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Author's Notes:

Story Notes:

He'd had the chance, more than once, but he hadn't taken it. He'd known as far back as Irene and Louis's deaths, and as recently as arriving back in town after his vacation and not seeing Ray at the station even though Ray had said he might not be able to make it .
--Its innate worth, so lost, it can regain --only by pouring back what guilt has spilled, --repaying evil pleasure with just pain.

He'd seen every opportunity available to him, and had discounted all of them because of his own fear In all his logic of when and where and how, he'd forgotten about that one variable you couldn't plug into a nice little equation of perfection--chaos. Entropy. Disorder.

--either that God, by courtesy alone,
--forgive his sin; or that the man himself, --by his own penitence and pain, atone.

One phone call hadn't been enough. A post card. No, not enough. It would never be enough.

--Should I expound this further?" he said to me. --And I:"There is no need, for now I know --nature cannot fall short of what must be."

There were few options left, really. He'd taken a wait-and-see attitude, waiting for the right time, the right situation. It was too late now, and now he was forced to wait and see. Funny, that.

--And lead weights to your feet may my words be, --that you move slowly, like a weary man, --to the 'yes' and 'no' of what you do not see

Ray might be fine. He might come back and follow him into the rabbit's hole one more time. Ruin another suit, as these things were. Or he might come back and hate him; or he might not come back at all. That was always a possibility, wasn't it?

--Search our book leaf by leaf and you will see, --I have no doubt, written upon some page: --'I am today all that I used to be.'

Dante's Paradiso (as translated by John Ciardi)

End Long way down by silvina: sdelcul@yahoo.com

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