happy. Walter was in fact doing well. He admitted he had just started seeing a wonderful lady last month. He had recently gotten deeply involved in the local grassroots Al Gore presidential campaign. His father was recovering nicely from heart by-pass surgery. He'd never been more satisfied with his life.

After almost all the guests had departed, Walter pulled me aside. He thanked me sincerely for saving his life that time, for caring so much about a stranger when he didn't have to. When I could have just kept walking that day. That was the most wonderful birthday present anyone could have ever given me. To tell me that I mattered to them; that I made a difference. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch.

25 June Sunday 18:00

Ray surprised me this weekend with a trip to Yellowstone. He got the entire office in on it. He showed up Friday at noon and whisked me away. I did have several appointments planned, but unbeknownst to me, Charles rescheduled most of them. There was one `meet and greet' with an senior citizen group that could not be rescheduled because of logistics, and Mac and Turnbull took that appointment for me, giving them the grand tour of the building and grounds. Ray had shown up with a car and driver, both our bags packed and loaded in the trunk, and off we went to the airport. A short time later, we were in a tiny cabin just outside the park. The next day, I got Ray on horseback. He was nervous, but I thought he looked quite dashing astride his Quarter Horse. The weekend was quite an adventure. Ray admitted on the flight home that he had only planned it a few days prior. After seeing what a "great time I had with the crunchy people" hiking in the forest, he realized how important the outdoors was to me. And so he wanted me to have it.

I just adore Ray. Sometimes, I ache with the intensity of it. I've already started making plans for his birthday; I have to repay him for his generosity at mine. I am planning a trip to--no, better not write it in case Ray peeks at this, which he sometimes does. He pretends that he doesn't, but I've caught him before. I've told him it was okay to read my journals. I have nothing to hide from Ray.

Ray has emerged from the shower, wearing only a towel. He looks at me with that certain gleam in his eye, reaching for me. I think he wants--

finis