Like Ruth
Fraser sees friendship, at first
in their shared meals and activities
but there's the promise of more
in Ray's touches
that fine line between
platonic and romantic
he's often hard pressed to decipher.
So few have touched him before.

When it becomes clear
Ray wants him too
and the touches expand to intimacy
that includes Ray offering himself
open and trusting and so warm inside,
Yet Fraser is still unsure just how deep it goes
. He'd like to imagine
he sees love.

Fraser wants it all, he thinks
but can't bring himself to ask
for anything. Everything.
For Ray to bend him over the bed
break open his shell
and love him like he loves Ray
.
Fraser thinks he can measure acquiescence
in the graceful arc of Ray's spine
Acceptance
in his pale neck exposed for kissing.
Urgency
in Ray's invitation to
"Fuck me, Fraser, Come on,
put it in me now"
Crude and beautiful words
from a man of rough beauty
So different from how Ben thinks
of himself.
staid and stilted.
He wants it,
but until he knows,
he just can't let Ray in.

"I'm sorry, Ray," Fraser says
mortified and miserable.

"We don't have to do this,
you know, I'm happy now
just the way things are.
But if it's not the sex,
if you need more,
then that's cool, too."

Come to find out
Ray reads him as well
as he reads the criminals they apprehend
as Fraser once read through his grandparents' libraries
. Ray knows exactly what Fraser needs to hear.

"This isn't just a 'you' thing
It's a me thing
A 'you and me' thing
A 'we' thing.
Fraser, don't you get it?
We're an us.
Partners. and we'll always be,
no matter if we fuck,
or fight,
or fall asleep to the TV.