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Benny & Ray 90 Clothes Make the Man Dee Gilles Rated G

"Ray, I don't see why we just couldn't go to thrift store," Ben complained. He pushed Carie in her super-rugged stroller while she fussed. She had been cranky all day, which put Ben on edge, which put Ray on edge.

"Benny, you are NOT wearing cheap, hand-me-down suits to work. I still wish you'd let me take you to the Armani Exchange."

Ben Fraser was starting at the 27 as Lt. Welsh's newest detective tomorrow. They'd put off buying new suits for Benny until the last possible moment because they couldn't decide where to get Benny's new threads. Ben had wanted to buy just a couple of new suits and go to the Salvation Army for shirts, ties and socks, but Ray said "No way, uh-uh. I can afford to dress my family better than that."

"But, Ray!"

"Benny, forget it!"

For some reason, it had turned into World War III. Ben accused Ray of being controlling and Ray counterattacked with the complaint that Ben was too oblivious. Image mattered, Ray stressed, even if Benny didn't wan to admit it. Stupid thing to fight over, clothes, sure. But Ray blamed it on the heat making them both cranky and irritable. Chicago was in the grips of heat wave. It had been at least 99 for the past six days, and Benny and Ray were ready to kill each other. Even the baby was aggravated.

They hurried from the air-conditioned SUV through the sultry August heat, and into the cool air-conditioned comfort of Chicago's newest Men's Wearhouse.

Ray stopped just inside the door and looked around. "Wow," he commented. The store was gorgeous. There were suits, slacks, shirts and shoes everywhere. The mother lode. He hadn't bought anything new for himself in ages. He mentally filed away a note to come back next week once Benny forked over his allowance money. He fingered a couple of price tags of shirts. Sure, he didn't need to buy suits for work anymore, since he was a uniform again, but he still liked a good cabana shirt. Oh, yeah, he thought. But he pulled his thoughts away from himself.

Carie began to make her little quacking noises, and Benny knelt to pick her up and comfort her before the screaming began. Ray cut him off, reaching for the baby in the stroller before Ben could reach her. "I gotter, I gotter, Benny! Go! We only got about an hour before the place closes."

"Alright, Ray! Alright!" But Ben stood rooted to the spot, paralyzed.

Ray sighed as he bounced Carie up and down. He held her facing outward, in one hand, like a football. He absently swayed with her every few seconds. "Over there," Ray pointed. "Let's start with a basic blue and black; those are easy."

Ben pulled a couple of jackets out and turned his mouth down at the price tag. Ray snagged one.

"Two for $500? That's cheap!"

"Really?"

"Pronto Uomo. That's a pretty good brand. Versini. Nice." Ray hoisted Carie over to Benny. "Here. I'll grab the suits." Ray quickly and efficiently pulled together some Jones New York, and some Calvin Klein. He got into it. "Hey, $299 for a Calvin Klein, Benny. That's great. Try this one on. And grab that Versini. No, not the three-button, the two."

"What difference does it make?"

"Well, you get to flash more shirt and tie with a two-button. Plus, you're a little shorter in the torso, so it'll make you look longer....And slimmer."

Benny shot him daggers. A bead of sweat dripped from his temple, which he impatiently wiped away with the same hand that was holding the suit. "Are you saying I'm fat, Ray?"

Ray's eyes and hands went wide with surprise. "I didn't say that."

"But you implied it."

"I did not. You're reading into things." Just so happened that Benny was looking downright pudgy in recent months. "God, you're being sensitive."

"Well, I've been busy raising a child, you know. Who has time for exercise? I mean--

"Alright, alright, already." Ray quickly smoothed Ben's ruffled feathers before it turned into yet another argument, right there in the middle of the store.

VVVVVV

Ray had taken over baby-wrangling duties as Benny tried on suit after suit. Ray stood just outside the changing room door, and talked to him. He could see motion through the door slats. "So, you got the wedding weekend off, right?"

"Yes, yes, I told you already, Ray. I cleared it with Lt. Welsh before I even agreed to the start date," Ben called. Francesca and Damon's engagement had turned from a long one to a rather short one. The place she most wanted to hold the reception was Buckingham Fountain. They had a cancellation over Labor Day weekend, so she and Damon decided to grab it, as it was booked through next July. They also had skirted the issue of the mixed faith ceremony by opting to get married by a non-denominational minister, much to Ma's consternation.

"We should probably look for a white linen suit for you. It's going to be blazing hot out."

