Three Men and a Baby
by sam80853
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
Author's Notes: Written for Fraser-meets-Ray with many thanks to akamine_chan and primroseburrows, and nicci_mac for her cover art.
Three Men and a Baby
There once were three very different men sharing a condo in Chicago. Actually, three men and a half-wolf.
One of them wasn't even American; he was a Mountie. A Mountie, who came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father and remained for reasons that do not need exploring at this juncture. His name was Benton Fraser. Diefenbaker, the half-wolf, followed him, stating that Benton was too clumsy a person to be left without guidance.
The other two men were both called Ray. This might have been confusing for somebody who didn't know them.
The first Ray was Raymond Vecchio, the eccentric owner of a bowling alley. He actually had been a Chicago detective but had been replaced by Stanley Raymond Kowalski, who preferred to be called Ray also.
Ray Kowalski had been transferred to the 27th precinct to go undercover as Ray Vecchio, when Vecchio was pulled into an undercover operation with the Mob.
How they all ended up sharing one condo will always remain a mystery.
This story began when Ray Vecchio came home from work - the bowling alley could do without him on this Thursday, he figured, and had left. Early. He was whistling as he came up the steps, when he caught sight of a basket in front of his apartment door.
The former cop in Ray urged him to be careful; he slowly stepped forward, looking suspiciously over the edge of a huge blanket and into the face of a sleeping baby.
A baby.
Ray frowned.
Who would put a baby on his doorstep?
A note was on top of the blanket and Ray, careful not to wake the baby, reached for it and read it. He immediately started swearing under his breath.
"Son of a...," he caught the last word. He really shouldn't swear in front of the baby. Emma, the note said her name was. Kowalski's baby.
Ray picked up the basket and carried it inside, not quite sure what do with it. He looked around for a place to put the basket down when Emma woke and started crying.
"Oh great," Ray cursed, and placed the basket on the kitchen counter. He looked helplessly between the door and the small scrunched-up face, but the door didn't open. Yet. It would still be a while until Kowalski and Benny returned home.
"You owe me for this, Kowalski," Ray muttered, and carefully took the baby out of the basket.
She --Emma, Ray reminded himself-- was pretty small and Ray's hands seemed huge around her body. Emma didn't stop fussing, though, and Ray wondered why until a distinctive smell hit his nose.
"Argh!" Ray pulled a face in disgust. "You really had to, didn't you?" he asked Emma, who apparently got offended and started crying louder.
Ray took a deep breath and put Emma down on the counter, grabbing some Kleenex and a kitchen towel. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a diaper sticking out of a bag tied to the basket. Ray carefully reached for it, holding Emma down with one hand so she couldn't roll off the counter.
Slowly Ray opened Emma's romper suit - trying not to shift the kitchen towel underneath her and then unpinned her diaper.
"Ew, that's disgusting." Ray held his nose, looking at the mess in front of him. How the hell was he going to do this? He figured he had to hold his breath instead of holding his nose, for a start.
He lifted Emma to get the dirty diaper off her, then stretched out his leg to step on the lever of the garbage can and dropped the diaper inside. The smell didn't fade, though, which wasn't surprising when considering Emma's dirty bottom.
"Wonderful," Ray muttered. He looked around but there wasn't anything he could, or would, use to clean Emma up. In desperation he turned on the tap, testing the water, and then he laid Emma on his forearm and put her butt first under the spray.
Emma seemed to enjoy the procedure and started babbling happily, her arms waving.
"Uncle Ray is clever, isn't he?" Ray asked, watching with satisfaction as the mess disappeared down the drain. Not all of it but Ray was content that he was able to deal with the rest. He lowered his face to Emma's level and made faces at her, which made her giggle even more. Ray was so caught up that he didn't hear the door opening, and he missed Kowalski's and Fraser's expressions of surprise finding their roommate bathing a baby in the sink.
"Ray!" Fraser sounded scandalized; he moved toward the tap and shut it off.
"Hey!" Ray Vecchio yelled. Emma turned her head in the direction of the intruder, her eyes catching sight of Diefenbaker at Fraser's side, and smiled wider, her arms reaching toward him.
"You suddenly sprout a kid, Vecchio?" Kowalski asked, closing the door with his foot and stepping beside Fraser.
Ray Vecchio straightened, holding Emma's wet form against his body. "No, actually you did," he said, pushing Emma into Kowalski's arms.
Kowalski didn't quite know how to deal with the baby in his arms, and his eyes darted between Vecchio, Fraser and the baby. "What the hell?"
"May I?" Fraser gently took the baby from Kowalski and placed her against his own chest, one hand on her head and one under her backside.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Vecchio?" Kowalski started pacing nervously. Ray Vecchio reached for the note, holding it out to him.
Kowalski took the paper gingerly, holding it as if it would explode in his hands at any moment. He flopped heavily onto the couch and began to read.
Fraser moved toward him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Ray?" Kowalski, whose eyes were fixed on the paper in his hands, didn't respond.
"Her name's Emma." Kowalski suddenly looked up, locking eyes with Fraser.
"Are you...?" Fraser began, but was interrupted by Vecchio.
"'Course he is. Look at all that blond hair."
"Ray, really," Fraser responded. "Just because Emma and Ray share a certain resemblance doesn't necessarily mean...," he paused, noticing Kowalski nodding his head.
"She's mine, Frase," Kowalski said.
"His and Stella's," Ray Vecchio added. "Give her to him, Benny." He watched Benny handing her over, Fraser's face carefully guarded to not reveal his true feelings about the whole mess.
"C'mon, Benny," Ray Vecchio reached for Fraser's sleeve and pulled him toward the kitchen, allowing Kowalski some time alone to absorb what happened in private. Only Diefenbaker stayed by Kowalski's side, his head cocked to watch the newcomer.
~::~::~::~
Ray Kowalski was sitting at the couch, watching his daughter watch him. He was half-shocked and half-- he didn't know how to describe what he was feeling. Everything was in thumbnail, cold shivers followed by hot ones running through his body.
It was slowly dawning on him--he had a kid. A daughter. A baby. What the hell was he going to do?
Emma moved in Ray's arms, babbling quietly and stretching out one small arm to touch his face.
"Hey kiddo," Ray whispered softly, only then noticing that Emma was still bare-ass naked. "Vecchio!" he yelled. He stood up, holding Emma so her backside didn't touch his shirt, and carried her into the kitchen.
Fraser looked up from his newspaper. "Is something amiss, Ray?" before noticing the baby's bare bottom and adding, "Oh, I see."
"Yeah, everybody can see it, Frase," Ray said sarcastically, looking helplessly around. "That's the problem."
"Diaper's over there." Vecchio pointed to a clean diaper next to the sink when Diefenbaker trotted over and grabbed one for Kowalski.
"Thanks, Dief," Ray Kowalski said, taking the diaper and eyeing it. "Right," Ray cracked his neck nervously and laid Emma gently down on the kitchen counter. "How the heck does it work?"
"Don't look at me." Vecchio waved and turned toward his room; he had done his part already.
"Frase?" Ray turned helplessly to Fraser.
"It's not difficult, Ray. It's all a matter of simple mechanics. Here, let me show you how to--"
"Let him do it, Benny. It's his responsibility." Vecchio said before closing the door, leaving Kowalski and Fraser to deal with the baby.
"C'mon, Vecchio, that's not fair," Ray sulked. He fiddled with the diaper but the thing didn't make much sense.
"May I, Ray?" Fraser stepped in, taking the diaper out of Ray's hands. He skilfully lifted Emma up and put the diaper underneath her; two easy steps and the diaper was properly fastened.
"Where did you learn to do that?" Ray asked curiously, studying Fraser's work for later reference.
"I once read a book at my grandparent's library...," Dief whined in annoyance and Fraser looked at him. "You would do good to read up on some matters yourself," Fraser chided his canine companion, which made Diefenbaker turn and walk off to the living room.
"You pay and pay and pay," Fraser mumbled.
"You got everything from a book?" Ray asked.
"No, Ray, that's just silly. Even though I learned quite a lot from books I also had some resourceful teachers who helped broaden my knowledge."
Both men fell silent, watching Emma.
"I gather she's staying with us, then?" Fraser asked.
"Yeah," Ray nodded. "She's my daughter, of course she's staying."
"Certainly," Fraser said. Ray kept on watching his daughter; he just couldn't focus on anything else.
"Perhaps I should fetch some necessary items for Emma from the nearby store?"
"That would be great, Frase. Thanks." Ray answered absently, his gaze glued to Emma.
"Well, then." Ray felt more than saw Fraser leave, Diefenbaker in tow.
Vecchio reappeared as the door clicked shut. "Where's Benny going?" he asked.
It took Ray a few seconds to answer. He was too busy staring at the baby.
"Stanley!"
"Huh? Oh, he's buying some stuff for Emma." His gaze was still fixed on Emma, his hands fiddling with her diaper. He had a daughter.
"You sent the Mountie shopping?"
"He offered!" Kowalski said defensively.
"'Course he did." Vecchio shook his head. "There's nothing he wouldn't--," he paused and waved his hand. "Never mind."
"Who stepped on your toes, Vecchio?" Ray asked, wondering what Vecchio was getting at.
"Just don't think you can steamroll me as easy as Benny."
"Nobody asked you to," Kowalski shot back and both men glared at each other. Their relationship had always been rough, mainly because of their equal protectiveness of Fraser. Fraser had been Vecchio's friend first but had become friends with Kowalski when Vecchio came back from undercover. Both had been afraid of losing Fraser's friendship when their lives had collided. It mostly worked, though. They respected each other, even though it didn't always show.
A whimper from Emma interrupted their silent battle. She turned her face toward Kowalski's chest and began sucking on a fistful of his T-shirt
"What's she doing that for?" Kowalski asked.
"She's hungry, you moron." Vecchio rolled his eyes.
Ray's remark never came; Fraser was standing in the door, bags in hand.
"Vecchio!" Ray bellowed. "Give him a hand, will ya?"
Vecchio walked over, relieving Fraser of one of his many bags.
"Thank you kindly, Ray."
Fraser and Vecchio put the contents of the bags on the kitchen counter - Diefenbaker held a rubber duck in his mouth.
Kowalski watched, open-mouthed. He stood there gaping at the array -- diapers, wet wipes, some baby toys.
"What'd you do, Fraser, hijack a Toys R Us?"
"There was only so much I could fetch at the corner store, Ray." Fraser looked apologetic. "Tomorrow we`ll have to buy a proper crib, clothing, a baby seat for your car."
"Whoa." Kowalski stopped Fraser's stream of words. "Slow down there, Frase, will ya?"
"Certainly, Ray."
