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Benny & Ray 37 Flash Fire Dee Gilles Rated PG

"Where have you been, Raymond?" Benny asked. He sat on the couch, eerily still. The cobra before a strike.

"Just out. Taking care of a few things," I said. "Seeing a few people." I was completely thrown off guard by Benny sitting in the dark like that, waiting for me. Everything I had prepared to say on the ride over had completely escaped me the instant I saw him like that.

"Oh, really? What kinds of things, Ray? Which people did you see?"

Benny tilted his head to the side, smiling in an odd way.

"Um. Just. You know. Routine police work with Doyle. The uh. The Alverez case."

"Any luck?" He said conversationally.

I was starting to feel like the mongoose to Ben's cobra. "You know, Benny? I'm really tired right now. I'll tell you about it in the morning, alright?"

I walked to the bedroom, loosening my tie. I sat on the bed with a sigh and toed off my shoes. Ben strolled in right after me, and seated himself on the bed right next to me. God, he was unnerving me. I stood up again, and went over to the dresser. I unholstered my guns and dropped them on the dresser-top. Dropped my cuffs next to them. Crossing over to the closet, I pulled off my jacket and pants and hung them up. Put the tie back on the door hook. I turned back and he was staring at me intently. He hadn't moved. I froze. The game was on. He was going to strike any second, sinking in the venom.

"You know, Ray, I went by the station to bring you dinner. My class was cancelled so I came over to spend some time with you. And you weren't there. Where were you, Ray?"

"We were out. I told you."

"We? Who's we, Ray?"

"You know I mean Doyle."

"Mmmph. That's odd, because Doyle was at the station. I spoke to him. He told me you left before five. So I put the question to you again: Where have you been, Raymond?"

"What are you, like, my mother? I don't have to tell you everything, do I?"

"Don't deflect the question, Ray."

"Look, so I went and worked some of the case on my own, that's all. You know, the big one I've been talking about all week." My voice rose uncontrollably. I sounded like I was lying, even to myself.

"Oh? Which was that again?"

"The Alverez case."

A dark object brushed past my right ear, just nicking it. It thudded to the floor just behind me. I turned. It was my loafer. Ben Fraser had just thrown a shoe at my head. I turned back to him, incredulously. "Are you fuckin' crazy?" I put my hand to my ear, checking for blood. Damn, that stung.

"Yes, Ray. Yes I am."

"Why am I getting the third degree here, Benny?"

"Because it's painfully obvious that you're lying to me, Ray."

"No, I'm not!"

"RAY! I know you closed the Alverez case today. So just tell me where you were tonight."

I removed my shirt and crossed the room again, to dump the shirt in the hamper. I dropped my socks in too. "Benny, can we talk about this in the morning? I just want to get some sleep."

"This doesn't have to be a long conversation, Ray. Just one sentence, and I'll leave you alone."

I knew I had to give him something. "Okay, so I was gambling with the guys."

"Which guys?"

"You don't know `em."

"Which guys, Ray?"

"Vinnie Russo. Jimmy Martino."

Benny looked to the ceiling, considering something. "That's strange. One usually plays poker with four or more persons. Was there someone else?"

"Yeah."

"And that someone was?"

I sighed. Here goes. "Tommy deBenedetto."

This time, I was quicker when my other shoe came flying through the air. I ducked, and the shoe whacked the dresser mirror behind me. I heard glass snap.

In an instant, I had crossed over to Benny with my cuffs in my hand. I had him cuffed and face down on the floor in a matter of seconds. Whatever kind of reaction he was expecting from me, that hadn't been it. Thank goodness, because otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten the drop on him like that. Ben Fraser would have no trouble kicking my ass anytime he felt like it.

Benny actually growled in frustration, pulling on the cuffs, sprawled face down on the floor. "Remove these restraints Raymond Vecchio, this instant!"

"Are you done throwing shit at me?"

"I'm not sure Ray."

"Then I guess you can stay there until you're sure. And why do you give a fuck where I've been anyway? You should be happy I'm not in your hair."

Benny managed to roll himself over so he could look me in the eye. He looked daggers at me. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"No, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah, right. Okay, you wanna play dumb? I'll spell it out for you. You don't care about me anymore."

"What?! That's preposterous. How on earth did you come up with such a conclusion?"

"You don't want sex anymore."

"Excuse me?"

"When's the last time we did it, Benny?"

"I... I don't know Ray. In the cabin in Yellowknife, I guess. That last night."

"And how long ago was that?"

Benny sighed. "It was...sixteen days ago."

"I rest my case."

"You're being unfair. I mean, we've hardly been in the same room together since then. I've got classes four nights a week, papers to write, community events. The Governor General is visiting the Consulate next week. I've got a triathlon to get ready for--

"And what's missing from your `to do' list Benny?"

"I...I dunno, Ray." Ben squirmed, trying to get more comfortable with his cuffed hands resting underneath the small of his back.

"Me! Me, Benny! You forgot me!" I had started out speaking, and had ended up yelling.

A cloud passed over Benny's eyes as he peered up at me. "Ray? Were you alone with Tommy?"

"Yeah."

"Did anything happen that you want to share with me?"

"No."

"'No', nothing happened, or `no', there's nothing you want to share?"

"Both. Neither."

"Are you sure?"

"Course, I'm sure." I'd learned a lot from past experience. Admit to nothing. It's better for them. It's better for them if they can retain a little bit of hope that yes, you've been 100% faithful.

"Ray, you can tell me. It's fine. I won't be upset."

"Benny, you just threw Gucci at me."

"I had no intention of hitting you, Ray. I'd never do that."

"You smashed my mirror, Benny."

"I'll pay for it, Ray."

"That's not my point, Benny."

"Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"Uncuff me, please."

"Are you certain you're done throwing things at my head?"

"Yes, I am."

I sat him up and uncuffed him. Benny rubbed his wrists, and slowly climbed to his feet. I tossed the cuffs and climbed into bed, completely exhausted. I got settled in, sliding over to make room for Benny. He had gone to the closet and withdrawn a bag.

"What are you doing?"

He went to the dresser and began pulling out clothes. "Packing a bag. What does it look like?"

Wow. I've never known Benny to be sarcastic with me like that before.

"Why?" I asked stupidly.

"Because I'm not staying here tonight."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know, Ray."

"But I didn't do anything!"

"Ray. Oh, Ray, Ray, Ray."

"Benny, you're being an idiot."

Benny stopped what he was doing, turned and looked at me. "And now, in addition to lying to me, you're insulting me?" He hurried and finished stuffing clothes in the bag. He went to bathroom and returned seconds later loaded with toiletries. "I'm going to Hugh's, I think."

"No! No, Benny, don't do that. I'm sorry. I'm shit. I know. I'm sorry. Don't go to Hugh's."

"And where would you have me go, Ray? I'm not staying here with you."

"Benny. Don't go. Stay here." I crawled out of bed, and began pulling on clothes from the dresser. "I'll go." No way was I going to push him into that man's arms. I pulled a small CPD duffle bag from the top shelf of our closet, and began packing my own bag. "I'll go stay at the house."

Benny nodded his satisfaction. "Thank you," he said curtly.

I put on some sneakers. I went over to Benny and moved to kiss his mouth. He turned away. "I love you," I said. Benny turned his back to me.

That's what I get. Loser.

I left our apartment, the home Benny and I had shared for almost two years. As I drove away, I reflected on what had just happened tonight, bewildered and confused. It was like a flash-fire had just come through my life in the past few minutes and burned everything I loved to a crisp.

I had nobody to blame but myself. God, how I hate myself.

Finis