Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, and I am making no money off this.

Author's Notes: I came up with this story after a conversation with mrs_laugh_track about homophobe!Vecchio fics. She also beta'd. Among other things, the subject of Frannie and Ray's argument was her brilliant concept! (Unless, you know, you hate it. In which case, mine all the way.)

Ray pulled up in front of the Consulate and waited for Fraser to get out of the car. Instead, Fraser scooted towards him on the seat and bent his head like he was gonna kiss Ray.

"Whoa whoa whoa, Fraser!" Ray said, putting up his hands. "You realize the Consulate has windows, right?"

Fraser's face went blank. "Does it matter if someone sees us, Ray?"

Ray tried to squash the guilty feeling in his stomach. "I just--can't we just keep things under wraps for a while, Benny? I mean, last night was the first time we ever--you know--and I just don't think anyone needs to know yet, okay?"

"Understood," Fraser said, and got out of the car.

###

one week later.

"Jeez, Frannie, I can't believe you recorded the Miss America pageant over my copy of Saturday Night Fever! What were you thinking?"

"It's not like you were ever going to watch it again," Frannie insisted, nearly blinding him for life with an accusing finger. "It was just sitting there collecting dust. Not that you would know because the last time Ma made you dust the living room, you were ten. Honestly--"

"Well, maybe if you were smart enough to break her favorite lamp, you wouldn't have to either. And yeah, I was going to watch it again. How do you think I figured out it was gone? What do you need with the Miss America pageant, anyway?"

"Inspiration," Frannie snapped. "It's nice to see that somewhere, there are women who are appreciated for something other than their willingness to wash their brothers' dishes!"

"So you want to be appreciated for your breasts instead, huh? Maybe if you wore something a little lower cut, you could--"

"You know, next time I'm cleaning, I could break something of yours," Frannie said. "Or maybe I could spill some bleach on your shoe collection!"

She was completely ignoring Fraser, and every time Ray glanced at the guy his frown was a little deeper. Ray was starting to think Fraser was annoyed that Frannie had stopped trying to seduce him--which annoyed the hell out of Ray.

Frannie was in the middle of some really creative Italian name-calling when Fraser said, "Ray, I need to speak to you in private for a moment," and nodded meaningfully down the hall.

Frannie raised an eyebrow and smirked. Ray started to blush. He was pretty sure that that wasn't what Fraser meant, but since a quickie in the supply closet was high on Ray's list of Fraser-related fantasies (below doing it in the Riv on a stake-out, but above doing it in the uniform), he followed Fraser just on the off-chance.

The door shut behind them, and he was alone with Fraser in a small, dark space, with his co-workers right on the other side of the door. Oh yeah...

"Ray," Fraser said, breaking into Ray's pleasant thoughts. "Frannie knows."

Ray blinked. "Yeah, so?"

"I thought you didn't want to tell anyone," Fraser said in that special polite voice that meant I am only being polite because I know exactly how much it irritates you.

"Well, yeah, but I had to tell Frannie," Ray explained. "I mean, if I didn't, she would have kept hitting on you. And then when she found out, I would never have heard the end of how I let her make an idiot out of herself--like she needs any help from me for that--and how I lied to her and I'm a terrible brother and probably we'd get around to how she's been picking up my socks for thirty years. Who needs it?"

"How did she take it?" Fraser asked neutrally.

Ray shrugged. Why did Fraser care? It wasn't like he hadn't been more than happy to use Ray as Frannie-repellant in the past. "She was pretty pissed, but you know, these things happen. It's not like she hasn't stolen guys I had my eye on before. This one time, she--"

"So you're not in the cupboard," Fraser said, sounding really confused.

Ray rolled his eyes. "In the closet, Fraser. I'm not in the closet."

"But Ray, you are in the closet."

"I'm in the supply closet at the 2-7, Fraser. I'm not in the closet. I mean, I don't wear my rainbow tie to work, but plenty of people know."

"You have a rainbow tie?" Somehow Fraser didn't sound any more enlightened.

Ray shifted uncomfortably. "It was the eighties," he tried to explain. "I was proud. Besides, it was great for picking up guys." Then he realized where Fraser was going with this. "You thought I didn't want to tell anyone because you're a guy!"