Kowalski started pacing. "First things first. Emma's hungry." He gestured toward Emma who was still sucking Ray's t-Shirt. "We need baby food."
Fraser reached for something he had bought at the store while Vecchio took a prepared baby bottle out of the bag that came with the baby.
"I would recommend not using that one," Fraser pointed at the bottle in Vecchio's hand. "The milk could be spoilt by now," he said, and Vecchio dropped the bottle in the sink, reaching for the one in Fraser's hand.
"We just put it in the microwave, right?"
"No!" Fraser exclaimed, taking back the bottle. "It has to be heated up in water," he explained and took a pot from the kitchen cabinet, and set it on the stove.
Emma grew more restless in Ray's arms, only settling when Ray held the now warm bottle to her lips and she started sucking. Ray wasn't able to look anywhere but at Emma then.
His daughter.
He had always wanted kids, but Stella always had a reason why they couldn't. College. Law school. Life. Eventually Ray had lost Stella because of his constant nagging about kids. He had always been a persistent bastard.
Stella and he had been kaput for quite some time now, which didn't mean that they had stopped loving each other. It had never been the love that was missing. Life just interfered, and, maybe, they had just wanted different things out of life in the end.
Ray touched Emma's cheek, caressing her tenderly. He was pretty sure he knew when he and Stell had made Emma.
A bomb.
Ray still got the shivers when he thought about it.
That freak of an abusing husband had meant to blow his Stella to hell.
Thank God Fraser had been with him; he had saved the day like he always did. Fraser had even offered to take him out for dinner afterward but Ray had wanted to stay with Stella.
They had danced to their favourite songs.
It had been perfect. They had been perfect and Kowalski had proof to show for it --Emma.
~::~::~::~
Fraser watched Ray Kowalski and Emma has long as he was able to. Pain flooded his body like the tide hitting the beach and he lowered his eyes. Ray was looking at his daughter with so much love in his eyes - would ever look at him like that?
"Benny," Vecchio whispered and Fraser's painful gaze met Vecchio's for a fraction of a second until the pain in Fraser's gaze was gone, blanked out.
"I'm all right, Ray." Fraser tried a brave smile and failed.
Fraser could see in Vecchio's face that he didn't believe it but there was nothing that could be done here. Everything was going to change.
"This is going to change everything, isn't it?" Ray Kowalski asked, as if he had read Fraser's mind.
"Yes," Fraser nodded. Everything was going to change. Everything.
"Oh, c'mon, listen to yourselves, guys," Ray Vecchio said. "We don't even know yet if this is permanent. We..."
"It is," Ray interrupted forcefully.
"Stella might--" Ray Vecchio tried again.
"Stella left Emma at our doorstep," Ray Kowalski held Emma close to his body like somebody was going to take her away. "If anything I'm going to marry her. Again. Emma's staying with me, no matter what."
Ray Vecchio laughed uneasily. "Marry her? I see that one going over very well," he said.
"What's wrong with you?" Ray Kowalski asked, stepping threateningly in Vecchio's personal space.
"Ray!" Fraser stepped between the two. "Ray," he addressed Ray Kowalski, "you need to be patient." Emma's eyes had gone huge, tears welling. "And you, Ray," Fraser focused on Ray Vecchio now. "You need to--" He really had no idea what Ray Vecchio was supposed to do.
"Forget it, Benny," Ray Vecchio waved impatiently and stormed off.
"Oh dear!" Fraser whispered under his breath. He tugged at his collar uneasily.
"What's up with him?" Ray Kowalski asked. Emma burped and spit up some formula on Ray's t-shirt. "Hey!" Ray exclaimed, switching Emma onto his clean side and looking down on his shirt. "Argh, I love that shirt."
"I know," Fraser said almost inaudibly. Ray was wearing his dark-blue Rawhide shirt which, Fraser thought, looked rather fetching on him.
"Just hold her a second, willya?" Ray handed Emma over to Fraser and immediately pulled the shirt over his head, revealing his bare torso. "You think it's wrecked?
"I'm certain it'll be fairly easy to clean, Ray," Fraser smiled, watching Ray retreat to his room to fetch another shirt. Emma moved in his arms and he looked down at her. Of course, she was still too young for him to say who she favoured but Fraser nonetheless found a similarity to Ray in the shape of her ears. He tenderly touched Emma's left ear, making her smile at him, and Fraser fell for that smile almost as hard as he had fallen for her father's.
Oh dear, he thought.
~::~::~::~
Ray was standing in his bedroom door watching Fraser caress his daughter's ear and making a puffin face -- Ray almost burst out laughing, it was too funny.
Usually Fraser wasn't a touching kind if guy, except when it came to Ray himself. Fraser never seemed too far from him and...Ray liked that. And he liked that Fraser seemed to bond with Emma the way he was looking after her. It was...cute in a way only Fraser could be. In fact, it was outright adorable, Ray thought, unable to get his eyes off of them.
"Ray? Ray! RAY!"
Only Fraser's hand on his arm stopped Ray's train of thought if not his suddenly overheating body.
"Are you all right, Ray?" Fraser asked.
"Yeah, 'm fine." Ray shook himself to get rid of whatever had just come over him. Fraser was his friend, his Benton-buddy and not someone he could go gaga over.
"You can put her to bed now, Ray," Fraser said. Emma's eyes were starting to close.
"Bed?" Ray looked around. "She can't sleep in my bed. I'm always tossing and turning in my sleep and--"
"Ray!" Fraser interrupted. "She will be perfectly fine in her basket until we can fetch a proper crib."
"Right." Ray nodded, relieved. He took Emma from Fraser and set her down in her basket.
They both watched her sleep for a long moment.
"She's beautiful," Ray whispered.
"Yes, she is, Ray."
They quietly watched Emma sleep, each lost in their own thoughts.
~::~::~::~
While Ray was taking in every detail of his daughter, Fraser's heart grew more and more heavy. Deep down, in a dark, selfish corner of his mind he wished that this baby did not exist. That Ray would still be Ray, his Ray.
Fraser hated himself for these thoughts, but he was only human. He had hoped so much that his friendship with Ray would grow into more, which seemed impossible now. Ray was talking about marrying Stella...Fraser would take Diefenbaker and go back North if Ray made that vow; he wouldn't be able to witness Ray's happy life with his family. Petty of him, he knew, but there was only so much he could take.
"You look troubled, son," Bob Fraser came out of nowhere, like he usually did. Ever since his violent death Bob had made it his duty in life - well, in death, really - to support his son even though his son didn't value that expertise very often.
Fraser moaned inwardly, ignoring his father.
"Nice kid," Bob leaned in closer. "Why is everybody getting grandchildren while I'm still waiting for mine?"
Fraser glared at his father.
"Well, well, son," Bob said. "It's the new Yank's then, I gather. Which technically makes it mine if only--?"
"It is not," Fraser said, looking at his father.
"Is not, what?" Ray asked curiously.
"Hockey time," Fraser said quickly. "It's almost time."
"Oh." Ray looked at the clock on the wall. Diefenbaker followed Ray's gaze and immediately trotted over to the couch, and settled down, waiting. "We should order." Ray said.
"Yes, we should," Fraser agreed, still glaring at his father to keep him quiet. Fruitless.
"I'm not getting any younger," Bob complained. "Three or four grandchildren would suit me fine."
"You're dead, for God's sake," Fraser hissed under his breath. His father was just impossible.
"You all right, Frase?" Ray asked, reaching for the phone on the wall.
"Yes, Ray. Thank you."
~::~::~::~
Ray pressed speed dial #1 for Sandor's and ordered their usual: a large with pineapples for himself, a large one with extra veggies since nobody in town seemed to be willing to get Fraser his lichen, and an extra large Pepperoni with lots of cheese for Vecchio, who reappeared like he had known that Kowalski was ordering food.
"The game still on?" Vecchio asked.
"Yeah," Ray said, hanging up the phone. "The Hawks are gonna beat the Canucks' sorry ass!"
"Ray!" Fraser pointed at the sleeping Emma, scandalized.
"Oh. Sorry!" Ray hunched his shoulders; Vecchio looked down at Emma. "Your daddy is going to be penniless if he keeps putting his money on losers," he told her seriously.
The two Rays kept on bantering about hockey teams, picking at each other with mock seriousness--that is, until their food arrived and they had better things to occupy their mouths with.
Their hockey night went as it always did, except with less swearing because of the baby. Ray and Fraser were sitting on the couch with the baby basket between them, Diefenbaker at their feet. Vecchio was stretched out in an easy chair.
By the end Ray's team had lost, as predicted by Vecchio. The table was loaded with empty pizza boxes and beer bottles. Fraser had stuck to water as usual.
"What are you going to do with her tomorrow?" Vecchio suddenly asked, and a silence fell over the room. None of them had thought further than tonight.
Kowalski looked at Fraser, then at Vecchio; nobody said a word for a while.
"I'll just take her to work," Ray stated matter-of-factly, straightening his shoulders.
"Welsh won't be happy with you turning his station into a daycare." Vecchio said.
"He'll have to deal with it until I've figure something out," Ray declared stubbornly. He knew very well that the Lieu wouldn't be happy at all.
"'We', Ray," Fraser corrected. "Until we figure something out." He looked expectantly at Vecchio. "Ray?"
"All right, all right!" Vecchio said, defeated. There was nothing worse than Fraser's disappointed look. "We."
"Thanks," Ray said, looking at his daughter who had slept peacefully through the whole game. "I better hit the sack." He stood and took Emma with him.
"Sleep well, Ray," Fraser said before Ray closed the door to his room.
~::~::~::~
Fraser and Ray Vecchio kept quiet, only the TV commercials filling the room with sound.
"What are you going to do, Benny?" Ray asked softly. Fraser all but jerked in his seat. He rubbed his eyebrow.
"I'm going to clean." As he was standing up to do just that, Vecchio's hand on his arm stopped him.
"Benny!"
"Ray, please. It's been a tiresome day and I really should clean up a bit and turn in for the night," Fraser said, not making eye contact. "Have a good night, Ray."
"'Night, Benny." Ray said. He took some boxes to the kitchen and left the rest with Fraser.
~::~::~::~
Sleep didn't come easy for Ray Kowalski that night. At first he wasn't able to take his eyes off Emma. He still couldn't believe that he and Stella had made this amazing little person sleeping peacefully in her basket beside Ray's bed.
When Ray finally fell asleep, thoughts of different futures were haunting his dreams: he had married Stella and they were living a happy life together with a dozen brothers and sisters for Emma. But even in his sleep Ray felt that something wasn't quite right with the picture. There was a lonely figure he spotted from the corner of his eye. A man. But Ray was never able to get a clear picture of him, just a feeling that he knew the guy watching his happy family life.
