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Benny & Ray 38 Ashes Dee Gilles Rated PG

My son slept on the couch in the family room, wrapped up in my old afghan. He must have come sometime late in the night, as I did not go to bed until nearly eleven. The last time he had crept home in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch was when things with Angela were getting pretty bad. Oh no, Raimundo. What have you done?

It was early in the morning, and I had come downstairs to prepare coffee for myself before I started my shift at the hospital.

Ray was wearing sweatpants and an old rag of a T-shirt, and was turned toward the back of the couch. His narrow head was pillowed on my small crocheted pillow. There was a duffle bag at his feet. Oh no. Caro.

I leaned down and gently shook him awake. "Raimundo?"

He sleepily groaned and pushed his face further down into the pillow.

"Raimundo? Caro? Wake up."

"Ma," he sleepily mumbled, barely opening his mouth. "What timezit?"

"Six fifteen. Raimundo, what are you doing here? What's wrong?"

"Me and Benny..." he said as he sat up, and then paused, not knowing how to continue, not knowing what he could say and what he couldn't.

I sighed. Time to end this charade at last. "Raimundo," I said, reaching out to smooth his short, disarrayed hair. "I know all about you and Benito."

He winced, and pulled away, made as if to stand.

"Raymond! It's all right." I reached out and grabbed his right hand before he could move away, and sat next to him.

"How did you know?" he sullenly asked, not looking at me.

"Benito told me a long time ago. I came to see him one Sunday when he failed to show up to take me to mass. I made him confess it. Caro, I always wished I'd hear it from you one day. I've always been a little hurt that you didn't feel that you could come to me and tell me; you're my son."

"I'm sorry, Ma. I always wanted to."

"So tell me now." I took my son's other hand in mine, forcing him to face me. His hands felt very warm in mine, large and boney.

"Ma, Benny and me... we love each other. He means the world to me. You know?"

I leaned forward and kissed him. "I know. So tell me why you're here."

He studied my face for a moment, considering. I smiled to reassure him. I'd love my baby no matter what.

"Mama," he said, sounding like a little boy again, "We had a fight."

"About what?"

"Over something I don't think is that important, but something he thinks is very important."

"And what are you going to do about this?"

Raymond rose from the couch, and began to pace. "Nothing, right now. I'm going to get ready and go to work. I'll call him and try to smooth things over. And then, I'm going to go home tonight if he'll have me. If not, well, you may be seeing a lot of me for a while."

"If need be, we'll move the boys back in together, and give you your room back. But, please don't let it come to that, Raimundo. Whatever you need to do to make it right, you need to do it."

"I know, Ma. I will. I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower." He grabbed his bag and headed for the stairs and stopped. "Oh. What's the name of that florist down the street from the hospital?"

"Stargazer's.'"

"Is there such a thing as a blue flower?"

"Blue?"

"His favorite color."

"Of course. Well, there's irises. And delphiniums come in blue too."

"Either one of them cheap?"

"Raimundo!"

"Okay, okay. Which do you think Benny would like more?"

"The irises, I think. They are beautiful yet simple and sturdy."

"Irises, it is." He turned and bound up the stairs two at a time.

"Raimundo!" I called after him. "I was about to make coffee. Would you like some?"

"Love some," he called from half-way up the stairs already.

I went into the hallway after him and stood at the bottom the stairs. "Raimundo? Would you like some eggs and toast as well?"

"Yeah, Ma," he called down from the top of the stairs.

"Raimundo?!"

"Yeah, Ma?" He came back down a few stairs to peer down at me.

"I love you both, you know."

"We love you too, Ma. Everything's going to be fine." He trotted back down the stairs to give me a kiss before running up the stairs again.

Finis