Story Notes: Written in June 2008 for Pocketmouse, as part of Sisterofdream's anti-sap Arbor Day Cardathon. It was a note from Fraser to Ray Kowalski, written inside a card with a picture of a country train station with two empty tracks. And remember, an anti-sap card, so angst ahead.

Ray--

I had worked out all manner of--thematic commentary for this card. The train station, you see, was meant to symbolize "journeys end in lovers meeting"--to say, in other words--"apology accepted, you are most welcome to return to our apartment." And I was going to write something poetic about Arbor Day being a most appropriate time to forgive you for an incident that was nothing but--sap rising, a meaningless fizz of hormones.

It was all quite clever. You would have rolled your eyes, but you would have liked it.

I find, however, that I cannot write that, because none of it is true. Your--brief resumption of relations with Stella was not merely hormonal for you. I realize, most belatedly, that wanting Stella is who you are. You did not, after all, recover from what you now term "springtime craziness" until she told you to leave, did you? Not when I asked you to come back.

I have no doubt that, sometime in the future, she'll snap her fingers again, and you will go, and eventually she'll send you away. She will always send you away, Ray.

I would never have sent you away.

So instead the train station is here to say: Dief and I are going home, to Canada. I cannot do this, I cannot watch this any more.

I truly, sincerely hope that you have a happy life, Ray. I must admit that I think it unlikely.

-Benton Fraser