Ray's dream shifted and this time Stella had taken Emma from him and he would never see her again. Ray turned and tossed in his sleep, restlessly. Ray turned around and the dream shifted, again. This time he still lived with Vecchio and Fraser and Emma. They were a different kind of family.
Then Emma was ten or eleven years old, sitting at the kitchen counter talking to Fraser, who listened intently. Something about that picture calmed Ray. It felt right seeing them together like that.
~::~::~::~
While Ray was dreaming about his future with Stella and Emma, or Fraser and Emma, and maybe a few other scenarios, Fraser was lying in bed, his hands folded over an open book on his chest. He was staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers. But there were no answers. Not really.
Ray had a child now, a family beside Fraser, Diefenbaker and Vecchio. If Ray really got married to Stella their life would change forever. Fraser was going to lose Ray, at least a part of him. He was quite sure that Ray would remain his friend, but he had hoped for something more in the future. A silly notion, Fraser knew. He sighed and picked up his book again. There was no point in dwelling on things that couldn't be changed.
~::~::~::~
Ray Vecchio snored softly, lying between his soft satin sheets. He had grown up in a huge Italian family and he had learned to sleep through pretty much anything. His life might change with the arrival of a baby in their home but there was still tomorrow to work on the problems that came with it.
~::~::~::~
Ray Kowalski sat up straight in bed, looking around in confusion. The noise reaching his ears didn't make any sense. It sounded like a baby, what the hell? Suddenly everything came back to him. Emma was crying, her little arms and legs waving.
Ray lifted Emma out of her basket and held her to his chest.
"Hey, sweetie, what's up?" He asked in a soft tone of voice but, of course, Emma didn't -- couldn't -- answer; she just screamed louder, burying her face in Ray's shirt.
"Nah, c'mon," Ray started swaying her in his arms, "Tell Daddy what's wrong." But in spite of his efforts Emma's wailing increased. Ray got a clue when Emma started sucking on his shirt again. "Hungry?" He asked. "Are you hungry?"
Ray tiptoed into the kitchen, almost tripping over Diefenbaker who lay in front of his door, trying to be quiet even though Emma hadn't stopped crying and would probably at least wake up Fraser on account of those bat ears of his. Unsurprisingly, Fraser appeared when Ray was about to heat up another one of Emma's baby bottles.
"Ray?" Fraser asked, standing in his bedroom doorway in his ridiculous red long-johns.
"I got it covered," Ray assured him. "Go back to sleep, Frase."
"I may as well give you a hand now that I'm up," Fraser offered, taking over the task of heating up Emma's bottle.
"Thanks, Frase," Ray yawned.
"You're quite welcome. Why don't you sit down?" Fraser suggested. "It'll be done shortly."
Ray went into the living room, rocking Emma in his arms and whispering to her softly. "Fraser here will have your bottle ready in a second."
Emma seemed unimpressed and cried louder.
"Please, Emma, stop crying," Ray begged.
"It's her only way of communicating with us," Fraser said.
Vecchio came into the kitchen, rubbing his face. "She must get her communication skills from her father."
"Hardy ha ha," Ray said, taking the bottle Fraser held out to him and offering it to Emma. The room went quiet immediately; only Emma's sucking noises were audible.
"Heaven," Vecchio sighed, grabbing a juice carton from the fridge and drinking straight from it. "I'm heading back to sleep, then," he announced, and left the kitchen.
Ray watched his daughter drink, his eyes getting heavy.
"Ray?" Fraser whispered, watching them both intensely. They made a beautiful picture: Ray with his blond, sleep-tousled hair and Emma's few lighter blonde strands. Fraser smiled sadly. He had known for a while that his feelings for Ray went deeper than those of friendship. In fact, he had been like a moth drawn to flame from the first day they met.
Fraser had just come back from vacation in Canada, expecting Ray --Ray Vecchio that is-- to pick him up from the airport.
When Ray hadn't been there Fraser had walked all the way to the police station only to be greeted by an impostor.
Ray Kowalski had slung his arm around Fraser's shoulders faster than Fraser could blink. A rapport had been built instantly, and Fraser really wasn't somebody who made friends easily. But Ray had torn down his defences like nobody before. And now it was as if he was a vital part of Fraser's existence.
Fraser took a deep breath to compose himself, noticing that Ray's breathing had become deep and steady; he was fast asleep. Fraser carefully took Emma out of Ray's grip. Ray mumbled a little but didn't waken, and Fraser pushed him down on his side tenderly, covering Ray's sleeping form with a blanket.
"It would appear that we will keep each other company for a bit," Fraser whispered to Emma, who looked as sleepy as her father.
Fraser fetched Emma's basket and went back to his room, followed by Dief, where they all went to sleep.
~::~::~::~
Ray woke startled to find himself on the couch in the living room while Fraser was standing in the kitchen with Emma in his arms. He blinked a few times to clear his sleep-clouded vision. Something was very familiar about the picture in front of him.
"What time is it?" Ray asked, yawning.
"It's almost 4 o'clock in the morning, Ray," Fraser answered promptly, preparing yet another bottle for Emma.
Ray stood, stretching his arms over his head and revealing his stomach. "My turn," Ray said and took over Fraser's place at the stove. "Thanks for letting me sleep."
"You're welcome," Fraser smiled. "Perhaps we should work out a schedule so each of us will be able to get some sleep," Fraser suggested.
"You think Vecchio will give us a hand?"
"Certainly," Fraser answered. "This change will affect us all, but together we should be able to handle the situation successfully."
"You already thought this through, didn't you?" Ray asked, handing over the bottle. Of course Fraser would have thought of something by now. That was his part of their partnership. Ray always went with his gut; he had hunches while Fraser usually was the more logical part. Ray always said that Fraser set 'em up and he knocked 'em down.
"I was merely--" Fraser blushed and Ray smiled.
"I really do love you," Ray interrupted, grinning.
"And I you," Fraser said.
"Not literally, of course," Ray continued like Fraser had never spoken, "but symbolically or something."
"I know, thank you."
"You're a freak."
"Understood."
"It's late. We should go back to sleep before we embarrass ourselves even more." Ray said lightly, slowly realizing what he had just said. He went back into his room with Emma, closing the door behind him, and knocking his head against it once. That was a poor choice of words, Kowalski, he told himself before he climbed back into bed.
~::~::~::~
The rest of the night went uneventfully. Emma woke and demanded a fresh diaper exactly when Ray's alarm clock went off.
Fraser was already up and dressed when Kowalski entered the kitchen. Ray handed Emma over to him on autopilot, exchanging her for a cup of coffee. Everybody in this household knew that Ray couldn't function without at least three cups of coffee.
Fraser changed Emma's diaper while Kowalski made Emma's breakfast, sipping his coffee. They worked in silence, no words were needed. It seemed like they had been doing this sort of thing together for a long time. Only Vecchio's sleep-tousled appearance broke their quietness.
"'Morning," Vecchio mumbled.
"Your coffee is done, Ray," Fraser said.
"Thanks, Benny." Vecchio grabbed a cup and poured himself some coffee, surprising everyone when he took the bottle off Kowalski and the baby from Fraser.
Ray's chin almost hit the floor when Vecchio settled down on at the kitchen table, feeding Emma while leafing through the paper.
"When everyone's done staring maybe you can spill what the plan is for today," Vecchio said, hiding his smile behind his coffee cup.
"Emma's coming with me," Ray said. "I'm a desk jockey today," he sighed. Ray hated paperwork. "We should be fine."
"Gimme a call at the bowling alley if Welsh makes any trouble," Vecchio said, taking another sip.
"You can also call me at the Consulate, Ray," Fraser offered.
"That's great, guys, thanks." Ray had known that he could count on his friends. Well, okay, maybe he hadn't been a hundred percent sure about Vecchio.
"Yeah, yeah." Vecchio said. "If she pukes on my shirt you pay for the cleaning, Stanley," he said, handing Emma back to be burped. This time Ray's T-shirt stayed dry.
~::~::~::~
While Kowalski went through his daily ritual of the three `S' - shower, shave and style - Fraser and Ray Vecchio entertained Emma, and packed a bag for a day at the station house. In the end it took some effort to close the trunk of Kowalski's '67 black GTO, which was definitely not designed for all the baby gear Fraser and Vecchio stuffed into it.
"We should meet at the mall three blocks down, Ray", Fraser suggested, standing in front of Ray's car with Emma, Diefenbaker by his side.
"What?" Ray asked. "Why?"
"Well, Ray, we don't have a car seat yet and I would sternly advise against taking Emma with us without one. It's not only illegal but highly dangerous."
"Oh. Okay."
~::~::~
Ray dropped Fraser off at the Canadian consulate - Diefenbaker insisted on staying with Ray and Emma today - and arrived almost on time at the 27th, loaded with Emma in her shiny bright-red infant seat and two bags around his shoulders and a half-wolf in tow.
He got quite a few weird looks walking in.
"Kowalski!" Welsh bellowed from his office just as Ray had gotten settled in. He sighed.
"Time to face the music, kiddo." He picked up Emma and entered Welsh's office.
"Last time I checked this was a police station and not a day care," Welsh said with a firm voice, looking at his detective. "Who's kid is this? It's not part of an investigation, is it?"
"My daughter, sir," Ray answered. "Her name's Emma." He held Emma so Welsh could see her face. Ray hoped she would charm the lieutenant so he could keep his job.
"Yours?" Welsh sounded surprised, his face softening when Emma reached towards him. "Can I hold her?"
Ray almost choked; he nodded and Welsh took Emma into his arms, making some noises Ray never though possible coming from his Lieu.
Welsh walked back and forth, rocking Emma and making her laugh.
"This is still a police station, Kowalski," Welsh repeated. "Kids, especially babies, do not belong here."
"I understand, sir. It's just for today," Ray said. He just had to keep Emma here for today. "I'm just doing paperwork and I promise we won't cause any trouble." As if on command Emma started to get restless in Welsh arms, her small face pinched before she began wailing.
"I think she needs a fresh diaper," Welsh said, handing Emma back to Ray.
"On it, sir," Ray said, quickly leaving the lieutenant's office.
"Perfect timing, Em," Ray chided softly, hurrying into interrogation room two, grabbing Emma's bag on their way.
Ray was in the middle of changing Emma -- he really was getting better at this -- when someone knocked at the door.
"Kinda busy in here," Ray called. He tickled Emma's belly, making her giggle.
"Ray?" A female voice asked.
"Not now, Frannie!" Frannie may have been the best Civilian Aide in Chicago, but she was still Vecchio's sister, and still annoying.