"Well, yes, Ray," Fraser said. "It seemed the logical conclusion."

"And you still did it?"

Fraser clasped his hands behind his back, stiffly. "You asked me to, Ray."

Ray's chest felt tight. "You gotta stick up for yourself more, Fraser!" he said. "You can't let people walk all over you like that. Even if it's me. Okay?"

"Whatever you say, Ray." There wasn't a hint of sarcasm in Fraser's voice, but Ray could tell that if it weren't dark in the closet, his eyes would be gleaming with amusement.

"Haha, very funny," he said sourly. He reached out and fumbled for Fraser's hand. "I ain't--I ain't ashamed of this, Benny. How could anybody be ashamed of you? But we've only been together a week! You tell people about a relationship too soon, you jinx it."

"You do?" Fraser asked.

"Sure," Ray said. "Come on, haven't you ever started something with someone you been into for a while, and you tell everyone you can think of right away? You tell your family, you tell all your friends, you tell cab drivers, for Christ's sake!" He tried to wave his arms dramatically, realized he was still holding Fraser's hand, and settled for gesturing with one arm. "And then two weeks later it's over and for months afterwards all those people you told when you were so happy you couldn't see straight, they keep asking you about it and you gotta explain you were dumped on your ass. And you know they're just looking at you going, 'Well of course you got dumped, you pathetic piece of shit.' Like you don't already want to kill yourself."

"Well, yes, Ray," Fraser said.

Ray did a double-take. "Wait, really?"

"Yes," Fraser said. "Fairly often, actually. I suppose that's why I was eager--perhaps overeager--to show you off."

"Wait," Ray said again, stupidly. "You were eager to show me off?"

"Yes, Ray," Fraser said, sounding defensive now. "I've come to accept that I am superficially attractive, but rarely has anyone been able to tolerate an actual relationship with me for longer than a few weeks. Whereas you already know me, and you still want to--well, you know."

It was like Ray's entire insides turned to mush. Angry mush. Too bad all Fraser's exes lived in Canada where he didn't have the connections to get them speeding tickets. "We do know each other already, don't we?" he said slowly. And yeah, he'd had plenty of friendships get weird on him when sex entered the picture, but this was Fraser. This was for keeps.

Fraser nodded.

"You better promise me you aren't thinking about calling it off," he warned.

"Nothing could be farther from my mind," Fraser said.

"Okay." He leaned forward and gave Benny a hard, quick kiss. "Watch this." He opened the door of the closet and went back to the bullpen. He didn't turn around to see if Fraser was following, but he knew he was anyway. Hmm. He'd actually already planned this out, and in his plan he told Elaine first, because she needed to stop tossing her annoyingly plentiful hair at his man. But that wasn't the point anymore. Right now he needed the biggest gossip in the station.

Huey and Louie walked in the door. Well, speak of the devil.

Ray sauntered over. "Hey guys," he said.

"Well, if it isn't Vecchio!" Gardino said. "Come to beg us for help on another case?" Huey sniggered.

Ray just smiled. He already knew he was coming out ahead this time. "I was wondering," he said, "is that little Russian place around the corner any good? I was thinking of taking a date there. He likes ethnic food."

It was like the wolf when he smelled a bag of chips. Ray could actually see their ears prick up. "Got a new guy, huh, Vecchio?" Gardino asked. "Anyone we know?"

Ray shot a glance at Fraser, who was standing across the room by Ray's desk, staring into space and listening intently. "Maybe," he said. He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Huey stared, and Gardino's jaw dropped. "No!"

Ray grinned. "Jealous?"

For a second Gardino was actually speechless. "You and the Mountie? I mean, you and the Mountie?"

This was great. It had been kind of killing him not bragging all week. Ray nodded.

"He could have anyone," Huey said blankly.

And he picked me, Ray thought.

"Lucky for you he likes badly-dressed Italians," Louie said.

"Nah, in that case he'd be dating you," Ray said sweetly.

"Hey, this is a nice suit!" Gardino said. "Unlike that piece of shit you're wearing. Did the truck driver tell you it was Armani?"

Normally those would have been fighting words, but at the moment Fraser was looking at him like maybe that quickie in the supply closet was in Ray's not-too-distant future. Ray could afford to be generous.