"Oh, that would be useful. Then next year, I'll have something to wear to Tommy's White Party."

"Oh, don't even start up again, Benny. Don't even start."

"Tommy's a nice guy, Ray."

"Yeah, I know that. What are you trying to say?"

"Well, I'm surprised, that's all. It's just that most of your friends are..."

"Shifty?"

"Well. Yes."

"You know, I have to confess that you and Tommy being friendly is a little weird. Whatta you, talk about me when you gossip on the phone?"

"Don't be so paranoid. We talk about plenty of other things."

Somehow, Ray had the feeling he didn't want to know what Ben and his knew buddy Tommy talked about. He changed the subject. "Are you about done in there? Let me see."

"Oh no, I don't think so...Think you can get me the next size up in pants, Ray?"

Ray rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, but he complied. Ben had sent him back and forth multiple times already. He switched Carie to his hip. He moved quickly. They only had another half hour in which to shop.

VVVVVV

Ray had put three good suits aside, and now Benny modeled a light-weight summer khaki suit with a white shirt and pink tie. He had Benny turn as he eyed him critically. Benny did a 360 turn self-consciously. Ray had a little smirk on his face.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Ben accused.

"Well, it's kind of like you're my own personal dress-up doll, yeah. This is kind of fun." Ray grinned. He was also was sadistically enjoying Benny's discomfort immensely. Benny hated shopping, especially for himself. Ray had seated himself on a bench near the entrance to the dressing room, with Carie on his lap. She greedily sucked from a bottle. "I'm not sure if I like that one," Ray commented.

"Why not? Ray, this is the third khaki I've tried on."

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if that shade is right for you. It looks too yellow. You look jaundiced."

Ben sighed wearily, and walked back toward the dressing room.

"Show me the Calvin," Ray called. He detected more rustling as Ben got undressed, and watched each leg momentarily disappear from view as he stepped out of the old pants and into the new ones. Benny had beautiful calves, Ray realized. He also loved his toes. Benny's toes gripped the floor as he balanced on one leg as he changed pants. Ray was distracted from his view as Carie began to cry. He looked down and realized the bottle was empty. He pulled the nipple from her mouth and she began to wail.

"She probably wants some food, Ray. Give her the apple sauce," he called.

"What apple sauce?"

"The apple sauce I asked you twice today to make sure you packed."

"Oh. Yeah, you did."

"Did you bring it?"

"Oh. Damnit, I forgot Benny. Sorry."

"Oh, Ray!"

"Look, I said `I'm sorry', alright?"

"But I asked you twice, Ray!"

"What do you want from me?"

Carie let loose, screaming bloody murder. Ray put her on his shoulder and began to bounce her.

Ben had come out of the dressing room in the khaki Calvin Klein. He had a look of great annoyance on his face. "Here, Ray, I'll take her."

Ray gladly handed her over. Ben took Carie over his shoulder and began to bounce with her, cradling the back of her head, murmuring sssssshhhhh! He looked at Ray like he was the devil.

"I like the suit," Ray said lamely. "Nice fit, good color."

"We're not getting this suit, Ray. It's $349! We could go to Savers and I could probably get four for this price."

"No, we're not getting you cheap, used suits, and besides, they're closing in twenty minutes anyway. We'd never make it in time."

"We're not spending $349 of our hard-earned cash on one suit, Ray. It's a sin." He had to talk loudly to make himself heard over the crying baby. A man walked by his harried lover and tossed him a spicy look, which Ben pointedly ignored. Dealing with a crying baby in public just didn't faze him anymore

Carie suddenly stopped crying, and hiccupped a little. After several seconds, Ben wrinkled his brow, and then made a face. He pulled his daughter away abruptly. "Oh!" he cried. Carie had spit up on his shoulder.

"Shit! Turn around!" Ray stood and grabbed Benny, spinning him. Regurgitated formula dripped down Benny's back. "Well. I guess we'll take it after all," Ray said. Benny sighed.

The total bill came to $1867.84 for four new suits, plus various shirts, ties and shoes, and socks.

Ray quipped that he'd better get used to shelling out the big bucks because they would be back in the fall for some winter suits--two-button--and a wool dress jacket and dress shoes. Ray could have sworn that Ben turned green as Ray handed over his credit card to the clerk.

"It's worth, it Benny," Ray assured him. "I'm sure you've heard that old Eskimo saying `clothes make the man' right?. You'll thank me one day."

Ray trailed after Benny and Carie, toting the suits and accessories with a very self-satisfied smile on his face.

FINIS