"Ray!" Frannie opened the door anyway, her face an expression of awe when she laid eyes on Emma. "Aw, look at you, booboo, such an adorable little thing you are," she babbled, getting closer, and making more baby-awe-noises.
"A naked, adorable little thing," Ray pointed out, quickly zipping up Emma's sleeper.
"Don't be silly, Ray!" Frannie rolled her eyes and held out her hands. "Here, give her to me."
"You know what you're doing?" Ray asked suspiciously.
"I grew up with siblings and hundreds of cousins," Frannie said, taking Emma into her arms.
"Yeah, and one of them is Vecchio," Ray replied sarcastically.
"And he's really good with kids," Frannie pointed out. "I bet Fraser is too, isn't he?"
Francesca Vecchio had a crush on Fraser since her brother had first brought him home for dinner. Becoming a Civilian Aide at the 27th was a result of that crush. Unfortunately for Frannie, she hadn't managed to get any closer to Fraser. Even her desperate attempt to overpower him with her female attributes had failed.
"He's good at everything he does," Ray answered.
"Oh, I'm sure he is," Frannie said dreamily, swaying, her eyes fixed on Emma.
"C'mon, Frannie, I got work to do." Ray took Emma from her and shooed her toward the door.
"All right, all right," Frannie griped. "Let me know if you need any help with her."
"Emma."
"Emma," Frannie repeated and left the interrogation room.
"She's hopelessly in love with Fraser," Ray explained to Emma, whose only response was to waggle her arms. "Or at least she thinks she is." He put Emma back into her seat. "You have to take a nap now. Dad has some work to do, or Welsh will kill me and you don't want that, do you?"
Emma didn't look tired, but at least she kept quiet, entertaining herself by looking around the interrogation room, playing with her feet and babbling happily, and watching Diefenbaker. When she got bored of that she demanded Ray's attention. But between changing diapers, feeding Emma and pacing with her up and down to keep her calm Ray got some actual work done. He finished three and a half reports while Frannie took Emma out for a stroll.
Welsh came in around four, took one look at the mess, and sent both of them home.
Ray was relieved; he had no idea how other people managed a job and kids at the same time. He was dead on his feet by the time he made it home.
Fraser met Ray at the door, taking Emma from him and ushering him to the sofa. Ray must have looked pretty bad for Fraser to notice that fast.
"A trying day, then?" Fraser asked. Ray only nodded.
"How do other people do it, Frase?" Ray asked, sitting down in the living room and propping his feet on the coffee table. Fraser didn't even complain.
"I can take Emma to work tomorrow," Fraser offered, rocking her gently. "I'm certain Inspector Thatcher--,"
"The Ice-Queen would throw a fit," Ray finished Fraser's sentence.
"Yes. I'm afraid she would, Ray."
"Never mind, then," Ray said. "I'm sure Welsh will tolerate us for one more day before he fires my ass."
"Ray, Lieutenant Welsh will not fire one of his best detectives." Fraser sounded scandalized. "Even if he would attempt to do so I'm certain there are laws in place to prevent such an act."
"Think so, yeah," Ray agreed, briefly closing his eyes, one hand resting on Dief's head. "But we need a plan. Sooner or later I'll have to do some actual work and I can't just drag Emma around with me."
"Certainly not, no." Fraser sat down next to Ray, and looked at Emma.
"We should hire a nanny or something," Ray suggested, feeling a little queasy just thinking about leaving Emma with a stranger.
"I agree."
Ray Kowalski and Fraser were leafing through the yellow pages, Emma peacefully sleeping in her basket, when Vecchio showed up.
"I got a car full of stuff," he greeted, "maybe you could gimme a hand?"
"Of course," Fraser was up in a second.
"What stuff?" Kowalski asked, confused.
Fraser looked embarrassed, tugging at his collar. "We thought--I mean, Ray called me at the consulate and I hope you don't mind--"
Vecchio interrupted Fraser's aimless babbling. "We bought a crib and a stroller."
"We did, yes," Fraser confessed, hanging his head.
"A crib?" Ray asked. "And a stroller?"
"You got any problems with that?" Vecchio asked mockingly.
Ray knew that Vecchio wasn't the happiest camper with the whole situation but he stood by his friends, always.
"No!" Ray said. "No, I don't. Thanks!"
While Fraser and Vecchio took Emma's stuff upstairs, Ray fixed dinner. It was the least he could do.
Emma slept right through dinner and didn't even budge during all the noise from setting up her crib. All in all, their second night went more smoothly than the first. Vecchio fed Emma, Fraser changed her diaper and then Fraser took her for a walk in her new stroller.
"What did Welsh say?" Vecchio asked later when Ray sat down with him in the living room.
"We probably have to hire a nanny," Ray sighed.
"You found one in the paper?"
"Nah, not really," Ray answered. "The first one we called was a kid herself and Fraser wanted someone more m--mat-- grown-up, and the second couldn't answer Fraser's First Aid questions, and the next didn't even know where Canada is," he chuckled sadly.
"Fraser, huh?" Vecchio laughed.
"Yeah. Nobody will ever be good enough for Fraser."
"Right," Vecchio said, his tone indicating that Fraser was probably not the only one who had a problem with handing Emma over to somebody else. "I could take her to work tomorrow," he offered.
"Yeah?"
"Sure. I'll be in the office all day"
"Thanks!" Ray said.
"Not a problem. She's a cute kid and she's..."
"...Stella's," Ray finished, cocking his head and watching Vecchio's reaction. Vecchio had always had a thing for attorneys and Stella hadn't been an exception. Of course, Vecchio hadn't made a move as long as she had been with him but he wouldn't put it past Vecchio to go for it now that he wasn't with her no more.
"You know?"
"I may be blind without my glasses, Vecchio, but I'm not stupid."
"Never said you were."
"Yeah, right," Ray chuckled sarcastically. "That's why you're after my girl?"
"Stella's not your girl," Vecchio pointed out forcefully.
"She's the mother of my kid."
"Doesn't look like she wants to be, though."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
The room temperature was rising rapidly.
"Stella's not here, is she?" Vecchio cocked his head. "She dropped Emma at your doorstep. Looks like she doesn't want to play happy family with you, Stanley."
Ray narrowed his eyes; he was about to pop Vecchio one, so it was a good thing Fraser picked exactly that moment to get back from his walk.
"Ray?" Fraser asked, looking between his friends. The air around them was so thick it could be cut with a knife.
"I gotta go," Vecchio said, using the moment for his escape. "Let me know if I take care of Emma tomorrow," he said to Ray and rushed by Fraser on his way out.
"Ray?" Fraser asked again, taking Emma out of her stroller.
"Never mind, Frase," Ray said absently, reaching out for his daughter. "Did she ever sleep?"
"I'm afraid not, no, Ray." Fraser rubbed his eyebrow. "Unfortunately our walk was constantly interrupted by female joggers who rather rudely tried to engage me in conversation."
"And?" Ray grinned, and just like that Vecchio's words were forgotten. This was Fraser at his most uncomfortable and he was going to enjoy the picture,
Fraser was a chick-magnet on any given day. But Fraser with a baby? Irresistible! Ray himself was very much a goner watching Fraser with Emma.
"I'm afraid nobody explained the environmental impact of business cards to these ladies," Fraser put at least ten cards on the table. "I couldn't even imagine where they stored these given their rather meager garments."
Ray leafed though the cards, showing one or two of the more colourful ones to Emma and Diefenbaker.
"You calling any of them?" Ray asked, already knowing that Fraser wouldn't. He just wasn't that kind of guy.
"Of course not, Ray!" Fraser answered promptly. "These women were not interested in getting to know me. They rather gave the impression of admiring my features, and Emma's," he added.
"Features, huh?"
"Appearances can be deceiving," Fraser continued seriously. "Women, especially, should be more careful in their approach of strange men. Not that women are defenceless, of course. There once was this elderly lady who ruthlessly used her purse to punish a young man who intended to steal the purse he was punished with and--"
Ray could listen to Fraser for hours if he were a patient man. Which he wasn't. And listening to Fraser's voice for any significant period of time could be dangerous. He tended to drift listening to Fraser. And when Ray drifted, sometimes he went to places he had no right to go, so he just smiled and interrupted Fraser's lecture. "You're a freak, Fraser!"
"Understood."
Together they bathed Emma, which turned out to be more enjoyable for Kowalski and Fraser than Emma. Emma, at first protested loudly against a full-body bath but then watched fascinated the toy ducks and submarines Ray had put in her bath water.
Fraser and Ray had the time of their lives, splashing water onto Emma and each other. Ray's hair was wet and covered in soapy foam and by the time Emma was ready to be dried off. Fraser blew on Ray's hair softly, making foamy bubbles dance in the air.
"You're not looking any better," Ray grinned, swiping some foam off Fraser's hair.
Fraser froze up immediately, making Ray stop in mid-swipe.
The moment seemed to last forever: Ray's hand hovering in the air and Fraser's eyes focusing on Ray.
The moment was broken when Emma decided to pee. On Ray.
"Aw, gross!" Ray yelled, holding Emma away from his body, and looking down at his wet shirt.
"I'm sure Mr--" Fraser started to say.
"--Chan can save it, I know." Ray sighed deeply. "Hold her for a second, willya?" Hehanded Emma over to Fraser and pulled the shirt over his head.
~::~::~::~
Fraser fled the bathroom, busying his shaking hands by drying and dressing Emma. In future he had to be more careful, Fraser thought, or else Ray would catch on to what Fraser was feeling for him.
"Frase?" All of a sudden Ray stood right behind Fraser; he could feel Ray's body heat. Fraser moved slightly sideways, out of temptation's way.
"You all right?" Ray asked curiously.
"Yes, Ray, of course," Fraser answered, too quickly.
"You sure? You seem a bit...freaked out."
"Freaked out? No, Ray, I assure you, I'm quite all right." Fraser picked up Emma and used her as a shield against Ray's suspicious gaze.
"If you say so."
"I do."
"Ooookay," Ray said, taking Emma from Fraser. She was smiling at Ray, her hands reaching for his face and touching his nose and mouth.
Ray's answering smile radiated so much brightness and love that Fraser had to turn away.
"How's my girl?" Helifted Emma up over his head, making her smile even brighter. "How could Stell give her up like that?" Ray asked seriously, watching his daughter. "You think she couldn't stand the idea of having a kid with me?"
"What?" The question seemed so ridiculous that Fraser was at a loss for words.
"Vecchio said that Stell probably doesn't want to play happy family with me."
"That's just silly, Ray!" Fraser exclaimed, finally finding his voice. "I don't know anyone who is more caring, loyal and loveable as you." He felt himself blush when he realized what he had just confessed, but Ray seemed too deep in thought to notice.
"But you're my partner, my buddy," Ray said. "We depend on each other."
"Partnership is like a marriage, son," Bob Fraser came out of nowhere, a baby rattle in hand. "Give and take, up and down, who left the empty butter dish in the fridge," he continued.
"Isn't that as it's supposed to be between husband and wife?" Fraser asked, ignoring his father completely.
"Way to go, son," Bob said proudly, holding the rattle out to Emma. Bob said proudly. He held the rattle out to Emma." You're going to be a fine grandchild," he told her.
"Stella never needed me as much as I needed her," Ray confessed.
"She may now," Fraser pointed out, looking at Emma.
"Benton, Benton, Benton." Bob shook his head disapprovingly.
"Yeah?" Ray asked. He seemed insecure. He'd never had much self-esteem when it came to women, especially Stella. "You think she's coming back to me?"
"Well," Fraser stalled and rubbed his eyebrow. He had not intended to send Ray in that particular direction.
"No," Bob said. "Your answer is no, son."
"Emma, of course, should not be the only reason, Ray," Fraser said diplomatically and Ray nodded his head.
"Right! Right! But I may have a chance?"
"Ray, I'm really not qualified to answer that question."
"But, if you were Stella," Ray insisted, "would you take me back?"
'In a heartbeat', Fraser very much wanted to say. He wouldn't have left Ray in the first place, but that was neither here nor there. "You'd better take Emma to bed now, Ray," he said instead. "It's quite late."
~::~::~::~
Ray paused, looking at Fraser intently before deciding to drop the topic and move into his bedroom. He kissed Emma's cheek and set her gently into the crib beside his bed.
"Sweet dreams," Ray whispered. He turned off the lights and returned to the living room where Fraser sat with a book on his lap.
"Something to drink?" Ray asked, knowing by the look on Fraser's face and his reaction earlier that something was up.
"Yes, thank you, Ray." Fraser said and took the glass of water Ray offered him.
Ray took a seat with a bottle of beer in hand. "Do you mind if I watch the tube?"
"Not at all." Fraser took his book and continued reading while Ray surfed through the channels. There wasn't anything worth watching. He chose a channel randomly, watching Fraser out of the corner of his eye.
Fraser was pretending to read, Ray could tell. His face had an absent expression and Fraser obviously wasn't thinking about the topic of his book - whatever the topic was.
Ray knew that expression; he had seen it before when a bounty hunter had come to town with two brats in tow, sweeping Fraser off his feet.
Ray couldn't tell what it had been about her. Ray certainly hadn't liked her at all. Must have been something to do with her clean-living outdoor lifestyle, even though she hadn't been honest with Fraser.
They had never known about her husband until Fraser was already committed. It had taken Ray weeks to get the old Fraser back and he never wanted to go through that again. Ever.
"Did you meet someone?" Ray asked cautiously. He only asked because he had to know if he had to secretly dispose of a body.
"Meet someone?" Fraser looked up from his book.
"Yeah. Someone, you know."
"I told you earlier, Ray, that I met people in the park," Fraser rubbed his eyebrow in irritation.
"I mean someone special, Fraser," Ray clarified. "Like a woman," he spelled it out.
Fraser chuckled sadly. "No, Ray. I didn't meet a special woman."
"You sure?"
"Quite sure, yes."
"Frase," Ray sighed deeply. "Something's up and I want you to tell me so I can shoot her and dispose of the body. For that I need a name. And an address."
"That's just silly, Ray, not to mention highly illegal. I would have to turn you in."
"Would you?" Ray asked. "Turn me in, that is."
Fraser froze in his seat. Ray realized immediately that he had hit a sore spot, and back-pedaled. "Just crazy talk, forget about it."
"No." Fraser said, his eyes locked with Ray's. "I wouldn't turn you in, Ray."
Ray was suddenly speechless. Joking about disposing of a body was one thing but this? This was way beyond joking. Fraser's eyes were desperate, a seriousness in them Ray had never seen before. There was something else going on here, but what the hell was it?
"You would let me go free?"
"I would, yes." Fraser confirmed once again, still holding eye contact with Ray.
Fraser's gaze was too intense; Ray couldn't breathe. He had to get out of there. "I, um. I'd better get to bed. Long day tomorrow." He pointed at his bedroom door and then headed for it, fast.
"Have a good night, Ray." Ray closed his door and banged his head against it a few times.
Fraser loved him!
Ray had known that, of course. He loved Fraser, too. But now he knew that it wasn't just symbolically.
Wow.
Ray flopped down onto his bed, amazed.
~::~::~::~
Fraser couldn't quite believe what he had just done. Ray's question had caught him off guard and brought back memories he would rather not think about.
Victoria.
Fraser had turned her over to the authorities despite his feelings for her. Feelings he once thought were love.
He had been terribly wrong - when he'd first met her, and when they had met again in Chicago so many years later.
It had taken Ray to show Fraser what love really felt like. And for Ray, Fraser would forget about his principles once again, knowing that this time he wouldn't end up heartbroken with a bullet in his back. Well, perhaps he'd still be heartbroken, but no matter. Fraser would do anything to keep Ray safe and happy. He would die for him, quite literally.
Diefenbaker nudged Fraser's knee in support and Fraser petted his friend.
"Thank you, Dief."
~::~::~::~
"Benny?"
Fraser had been so deep in thought that he hadn't even looked up when Ray Vecchio came home.
"I'm fine." Fraser said automatically, his hand still in Dief's fur. Ray suspiciously narrowed his eyes. "Really, Ray, I'm fine."
There was no point in arguing with Fraser, Ray knew. Benny was stubborn like a mule when his mind was made up.
"Did Kowalski say if he needed me to baby-sit tomorrow?" he asked, changing the subject.
"I'm afraid not, Ray."
Ray sighed and turned toward Kowalski's door. He knew he had been harsh earlier but Stella wasn't Kowalski's - at least she wasn't wearing his ring yet.
"Kowalski?" Ray carefully knocked and the opened the door.
Kowalski was lying on the bed, his arms over his eyes.
"What?" Kowalski mumbled, not looking up.
"Am I taking Emma tomorrow?"
"Would be great, thanks." Kowalski answered. Ray got the feeling that something went down here while he was gone.
"Listen, Ray," he started, "about what I said--"
"You were right," Kowalski interrupted.
"Was I?" Ray was surprised. Kowalski would never admit that he had been wrong about anything. Something definitely had happened here.
He cocked his head, comparing the state Fraser was in to Kowalski's. "Do I have to hurt you?" Ray asked and, finally, Kowalski lifted his head to look at him.
"No," Kowalski said. "Not yet anyway."
Ray nodded quietly and left Kowalski's room, taking a last look at Fraser before he retreated to his own room.
~::~::~::~
Ray Kowalski fell asleep in his clothes, which he only realized when Emma woke him up, demanding food and a new diaper.
He moved quietly, trying not to wake anybody, especially not Fraser. He wasn't ready to face Fraser yet. Not after what they had talked about earlier. Ray couldn't still get his head around it.
A pot with one of Emma's bottles hit the floor and Ray swore under his breath.
Ray was sure that Fraser was already halfway out of his bed when he heard approaching footsteps; Vecchio came into the kitchen, taking in the mess on the floor and sighed.
"All right, you clean up the mess, Kowalski, and I'll feed Emma," Vecchio said, and took Emma, who was still screaming for her breakfast.
~::~::~::~
A noise from the kitchen woke Kowalski the next morning. Emma wasn't crying or fussing or anything, just lying in her crib looking around and playing happily with her feet.
"Morning, Em," Ray said and lifted her up. "Smells like coffee is ready," he continued and walked into the kitchen where Fraser handed over a cup of coffee in exchange for Emma.
Everything seemed normal; Fraser acted like he always did, so Ray put the whole love thing out of his mind. For now, anyway.
"She only woke once last night," Ray said while he prepared Emma's breakfast. "You think she'll keep that up?"
"Impossible to say, Ray," Fraser said, closing Emma's diaper. "One can only hope."
"You're funny, you know that, Frase?" Ray grinned.
Vecchio came in a few minutes later, reaching for Emma like they had already set up a routine. He drank his coffee, reading the paper while Emma lay in the crook of his arm, eating her breakfast.
"I got everything under control here," Vecchio said. "You can go."
~::~::~::~
So Kowalski and Fraser left - Diefenbaker once more decided to stay with Emma - for their liaison thing, and Ray had a ball looking after Emma.
When Ray finally arrived at the bowling alley there were already five messages from Kowalski on his answering machine. He had walked to work so it had taken him quite a while to get there. He shook his head in amusement, briefly toying with not calling back right away, but deciding that something like that would be just plain mean.
"27th district, Detective Kowalski's desk," Fraser answered after the first ring.
"Anxious much?" Ray asked and he could basically see Kowalski pacing up and down, swearing under his breath.
"That is somewhat of an understatement," Fraser said just before the receiver was taken out of is hand.
"Where the hell have you been?" Kowalski yelled. "I thought you've been hit by a car or something."
"Relax, Kowalski," Ray said. "We just walked, that's all."
"Don't bullshit me, Vecchio, you never walk anywhere."
"Stanley!" Ray interrupted, hearing Fraser's calming voice in the background. "We just walked," he repeated. "The baby seat is in your car and I thought it would be safer that way."
Kowalski paused, taking in a deep breath. "Right," he said. "Sorry!"
"I won't kidnap your kid, Kowalski," Ray said.
"I know that. I...I just--"
"Freaked," Ray finished the sentence, hearing Fraser suggest the word 'concerned' in the background.
"Concerned," Kowalski repeated. "We've been concerned."
"See you guys tonight," Ray smiled. "I've got work to do," and he was about to put the receiver down when he heard Kowalski's voice once again: "Stay near the phone!"
"Bye!" Ray said brightly and hung up. "Your daddy is a lunatic," he said to Emma.
~::~::~::~
Ray Kowalski was a mess. He couldn't think, he couldn't work. Deep down he knew that Emma was safe with Vecchio - or at least as safe as anybody could be with Vecchio, and Vecchio would look after Emma. But there were so many things that could go wrong. Ray had never thought about how dangerous life could be before Emma. More than once Fraser had to take the phone receiver out of Ray's hands to call Vecchio again and assure him that Emma was fine.
How would Fraser know anyway?
"Ray. Ray. Ray. RAY!"
"WHAT?" Ray snapped; he had just pictured Vecchio accidentally knocking over his coffee cup, spilling it all over Emma.
"Sooner or later we'll have to leave the station house to investigate a crime, Ray," Fraser said.
"Later, Fraser. Later."
"But Ray, I'm certain Emma is perfectly fine," Fraser reasoned.
"You do not know that, Fraser," Ray said, heated. "And I don't either because you won't let me use the freaking phone!"
"All right, Ray," Fraser tugged at his collar, "If I let you use the phone for a single call can we do some actual police work then?"
"Absolutely."
"All right, then, go ahead." Fraser held out the receiver to Ray.
"She's fine," Vecchio said when he picked up the phone.
"How'd you know it was me?"
"Who else?" Vecchio interrupted. "Fraser's probably just giving you thirty seconds," he laughed, "so Emma's fine, Kowalski. Go and arrest some bad people." He hung up.
Ray stared at the receiver in his hand: "He hung up," he said, disbelieving. He was about to call again when Fraser placed his hand over Ray's.
"Ray," was all Fraser said. Ray froze and locked eyes with Fraser.
~::~::~::~
People in the station stopped whatever they were doing and watched Kowalski and Fraser instead. Those two seemed to be behaving kind of weirdly, well, weirder than usual, like they were having a staring contest, which Fraser would certainly win, most of them figured.
Bets were quietly made. Nobody seemed to notice what was really going on - communication.
Communication in its purest form, through eye contact only.
RAY, YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME.
I DO!
EMMA IS FINE, RAY. WE...
BUT...
SHE'S FINE, RAY. NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN, NEITHER TO HER NOR TO YOU.
PROMISE?
YES, RAY. I PROMISE.
OKAY.
Ray suddenly shrugged his shoulders and all tension left his body. He rolled on the back of his heels: "Pitter, patter, Fraser," He said and was out of the station within a blink of an eye.
"Understood." Fraser said and followed suit.
Neither of them noticed the bewildered expression on their co-workers faces.
Kowalski and Fraser had always been a weird combination; it only got weirder with a kid and Vecchio in the mix, they figured. Only Francesca Vecchio suspected that something was up. Or down. 'Hinky', as Kowalski would say.
~::~::~::~
Weeks went by and Kowalski, Vecchio and Fraser developed a routine that worked for all of them. Once in awhile they had to leave Emma with a nanny. Mrs. Amanda King came highly recommended and she had no criminal record in either the States or in Canada. In fact she had been with the intelligence community in Washington D.C. for several years which made her a perfect candidate, even for Fraser. She watched Emma for a few hours when Vecchio was out of town on business and Kowalski and Fraser were caught up in a case.
Inspector Thatcher turned out to be quite smitten with Emma. Apparently her desire for children of her own outweighed her urge to torture Fraser. He was allowed to bring Emma to work under the condition that Inspector Thatcher was allowed to take Emma for a quick walk through the nearby park.
Emma even got her own Mountie uniform that Constable Turnbull had tailored, and Emma became quite famous when she was occasionally on guard duty with Fraser, sleeping in her baby sling.
Everybody became quite settled into their new life when one evening a knock at their door interrupted their family hockey night.
Of course, it had to be Ray Vecchio who answered the door. He was only watching to mock Kowalski anyway, and Fraser was Canadian and therefore couldn't possibly be asked to take his eyes off the screen.
"Stella!" Ray said, shocked, when he opened the door to a tall, blond woman. She seemed nervous, standing at their doorstep and trying to look inside.
"Hello Ray." Stella said, smiling tentatively. "Is Ray home?" she asked.
"Yeah," Ray nodded. "He is." And it suddenly dawned on him: Stella was back. What would that mean for Emma? For all of them?
"Could I talk to him, please?" Her voice got smaller, more uncertain.
""Course," Ray laughed uneasily. "Come in."
"Thank you, Ray." Stella said, pushing her hair behind her ears. "Is...is Emma all right?" she asked, following Vecchio.
"Yeah, Emma's fine," Ray said, feeling a lump in his throat.
Stella and Ray approached the living room where Fraser and Kowalski were deeply engaged in the hockey game.
"Hello, Ray." Stella said and the room went quiet.
Kowalski and Fraser paused; even Emma stopped sucking her bottle in Kowalski's arms. Only Diefenbaker reacted by pulling his ears back and showing off his teeth.
"Diefenbaker!" Fraser reminded Dief of his manners but the half-wolf wasn't quite ready to submit. He moved closer to Kowalski and Emma, keeping his eyes on Stella.
"Stell?" Kowalski asked, disbelieving.
Kowalski looked shell-shocked, as did Fraser who had probably hoped to avoid meeting Kowalski's ex ever again.
"Can I see her, please?" Stella reached for Emma, keeping an eye on the dog. Kowalski handed Emma over andRay and Fraser exchanged panicked gazes. "She's grown so much!" Stella said with wonder in her voice, tenderly touching Emma's cheek. "She looks wonderful, Ray." Her eyes met Kowalski's. "Thank you."
"Not just me," Kowalski said. "We all looked after her."
"Thank you!" Stella said again, looking first at Ray then at Fraser.
Silence fell again while Stella doted on her missed daughter and Vecchio, Kowalski and Fraser exchanged questioning looks.
"Perhaps you should take a seat," Fraser offered politely. "I'm certain Emma needs a new diaper by now." He reached out to take her but Stella just looked at him.
"May I, please?" she asked. All Fraser could do was showing Stella the changing table.
"Thanks!" Stella said and took her daughter to change her, Diefenbaker's eyes always watching her.
"What are we going to do?" Vecchio whispered.
"What do you mean?" Kowalski asked, watching Stella outof the corner of his eye. "She's her mother; she's not going to run."
"So we're just handing Emma over?" Ray asked, his voice heated.
"Nobody is handing over anything." Fraser piped in. "Correct?" He looked at Kowalski who's eyes were fixed on his daughter. "Ray? Ray. Ray!"
"No!" Kowalski said absently. "No handing over."
"Look at him," Ray Vecchio said to Fraser. "A few more seconds and he'll start drooling."
"Ray!" Fraser said. "Ray certainly has Emma's best interest in mind and wouldn't do anything that would hurt her."
"What about us, huh?" Ray complained and Fraser lowered his gaze.
"You done?" Kowalski finally took his eyes off mother and daughter. "Nobody's getting hurt here," he said.
"Yeah?" Ray asked. "We'll see about that," he said and stormed off to his room. Vecchio knew what Kowalski was like around Stella; he had been a mess when she had dumped him. For all their sakes Kowalski hopefully wasn't gonna jump head first into a relationship with her again, even if Stella wanted it.
"I don't want to cause any trouble," Stella said.
Kowalski smiled. "You know Vecchio," he said. "He has a temper."
Stella smiled right back at Kowalski.
"Please, excuse me." Fraser said. "Diefenbaker!" He called before he closed the door to his room behind them.
~::~::~::~
"This is not the time to think things through, son." Bob Fraser was sitting on Fraser's bed. "This lady is a threat to my grandchild..."
"You don't have a grandchild, dad," Fraser interrupted.
"She's such a lovely child," Bob mused.
"That she is," Fraser agreed. "And Stella is her mother. You would certainly agree that a child needs its mother."
"You turned out quite well, son," his father said. Fraser sadly shook his head. Yes, he may have turned out quite well but Fraser knew firsthand what it was like to grow up without a mother. He'd missed her so very much. He'd needed her.
"I still miss her," Fraser confessed. Bob looked uncomfortable, and vanished into thin air without another word.
"Typical," Fraser whispered and prepared for bed.
~::~::~::~
"Where have you been? Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you tell me?" Ray asked Stella in the living room. "I called your office. Your parents. Nothing."
"I'm sorry, Ray," Stella said, lowering her gaze. "I just couldn't--"
"What? Deal with my kid, our kid? Was it so horrible?"
"Ray!" Stella interrupted. She touched his face tenderly. "No, Ray," she almost whispered, her hand caressing his face. "Ray," she said again and took him into her arms, holding onto him and their daughter. Ray's anger vanished into thin air. He had never been able to stay angry at Stella. She must have been terrified to leave Emma like that.
They stood like that for quite a while, taking comfort from each other.
"What happened?" Ray whispered into Stella's ear, leading her to the couch were they sat down.
"I was angry, yes, when I discovered that I was pregnant," Stella confessed, smiling lovingly at Ray. "There was no doubt when it had happened..."
Ray nodded. "The Orsini case."
"Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She avoided Ray's gaze. "First I couldn't believe that I had been so stupid. I never wanted children, you know that, Ray," Stella added when Ray was about to interrupt. "Then, I thought, maybe..." Her expression was ruefully, her eyes roaming over Ray's face. "We have always been good in the bedroom, Ray, but--"
"We can try again," Ray pleaded. "You and I, we've had good times."
"Yes, we did."
"Why did you leave Emma? Us?"
Stella's eyes turned sad.
"I hid my pregnancy very well," she said. "Nobody noticed and I got slowly used to the idea of becoming a mother when this case came up." Stella paused, lowering her eyes. "It was horrible, Ray." A tear ran down her cheek. "I just panicked. What a horrible world we're living in and how could I even think about raising a child? I ran, hid and I thought about giving Emma up. But when she was born--" Stella looked up at Ray. "She reminded me of you and I just couldn't--it wouldn't have been fair to you. You always wanted a child and--"
"So you dropped her on my doorstep," Ray finished, more bitter than he had intended.
"I'm not proud of what I did, Ray."
"Why did you come back?"
Stella's eyes turned serious. "I missed Emma," she said. "I missed her more than I thought possible and I want to be part of her life."
"She's quite a handful, you know?" Ray smiled, warmly now.
"She's your daughter, after all."
Ray opened his arms and Stella moved in. "I missed you too."
~::~::~::~
When Fraser walked into the kitchen the next morning Ray was sleeping on the living room couch with no sign of neither Emma nor Stella.
He walked quietly closer, watching Ray sleep. Ray's face was more relaxed than it ever was when he was awake. Ray was always on his toes, always moving. Now he seemed calm, totally at ease. A movement made Fraser look up, and catch sight of Stella looking at him. He lowered his gaze, nodding his head in greeting before he turned to his morning tasks of preparing coffee for Ray and Ray, and tea for himself.
"Good morning, Constable Fraser," Stella said, moving into the kitchen.
"Good morning."
Fraser busied his hands, avoiding looking directly at Stella. She had caught him at an unguarded moment and had certainly seen more than she should have.
"Thank you for looking after Emma. And Ray." Stella said.
"My pleasure."
Their awkward exchange of niceties was interrupted by a yawn coming from the living room.
"Frase?" Ray called, his head appearing over the arm of the couch. "Can I get some coffee? Please?"
"Of course, Ray." Fraser said, reaching for Ray's cup. Stella beat him to it, filling the cup and taking it over to Ray.
"Thanks." Ray took the cup from Stella, taking a sip. He grimaced and held out his hand for Fraser to hand him his candy. "Thanks, Frase." He said and dropped it in his coffee before he took another sip.
"You're quite welcome, Ray."
"You slept all right?" Ray asked. Fraser was about to answer when he realized that the question wasn't meant for him.
"Yes," Stella answered. "Emma is still asleep." She added.
"Not any more," Ray Vecchio said, stepping into the kitchen at the exact moment Emma made her presence known.
"I'll take care of her." Stella rushed into Ray Kowalski's room before either Ray or Fraser could react. Only Diefenbaker was fast enough, following Stella.
The three men were standing in the kitchen, listening to Stella soothe Emma. They felt kind of lost to not being able to look after their baby.
"She staying?" Vecchio asked, pointing toward Kowalski's room.
"Dunno yet," Kowalski said, taking another sip off his coffee. "We haven't discussed the details yet."
"Hmm," Vecchio said. "What were you guys doing last night, then?"
"Ray!" Fraser said, rubbing his eyebrow.
"Just asking," Vecchio said. "Did she explain why she left Emma like that?"
"She did." Stella was walking into the room, her voice was icy.
"So?" Vecchio asked, his tone challenging.
"I believe that is none of your business, Mr. Vecchio."
"That so?" Ray Vecchio straightened. "What happens next time you decide you can't handle it, huh?"
"Ray! Vecchio!" Fraser and Ray Kowalski said unison.
"That won't happen," Stella replied, holding Ray Vecchio's gaze. "Not if you help me."
Shocked silence fell over the room.
"What do you mean?" Ray Kowalski was the first one to regain his voice.
"I'm not going to take Emma from you, Ray." Stella almost whispered, looking straight at Ray Kowalski. "Or from you, she said," her gaze shifting to Ray Vecchio. "Or from you, Constable Fraser. You took care of my baby girl and I don't want that to change."
"You moving in with us?" Ray Kowalski asked, his expression still perplexed.
"What? No!" Stella laughed, but when all three men kept looking at her seriously her amusement faded.
"She could." Ray Vecchio said.
"You could," Ray Kowalski agreed while Fraser kept quiet. He certainly would rather not have her move in. "You could have my room, you..."
"Ray!" Stella lifted one hand to stop her ex's next words. "I couldn't possibly accept that offer but...thank you."
"Why not?" Apparently Ray wasn't giving up that easily. "We have a routine going and..."
"Ray." Now it was Fraser's turn to say something. "Perhaps Assistant State's Attorney Kowalski wouldn't feel comfortable sharing living quarters with three men, two of them who are rather unfamiliar to her."
""Okay, okay!" Ray Kowalski shrugged his shoulders. "I just thought it would be easier for everyone."
"Thank you, Constable Fraser." Stella said an expression of relief on her face.
"You're quite welcome." Fraser returned dryly. He would suffer most if Stella Kowalski would move into their home.
"All right, enough with the niceties," Ray Vecchio said, his voice annoyed. "You guys are going to be late for work," he pointed at Ray Kowalski and Fraser. "We need to figure something out quickly."
"I'm taking Emma home," Stella announced and when everybody looked at her in shock she added: "For today. We can discuss further arrangements tonight."
"Sounds like...a plan," Ray Kowalski said hesitantly.
"Yeah," Ray Vecchio agreed equally enthusiastically.
"I'll come by around seven then," Stella said and without further ado left with Emma before any of them could object.
"Well," Fraser said, staring at the door.
"Exactly," his friends said together.
~::~::~::~
The day went by painfully slow. Kowalski caught himself staring at the vacant baby seat in his car more than once while Fraser kept absently touching one of Emma's toys he kept in his uniform jacket.
Diefenbaker seemed equally confused, offering his stuffed animal to almost everybody entering the police station.
Ray Vecchio, for his part, thought that his office had become way too quiet without a babbling/giggling/crying baby by his side, and felt unable to get any work done. At one point he opened one office window for the city noises to relax himself. Fruitless. He missed little Emma more than he thought possible.
When seven o'clock finally rolled around three men and a half-wolf were impatiently waiting for a knock on the door.
The knock came at 7:01:25 exactly and Diefenbaker was the first at the door, closely followed by Ray Kowalski, who tried to compose himself before he opened it. He all but pulled Emma out of Stella's arms, kissing his daughter's face over and over again.
Stella smiled. "Anyone who didn't know better would think we were gone for months," she said, closing the door behind her while Kowalski followed her into the living room.
"It sure felt like it," he said, handing Emma over to Vecchio when he was finally able to let go of Emma.
It took the better part of half an hour before Emma was settled on Fraser's lap, Diefenbaker on his side, his head almost touching her side, and the negotiations began. Because that was what it was. Even though Stella wanted Ray, Ray Vecchio and Constable Fraser in Emma's life she wasn't willing to let her sleep over more than two nights a week, and no weekends.
"C'mon, Stel," Ray complained. "Two nights are just not fair. I'm her father."
"And I'm her mother," Stella replied.
"So?" Ray lifted his hands. "Does that make you more important than me?" He asked.
"That's not what I'm saying, Ray," Stella said.
"What are you saying then?" Vecchio asked.
"Please," Stella said, visibly trying to keep calm. "I'm just trying to get Emma the most stable environment possible, and I don't think that moving her around every second day is...stable," she finished.
"I'm afraid, I would have to agree with Mrs. Kowalski," Fraser responded, finally took part of taking part in the discussion. "We should always keep Emma's well-being in mind."
"You want us to give her up?" Vecchio asked, incredulous.
"That's not what he said," Ray said, his eyes fixed on Fraser. "Frase?"
"Emma will need her mother," Fraser continued, his own eyes on Emma who was sleeping in his arms, "as much as she needs her father. We should put our pride aside and find a solution that's best for Emma. I think Mrs. Kowalski's suggestion is quite reasonable. Perhaps one weekend a month wouldn't be too much to ask for?"
Ray could see Stella crumble under Fraser's gaze; he had her trapped. Ray smiled - one point for the home team.
"What do you say, Stel? Deal?"
After a few minutes' pause Stella could only agree. "All right," she said. "Two days a week and one weekend a month."
"Thank you kindly." Fraser said, nodding his head slightly.
"You would be a tough witness in court, Constable." Stella said, her tone appreciatively.
"Oh yeah, that's Benny, all right." Vecchio grinned.
~::~::~::~
Emma grew, getting more and more aware of her surroundings, and becoming the most important part in three lives. Well, four.
Diefenbaker certainly did his part to protect his pack, keep it together. Even if it meant staying once in a while with Stella, when he thought it was necessary. Stella, of course, wasn't too impressed by a half-wolf in her apartment but there wasn't much she or anybody could do about it.
Emma's precious time with her dad was mostly spent outside in parks or the Chicago Zoo. Of course, all three men still had jobs to attend so Emma went with one of them in turns during the day or stayed with her nanny while they spent the evenings together.
Sometimes Stella joined them, which wasn't always as easy as it seemed. Fraser, especially, had difficulties relaxing in Stella's presence. He often became horribly polite, which to his annoyance didn't go unnoticed.
~::~::~::~
Ray Vecchio grew more and more jumpy when Stella was around. He couldn't help it, that woman just got to him. He always had had a thing for attorneys but this became more than a chase for him.
Stella wasn't just a tough lawyer; she had wits, and she was more vulnerable that she let on. She was still in love with Kowalski which became undeniable when they all spent time together. But it was a love that could never be again. Too much had happened between them and Ray could see her regret when she dealt with Kowalski.
~::~::~::~
Ray Kowalski had a grand time. Not always, mind you. There were still plenty of bad guys out there that needed to be caught but in the whole Ray figured his life was great. He had a gorgeous daughter he actually spent time with and he had three friends to share her with.
And Stella and he were friends again, almost like before and sometimes Ray thought about making a move. Maybe they could be happy together again. Usually those kinds of thoughts were interrupted by Fraser's fruitless attempts to make conversation with The Stella. It was almost funny. The guy just couldn't relax in Stella's presence, and it wasn't like Stella came onto him or anything, no. It seemed like she was as reluctant toward Fraser as Fraser was toward her.
Weird.
Maybe not so much when Ray thought about that night Fraser and he gave Emma a bath. It seemed so long ago and sometimes he thought it never had happened. Fraser hadn't said anything ever since. They had just gone back to the way they were before. Maybe a move in that direction was necessary? Maybe not, Ray liked the life he had now, and he didn't want to screw it up.
~::~::~::~
They had just come home from an evening out in the park, Kowalski complaining that he got bitten by a thousand bugs and Ray calling him a baby when they heard their phone ringing inside their apartment.
Fraser quickly opened the door and Ray sprinted inside to answer the call.
"Ray?" It was Stella.
"Yeah," Ray answered. "I mean... Vecchio," he babbled. "I'll get the other one for you."
"No!"
Ray hesitated, making helpless gestures toward Kowalski who had come closer to take over.
"You want to talk to me"? He asked uncertainly.
"I'm sorry, Ray. Could you...," she paused and Ray felt his heart start beating faster. "Could you come over? Please?"
Now it was Ray's turn to pause.
"What's up?" Kowalski demanded to know but Ray only waved him off.
"Yeah," he answered Stella. "'Course."
"Thank you, Ray."
Ray nodded his head, forgetting that Stella couldn't see him.
"Ray?" She asked.
"Oh, sorry. I'll be there in a few."
"Thanks." She hung up and Ray kept on starring at the phone receiver.
"That was Stella, wasn't it?" Kowalski asked, his voice filled with suspicion and worry.
Ray didn't answer.
"Vecchio!" Kowalski got louder, making Emma squirm in Fraser's arms.
"She asked me to come over." He mumbled.
"What?" Kowalski said. "Stella, my Stella asked you over?"
"Ray." Fraser tried to calm Kowalski down.
"Yeah," Ray looked at Kowalski now. "Your Stella asked me over. Me, Ray Vecchio. You got any problems with that?"
Kowalski got even closer to Ray like he intended to threaten him. He cocked his head then, pausing before he stepped back again.
"Is she all right?" Kowalski asked, his voice more controlled now.
"She didn't say." Ray answered, saying: "I better go," while moving toward the door.
"Call if she needs anything!"
Ray only waved his hand and closed the door behind him.
They apartment went silent. Even Emma had stopped squirming in Fraser's arms. Kowalski kept on staring at the door.
"Ray?"
No reaction.
"Ray!" Fraser stepped closer. "Come on Ray, we have to prepare dinner for Emma."
"She called Vecchio," Kowalski mumbled. "My Stella called Vecchio. What does that mean, Fraser?" Ray finally took his gaze off the door and looked at Fraser.
"It doesn't necessarily mean anything, Ray," Fraser tried to be polite. "Ray and Stella became quite acquainted to one another over the last few weeks. Perhaps..."
"She's sleeping with him."
Fraser opened his mouth to deny the possibly but thought better of it.
"I'm going to prepare Emma's meal," he said instead and walked into the kitchen, keeping on eye on Ray who was still standing in front of the closed door.
Ray kept unusually quiet through the duration of the evening and Fraser became quite worried that Ray might do something rash should Ray Vecchio return. Or not return as the case may be.
Emma was fast asleep by the time Fraser finally spoke up.
"Would it bother you if Ray and Stella were to get emotionally involved?" He asked.
Ray snapped out of his thoughts.
"I'm not thinking `emotionally' here, buddy," Ray answered, running his hands through his hair.
"So you're bothered then?"
"Vecchio is doing the horizontal mambo with my ex-wife. Of course I'm bothered." Ray jumped off the couch and started pacing. "Where the hell is he?"
"Ray." Fraser stood as well.
"Don't say anything!" Kowalski faced Fraser. "Just...don't."
Fraser straightened. "As you wish, Ray," he said, overly polite.
"Look," Ray started. "I'm just...I'm..." He ran his hands through his hair in a helpless gesture.
"You still care very deeply for your ex-wife," Fraser said. He had known that, of course. It just became painfully obvious once again now.
"She's all I know," Ray confessed.
"I understand." Fraser sounded defeated.
"No, you don't," Ray said, stepping closer. "When I fall I fall deeply, no return ticket. No parachute. Done deal. She was all I ever wanted, all I ever had."
"You are wrong, Ray. I do understand."
~::~::~::~
Ray paused, taking a closer look at Fraser. There was something in Fraser's eyes that made him believe that Fraser did understand.
"You've been gone like that?" Ray asked carefully, understanding that he was touching a sensitive topic here.
"Yes, Ray." Fraser confessed. "I once thought that I had had and lost all I ever wanted. I was wrong, though," he then lifted his gaze and looked into Ray's eyes directly. "I know better now."
"You do, huh?" Ray rolled on the back of his heels, running one hand through his hair. He didn't quite know what to say. Everything was so confusing right now, so in motion. This could go terribly wrong right here and now.
"I also understand if you would rather not talk about...it." Fraser continued, letting go of Ray's gaze.
"I...," Ray started. "I'm just...," he paused helplessly again. "You do know that I love you, don't you?"
"Please don't, Ray." Fraser all but hung his head. "I value our friendship; it's the most important thing, Ray, and... perhaps we shall never speak of it again."
"But Frase..."
"Good night, Ray." Fraser interrupted, lifting one hand. "Have a good night."
"Fuck!" Ray swore when Fraser's door clicked shut. Once more he was staring at a closed door.
~::~::~::~
Ray Vecchio returned when Fraser was about to feed Emma the next morning. Kowalski, fortunately, had had his second cup of coffee and therefore was more...approachable.
Ray met Kowalski's challenging look, walking over to Fraser to take over the task of feeding Emma.
"Thank you, Ray." Fraser said.
Ray just smiled in answer and sat down while Kowalski kept on staring at him.
"Something on my face, Kowalski?" He finally asked, mockingly.
"There will be if you don't tell me what happened last night." Kowalski glared.
"I think that's none of your business." Ray replied calmly.
"I'm certain, Ray," Fraser intervened, "that Ray is only asking about Stella's well-being."
Ray chuckled. "Yeah, sure he is, Benny. She's fine," he added, looking at Kowalski. "Now."
"Could you elaborate, Ray?" Fraser asked before Kowalski could say anything.
"Bad case, Benny," Ray's voice had lost all hints of mockery now. "You know how it is. We know how it is," he said looking at Kowalski. "I only kept her company. She needed somebody to talk to, somebody she could trust."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kowalski asked, short-tempered. "She saying that she doesn't trust me?"
"She's not saying that, no," Ray locked eyes with Kowalski. "You're her ex-husband, she...cares for you. You of all people should know what happened the last time she was vulnerable like that."
Kowalski lowered his gaze.
"She just doesn't want to screw it up. Again. You're good now so..."
Kowalski waved his hand to stop Ray's next words.
"She's all right now?" Kowalski asked.
"Yes, she is." Ray answered, nodding his head.
"Thanks," Kowalski said.
"You're welcome," Vecchio replied, mimicking Fraser's words. Kowalski grinned.
"You're still an asshole."
"Right back at ya."
They laughed.
~::~::~::~
Ray Vecchio spent more and more time with Stella. Even if Emma was with them he sometimes stayed at Stella's so it didn't come as a surprise when he announced one morning: "I asked Stella to marry me and she said yes."
Silence immediately fell over the room.
Fraser looked up from the book he had been reading, sitting in the living room while Kowalski had been surfing through the channels.
The remote control hit the floor, resounding like a gun shot.
"Congratulations, Ray!" Fraser stood and embraced his friend, then both looked expectantly at Kowalski.
"Yeah, congrats and all that," Kowalski mumbled but instead of shaking hands with Ray he went straight to his room, closing the door behind him.
"He needs some time to get warm up to the idea, I'm afraid," Fraser said, apologizing.
"Yeah," Ray chuckled uneasily. He had known that this was going to be a tough part. "I hope it's not taking too long. The wedding is in two weeks."
Fraser paused. "That's...sudden."
"We just don't wanna wait."
"I understand." Fraser answered.
"You're going to be my best man, aren't you, Benny?"
"I'll be honoured, Ray. Thank you."
~::~::~::~
Stella called later that night, talking to Kowalski only after he was finally convinced to take the call.
After what seemed to be forever Kowalski emerged from his room, phone receiver in hand.
"You better treat her right, Vecchio, or I'll kick you in the head," he said, offering his hand.
"I will." Vecchio took Ray's hand and shook it firmly. "And I know you would. I don't expect anything less."
Ray nodded. "We're on the same page, then."
"Yeah."
"What does a maid of honour do, Frase?" Ray suddenly asked and all three burst out laughing.
~::~::~::~
Time until the wedding went by fast. Vecchio and Stella only wanted a small ceremony, which turned out to be impossible. Ma Vecchio insisted that her only boy wasn't allowed to marry without his entire family present.
Large families had their advantages, though. Frannie took over the task of organizing flowers while Cousin Aunt Sophie tailored Stella's wedding dress; she also looked after Emma's dress. Cousin Louie had a limousine that would be used to drive the couple to the reception.
There wasn't much left for Kowalski, Fraser or Vecchio to do other than nodding their heads and agreeing with most of the decisions made.
Ray Kowalski, as Stella's unusual choice of her maid of honour, spent most of his time with Stella. Since he had accepted that Stella was happy he was way more relaxed. He only wanted the best for his Stella. He always had.
"Thank you, Ray," Stella said on the night before her wedding, taking Ray's hand. "This means a lot to me."
"You didn't think I could handle it, did you?"
"I had my doubts, yes." Stella smiled. "You've changed."
"I'm a grown-up now," Ray grinned at her. "I'm a dad now."
"No, that's not it," Stella disagreed, shaking her head. "Emma is not the reason. She may be part of it but you've found somebody else."
"Huh? There isn't anybody," Ray said. "You of all people should know that."
"What about Constable Fraser?"
"Frase?"
"He was scared, or as scared as he could be, when I came back into your life," Stella said. "I remember that first morning vividly," she added, smiling when Ray looked even more confused. "You were sleeping on the couch and he was...he loves you, Ray."
Ray lowered his gaze. "I know."
"What are you waiting for?" Stella asked.
"I dunno," Ray confessed. "What if it doesn't work? What if I screw it up? What..."
Stella interrupted Ray by taking his hand.
"It always takes two," she said. "We had good times but we both made mistakes, mistakes I don't intend to repeat with Ray. We were kids, which we aren't anymore. Don't waste any more time."
Ray smiled agreeing. "I love you," he whispered and placed a tender kiss on Stella's lips. "Don't tell Vecchio I kissed you."
~::~::~::~
It was a beautiful day for a wedding. The chapel was filled with family and friends and everybody was as nervous as you would expect them to be.
Even though it was a second marriage for both of them it felt like the first time all over again.
Stella was fiddling with her dress and Emma's, driving Kowalski nuts while Fraser more than once had to straighten Vecchio's tie that got moved while they had to wait for the priest to appear.
Everybody was quite relieved when the ceremony finally began.
Stella looked stunning in her dress, Emma in her arms, walking down the aisle, Ray at her side. He carefully placed her hand in Vecchio's when they reached the altar. He took Emma and placed a kiss on her cheek.
"Good luck," he said, stepping back then, exchanging a look with Fraser who stood in his gala uniform at Vecchio's side.
Fraser looked even more beautiful than Stella did, Ray figured. Something definitely had changed here and when Stella and Vecchio spoke their vows Ray moved to Fraser's side and took his hand, squeezing it.
Fraser squeezed right back and held onto Ray's hand.
The End
___________________________________________________________________
Original planned ending:
Fraser felt unbearably hot standing next to Ray as his best man. He felt dizzy, and the priest's voice talking about love and devotion seemed like a voice coming from far away.
He could do it, Fraser repeated in his mind over and over again. Ray had made his decision, he was going to marry Stella. Right here, right now, and Fraser, as his friend, would stand by him.
"Son," Bob Fraser appeared next to Fraser, looking somewhat out of place in his poncho and fur hat. "You have to do something," he insisted.
But there was nothing Fraser could do. Nothing at all. He wanted Ray to be happy and if Stella could give him that he would not interfere even though he just wanted to grab Ray by the hand and drag him out of here.
~::~::~::~
Ray's hand, if Fraser would reach for it right now, would be sweaty. Probably too sweaty to give Fraser a good grip. Why was this feeling so terribly wrong, Ray asked himself his eyes fixed on the priest. He was about to start a wonderful life with his beautiful daughter and wife. He would have a family. Maybe that was the problem. He already had a family. With Fraser and Emma, even Vecchio was part of it. He didn't need Stella to make his life complete, he only needed...Fraser. Fraser, who was standing next to him, radiating heat that burnt Ray's side.
Ray cast a glance at Fraser, their eyes locking. Ray knew what Fraser wanted to do but couldn't. He could feel Fraser holding himself back, only his eyes betraying his feelings. They were full of despair. God, he just loved the guy!
The priest just asked his rhetorical question of ... when Ray fixed his gaze on Fraser: "Are you really letting me do this?"
Fraser opened and closed his mouth like a fish on dry land.
"You know that I love you, don't you?" Ray asked a soft smile on his lips. "Do something," he said and Fraser did. He took Ray's face in his hands and kissed him. Once. Twice.
"Please," Fraser whispered against Ray's lips.
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End Three Men and a Baby by sam80853
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